Uprising
by jasperskitty
Summary: Story begins five months after Bella's birthday party. Jasper returns. What will he find? J/B story. Lemons in the future.
1. Prologue

**Five months have passed since Bella's birthday party. The Cullens are gone, but Jasper returns, not knowing what to expect. New Moon AU.**

Chapter 1 Prologue

Jasper POV

Time flew by fast. Days turned into weeks, then months and suddenly it was January.

They say it's like that when you're having fun.

I wouldn't know. I could hardly remember the last time I had any (real) fun. Figuratively speaking, of course. After all, as a vampire I was equipped with a perfect memory, which, in my opinion, was more of a curse than a blessing. There were things I've seen and done, I would gladly erase from my mind. But I couldn't. I was forced to live with my memories, all of them, forever … or at least until someone would finally manage to get the better of me. Not to sound cocky or anything, but the odds of that ever happening were in fact rather slim.

Whatever …

Come to think of it, there was a moment, last spring, when we hunted down that tracker. Killing James, ripping him into pieces and setting him on fire - that was certainly enjoyable. Not that I took great pleasure in killing, not anymore at least, if ever, but back then I wanted to kill him thrice over. Not for pleasure, well okay maybe a little bit, but mostly to take vengeance. After all, James tried to kill a member of my family – a new one and a human to boot, but a member nonetheless. In my book, that was a good enough reason to take drastic measures.

No one was allowed to screw with my family.

Not even me.

_Especially_ not me.

That's why I left. And even though it pained me to stay away, I had no intention of ever returning. How could I? I was barely able to look at myself in the mirror, much less face my family.

Minor correction, my _former_ family, or at least that's what I assumed they were now. And rightly so, after what I did …

My mind was made up, but apparently Peter didn't get the memo.

He cornered me one day in the woods behind the house, catching me completely off guard. Admittedly, that was quite the accomplishment considering I was an empath. I really should have seen, or rather felt it coming. But I didn't. But then again, it wasn't really a surprise. I'd been far too preoccupied with myself to notice that Peter's patience had finally reached its limit.

Usually he tried to keep a tight lid on his feelings – mostly to spare me – but not right now. You didn't have to be an empath to see that he was pissed. His face spoke volumes, not to mention his tone of voice and stance.

"Jasper, you know Char and I love you, and respect you, but enough is enough." Typically Peter, never one to beat around the bush, he came straight to the point.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Nice try, Major." He snorted, seeing right through my feeble attempt of deflection. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you are aiming for the Sourpuss-of-the-Year award, congratulations, it's yours. Really, five months? That's a new record. Just suck it up and grow some pairs."

"Yeah …" I grunted in agreement. Peter was right. It was about time that I pulled myself together. Spending the last five months moping around had been a waste of time, not to mention shamefully embarrassing since there had been witnesses. Not that Peter or Charlotte would rub it in. Not to hurt me on purpose anyway, but still showing weakness like that was … inexcusable.

"I know, you miss your old life … even though I will never understand why." Peter said, with a shake of his head. I didn't comment on his jibe. We've been over this a thousand times. I knew where he and his mate stood when it came to the Cullens. "But I get it. You've spent the last fifty years with them. They were your family, your anchor. And now that it's gone, you feel lost."

"True." I agreed, even though it wasn't necessary to say it out loud. "But maybe it's for the best. Let's face it. Someone like me had no place among them."

"Maybe," Peter allowed, though I could tell that he was itching to say something entirely different. Something like, I told you so. But he didn't. "But even so, you need to say goodbye. You need to make amends. You need closure – once and for all." He insisted in his usual 'don't you dare try and fight me on this, I know better anyway' kind of way. And of course I gave in, like always, because I knew it was pointless to argue with Peter, especially when he was like that.

Peter sure was one of a kind. I wasn't exactly certain what his gift was, or if he even had a gift to begin with, but he was certainly special in his own way.

"I just know things." He said to me once, shrugging it off when I asked for details, clearly not willing to elucidate. Maybe he didn't even know what his gift was. I've never pushed the matter, just accepted him and his crazy quirks. But sometimes he just freaked me out with his insightfulness, the innuendos he threw at me, reluctant to put them into plain words.

But then again I've always known I could trust him, without reservation, even when we had totally different opinions about things. He'd quickly become my best friend. No wonder, after all we've been through together. He was the only person who knew every detail of my life and accepted me for who I was, and vice versa. We were brothers in the every sense of the word, well, almost every.

"And you probably want to get some of your clothes and your personal items back." He added as an afterthought.

Peter had a point. Not the part about my clothes. I couldn't care less about them, because I could easily buy new ones. But when I left Forks, I left in such a hurry that I hadn't been able to take any of my precious belongings with me. My guitar, my books, and the few reminders of my human life I've been able to hang on for all those years. Not only did I want them, I actually needed them back. And of course Peter knew this too.

I tried to tell him that I would be okay doing this trip on my own. But of course Peter had to disagree. "No fucking way. You are not ready to deal with them on your own."

Even without saying their names, I knew he was talking about Alice and Edward – my lovely wife and my dear brother. I thought about objecting, but going by Peter's persistent voice I knew that he wouldn't budge on this. And to be honest, I wasn't quite sure if I would be able handle the reunion all by myself. As short as it might be, it surely wouldn't be pleasant. And Peter's calming influence could turn out to be useful.

"Fine, be that way." I grumbled. No need to sound too eager accepting his offer … well other than laying emphasis on my pathetic display.

Needless to say, Peter wasn't fooled. He clapped me on the shoulder, chuckling as he walked back into the house.

A couple days later I sat on the porch in an old, but comfortable rocking chair, staring into space, once again lost in my thoughts. It was the night before our departure, and to be honest I was a bit nervous. Even after all the talking Peter, Char and I had done over the last days.

It was near dusk and still quite warm for the season. Not that it mattered, since my kind was pretty much impervious to temperature changes. But the warmth was still pleasant.

There was no need to look up, I could hear and feel Peter coming out to join me.

"We both should hunt before we leave tomorrow." He announced, and I agreed, although I wasn't really hungry. With a playful wink he added, "And of course, I need to say a proper goodbye to my wife. So please, take your time."

I groaned, rolling my eyes at him. He just smirked and turned around, reentering the house. I didn't linger, quickly making my escape into the nearby woods.

Peter's and Charlotte's relationship was very similar to Emmett's and Rose's, at least when it came down to the matter of sex. I was just glad that they at least were a little bit more understanding, more sympathetic to my current emotional state that they tried not to bother me too often with their lusty feelings. Hearing them was hard enough, but being able to sense and thus being forced to experience it myself, without actually experiencing it, was something I was so not in the mood for. Most of the times, I just took off leaving them alone in the house … for hours at the time, just to be safe. Just like now.

I didn't take me long to find a herd of deer. With pinpoint precision I took down the biggest one, draining it quickly before getting rid of the carcass. Even though Peter and Charlotte were feeding on humans I stuck to the animal diet. Funny, I hadn't even once slipped up in the last five months, although there was no one here to whom I had to prove myself ... well no one except me. Carlisle would be proud of me.

_Carlisle._

I sat down on a tree stump, putting my head in my hands. Thinking about Carlisle brought back all the feelings of failure and disappointment right back to the surface. I'd tried very hard to bury the memories of that dreadful evening, the one event that had changed everything … Bella's 18th birthday party. But to no use, every time I closed my eyes I could still see the horrified expressions on each and everyone's face.

Esme, my mother, Carlisle, my father, Emmett, my brother, Rose, my sister – all of them had been shocked to the core. But the worst had been Edward and Alice. Besides the horror and disappointment, there was something else, underneath the surface. Something I couldn't put my finger on … Disgust? Fear? Realization? I still wasn't sure.

Why did Edward have to throw Bella into that table? Of course, I'd snapped. I just couldn't help it. The magnitude of all the emotions had been too much, clouding my judgment, making it impossible to make rational decisions. I had acted on pure instinct.

Emmett and Rose had dragged me outside right after, trying their best to calm me down. And in a way it had worked, but not in the way they had expected. Sure, as soon as I had been out of the house, the fog had lifted, my mind had been clearer. Clear enough to make a decision. Sitting there on damp grass in the backyard of the huge white house I realized that I could never back in, never face any of them. It had been all too much for me to handle and I knew what I needed to do. So I took off, and ran.

Sure it hadn't been the first time I'd screwed up but this time had been totally different. Draining a random human was one thing but when you try to kill a member of your own family – especially someone as innocent and lovely as Bella – then you undoubtedly were a monster. I just knew there was no way my family would forgive me for what I did. Hell, I couldn't even forgive myself.

When I came here all these months ago, on foot by the way, I had been shaking like a leaf. Sure Edward had always been the fastest in the family, but that night I had run faster than ever before. Driven by the need of putting as much distance between them and me, I had made it to Arizona in record time. The feelings of anger and self-hatred had been rolling of me in waves. I hadn't been able to get control of my own emotions. I'd really thought I might be losing my mind.

Of course, Peter had been happy to see me, considering that we had seen each other just a couple of times in the last decade, but as soon as he'd taken in my condition, he had shown nothing but concern and love. At that time I had been sure that his first thought had been that I had slipped up once again, but he hadn't voiced it. One look into my eyes probably had answered that question. But gladly, as soon as I had been in his presence I finally had been able to calm down completely, and get a hold of myself and my feelings.

The next two weeks Peter and Char had kept their distance, giving me time to settle in. They hadn't pushed me, hadn't forced me to answer questions, they'd most certainly had. In fact, we had barely seen each other in those days. Peter had sensed that I'd needed time and had given it to me, for which I had been very grateful. But finally, after 16 days, he'd cracked and demanded an explanation for my sudden appearance on his doorstep.

I told him everything, from the first moment Bella had entered my life to the night I'd tried to kill her. He'd had been very patient and attentive, listening to my story without interrupting me once. Even when I told him that I'd just took off shortly after the incident, he hadn't commented.

I had been such a coward then, and I still was. Afraid to face my family. I hadn't called them once in all these months, and what made it even worse they hadn't tried to contact me either. I was pretty sure Alice knew exactly where I was, and she still hadn't called. That fact just confirmed my suspicions. They all were still mad at me, disappointed in my behavior. And I couldn't blame them, because I felt the same. But I knew that it was time to make things right, apologize to them and put the past behind me. Otherwise, I knew I wouldn't be able to move forward. To wherever my future would take me...

With a sigh I stood up and slowly made my way back to the house.

**Revised and reposted on May, 11****th****, 2013**


	2. There is no place like home

Chapter 2 There's no place like home

Jasper POV

The next morning we were on our way back to Forks, in Peter's truck. He'd insisted on driving. I didn't mind, because I was already so tense and nervous that I was pretty sure even with my perfect vampire skills I would have driven us into a tree at some point. Not that we would be harmed in any way, but Peter would certainly be pissed if I'd damaged the car in the process.

So, here I sat on the passenger seat, looking out the window as the scenery flew by. By this speed we would make it to Forks in just a few hours. I wished that he would take his time, but he wouldn't have that. "My car, my rules." But what he'd actually meant was 'No need to put the inevitable on hold'.

The radio was on, some Country music was playing, but I ignored it. Once again I was lost in thought, like so often these days.

This time I tried to picture the reaction of each family member to my unexpected return. Even though I couldn't be sure about it, I tried to believe that Carlisle and Esme would be able to forgive me for the whole 'trying to eat their daughter' incident, but maybe they wouldn't be so forgiving about my sudden vanishing act afterwards and my silence ever since. But I was sure that they would give me at least the chance to explain and apologize for my erratic behavior. That's what parents are for, right?

Emmett – my _little_ brother. I was pretty sure he was still pissed about my behavior to some extent but he had never been one to hold grudges against anybody for long. But then again I knew he fiercely loved Bella. She was his little sister, and he was like her big, protective brother. One thing was for certain, he wouldn't let me near her again which would be fine with me … like that was even a possibility I'd considered.

Rosalie – my dear sister. She had been the closest person in the family, next to Alice. And with the knowledge that she didn't like Bella very much, she would most certainly be the only one in the family who would welcome me back with open arms. Well … I knew that it wouldn't be exactly that easy, my disappearing act had probably enraged her more than anybody else in the family. But I truly missed her, and I would beg for her forgiveness. Even though I didn't plan on staying, I would like to keep in touch with her and Emmett.

Well … that left only two more members of my family.

I couldn't remember who had been angrier with me that night. Edward – because I had tried to kill his girlfriendor Alice – because I had tried to kill her best friend. Actually, with all the emotions going haywire in just a second it had been almost impossible for me to get a good read on any of them. Hate and fear, those two emotions had been the ones I remembered for the most part. And because I'd taken off almost immediately after the attack, I'd never gotten the chance to find out the source and the meaning behind the intensity of these particular feelings.

One thing was for sure though, Edward wouldn't give a fuck if I came back or not, seeing that we've never been that close in all those years we've lived together. In his mind, I had never been nor would I ever be a true member of his family. It wouldn't take a mind-reader or an empath to see the truth in that statement. Whenever I'd slipped up in the past, his opinion of me had been written all over his face. I was the weak link, a dangerous monster, unable to control myself … and the only reason he'd tolerated my presence had been Alice. Both of them always had been so close, like confidants or true siblings. Back then I'd wanted to stay so badly that I had done my best to ignore his aversion towards me and kept my mouth shut. But anyhow, whatever his problems with me were when we would meet again in a few hours I would try to be civil and apologize, but that would be about it though.

Alice – my mate, my wife. Truth be told, her reaction to my return was the one I feared the most. How could I make things right between us? Would she allow me to? Would I even want to? How was it possible that neither of us had tried to make contact with the other? The coward in me had hoped she would make the first move, but she hadn't. What did that say about our relationship? Was I that disposable? Was she? After all this time we'd spent together?

What had I done? Was there even the slightest chance, that I could make it up to her after abandoning her like that? I'd acted like a true monster and a complete idiot, and now I had to pay the price. I started to begin to drown again in a mixture of self-pity and self-loathing.

What the fuck was wrong with me? I was a vampire for crying out loud! I was fucking Major Whitlock. God of War. And here I was sitting, nervous to go back and face my family. Since when was I such a pussy?

With a heavy sigh I sank deeper into the seat.

"What's the matter?" Peter asked, speaking for the first time since we've left two hours ago. He was emanating true concern and curiosity, and a little bit of mischief. Weird combination, sure, but typical behavior for my brother, though.

"Geez, Peter. Sometimes I wonder if you're an empath, too." Or a fucking mind reader. God forbid!

Peter laughed, shaking his head. "You know I'm not. I just know you. And honestly, it's hard to keep a level head with you projecting your emotions like that. I am sensing anger, hate, a lot of uncertainty ... and what makes me wonder ... a little fear?"

"I'm not afraid." I growled at him. Of course, it was a lie, but there was no way I would admit that out load. But leave it to Peter, of course he saw right through my defensive behavior.

When he chuckled in response I glared at him, letting him know that I didn't appreciate his taunting this time. My stare seemed to sober him up ... a little. But unfortunately, it didn't stop him from responding. "Sure, you are. It's only reasonable, though. I would be anxious too. Considering the circumstances ... the dreadful event of that night, the way you left, no contact whatsoever in the last five month ... of course, you are afraid. Not of them of course, because let's face it, neither one of them would stand a chance against you and your fighting expertise. But you are afraid of how they will react to your sudden return, afraid of their emotions. And I get it, it will be hard. Especially for you. Being an empath and all.

"But just as I'd said before. You need to put this guilt behind you. You need to put the past behind you. Otherwise it will eat you up. Trust me you will get your chance to make amends." Peter gave me a small smile, and then he diverted his eyes back to the road.

Somehow I got the feeling there was more to his statement, but I knew it would be pointless to push the issue. He probably would just deny it anyway.

"I hope you're right. Even if I'm not going to stay with them any longer, at least I want to part ways rather as friends than as enemies." I replied, sighing again. _Hope is the last thing that dies._ That's the saying, wasn't it?

"_If_ you're not going to stay… So, you haven't made a decision yet, whether you'll come back with me to Arizona?" Peter asked. He sounded more curious than concerned.

"Huh, actually, I don't know yet." I conceded. It was true. All I'd been thinking about was the upcoming meeting with my former family. I haven't had the chance to make any further plans. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wouldn't stay with them, no matter the outcome of our reunion.

Peter just nodded thoughtfully. For a few minutes he was silent, and then he spoke again. "Whatever you'll decide will be fine with me. But just so you know, in my opinion a life like theirs isn't the right kind of life for you. Don't get me wrong. I don't criticize their choice of diet. Not really. How could I? I can tell that you are doing so much better feeding of animals than humans. It might not be my choice, but it's yours. And I'm proud of you. You're still sticking to it – even though you don't have to – which tells me that it's what you want. And that's okay. But the bottom line is it's the only good thing that came out of the entire time you've spent with them."

With an unmistakable look on his face Peter was daring me to contradict him. But I didn't. I couldn't, because he was right about everything. I've chosen to stay a vegetarian on my own free will not because I wanted to prove that I could do it my own but because I was sick of killing humans. And I would never return to that way of life again. Not if I could help it. But Peter was right about something else. After being away from them for so long, I'd realized that this family life with the Cullens wasn't really what I've been looking for. Come to think of it, I've probably only stayed with them for so long because of Alice. In the beginning I thought I've found the love of my life – or rather existence – in Alice, and with the Cullens, the family I always wanted. I would have gone anywhere, done anything for Alice, just so I could be with her. She had been my life. But now I wasn't so sure anymore.

Like he was reading my mind, Peter answered my thoughts. "I know that you loved Alice. Hell, you probably still do. And that's okay. Sure, I don't like her, but not because of who she is but because of what she has done to you." I looked at him, astonished. He just rolled his eyes at me. "Oh, come on, man, that damn pixie did nothing but control you. Your whole life has been in her hands, every decision. Hell, she even fucking decided what you wear. And that's just sick."

I had to give it to him. Peter always spoke his mind, no sugar-coating the truth. That was one thing I loved about him. Charlotte was the same. Maybe that's why they were so perfect for each other. No wonder they were the ones I'd fled to. I appreciated their sense of honesty. And having the truth thrown right in my face certainly helped me to finally see the truth.

Peter was right. Alice had dictated our relationship, and I'd allowed it. Out of love? Possibly, after all she had been my first love. But more likely because I hadn't known any better. When we first met at that dinner in Philadelphia she'd had been exactly what I'd needed at the time. A glimpse of hope, a way out of my depression and she's been all that and more. She'd helped me a lot, no doubt about that, and I would be forever grateful. But with the passing years our relationship hadn't grown, it had changed. And into what? Into a farce – a puppet and its puppeteer.

"Yeah, you're right." I agreed lamely, not knowing what else to say. Peter didn't comment, in fact he didn't react in any way. And I was glad about that. For the next hours we drove in silence.

We've always been like that, able to enjoy each other's company in utter silence. It was comforting, and right now it was exactly what I needed. But the closer we got to Forks the more anxious I became. I was glad that Peter was keeping his cool, thus allowing me to feed of his calmness to keep myself from losing it.

We were an hour outside of Forks when Peter broke finally the silence again. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"You know something, I don't?" I asked, glancing at him.

"Of course, I do … not." He grinned, knowing exactly what I was getting at. "And just so you know, I came with you to help you through this, to keep your emotions in check if need be. Not to be your babysitter."

"I know." I growled, slightly annoyed by his last sentence. "But, thank you."

"What are friends for?" He said, shrugging and waving his hand dismissively, like him being here with me wasn't a big deal at all. But I knew better. With his weird ability to shield himself from my gift, partially or not, he surely would be a viable asset – figuratively speaking, of course.

We drove the rest of the way mostly in silence. Once or twice Peter sensed that I needed a distraction, so he told me stories about him and Charlotte, about what they'd been up to in the past five years. We laughed a lot, and soon we were reveling in our own old memories ... just the good ones, of course.

When we finally reached the road that led to the house, I could see right away that something was off. And I could sense it too. No one was in the vicinity. In fact, it was quite obvious that no one had been here for quite some time. The meadow around the house was overgrown with wildflowers and weeds. No way, Esme would allow that to happen … unless they had left town. I was stunned beyond speech when the reality hit me.

They left. But why? And when? Sure we've never stayed in one place for too long, a couple of years, maybe a decade, but this was too soon.

It made no sense at all. Why would they leave this place? I wasn't here anymore. I left to make it easier for them. No more looking out for me and worrying about my lack of control around humans. Around Bella.

"No one is home." Peter's voice broke through my musing, stating the obvious.

"I know." I mumbled absent-mindedly. Suddenly my nervousness was gone, replaced by a new feeling. The feeling of abandonment. It was numbing. I'd expected screaming, maybe even some fighting ... but this? Not in a million years.

Peter parked the truck right in front of the house. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. But knowing there was no reason to put it off any longer, I got out of the car and walked up the few stairs to the front door. For a moment there I thought about taking a turn around and just leave.

_Coward!_ I chided myself. _No more running! Time to face the music ... well more like time to face the reality._

I reminded myself why I was here in the first place. Okay, the Cullens were gone and I didn't get the chance to apologize, but I still wanted to get my things. I doubted that Alice had taken anything with her. Unless to spite me …

I had to open the door with force, due to the lack of keys. I knew I would have to fix it before we would leave, but right now I couldn't care less. I entered the house cautiously, taking in a deep breath. There was only a faint residue of their mingled scents left which meant that they must have left this place probably around the same time of my departure.

I was aware that Peter had joined me but I ignored his presence because I was too busy absorbing the evidence of their disappearance. There were barely any reminders left. Almost every piece of furniture in the living room was gone except for the couch and the coffee table, both covered with some white cloth … and what shocked me to no end, Edward's piano. What the hell? He loved that stupid thing.

What the hell happened after I left?

Even though I was dreading it, I deliberately made my way upstairs, straight towards the room Alice and I had shared for the last two years. I stopped at the door, taking in another unnecessary breath. I was bracing myself for whatever I would find behind the closed door. Without any further delay I pushed the door open to find myself in a completely empty room. Sure, I'd expected as much, but seeing it with my own eyes shook me to the core.

They left. They left me. No goodbye. No note. No contact numbers. I was left behind, abandoned by the people who had once claimed to love me. My wife, my siblings, my parents. All gone.

I sank down to the floor in the middle of room, allowing my grief to consume me. If I were able to cry I surely would have cried like a baby.

"I'm sorry, brother." I heard Peter whisper behind me, and I could tell that he truly meant it. No matter what he thought about the Cullens, and about my choice to join them all those decades ago, he did know how much they'd meant to me.

"Well. I guess I had it coming." I sighed.

A wave of anger hit me. "Don't you dare and start with this again!" Peter growled.

"But it is my fault." I insisted, stubbornly.

"You don't know why they left." He countered. He was still mad, but trying hard to keep his emotions in check.

"True …" I agreed reluctantly.

"Well, look at the positive … at least now you know what they really think of you." Peter said, giving me his trademark look – tilted head, raised eyebrows and a twitch at the corners of his lips. As always, well almost always, it had the desired effect, pulling me out of my emotional stupor.

"Yeah, right," I snorted, jumped on my feet. "Come on, apparently there is no need for us to linger here longer than necessary. Let's look for my stuff and get out of here."

Peter rubbed his palms together, indicating his readiness to get to work. But on the way to the door he suddenly froze and his head snapped around towards the window. "Someone is coming." He hissed.

I followed his gaze, and even though I couldn't see anything yet, I could hear the sound of a truck, slowly coming down the path leading towards the house. It was a familiar sound. I knew this car. And I knew exactly who was riding it.

**Revised and reposted on May, 11****th****, 2013**


	3. Good to have you back, bro!

**A/N I planned to write this story mostly from Jasper's point of view. But reading all the reviews I thought Peter should have his chapter(s) too. And yes, he will play a vital part in this story, as well as Charlotte.**

**Bella will be introduced in this chapter as well. Bear in mind, that this is **_**my**_** version of Bella. Of course, she's devastated about the whole abandonment by the Cullens, but she's much stronger than she seems, or isn't she? Stay with me and find out.**

**Enough babbling, here is the next chapter.**

**Enjoy!!!**

* * *

Chapter 3 Good to have you back, bro!

Peter POV

It was late at night, around midnight actually. Both I and my mate Charlotte were sitting in our living room, reading … just passing time, enjoying each other's company in total silence. Just a few minutes ago we'd come back from having 'dinner' out in the nearest town.

We always settled down as far away as possible from any human civilization, not out of necessity but because we preferred living in seclusion. Of course, over the years we'd managed to gain enough self-control to be able to stay closer to humans, but considering that we indeed were still a danger to them, it probably still was for the better to keep our distance … just in case. And anyhow, I wasn't the least bit interested in bonding with a human, so what would be the point in living next door to them. As far as I was concerned humans were only our natural food supply and nothing else. And my mama had taught me not to play with my food before eating...

It has been ten years since we'd bought this house, here in the south of Arizona, fairly close to the Mexican border. We both loved the sunny states, especially in the winter month, so we usually came here around September and stayed until March before moving back north to one of our other residences there. Of course, Arizona was just our second choice. The urge to return to our home state, to Texas, at some point was still very strong. But we both knew better. The moment we would enter her domain, our lives would be forfeited. We've been lucky to escape from Maria once, but I doubted that we would be successful a second time. Even with our fighting experience I didn't want to put it to a test, and risking Charlotte's life was clearly out of the question. Better safe than sorry. So, we've kept on avoiding the one place we both simultaneously feared and loved. But then again, I had my mate, and that was all that I needed to be happy. And of course my freedom …

Wham … there it was again. In a split of a second I saw it. A single picture in my head.

"Jasper is coming." I blurted out load. Charlotte, my wife and mate, who was sitting across from me on the couch, reading some kind of magazine, snapped her head up. She met my eyes, staring at me for a second, before the meaning of my words finally sank in.

"Yeah," She squealed, radiating pure happiness and excitement. "It's about time."

"You're right about that." I agreed lamely, still reeling from the after-effects of my peculiar gift.

_Can vampires get headaches? This pain in my head … sort of feels like one._

It was true. It has been more than five years since the last time we had seen each other. Not that I would admit it to his face, but I'd truly missed Jasper. And so did Charlotte. The bond between us, all three of us for that matter, was deeper than any normal bond. Only second to the bond I shared with Charlotte. We were all connected through the same venom. We were more than friends, we were family.

Charlotte straightened up, throwing the magazine on the table, and looking at me intently, like she was waiting for me to elaborate. When I didn't, she frowned. "Will SHE be coming too?"

I smirked at her. Charlotte probably loathed that little pixie more than me. "Don't worry, my love. He will be on his own." Apparently, I didn't sound overly convincing.

"I only hope he comes alone. No way will I allow that damn wife of his stay here too. Not after last time."

I laughed at her grimace, remembering the last time Jasper brought Alice with him, on one of his very rare visits since he'd joined the Cullens.

"Like I said, he's coming alone." Of course, I couldn't be a hundred percent certain about my assessment, and she knew this, but she didn't argue, because she trusted me ... and my gift.

"Good." She looked pleased, but then she shot me a quizzical look. "Wait a minute … He hasn't called you, has he? I didn't hear the phone. What's going on, Peter?"

Busted. "No, he did not call me. I got a _message_, of him being here with us. Soon."

"Oh." She said, understanding the hidden meaning. "Is he in trouble?"

"Probably." I sighed. It was very unusual for Jasper to appear at our doorstep, without announcing his arrival in advance. Not that we would have a problem with that whatsoever, but since his alliance with his new family, he'd changed. And not only for the better.

Charlotte nodded, and got up. "I will have his room ready."

"Thanks. I love you."

"What are friends for? And Peter, I love you, too." She said, leaning down to kiss my lips, before whizzing out of the living room to prepare the guest room for our brother's visit.

* * *

It was two days later in the early morning hours, when I knew for certain that Jasper would arrive at our house that very same day.

I didn't know what to expect exactly. I was no Alice after all. Thank God! I didn't have premonitions like her … and I was fucking glad about that. My power or gift, or whatever you wanna call it didn't work the same way as hers. Instead of the whole picture show she was experiencing, the only thing I got was one single image, popping right into my head … always out of the blue.

I'd quickly figured out that they weren't always pictures of future events, but of the past as well. Most of the time, I didn't pay much attention to them. Being a vampire gave me the opportunity to recall them at any time when necessary. I had no need to let this gift control my life … I knew it could be useful, but I didn't need it, to guide me and others through life ... like Alice. And that one single picture always held all the information I needed.

Like two days ago … the image of my dear brother, sitting with us in our living … the same flowers in the vase on the coffee table, I'd bought that very same day for my wife, still fresh … telling me about the time frame of his arrival … the dress Charlotte would wear that day … telling me it was today ... and the fact that it was indeed only Jasper with us, let me assume that he was in fact coming alone …

All those tiny details in just one single image … like a photo, giving me all the information I needed to know today was the day he would finally come home. No complete visions, just a picture for me to put the pieces of the puzzle together to figure out the hidden meaning. It didn't tell me why or even how Jasper would come here, only that he would.

So, I just sat down on the porch in one of the wooden chairs, and waited patiently. I'd sent Charlottes away, and she'd gone into town to do some shopping without even questioning my motive. Oh God, I loved that woman! I wasn't completely sure why I wanted her out of here for the day. But my intuition told me, that it would be best if I would be here alone to greet Jasper. For him coming here out of the blue, no phone call, no text message … it could only mean one thing. Trouble.

As I sat there, I let my eyes wander from the road that led to the house over towards the tree line of the nearby woods. That was when I first saw him. Well, I had expected him to come alone, but I sure as hell hadn't expected him to arrive on foot. On foot from Forks. Wow, he really had to be in trouble. I gasped at the sight of him. He looked like hell. Clothes dirty, hair dishevelled … like he literally just had been to hell and back again.

_What the fuck?_

I slowly stood up and walked down the stairs, but then stopped in my tracks. Even from this distance I could sense that his mood was even worse than his appearance. I knew it would be wise to wait for him to come to me. Against the Major I wouldn't stand a chance, and right this moment he looked like he was just a hair's breadth from snapping.

He came closer very slowly, almost careful in his movement, like he was testing himself, checking if he was still in control. I knew this was bad sign. His whole body shivered, vibrating with emotions of hate and anger. But what surprised me was that these emotions were only directed at himself and not me or anybody else for the matter.

_Fuck. He'd slipped up, again. After all this time ... Fuck!_

But as soon as he was close enough, I could see that I was wrong with my conclusion. His eyes were still the strange golden colour. Prove of his weird choice of diet.

_Oookay. No slip up. What then?_

I didn't ask the question, because it was obvious to me that he wasn't in the mood to talk. Not yet, anyway.

"Hey, Major. Welcome back." I greeted him instead, letting him feel my concern and love. I knew that was all he needed right now, and quite obviously all he could handle. He visibly calmed down some and came closer, until he was right in front of me.

"Thanks, bro." He whispered, and gave me quick, manly hug.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, glad that he didn't shy away and let him towards the house. "Well ... it looks like you could use a bath."

He only mumbled a 'yes' and 'thank you', before he excused himself, retreating to the bathroom, and leaving me alone in the living room.

_What the fuck happened to you, man?_

* * *

For the next two weeks, I let him sulk around the house, giving him time. Charlotte stayed away for most of the time, sensing that her presence would not make it easier for Jasper to open up. But finally, even I couldn't take it anymore.

"It's been two fucking weeks, man. Would you be so kind to tell me what the fuck is wrong?" I almost pleaded with him. We both sat on the porch that day, both pretending to read a book. I knew that he wasn't, because he'd been lingering on the same page for hours. I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, he was thinking so hard.

He turned to face me. I was glad to see him smile for the first time, since he came here, but actually this kind of reaction pissed me off even further. What was so funny about my question?

"Calm down, Peter." Jasper warned playfully, probably sensing my shift mood.

_Fuck you, Major. I want answers! Now!_

He grinned at me and I growled in response. But just as fast as mine, his mood changed, and he got very serious. "Okay. I'll tell you. But promise me, that you let me finish before you say anything ... otherwise I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you everything."

I could sense his distress, so I nodded my head once in agreement, waving my hand, indicating that he could start.

Jasper took in an unnecessary breath, and then he began his tale. I listened patiently, restraining myself from making any comments. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The Cullens ... the oh so perfect Cullens had broken the one and only law that existed in our world. Keeping our existence hidden from the humans. Okay, the human involved ... this Bella chick ... apparently had found out the truth by herself, but from what Jasper was telling me, none of the family except him and Rosalie had done or said anything to prevent this from happening. And on top of it all, it had turned out that Bella was Edwards's singer. What a dilemma! This was almost like an episode of one of these stupid soap operas on TV, and I would have laughed if I didn't know it better. This was bad.

When he came to the part of his story, the reason why he'd come here in the first place, Jasper got very still and tense. He blamed himself, of course, and from what I knew about his family, they all blamed him too. Some definitely more than others. But I knew better. Being in a house full of vampires ... even if they claimed to be vegetarian ... was very dangerous. And Bella had known this. I had to admit even without knowing her, I admired her strength and the trust she obviously had in all of them. In my opinion this whole accident ... and it was an accident ... probably could have been prevented, if Edward had allowed Jasper more contact with Bella, so that they could have gotten to know each other and especially that Jasper could have gotten more used to her scent.

But what really pissed me off, was the fact that Alice hadn't seen this coming. When she had been around us, she'd always acted like she was above us all ... better than us ... almost omniscient. Well omniscient my ass, you screwed up, pixie. In more ways than one.

"Well ... that's all. I just ran off." Jasper finished, hanging his head.

"Hmmm. That's quite a tale there, my friend. I'm sorry about all this. It's really screwed up ... but listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once. THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT." I emphasized each word, looking straight into his golden eyes. I could see that it would take more than words to convince him of the truth. Hey, maybe I wasn't even the right person at all, but at least I told him my view on this because he needed to hear it, even if he didn't believe it. He needed to know, that I didn't judge him.

He just shrugged and went into the woods, hunting and probably sulking some more. I shook my head in exasperation, but let him be. I knew this would take some time ... putting him together again ... and I knew that at some point he had to go back to his family to at least face them. I would give him the time he needed, but I was ready to kick him in the butt, if he would take too long.

It took him almost five months, but we finally made our way to Forks.

* * *

Bella POV (The same day Jasper and Peter go to Forks)

Another dawn, another day. I looked at my alarm clock, and sighed. It was only five in the morning, on a Saturday, nonetheless. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gotten a _real_ good-night-sleep. Well, at least the nightmares weren't so bad anymore. Those first two months after HE had left me, had been the worst months in my entire life. I still had problems to think about that time … not only because of HIM, and the throbbing pain in my chest that went with any memory of HIM, but also because of the way I'd acted around Charlie and my friends. My pain had become their pain, and I hated it. I hated myself that I'd made them suffer right along with me.

It had been like I had been there in body, but my mind had just shut down … keeping everything and everyone out, hoping it would be easier this way to deal with my pain. Funny as it may sound, the numbness had been keeping me sane … sort of. I'd walked through the days like a zombie, talking only when it had been unavoidable ... eating only when I'd almost passed out from physical weakness … I had been a total mess. Inside and out.

The day when Renee came down here, had been the day I'd finally woke up. Charlie had been on the end of his ropes, thinking that a change of scenery would help me, making it easier to forget. That day I came home from school, to find both my parents packing up my stuff. At the sight I'd just snapped. I'd screamed, pulling my things right out of their hands, throwing them around my room … Embarrassing … like a four-year-old throwing a hissy fit. But oddly, but it had an appropriate effect on all of us ... I'd finally cracked, cried for two days in a row, and at the end I opened up to Renee at least. I'd talked about what had happened ... of course avoiding the whole part about the Cullens being indeed vampires ... and I'd talked about what I was feeling.

For the first time in my life, Renee actually was the mother and I was the child, and she was comforting me. I had been so grateful. Charlie had kept his distance, being overly emotional just wasn't his thing. But I was sure that Renee had talked to him, before she'd left. When she'd left, she'd stressed that if I would change my mind, I could still come to stay with her and Phil in Jacksonville. I'd thanked her, but declined her offer, telling her it would be foolish to change school again with being so close to graduation and all. Like that was the real reason...

With things going better between Charlie and me, we'd finally settled back into our old lifes ... sort of. I was aware that I couldn't fool Charlie. Sure I was better, but not completely healed, far from it. But I tried hard ... and he gave me space and time.

Now, I could hear Charlie rummaging through the house, probably getting his fishing gear together. Like so many times in the past, he'd planned to go out fishing for the whole weekend with Billy and Harry. I was glad he had this to take his mind of things ... his mind of _me_ and _my_ problems. And I had my own plans for today, anyway.

I got out of the bed, and grabbed some sweatpants, a shirt and my toiletries, and made my way to the little bathroom down the hall between my bedroom and Charlie's. After showering and brushing my teeth, I made my way downstairs into the kitchen to join Charlie for breakfast.

"Good morning, Bells. You're up early. I didn't wake you, did I?" Charlie asked, concerned and slightly embarrassed.

"Good morning, Dad. No you didn't wake me. Just couldn't sleep anymore." I replied, a little grumpily. I just wasn't a morning person, and to be honest I was still a little tired. I pulled myself a cup of coffee and a granola bar, and sat down at the table.

"What are your plans for today? You know … I could stay here if you want me to." He still wasn't sure if I was really okay. Hell, even I didn't know, but I was mending, slowly but surely …

"No way, Dad. You've planned this trip for weeks. Billy and Harry will be mad, if you'd cancel on them at the last minute. Go, have fun. And bring home some fish for me to cook." I encouraged him, smiling. I hoped it was a convincing smile, because I needed him out of the house, not asking questions about my whereabouts. "I'll just hang around at house, doing some laundry, maybe driving to the library ..."

"Alright, kiddo. I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun." He said, getting up and putting the dirty dishes into the sink. Without another word he made his way outside.

"Bye, Dad." I called after him. I let out a deep breath of relief, when I heard him driving away. I hated lying to him, but this time I deemed it necessary. Charlie would most certainly not approve off my plan ... my plan to visit the Cullen house one last time.

* * *

It was early in the afternoon, and I was driving down the familiar road towards THEIR house, getting more anxious with by the minute.

_This is a bad idea. No, you need to do this, no chickening out now. Right, right … Great now I'm arguing with myself. I'm a true nut job. No, you're not. This is a necessary step forward … saying your last goodbye … even if THEY hadn't had the decency to do that. You do. Right. I'm not a coward. I can do this. I need to do this. One final glance at the house … that's all …_

I kept up with the inner pep talk for the rest of the way, and oddly it seemed to help me to keep it together. I had to slow down a bit at the last curve of the unpaved road leading to the house. I was concentrating hard on the road that I was almost at the house before I noticed the other truck packed in front. My first reaction was shock. I nearly slammed my foot down the brakes, before I remembered that none of THEM used to own a car like that … a similar car like mine, only a newer model.

I took in a deep breath, trying to stop my hands from shaking. I wasn't ready to deal with such a surprise.

_It's not HIM or any of the OTHERS._ I told myself, sternly._ But who else can it be, then?_

I parked my truck behind the other vehicle, shut of the engine and got out. When I got close enough to the entrance, I gasped. The front door hung slightly off its hinges.

_Oh, my god! Burglars. Shall I call Charlie? Damn it, I forgot my fucking cell phone. Quick, think of something …_

Before I could make up my mind, a tall figure appeared in the door frame. Unconsciously, I moved closer. When our eyes met, I finally recognized the person who stood not even ten feet from me on the front porch. My heart missed a beat, my breath got caught …

_Jasper._

**A/N So, I hope I shed some light on the events during Jasper's time with Peter and Charlotte. As well as on Peter's gift ... well at least on one of them ... please review.**

13


	4. Nothing ventured, nothing gained

**A/N Thanks again for all the reviews, I really appreciate them.**

**I know some of you are quite confused and disappointed about me not explaining the reason why Peter and Charlotte are so irritated with Alice. I left out the details, but rest assured all the facts will be revealed in the story at some point. As the saying goes ... all in good time. Just stick with me ...**

**Enjoy!!!**

__________________

Chapter 4 Nothing ventured, nothing gained

_Previously_

_Suddenly Peter's head snapped up. "Someone is coming." He hissed._

_I could hear the sound of a truck, slowly coming closer to the house. It was a familiar sound. I knew this car. And I knew who would be riding it._

* * *

Jasper POV

_Bella._ I mentally groaned, my shoulders slumping almost like in defeat.

The only thing I'd been preparing myself for … more or less thoroughly though … was the task about the dealing with the members of my family and their likely reactions to my return. I had barely enough time yet to come to terms with the fact that THEY had left. And naturally I had not expected anybody else coming to this place while I was here. Nobody ever did. No humans, anyway. They had always avoided us. For good reasons. Except for Bella.

I'd gone through all the possibilities I could imagine … how _my family_ would react to my sudden return, but I hadn't given it much thought what I would do or say if I would cross path with _Bella_ again. I guess part of me already accepted the fact that I would never see her again, because I was pretty damn sure no one of my so called family would have allowed me approaching her ever again. A wise decision in my opinion. But there was also this nagging thought … Why should I even care? I barely knew her. She meant nothing to _me_. She was just a human ... a human that had dared to interrupt the peace of my family ... a human that was responsible for my leaving ... and the resulting consequences. In other words: a menace.

No, of course _Bella_ wasn't the guilty party here. How could I even think that about someone as selfless and loving as Bella? I might not know much about her, but whenever she'd been in my vicinity in the past all I'd sensedwas the endless capacity of her love and trust in each and every one of us. And how had I repaid that trust? I'd betrayed her in the most malicious way there was.

_I_ was the monster. _I_ hadn't been able to control myself. _I_ had tried to kill her. It was all _my_ fault.

Through all my inner musing, I'd hardly noticed that Peter was already on the move, on his way downstairs. Whatever Bella was doing here, I didn't want her to be alarmed or something … not intentionally at least … by neither one of us. Sure, I knew that Peter wouldn't do anything … like hurting her, but she would probably be frightened by meeting a strange vampire ... a strange vampire with red eyes. From her previous encounter with James and his coven she would have a hard time even considering the possibility that there were indeed other vampires … human-blood-drinkers for that matter … that not necessarily imposed a threat to her … but she wouldn't understand … not until I had a chance to explain, make her see reason. If she would let me … if she was staying at all … after seeing me … that was …

_Like seeing me first would reassure her, that she isn't in any danger. Ha. Like that's likely. Maybe … one glance at me and she'll turn around right away and run for her life. I could live with that …_

But nevertheless, I knew that I had to stop Peter. I quickly followed him out of my old room, and caught up with him at top of the staircase. I laid a hand on his arm, thus stopping him in his tracks. "I know who that is." I said to him, reassuring him by sending him calming waves.

Peter gave me a quizzical look, but then a knowing smile began to spread over his face. "Oh. I see. It's her, isn't it?"

"Yes ... it's Bella." I confirmed, fighting the urge to roll my eyes at him. I'd barely ever talked about her in the past five months, but apparently the chance to meet _the_ human responsible for all this mess, had triggered his curiosity once again. I could sense his unadulterated excitement. Great, just what I needed.

"Well ... what are you waiting for?" He asked, impatiently, enjoying this awkward situation far too much for my liking. "Aren't you going to say hello?" I hated this pushing attitude of his.

"Seems like I don't have another choice ..." I responded, my annoyance was palpable in my voice and my facial expression. I got the feeling that Peter was hoping to influence me with his anticipation, but I was too wrapped up in my own emotions of nervousness and uncertainty for it to have any effect on me this time.

"You aren't afraid of her, are you, Major?" He raised his eyebrows in question.

"Of course, not. She's just a human." I snorted, knowing he was just teasing.

"That's not what I meant. You are scared to face her." He stated the obvious, all humor gone, replaced by true concern and pity. I appreciated his sympathy more than his taunting, but I couldn't feed of it. I was too damn tense, and just a breath away from losing it.

"No, I'm not." I snapped, though knowing he would see right through me again. Damn it.

"Liar." He countered, calmly, not oblivious to my intensifying irritation but just deciding to ignore it. Maybe it was better this way …

"Fuck you, Peter. Okay … I admit it … I'm a little concerned about facing her. What am I supposed to say? 'Sorry, Bella, for trying to kill you … I didn't mean it. Please forgive me.' Like that would work. And be honest, why should she forgive me? I'd tried to KILL her." I almost yelled, my despair seeping through.

"Well … you might be surprised …" Peter said, lost in his own thoughts. Whatever was going through his mind, I knew it wouldn't do me any good to ask, because he probably wouldn't share his knowledge with me anyway. What a fine friend he was …

"Yeah, yeah … whatever. Besides, like I said apparently I don't have another choice." I said, finally accepting the inevitable. "But I think it will be better if I go out alone at first … I'm not sure how she will react to you."_ Probably the same way she will be reacting to me …_ I added in my mind.

"Alright. Sure you can handle it?" He mocked me, with a huge grin on his face, receiving only a hostile glare from me as an answer to his insulting question. And honestly, I had no answer to that question. Could I really go out and face her? Without attacking her again?

_One way to find out_, I thought, feeling bad testing that theory on Bella. My only comfort was that Peter would be able to stop me if I couldn't behave myself. Hopefully …

I ignored Peter's silent laughter, and made my way downstairs. He followed me, but I knew he would heed my word and would stay out of sight for the time being. I could hear Bella's truck coming to a halt, the door of the driver's side opening and closing, and then light footsteps. By that time I was at the entrance door.

Why the fuck had she'd chosen exactly this particular day to come here? Or did she come here on a regular basis? I doubted that. Maybe it was fate, and Peter always told me, you'd never be able to elude it … not forever. It would catch up with you eventually. But I was convinced it was just my damn bad luck. Like coming here to encounter that my family had cut all ties with me by leaving without telling me wasn't enough …no … in addition to that now I had to deal with the one person who'd started all this mess in the first place … unintentionally though.

I felt my anger rising again, and I reminded myself that I had to keep my emotions in check. My rage would show in my eyes … and if I thought meeting a red-eyed vampire would be a bad idea, a black-eyed one would probably be even worse. At least the golden color of my eyes would reassure her that I still tried to stick to the Cullen way, if nothing else …

But maybe it would be better for both of us for her to be scared of me, thus forcing her to leave at once … No, no … I wouldn't do that on purpose. _Not after_ … I stopped that thought right in its tracks, shaking my head in order to clear my mind of this awful memory. At least for now … because I would never forget …

And how would I explain that to Peter? Even with him being out of sight he still was well within hearing range. He would kick my ass, if I deliberately screwed this up … and I owed Bella an apology, even if I didn't deserve her forgiveness …

_Oh, well … than let's get it over with … the sooner the better …_

I took one last cautious step through the open front door onto the porch. I could see her and smell her. Fortunately, this little reunion of ours took place outside … I wasn't sure if I could handle being in a small room … so close to her, her scent … and …

_Stop it right there, buddy. Concentrate! You are not going to do the same mistake twice …_

As a precaution I stopped breathing altogether. Instead I was solely concentrating on reading her emotions. It was odd, but Bella's emotions were overlapping… so many at once … shock, concern, anger, curiosity, fear, confusion … she was shifting through all them to quickly to pinpoint her actual emotional state towards my presence. I could make out the worried frown on her face as she was ascertaining the situation, her eyes wandering from Peter's truck over to the house. I was sure that she could see me standing here … but there was no recognition, not yet. Apparently Bella couldn't see me as clearly as I could see her.

_Vampire versus human senses_.I reminded myself.

I took one final step out of the shadows, keeping my eyes locked on hers the whole time, carefully monitoring her emotions and reactions.

Bella took one last watchful step forward herself, and then she froze. Her heartbeat skidded, and she was holding her breath, her eyes widening. Was it fear? Or just shock? I wasn't sure. And there was also a faint glimmer of hope. What the hell was that supposed to mean? I was truly confused. I couldn't make head or tails out of Bella's emotions. For a few silent seconds we just stood there looking at each other.

I wasn't certain, if I should say something, so I decided to just give her what I was hoping was a reassuring smile thus telling her that I meant her no harm. I was sure looked like an idiot … hell I was feeling like one too.

"Jas..Jasper?" Bella stuttered, apparently not sure yet whether or not to believe her eyesight. I only nodded in answer.

I thought of a nice opening line, but came up with nothing. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, it hit me. Why in the hell is _Bella_ still here, when HE is gone? That made no sense to me at all. Did they break up? But why? I knew HE loved her, and she loved him. But before I could voice any of my questions, I sensed a sudden change in Bella's emotional state. When there had been mainly shock and curiosity only seconds ago, now the only emotion I got from her was anger … pure, unadulterated anger. The force of it almost brought me to my knees. I couldn't remember the last time I'd experienced that amount of anger being directed at me. It put the feelings of hate Edward had thrown at me at her birthday party to shame. I'd never encountered a human with the capacity of feeling anything like that … not to that extent. I was totally stunned, frozen in shock.

Maybe that was why her next action took me … a vampire for God's sake … totally off guard. Bella swiftly closed the remaining distance between us, throwing herself at me. For a fracture of a second I thought she was going to hug me … but considering her still growing anger, I wasn't surprised that she didn't. Instead, she began to hit my chest with her tiny, fragile fists … over and over again.

I knew she couldn't hurt me, but I was concerned that she was going to hurt herself by her stupid act. Oddly, it didn't even matter that she was suddenly that close to me. I was way too occupied to understand her behavior. I tried to send her calming waves, but they didn't seem to affect her … like her anger was blocking my power. I stood still, allowing her to use me as a punching ball. Hell, I knew I deserved it. Right there I was wishing I could actually feel the physical pain, but then her next words cut me deeper than any knife could have … if it were possible to hurt me physically that way.

"I hate you." She cried, still beating at my chest, but her motions became weaker. Bella began to cry, her whole body shacking under the force.

"Bella, I'm so sorry …" I whispered into her hair, trying to soothe her with words. I sounded pathetic, but I didn't know what else to do. She stopped her physical attack, sacking against my chest, and I automatically pulled my arms around her, holding her close to me. I could feel it. Bella was in so much pain, too much for her tiny, fragile, human body. Between her sobs, I could only make out single words. _Why … left … alone … gone … hate … why …_

But then all of a sudden, I couldn't sense anything from Bella anymore. Of course, she was still breathing, her heart was still beating … but I had no excess to her emotions anymore. She went limp in my arms, and finally her legs gave out. Oh my God! She had lost consciousness. We both sank to the ground. If I hadn't been so overwhelmed by the sudden void of emotions, I easily could have held us both up. But first the intensity of her emotions and then the total lack … it wasn't something I had been ready for.

I sat on the ground holding her in my arms. I could hear Peter coming close. "Let's get her inside, on the couch." His voice spoke volumes. Of course, he'd heard everything, and surely had watched. He was mad. But he also was radiating a great amount of concern and sorrow, and somehow I was positive it was meant for both of us. I still couldn't speak, so I just nodded in agreement.

I swiftly got up, pulling Bella into my arms, and carried her in bridal style into the house. I laid her gently on the white couch, and covered her body with the white covering cloth. I sat down on the edge, not able to take my eyes off of her. She still looked the same … brown hair, pale skin, nice body … _Wow where did that come from? Well it was true …_ I pushed those inadequate thoughts aside … for now. Sure, Bella hadn't changed a lot. To the human eye perhaps. But I could see the little differences. She had lost some weight, and there were dark shadows underneath her eyes. Was she eating enough? Did she not sleep well? What have I done to this girl?

But just then Peter interrupted my observation. "What the hell just happened out there?"

"I dunno …" I mumbled, not sure what to say. "I guess she'd been keeping all the anger and pain about what happened that day bottled up inside of her … and seeing me must have triggered the release somehow." I felt so bad about forcing her to relive that day again.

"Hmm … I'm not so sure." Peter mused.

I snapped my head up, glaring at him in astonishment. "What do you mean? Didn't you hear her? She hates me. And she has every right to feel that way …" I seethed, my anger spiking again.

"Yes, I've heard and seen the whole thing." Peter replied evenly. "You need to calm down, Jasper. You are affecting her."

I followed Peter's gaze, and he was right. Bella's breathing had become erratic, and there was a frown on her face. But she was still out. Damn it. I took in an unnecessary breath, thus calming myself. I was glad to see, that Bella seemed to relax as well. Good. I turned back to Peter.

"Please, explain." I demanded as nicely as possible.

Peter sat down on a nearby chair. "As I was saying … I'm not so sure that all her anger and hate was directed at you. Hell, you both haven't even had a chance to talk yet. Really talk, I mean. You make assumptions without having all the facts, my friend. True, she might really hate you, and you might think that you deserve that. But from what I know about sleeping beauty over there," he nodded towards Bella,"she will let you explain and apologize. You'll both get the answers you seek. Just try to be civil and patient." Peter smirked at me.

I had to give to him. He sure was a man with words. And always more perceptive than me. I might be an empath, but sometimes the finer details just eluded me. And he was right. What did I know? Nothing. Maybe she only hated me. But maybe there was more to her immense feeling of resentment. After all, the whole Cullen coven had abandoned her. At least we had that one thing in common.

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**A/N Good or bad? Next chapter will be the first _real_ talk between Bella and Jasper. How will Jasper react when he finds out the truth? Will Bella forgive him for everything? Please review ... and I'm also open to suggestions about what you'll think should happen next.**

**And I wish all of you a Merry Christmas, lots of snow, lots of presents, lots of good food ... You'll get the point.**

**Next update hopefully after the holidays.**


	5. Not what I'd expected

**A/N Thanks for all the reviews … I am really glad that you like my different approach. Well, I had to think of something new, hadn't I … considering there are so many great Jasper/Bella stories out there already.**

**In this chapter some questions will be answered … for Bella as well as Jasper. Rest assured it will be a bumpy and very emotional ride for both of them … but thank God, Peter is there to pick up the pieces … ;-)**

**This is a split POV chapter again … giving some more insight into Bella's mind as well as Peter's.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Chapter 5 Not what I'd expected

Jasper POV

_Just try to be civil and patient. Great advice there, Peter! Easy for you to say, you are not an empath … you aren't the one responsible for ruining this poor girl's life … Ahh, grap. Stop whining, Major! Get a grip. You have to keep it together … If not for yourself, at least for Bella …_

I knew I had to keep my own emotions in check in order to accomplish this goal. But only remembering how Bella had reacted earlier … the sudden intensity of her emotions … I couldn't suppress a shudder running down my spine. Of course, her physical strength was nothing compared to mine, but the undiluted force of her emotions alone had the power to incapacitate me. This just wasn't something I had been prepared for … not now … not ever. Under different circumstances I would be impressed, but not so much right now. As hard as it was but I had to admit it … if only to myself.

_For the first time in a very, very long time I am scared … scared of a mere human. Hmm … Life is funny …_

Again I let my eyes wander over Bella's unconscious body. She was tiny compared to me, but of average height for a girl her age, I guessed. She almost looked peaceful, laying there on the couch, like she was actually asleep. But I knew that she wasn't. Even though I had never been to medical school like Carlisle and Edward, I'd read a lot of medical books over the years, to know for sure that Bella was indeed unconscious. And because I could hear her steady heartbeat … and I could see her chest heaving regularly with every breath … I assumed she was okay-_ish_. The only thing that had me worried was the total lack of emotions. It felt like she wasn't really there. Like an empty shell … I had never met anybody who was able to shield himself from my gift completely. Sure, Peter was capable to conceal his emotions to some extent, but never entirely. With time I'd learned to appreciate this weird ability of his, because in situations like these it was helpful to have someone around making it easier for me to keep my own emotions in check.

_Maybe that had something to do with her ability to protect herself from Edward's gift …_I mused.

In my peripheral vision I could see Peter getting up. I turned to face him. "Where are you going?" I asked him, rather harshly.

"No need for you to panic, bro … I'm not leaving. I'm just going to see if _they_ had left something to drink for your _friend_." He chuckled, making his way straight into the kitchen.

I heard him laugh lightly. It actually was funny to have a kitchen at all in a house owned by vampires … considering that we never dinned inside, but in order to live around humans we had to put up with some necessary charades. That meant … even though we had no use for it … every house the Cullens owned had fully functional bathrooms and fully furnished kitchens. What a waste of space … Although, it had come in handy once Bella had stumbled into our lives. I could recall all those times Esme had cooked dinner for Bella in that kitchen, sometimes they even had cooked together. Oddly, they both had seemed to enjoy this activity very much …

_Happier times … _I sighed mentally. Then it hit me. _Has Peter just called Bella my friend? … That's just hilarious …_

I was pretty certain I'd blown that chance a long time ago. True, we never really had the opportunity to get to know each other and build some kind of relationship … even before the dreadful incident on her last birthday. To be fair, it hasn't been all due to Edwards's interference, though. I'd agreed with him … it was the best decision at the time … keeping my distance, considering I was indeed the weakest link of the family. But then again, it wasn't like I hadn't had _any_ interest in getting to know Bella better, especially when she'd meant so much to Alice. It had made me a little curious how a mere human girl of barely eighteen years had enthralled my wife so completely … well not only her but the entire family … apart from Rosalie maybe. But even my dear sister hadn't been totally immune to Bella's charm, although she'd kept it well hidden …

But despite my honest interest in the human girl I'd always put Bella's safety first … better safe than sorry, right? Even when we had been hiding out in that small hotel room in Phoenix for days … the first time we had been alone … well without Edward hovering over her to be precise … I hadn't taken the chance to get to know her better, because all I had been able to think about was keeping Bella safe from James … and instinctively even safe from myself.

'You're worth it', I'd told her once and I'd truly meant it. She hadn't known what kind of impact she'd made on the entire family … she'd unknowingly gave each one of us some piece of humanity back … Bella was an angel, so innocent and pure … and I'd had to blew it, by letting my monster take control of me …

_Well, what's done is done. Now I have the chance to apologize and …_

I heard Peter rummaging through the kitchen cupboards, on his ridiculous mission to find something edible for Bella. Just as I thought he would come back empty handed, I heard and felt his victory. "Yeah … I knew it." His childlike excitement even brought a smile to my face.

He stood in the kitchen entry, holding a bottle of water in his right hand, grinning at me. "I think they forget to clean out the kitchen properly … there are even some bags of crackers left … In case Bella is hungry, when she wakes up." He joked.

Right on the cue, I felt a change in the atmosphere. A new set of emotions found its way into my consciousness. Bella was finally coming around. I snapped my head around, and turned my full attention back to the girl, concentrating on her emotions, while working hard on remaining calm myself. Peter kept his position, out of Bella's line of sight for the moment. He was radiating nothing but peace and serenity, allowing me to feed of it.

"Thank you." I whispered low enough for only him to hear, sending my gratitude along with my words.

"You're most welcome, brother." Peter replied, sounding almost detached but I knew that he wasn't. Underneath his composed attitude I could feel his curiosity … but also a small amount of apprehension. I guessed he was worried for both of us … Bella and me.

Bella's lids fluttered and a slight moan escaped her lips, before she slowly opened her eyes. She blinked twice, and then her brown eyes met my golden ones. A tiny, almost undetectable smile was playing around her mouth. This was a strange reaction. Bella was feeling … _happy_?

_What the fuck?_

This emotion didn't make any sense … not after what just happened outside. Why in the hell would Bella be happy to see me _now_? Only minutes ago she had told me that she hated me. And I'd believed her and didn't begrudge her for feeling this way. It was her prerogative … after what I had done. Now I was utterly confused … but with some effort I pushed my own feelings aside in order to keep my focus on Bella's.

"Jasper," she croaked.

I didn't respond in any way. I just watched her in silence as she propped herself up on her tiny elbows, pushing the white cloth I'd laid on her body out of the way, and taking a wary look around. While she took in the state of the room, her emotions shifted again. A slight frown appeared on her face, and then a wave of sadness hit me. This emotion I could understand. Seeing the Cullen house this empty, this lifeless (no pun intended) was disturbing … on so many levels. At least that answered one of my earlier questions. She hadn't been here since THEY had left otherwise this wouldn't have such a strong effect on her now.

Bella wasn't saying anything else, but I could see that she was silently struggling to keep it together. Whatever was going through her head was driving her mind slowly but steadily into overdrive. Her heartbeat sped up, and her breathing became unsteady. She was having a panic attack …

* * *

Bella POV

There was blackness, nothing but blackness. I could feel absolutely … nothing. It wasn't unpleasant … not at all … almost peaceful … but nevertheless it felt somehow _wrong_. As much as I enjoyed this peculiar state I knew that eventually I would have to return and face reality. Just then I felt something tugging at my mind … telling me it was time to wake up.

Slowly, almost carefully I made my way out of the void. I could feel softness underneath me … not the hard soil I'd expected to find. Hadn't I just been outside of the Cullen mansion? What the …?

When I opened my eyes I stared right into the most beautiful eyes I'd seen in months … the familiar color of gold, so warm and comforting. I was home …

"Jasper," I breathed. My voice sounded hoarse, like I'd been asleep for hours. I was confused. How long had I been out? I propped up on my elbows, pushing the white cloth away and took a cautious but curious look around. I could make out the familiar shape of a room … the Cullen's living room. But something was different. It was so empty … and cold. Abandoned … like me. Sadness began to spread through me. But then I remembered Jasper's gift.

_Empath … Damn it. Get a grip, girl! Don't even go there …he doesn't need to feel your pain … _I scolded myself._ I won't do the same thing to him I'd done to my family and friends. I am not that person anymore … Just breathe, and stay calm. Just breathe, and stay calm. There is nothing to be nervous about, it's just Jasper. Just Jasper … But what if he isn't here on his own. What if all the others are here too? Even HIM? No, please … tell me HE isn't. I cannot handle this … I'm not ready …_

My head was spinning … and I realized that despite my earlier efforts to remain calm I was working myself right into a full blown panic attack. But all of a sudden I felt powerful waves of calm and peace washing over me, and they were slowing down my uneven breathing and erratic heartbeat back to a healthy pace, thus helping me to relax. I took in a deep breath of relief and smiled at Jasper. I knew that it had been him … Jasper had been manipulating my emotions with his incredible gift. Right this moment I was extremely grateful that he was here, even if I didn't have all the information … yet, I truly appreciated his help.

"Thank you, Jasper." I murmured almost inaudibly, knowing he would be able to hear it nevertheless. Vampire hearing. I moved my body into a sitting position, facing Jasper again. There was a confused expression on his beautiful face, which made me wonder.

But before I could voice any question at all, my eyes drifted over Jasper's shoulder, and I could see a man standing like a statue in the entryway to the kitchen. I tensed for a second, because I was surprised to find out that Jasper was indeed not alone here. I didn't recognize this person, but even with my limited human eyesight I could see that this man was indeed another vampire. He was almost as tall as Jasper but more built like Emmett. Brown locks framed his beautiful face and his eyes were fixed on mine …

His eyes were not the same color of gold I'd come so accustomed to. They were blood red.

_Oh … That's definitely different. But what's that supposed to mean?_ I wondered, keeping my brown eyes locked with the stranger's. Oddly, I was more confused than frightened which didn't surprise me much. _Who hangs around vampires on a regular basis and on their own free will? Only crazy people like me …_

This strange vampire smiled at me in an odd but reassuring sort of way, like he was trying to tell me without words that he meant me no harm.

_Well, he hasn't attacked me yet, right?_ My answering smile was small and timid. But then I remembered James and his coven … and all the resulting mess … but he seemed to be different. But could I trust him?

A low, but menacing growl broke the spell between us. And the stranger's head snapped up, and a frown replaced his former smile. He still looked otherworldly beautiful … Damn vampires.

"Bella." Jasper called my name in a low but demanding voice. I diverted my focus back to Jasper.

"What's going on?" I asked, confused and slightly annoyed. There was something in Jasper's voice that just made me mad. He'd just sounded like a father scolding his child … for misbehaving or something. I didn't get it. What have _I_ done?

Unexpectedly, Jasper's beautiful face turned into a grimace. I was taken aback. All I could say that I didn't like this look on his face … it wasn't scary but … he looked like he was actually in pain.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I asked again, worried. Had I said or did something wrong?

"Yeah, Jasper. What's wrong?" The other vampire spoke for the first time. His voice was deep, but some sort of musical too … just like all the voices of the others of his kind I'd met. But the most interesting fact was that he just sounding exactly like I felt. Not threatening at all only annoyed. "Quit being such a jerk and answer the lady's question." I sniggered. No one had ever called me a lady. And I could have sworn that he winked at me … what was this guy up to?

Jasper's response shocked me again. He groaned … in exasperation? What the hell was his problem? I couldn't make heads or tails of Jasper's behavior. In fact he was starting to piss me off. If he'd thought meeting this strange friend of his was a bad idea, why in fuck had he brought me in here in the first place?

Apparently, the other vampire had enough of Jasper's behavior as well and took things into his own hands. I watched him with interest as he made his way over towards the couch, walking very slowly … like he was testing my reaction. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Jasper was clenching and unclenching his fists. He was tense, very tense. But he didn't make a move to stop his friend nor did he say anything. So I decided to just ignore him.

When the other vampire was right in front of me, he stopped and held out his right hand. "Hi, I'm Peter."

I smiled up at him, and laid my hand into his. The cold of his skin didn't bother me, because it was no new experience for me, but I still felt a slight tingle running down my spine. "Nice to meet you, Peter. I'm Bella."

I was expecting him to just shake my hand, but instead he bent his head very slowly, his eyes were never leaving mine the whole time, and then he placed a gentle, sort of chivalrous kiss on the backside of my hand. My heartbeat sped up again … not out of fear … but because this kind of old-fashioned manner had completely taken me off guard …

* * *

Peter POV

I'd watched the interaction between Jasper and Bella in silence for a while … but I finally had enough. I knew the human girl wasn't afraid of neither one of us because I would have been able to smell her fear even a mile away. I had to give to her. For being indeed just a mere human she sure didn't react as one of her kind at all. Bella was brave, and frank … actually nothing like the person I'd expected to find after what Jasper had told me about her. But maybe she just had no sense of self-preservation whatsoever … But even so I could already tell that I liked Bella.

"What's going on?" I heard Bella asking Jasper, her tone of voice was matching my own feelings. She was annoyed by his behavior and so was I.

_What is your problem, dude? Just talk to her …_

From my position I couldn't see Jasper's face, but I could tell from his attitude and posture that he was mostly confused and somehow disappointed by the situation. But why? Didn't he like Bella's poised reaction to my presence or was he thinking that I would snap at any moment? Like that was ever going to happen. Sure Bella smelled nice, but that was it. To me she smelled like every other human, not overly tempting just nice. And right this moment I wasn't hungry. Even if … now that I've met this incredible girl, I knew that I would never hurt her. I felt drawn to her in a way that was simply inexplicable. She made me curious …

In my opinion the only reason that the Cullens had such a tough time being in her presence was due to their forced abstinence from their natural food source. As honorable is their choice might be, it was a stupid step to choose to live among their former prey. Nobody would be strong enough to withstand the temptation forever … we were predators after all.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" Bella asked. Jasper's facial expressions had gotten her worried. That was it. I had enough of his game …

"Yeah, Jasper. What's wrong?" I repeated Bella's question, because it was obvious to me that he needed some intervention. I let him know through my emotions that I was okay, and that she was in no danger whatsoever. At least not from me, that was. "Quit being such a jerk and answer the lady's question."

I was a little stunned to hear Bella snigger at my request, but couldn't help myself, so I winked at her. I chose to use her amusement to make my point. Jasper needed to pull his head out of his ass and man up. Apparently our combined humor didn't have the desired effect. I heard Jasper groan in exasperation.

_Oh come on man, get a grip …_

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. If he was going to act like an asshole … so be it. I had been raised to be a gentleman who knew how to behave himself in the company of a lady. I cautiously but deliberately made my way over to the couch, ignoring Jasper's warning growl. Bella watched me intently, her eyes never leaving mine. There was not even a hint of fear in them only curiosity. That was a good sign, and I knew that I could use that reaction to my advantage, because Jasper would feel it, too.

I stopped right in front of the human girl and held my hand out. "Hi, I'm Peter."

Her answering smile was dazzling, and without any further delay she laid her hand into mine. I detected a small shiver, but I knew it was only due to the difference in our body temperatures. "Nice to meet you, Peter. I'm Bella." She introduced herself, very politely.

At first, I thought I should just shake her hand, but then inspiration hit me. It was a stupid move, and I knew it. But I wanted to push Jasper … just a little further … forcing some kind of reaction out of him … to pull him out of this trance so to speak. And I was from Texas, after all. I bent my head very slowly … keeping my eyes fixed on Bella's brown orbs and then I laid a very soft kiss on her hand.

"The pleasure is all mine," I said, grinning at her.

Bella was just going to reply something, when I first felt a tidal wave of hatred hit me, and then I was flying through the room, hitting the wall at the far end with such a force, that the material cracked under the force of the impact. I heard a loud snarl coming from Jasper, and a shriek of terror from Bella. I slowly stood up, but didn't move forward. Jasper was crouched in a defensive position before Bella, who had left her sitting position on the couch. She stared at me in horror.

I hold my hands up in surrender, thus showing Jasper that I wasn't going to do anything to upset him more. He was in full Major-mode and it would be foolish of me to antagonize him further. He would shred me into pieces. But Bella didn't seem to be aware of the danger. She stepped around Jasper and glared at him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Jasper? Peter wasn't going to hurt me." Bella yelled at Jasper. She was shaking with anger … and fear. This wasn't good.

"Bella … how can you be sure of that? You don't even know this guy." He snapped back, not leaving his crouched position. I could tell that he was very close to lose his control. I tried to send him some calm, but he was once again too wrapped up in his own feelings. I could see that it had no effect on him whatsoever. He was feeding of Bella's anger and fear.

_Crap … this is going to end bad if I don't do something … fast …_

"That may be so … but I know _you_. I trust you. I know that you wouldn't put me in danger … not on purpose." Bella replied, still angry but more composed. But she clearly overestimated his self-control.

"That's hilarious, Bella." He sneered. "You trust me? Really? How can you be so stupid, Bella? I cannot trust me … I am the one who had tried to kill you , remember?"

No physical blow could have hurt Bella more than those menacing words that had just come out of Jasper's mouth. I knew that he didn't mean to hurt her … that he was just trying to make his point … a serious point, for sure. She was far too trusting for her own good. But nevertheless I wished he'd chosen a different path to tell her that. Pain was now the dominant expression on her beautiful face, and tears were beginning to run down her cheeks. I could tell that her reaction had some effect on Jasper. He slowly backed away from her, finally leaving his protective crouch. They both stood silent facing each other, both shaking with grief …

I saw my chance to intervene, and I quickly moved forward, pulling Bella behind my back, to shield her. Jasper didn't try to attack me this time.

"Go, Jasper. Go hunt. You need to calm down." I snarled at him. His eyes were wide with the shock of realization of what he had just done. I could see his remorse, hell, I could even sense it. But now was not the time for apologies. "Go now. She'll be fine." I added more softly, but firmly.

After a last short glance at me and Bella, Jasper whirled around and left the house through the backdoor.

I turned around, and pulled Bella in my arms, holding her in a tight embrace. She sobbed loudly into my chest, allowing me to comfort her. "Shhh, Bella. Everything will be okay. I'll promise. He will be back."

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**A/N Oh, Jasper, you fool. What have you done? Will he come back and face Bella's grief and Peter's wrath? Stay tuned and find out. Reviews are highly appreciated … but not requested. ;-)**


	6. The truth, nothing but the truth

**A/N Thanks for all those who read and reviewed the last chapter(s). I am so glad you like it. And a special thank you to all the new readers who put my story on alert … *smiles* … the more the merrier.**

**This chapter is a split POV again between my two favorite characters - Peter and Jasper.**

**I am truly disappointed to say that I don't own any of the characters *sniff* but I most certainly like to play with them and thus shaping them like I see them *grin*.**

**Enough babble … on with the show.**

**Enjoy!!!**

* * *

_Previously …_

_After a last short glance at me and Bella, Jasper whirled around and left the house through the backdoor._

_I turned around, and pulled Bella in my arms, holding her in a tight embrace. She sobbed loudly into my chest, allowing me to comfort her. "Shhh, Bella. Everything will be okay. I'll promise. He will be back."_

* * *

Chapter 6 The truth, nothing but the truth

Peter POV

I didn't know how long we stood there … holding each other tightly, calming and comforting each other … without words but only with just this simple touch. It wasn't unfamiliar to me … this human way to show affection and give comfort to another person … I'd held my lovely mate Charlotte like this a thousand times … but still … this was somehow different because it was the first time since I'd become a vampire all those decades ago that I held a human woman in my arms who wasn't supposed to be my next meal.

Strange as it was, it felt right … and so good. But eventually the warmth of Bella's body was starting to affect me … and not in a good way. I carefully entangled myself from her, and guided her back to the couch. She obediently sat down, still sobbing and sniffing silently, but she still didn't say a word. I went back to the end of the room, where Jasper had thrown me into to the wall, to pick up the water bottle where it'd slipped out of my hand and fallen down. Then I returned to Bella's side.

"Here," I said, offering her the bottle. She looked at me, with her eyes red and puffy from all the crying, but she still looked like an angel. So innocent … so trusting … so beautiful …

"Thank you." Bella mumbled awkwardly, but accepting the bottle nevertheless. She laid it into her lap, to have her hands free while she was searching in her jeans pockets. Finally she pulled out some tissue and blew her nose. She wiped the remaining tears off with the back of her hand.

"No problem, sugar." I replied, waving my hand dismissively. "There is even some _human_ food … some crackers of sorts … in case you're hungry." I'd hoped a joke would cheer her up a bit, and I was glad to see that I'd apparently succeeded with my silly attempt. A tiny, but sweet smile appeared on her face.

"No, thank you. I am not hungry at the moment." She declined my offer very politely. I didn't believe her because I could hear her stomach growling ever so slightly, but I chose to humor her … for the moment. Apparently her hunger wasn't great enough, or maybe she simply wasn't in the mood to eat, which I could totally understand after what she'd just been through.

Bella opened the bottle, taking a quick swig of water and then she placed the bottle on the table. I took a seat on the chair again, keeping a safe distance between her and me. Of course I wasn't tempted by the scent of her blood, but I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible … under the circumstances. And I wanted to give her room to fully calm down from her previous emotional high … and I needed my own space for doing the same anyway. Vampires with high running emotions weren't always good company for a human (to be honest they never were), and I was determined to keep Bella safe … and alive.

I was still pissed as hell at Jasper for reacting this recklessly, attacking me in the very presence of Bella, and thus putting her in immediate danger. At that precise moment I'd known it wasn't in anyone's best interest to retaliate. After all, it hadn't been Bella's fault that Jasper had lost control. I'd knowingly pushed him over the edge with my forward behavior towards Bella. But then again he knew me best … knew that I wouldn't hurt her … he should have felt it … but somehow he hadn't.

_What a mess! I need to fix it. Just keep your emotions in check for now_, I told myself sternly. _There will be time later for kicking Jasper's ass … and thoroughly. He fucking deserved it! Stupid motherfucker! What has he been thinking?_

Maybe Bella would do some ass kicking herself … the way she had put herself between us before. It was a stupid move to say the least … but hell, that girl had courage, and I liked it. Not afraid to stand up and speak up her mind … even to a crazed vampire.

_Stupid … but brave …_

The more I thought about it the more I realized that I felt actually a little anxious myself in this girl's presence. That was saying much … me – a vampire – being troubled … troubled by a mere human. And Bella was indeed human, that much was obvious. I could hear her steady heartbeat, her even breathing, her blood running through her veins … but somehow I got the impression that she was something more. She was special … that much I could already tell even though we've just met. She was brave, trusting, selfless, kind and curious … maybe too curious for her own good. But the way she had me already enthralled … it was weird, very weird.

But right now was not the time for pondering over this … because I finally realized that Bella was watching me with open interest, and from her demeanor I could tell she was a little nervous, too.

"Shall I take you home?" I offered, politely.

"Why?" Bella asked, sounding upset. She was probably thinking I wanted to get rid of her, which wasn't the case of course. I just wanted to give her a choice, not presuming anything.

"I'm just asking … in case you don't feel comfortable being alone here with me … I mean Jasper had been right. You don't know me. And I'm pretty sure you'd already figured out that I don't abstain from my natural food source like him." I stated the obvious, carefully monitoring Bella's reaction to my crass estimation of the situation. I detected a small shiver (of fear?) running through her body, but she didn't show any sign of distress on her face.

For a moment there it seemed that she was actually considering my offer to take her home, but then she shook her head. "No … I think I should stay here. I have to talk to Jasper." She stated, vehemently, almost stubbornly.

"As you wish, little lady." I replied, casually, but in truth I was very happy about her decision to stay. Not only because I knew those two had indeed a lot to talk about … but maybe even more so because it would give me the opportunity to learn more about this human girl as well. Bella was a mystery begging to be solved. "And I promise I won't bite." I added with a wink, which caused her to giggle again.

_Laugh in the face of death …_ I thought dryly. _No sense of self-perseveration whatsoever …_

We sat in silence for a few minutes, both unsure what to say or do next. I actually welcomed the quiet and peace … it was Bella who broke the silence first.

"Peter?" She called my attention, tentatively.

"Yes, Bella." I answered softly.

"He will be back, though?" Bella looked straight at me, her eyes were pleading. I didn't need to be an empath to sense her despair and doubt. Her emotions were plain in her voice, and on her face. Right this moment she looked so vulnerable, so hurt, that it seemed like she would start crying again. I couldn't have that …

"Yes, he will." I reassured her quickly, and honestly. "Jasper just needs some time and space to calm down … that's all."

"Okay." She sighed in relief. But I could still see that she – just like Jasper – was dealing with abandonment issues. Hers weren't new though, and although she was trying very hard to repress them, she wasn't able to hide them completely. Not from someone as perceptive as me …

What had this so called family done … done to _both_ of them? First inviting both of them with open arms … _pretending_ to offer them hope, love and a possible future among them … and then when things had tended to go rough, dropping them like … like worthless garbage. Of course, I loathed them for doing that to Jasper. He was my brother and my friend, and I felt very protective of him. But discovering that they'd had the audacity to do the same to this lovely, innocent girl sitting right in front of me that very moment … it just made me want to tear each and every one of them into tiny little pieces and burn them. Of course I didn't know for sure what had made them leave Bella behind when they'd left … but I had a pretty good guess. They'd probably thought of her as a liability … just like Jasper.

_They both are anything but a liability_, I huffed internally. I took in an unnecessary breath, to keep my emotions under control …

* * *

_Meanwhile …elsewhere …_

Jasper POV

"Go, Jasper. Go hunt. You need to calm down." Peter had barked at me. I'd stared at him in sheer astonishment, finally realizing what I'd just done. He had been calm, very calm, thus allowing me to feed of his feelings. But it hadn't been enough though … Bella's emotions still had been out of control. They hadn't made sense … neither had her reactions …

"Go now. She'll be fine." Peter had promised, emphasizing his request for my immediate departure more softly, yet firmly. Of course, I'd wanted to apologize to Bella right away, but I'd realized at once that he wouldn't let me near her … not until I'd calmed down … not until he was convinced that I wouldn't be a potential threat to Bella.

I'd spared both of them one last sorrowful glance, before turning my back on them and taking flight through the backdoor. On my way out I could hear that Bella had started to cry …

_Fuck, fuck, fuck … I messed up … big time … Great, you stupid motherfucker. You did it again … first making her mad and then scared of you … Great, just great …_ I had rebuked myself.

So, I ran. I just ran … putting as much distance between me and them. My whole body was still quivering from waves of hatred and self-loathing, when I finally stopped. I had run for so long that I had already passed the Canadian border. Even though I wasn't really in need of any nutrition I decided to hunt anyway. I quickly took down two large deer and a mountain lion, draining them completely, not leaving even one drop of blood. Afterwards I buried their carcasses and cleaned myself in a nearby stream.

Although my thirst was sated, my emotions were still reeling. I was pissed at myself … at Peter … and at Bella. I sat down on a tree trump and put my head in my hands. I knew … before even considering my return … back to the house, back to Forks, I had to come to terms with what had just occurred. I let the events play back in my mind …

I'd thought I had myself under control, prepared for whatever might happen as soon Bella would wake up. Oh boy, had I been wrong. I'd totally underestimated Bella's emotional state and her reactions … or I had just overestimated myself … whatever.

At first, her feelings had made sort of sense to me … when she'd taken in the almost empty living room. She was sad, very sad. The worst part wasn't the frown on her face … no … it was the deep sadness in her eyes, like someone had switched of the light. Her big brown eyes had always been on fire whenever she'd come to the house to visit the family. Even from the distance I'd always kept I'd been able to notice that. Now it had seemed that there hadn't been even a spark of life left in them. Oddly, seeing that I'd felt the strange urge to take her into my arms and offer her some comfort. But before I had been able to do or to say anything, Bella's emotions had gone haywire. If I hadn't been sitting at the time, her emotions sure had me knocked down on my ass. Without a second thought I'd sent her every ounce of calm I'd had to offer … thus keeping her … and myself … from losing it. That grateful smile she'd rewarded me with had warmed my cold and dead heart. I'd never felt that kind of gratitude in my whole existence …

But unfortunately, everything had gone downwards from there. First of all, Peter had pushed his luck by advancing on Bella in a way that had been both wrong and inappropriate (at least in my opinion) … and he'd known this, and had done it anyway. Bastard. He'd known pretty damn well that my self-control was pretty much nonexistent ever since I'd discovered that the family had left without so much as a goodbye … and that an action like that would most likely push me over the edge. What had he be thinking? Didn't he know?

And what the hell had Bella been thinking … allowing a strange, red-eyed vampire coming that close to her? Sure, now that I could think about with a clear head, I hadn't felt even a flicker of fear emanating from her … no there had been nothing but a healthy dose of nervousness and curiosity … but still. Hadn't she learned her lesson after what had happened with James and with me? She should be more vigilant … or she would end up dead … drained by one of our kind before she could even notice it happening. She could hardly know that Peter wasn't like James … in the department that he didn't hunt humans for fun … but he still fed of them. She must have acknowledged that fact … but clearly decided to ignore it. Totally unacceptable behavior in my opinion …

So, I'd snapped … throwing Peter across the room full force, strongly believing that Bella had been in danger. I had been so wrapped up in my own overpowering emotions, and hadn't been able to make the least bit sense out of Bella's … that I hadn't been able to form even one coherent thought. I had just acted on instinct …

_That is weird … my instinct was telling me to protect Bella … Why? How? I wonder what that is about … whatever …_

And then I remembered Bella's uncalled-for reaction to my maybe overprotective but well-meant action of putting myself between her and Peter. Not in my wildest dreams … if I would be able to dream at all … would I've imagined her to behave the way she had. At first Bella had been shocked of course … a natural reaction for a human witnessing two vampires moving both too abruptly and too fast … but her surprise had quickly been overshadowed by feelings of another kind. Feelings I hadn't expected under the circumstances … because I had truly believed that she would be at least a tiny bit grateful.

But whatever … even though I hadn't been ready for those exact kind of feelings coming from her I surely hadn't been prepared to discover that they had been in fact directed at **me**. Even from my crouched posture, with my eyes fixed on my current target – with other words my brother Peter – I had been able to see and sense that Bella had been so angry, almost inhumanly outraged with me, that her whole body had shaken under the force of her emotions. To say I was impressed was an understatement … but now I was wondering how her facile, little body was even capable to endure that kind of intensity at all.

It had been just like earlier … her emotions had been so overwhelming, almost numbing that **I** had been unable to think clearly and react with prudence. So when she'd yelled at me, I had let my own emotions take over my rational mind. I had snapped back at her, and in my crazed haze I'd had a really hard time to contain myself … refraining myself from becoming physical with her. And one thing was for sure, if I'd acted on those urges, I would have hurt Bella in the process. Fortunately … for both of our sakes … Peter had decided to step in to prevent a disaster from happening … again.

I shook my head in disgust, sighing heavily. I was so mad at myself, disappointed that I'd probably blown my one and only chance to make it up to Bella. I had been seeking her forgiveness for my past indiscretion, my slip-up last September … but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if Bella would never speak to me again. There was no excuse for my depraved behavior … and I deserved her hatred now more than ever.

Right now I hated my so-called gift. Lately it had been nothing but a curse … I had problems to distinguish between my own emotions and the emotions of others … deciphering them correctly seemed to be just as difficult … control was a foreign word for me. I felt like I was trapped in my own personal purgatory … for everything I had done to Bella. Simply put, I was a savage … a liability … a threat … and I should not be allowed anywhere near her ever again.

But even though I didn't really feel up to it yet, I knew I couldn't or better shouldn't put it off any longer, I needed to go back, and face my punishment … whatever it might be.

_Time to face the music … Maybe she'll surprise me … hardly … you don't deserve her forgiveness … But hope dies last, right? _I told myself, desperately in need of some pep-talk. I pushed myself up, and took off in the right direction leading to destination._ Back to my former home … back to Peter … back to Bella … back to Forks._

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_Back at the former Cullen mansion …_

Peter POV

Because I knew Jasper would be back pretty soon, not wanting me to be alone with Bella any longer than necessary, I decided it was time to get some things cleared up before his return. First of all, I needed her to understand that this whole thing wasn't her fault … as it wasn't Jasper's either, despite of what he might be thinking.

"Bella, I need to ask a favor of you." I began, in a quiet but firm voice. "When Jasper does come back … please, go easy on him, will you? I know his erratic behavior must have upset you … but I know he didn't mean to hurt you in any way … or me for that matter. In fact, if anything … he was only trying protect you …" I hold up a hand, stopping her before she could interrupt, "Please, Bella, let me finish. Truth be told, I am the only one here who needs to apologize.

"First of all, you need to know I've pressed him into coming here in the first place, knowing quite well that it wouldn't be easy for him to return to this place. Well … and then … when I greeted you in that very intimate and probably inappropriate way, I'd inevitably pushed him over the edge. You do know that he is an empath, and all those emotions he had been confronted with … his, mine and yours … they finally got the better of him." Bella nodded, sympathetically. But I didn't want my explanation to sound like an easy excuse for both our behavior, so I continued.

"Jasper has been through a lot today … and it really shouldn't have surprised me that he'd snapped in the end. I only wish it wouldn't have been in front of you. I am very sorry for that, Bella. Please believe me, neither one of us wanted to put you in that kind of danger. But just so you know the reason for his sudden outburst was only due to the fact that … right before your unexpected arrival here … he'd just discovered that the Cullens had left without telling him …"

"I don't understand," Bella finally succeeded to interrupt me. She was utterly confused by the news I'd provided. "What are you trying to tell me? He didn't leave with the rest of them?"

"No, Bella, he didn't. Jasper has been spending the last five month with me and my mate Charlotte down in Arizona. Actually, he'd left Forks right after … well, I think you know." I explained, cautiously. She shuddered ever so slightly, feeling obviously uncomfortable, being reminded of the event that had started this whole mess, but remained composed nevertheless … at least on the outside.

"I still don't understand." Bella stated, barely keeping it together. "HE told me … Ed.. Edward told me that Alice had left with Jasper … that they had gone to Denali."

Of course, I acknowledged the fact, that she just like Jasper had problems saying certain names of the family out load, but for now I decided to ignore it. One step at the time …

"Well, I hate to break it to you, honey," I said, forcing myself to stay calm which was very difficult at the moment, and trying not to sound too overly sarcastic. "But he'd lied to you."

_I wonder what else he's been lying about … to her … or the others … fucking mind-reader … if I ever see him again I'll kick him where the sun doesn't shine … Breaking the heart of this lovely girl … How did he dare? Cool down, Peter. Think of Bella._

She ignored my implication, shaking her head sadly. She was confused and deeply hurt. I assumed … maybe a little self righteously though … that her feelings had nothing to do with my bluntness but more with her sudden discovery that her former boyfriend had dared to lie to her … among other things he'd done.

"But I told him and Alice … I told them that I didn't blame Jasper … I forgave him right after it happened." She stammered … her body and voice trembling with strong emotions … emotions I wasn't able to identify completely. And then, I suddenly became aware that Jasper was back, even if I couldn't see him yet.

_Good timing, dude…_ I thought, cheerfully.

I didn't know why I'd expected him to waltz straight into the room but Jasper just stayed outside. Maybe he was just as stunned as I was about Bella's last statement. I'd told him the same thing over and over again … that it hadn't been his fault … actually that it hadn't been nobody's fault, but he'd never believed me. I could only hope that hearing the same words coming out of Bella's mouth would finally make him see the truth.

"So I take it then, that you really hadn't meant it, when you told him before … outside the house, that you hated him?" I pressed, knowing that Jasper would be able to hear her answer too. I felt a little bad to betray her by not telling her that Jasper was back … but I knew this little deceive of mine would work into my favor.

Bella smiled weakly, her embarrassment was palpable. A tiny blush crept upon her cheeks. "Yes … and no." She answered, truthfully, but continuing at once. "I guess, I was just overwhelmed … seeing him here again … after all this time. I'd just lost it. I don't even know why I'd come here today … When they'd left … I was broken, lost …"

Right this moment Jasper stepped out of the shadows. "I am so sorry, Bella." He whispered, pain and despair laying his voice. I could have sworn there would be tears in his eyes … if he were able to produce them. He was visibly shaken by Bella's revelation. Oddly, Bella wasn't really surprised by his sudden reappearance. In fact she seemed relieved and happy. "It was all my fault."

"No." Bella and I exclaimed at the same time, thus forcing us to laugh out load. But Bella sobered at once, getting up and slowly moving towards Jasper.

"No," she emphasized once more, with total conviction, leaving no trace of doubt left. "It was not your fault. It was an accident … a stupid accident."

"So … you forgive me?" Jasper asked, still unsure but at the same time desperately seeking her absolution … more than anything else … at least for the moment.

"Of course, Jasper." She said, taking a step towards him, cautiously reaching out to take his hands in hers. His relief was palpable, and a small smile graced his face.

"So that's settled then. Group hug?" I asked, smirking mischievously at both of them.

________________

**A/N Who doesn't want a hug from Peter or Jasper or preferably both at the same time? Well … it seems like the first obstacle is out of the way. What will happen now? Will Peter and Jasper leave right away? I'm still open to suggestions … so you know what to do.**

**And before I forget it, I wish everybody a HAPPY NEW YEAR. May all your dreams come true …**


	7. Tell me about it

**A/N Thanks for reviewing, and everything … you guys are AWESOME.**

**I have to say I was a little surprised that some of you think Bella should just go with Jasper and Peter when they leave. But why would she do that? Remember she still got school to finish, and Charlie would be more than a little upset if she would run off with some strange men (vampires). My Bella is more mature and therefore more responsible. Even though she is glad to see Jasper again and finally has the chance to get some things straightened out, she barely knows him and she still has a lot of inner demons to deal with …**

**And what will Jasper decide? Is there a reason for him to stay, after Bella forgives him? Or will he just pick up his things and leave right away?**

**Well, read and find out …**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Chapter 7 Tell me about it

Jasper POV

I stopped running when I reached the edge of the woods, walking slowly to the bank of small the stream separating the forest from the meadow in which centre the Cullen mansion was placed. Even though the sun was hidden behind the usual thick veil of clouds I could still determine by its current position that I hadn't been gone for as long as I'd thought, maybe only an hour …

I slightly crouched and leaped gracefully over the stream, coming to land steadily on my feet almost without making any noise. I walked slowly towards the backdoor of the house, but suddenly stopped in my tracks, when I heard Peter and Bella talking. A strange emotion ran through my body … I didn't know what it was exactly … but I didn't allow it to take control of me again.

They sounded so comfortable with each other, almost like they were old friends just catching up … but in fact they were comforting each other considering their topic of conversation. I was glad I couldn't detect any sign of fear coming from Bella, and that Peter was his usual composed self. I admired his incredible strength to keep himself in check around Bella, considering she was human and thereby his natural prey. But oddly, it seemed there wasn't even the slightest urge in him to make her his next meal … quite the contrary actually … he was both worried and intrigued by her.

_Silly Bella, she has no idea how lucky she is …_ I shook my head in annoyance and awe. Her unending trust in our kind was both troublesome and inspiring. _She truly is one of a kind …_

Although Bella wasn't showing any sign of fear, her emotions were still reeling. But clearly she was trying hard to keep them from consuming her … almost like she was unconsciously sensing my presence … which of course I was sure she couldn't … but I was grateful nevertheless for her attempt to control her emotions to some extent, thus helping me to keep it together. Bella was mostly confused and dismayed by the things Peter had just told her. It was pretty obvious that the family had kept the truth about my departure from her. I could understand that it hadn't been their main concern at the time but I was still surprised to hear that HE had lied to her.

_But why would he do that? If anything … my action should have worked into his favor …_ I mused.

"But I told him and Alice … I told them that I didn't blame Jasper … I forgave him right after it happened." Bella's voice trembled with her emotions. She was sad and disappointed for some reason.

I … on the other hand … was simply stunned, frozen in place. _Is this true? Does she really not blame me for what had happened that night? How can she think that way? I had tried to kill her for crying out loud! Is she simply that forgiving or just insane?_ Sure, I was able to sense the truth behind her words, but I wasn't able to believe them … not yet, because I was still convinced that I didn't deserve her forgiveness … not now … not ever. I probably was the reason that HE had left her … Why would she forgive me, when I was responsible for destroying her relationship?

Just then I became aware that Peter finally had noticed my presence. Even though I was still out of sight, he was able to sense me, of course. Strangely, he decided to carry on with the conversation obliviously instead of announcing my presence to Bella right away.

_Sneaky bastard_, I thought sourly, but unable to suppress a smile. _What are you up to now, bro?_

"So I take it then, that you really hadn't meant it, when you told him before … outside the house, that you hated him?" Peter asked Bella. By the sound of his voice, it was clear to me that he'd chosen to ask this particular question on purpose. Peter was obviously just as curious as me to hear her answer.

I braced myself. "Yes … and no." Bella answered, awkwardly but truthfully. She sounded like she was embarrassed.

_What is that supposed to mean? Yes … and no. What kind of answer is that?_

Before my irritation could get the better of me, she continued. Her voice was slightly unstable … whether because of her emotions or her search for the right kind of words … I did not know nor did I care at the moment. I was barely aware that I was holding my breath in anticipation of her explanation, my whole body was tense. "I guess, I was just overwhelmed … seeing him here again … after all this time. I'd just lost it. I don't even know why I'd come here today … When they'd left … I was broken, lost …"

Her words barely registered with my mind, because while she was speaking her gates fully opened again. I could feel all of her pain and sorrow, she'd tried so hard to conceal before. I was surprised that the force of her feelings didn't knock me down this time, instead my legs moved on their own accord, like some invisible force was pulling me towards her. Strangely, I felt the urge to take her into my arms again, holding her tight and comfort her … just like I'd done outside.

I took one final cautious step into the living room.

"I am so sorry, Bella." I whispered so low, that I wasn't quite sure if she could even hear me. But both their heads turned to me at once, and to my and Peter's astonishment Bella wasn't even the tiniest bit surprised by my sudden reappearance. Quite the opposite, she smiled at me. A tiny, but genius smile. Waves of relief and happiness washed over me, almost overriding my own feelings of regret and self-loathing … almost. "It was all my fault."

"No." Bella and Peter exclaimed at the same time, causing them to throw a hysteric laughing fit. I stared at them in shock. Sure it was a kind of funny quirk, but still inappropriate behavior in this situation … at least in my view. When Bella saw my expression, she sobered at once. Again smiling, she slowly got up from the couch and carefully made her way over to me.

"No," she emphasized once more, resolutely. There wasn't a trace of deceit in her voice … or in her feelings. "It was not your fault. It was an accident … a stupid accident."

"So … you forgive me?" I pressed again, still not able to believe her words. An accident, she'd called my attempt to kill her. This was just crazy. Maybe cutting herself on a simple sheet of paper had been an accident … but my attack? No way … that hadn't been an accident, that was simply acting on my animal instinct …

Of course, I wanted her to forgive me … well … actually at this point I had come to believe that I wouldn't be able to move forward if she didn't. I desperately needed her absolution to continue my_ life_ … just like she needed air to breathe to do the same. I needed at least someone to forgive me … if not one of my former family members … then maybe her? I knew I was grasping at straws at this point … but I was desperate.

"Of course, Jasper." Bella said with total sincerity, taking one final step towards me. She was cautiously reaching out to take my big, strong hands into her tiny, facile ones. I didn't dare to move or even say anything, scared to startle her if I would. When our skin met, a sudden jolt of electricity shot through my entire body … it felt like a fire was running through my veins … but instead of the all consuming, destructive power I'd connected with that specific force … there was nothing but a warm and fuzzy … sort of tingling sensation, a kind of cleansing power …

_Strange … but yet pleasant somehow …_

I hadn't missed the shiver that had run through Bella's body, when our skin had met. Obviously, she had felt this strange sensation too, but she didn't make any indication that she was repelled or anything.

_She truly feels comfortable in my presence … she is incredible …_

I was once again stunned speechless. I had held her before that day, so the closeness and warmth of her body shouldn't have that immense effect on me. What was so different this time? I had no idea … but I was definitely pleased to determine that at least the scent of her blood wasn't calling to me as strongly as I'd feared … which was both strange and enlightening. Could it actually be true that I wasn't the monster that I'd believed to be? Peter surely seemed to feel that way. And now that I thought about it, this wasn't the first time I was in such close proximity to Bella. We had stayed together in a hotel room for a few days without me even thinking once to take a bite at her. Funny, but still true. Had my family just been acting overcautiously the whole time, without there had ever been a real reason? Especially Edward … He had been the one to talk … Bella was his singer and he had been worried about my self-control? _Fuck him …_

With this sudden revelation of mine, I felt anger rising in me … anger at myself for doubting my own strength and of course anger at my family who had made me believe all this time that I was the weakest link. But somehow even through our limited physical connection, Bella kept me grounded. My anger didn't peak, but subsided bit by bit, and I wondered silently how she was able to do such a thing all of the sudden, when only an hour ago she had struck me down with her emotions alone … but I pushed these questions away, to ponder over them later … probably with Peter's input.

The whole time Bella's eyes were fixed on mine, pleading silently with me. _Please believe me … I forgive you … please believe me … it wasn't your fault … _Really looking at her for the first time,I lost myself in the depth of her brown eyes, feeling nothing but trust and love, and the unfamiliar but soothing warmth of her body through our entwined hands. It was like the time stood still …

I've never felt that kind of affection before in my entire existence … not even as a human … as far as I could remember. Her tender emotions were so pure and strong, and for once solely directed at me. I bathed in the warmth of it, letting it sink into every pore of my being. I felt totally at peace, and sighed out in relief and pleasure. I smiled at Bella timidly, nodding my head in appreciation, thus telling her without words that I believed her and how grateful I was for her forgiveness. She seemed to understand, smiling warmly in response.

"So that's settled then. Group hug?" Peter interrupted cheerfully, thus breaking the spell between Bella and me. She snapped her head up, looking at my dear brother and laughed nervously, and I couldn't help myself but answered Peter's mischievous smirk with a grin of my own.

"I'm sorry about before, bro." I said to Peter.

"No blood, no foul." Peter simply answered, waving a hand dismissively. But this was just an act for Bella's sake, because he added in a low voice inaudible to her, but not to me. "I'll kick your ass later for reacting so recklessly in her presence."

I couldn't quite determine if he'd really meant what he'd said or not, but I would let him have his revenge any way he wanted … hell I fucking deserved it. Of course, he wouldn't kill me, but he probably would throw some hard punches … and honestly I wouldn't be overly surprised if he would remove a limp or two in the process … just to make his point. He was still pissed, but hid it well from Bella, and tried his best not to influence me in any way with his emotions. But I knew him well enough, to see the little signs of rage … brewing deep inside him. By the way he had reacted to all this … had reminded me fairly of Emmett's behavior towards Bella … the big brother looking out for his little sister … and I could already tell that Peter was quite fond of Bella, too. What was it about this plain human girl that made dangerous creatures like us, behave so protective of her?

Just then Bella let go of my hands, and I immediately missed her touch.

_But why? Probably just because of the pleasant warmth … _

She went back to the couch, sitting down. She looked somehow exhausted, not physically but emotionally at least, but maybe it was just my imagination … When I took a seat on the other end, I detected another shiver running through her body. This time I was sure it was from cold and not from fear. I hadn't realized before that she only wore a thick sweater and no coat. The cold weather would not bother me or Peter, but a human.

"Are you cold?" I asked, caringly.

"A little." She admitted, a little reluctant, almost like she was embarrassed to show a sign of weakness. _Silly girl!_

"Let me see if there is a blanket somewhere." I offered right away, getting swiftly on my feet … but not too fast to startle her. I made my way upstairs, leaving the two of them alone again. When I was back in the room I used to share with Alice, I went straight to the closet. To call this extra _room_ a closet was actually an understatement. The built-in closet was almost as big as my study, and a waste of space in my opinion. But Alice had always been obsessed with clothes, and money had never been a problem for us, so she'd spent most of her free time shopping and had ended up with enough clothes to fill a small clothing store for at least a season or two. It was empty now … for the most part. Only a tiny fraction of the closet was still occupied with my clothes. The room looked just the same way as I had left it … well minus the amount of clothes Alice had owned … and I could see that not even one piece of my stuff had been moved since I'd left. Ignoring my qualms at this sight, I quickly dug through it, and finally found an old quilt at the bottom of my closet space.

_That will do …_ I thought, joyfully and made my way back to the living room.

Thanks to my vampire senses I was able to hear even from the second floor, when Bella opened the conversation again.

"So where are you from, Peter?" She began, like she was talking to a regular person and not a vampire.

"Texas, Ma'am." Peter answered, stressing his Southern accent to Bella's amusement. "Like Jasper."

"I didn't know that Jasper was from Texas." She admitted, sounding sad but at the same time pleased to discover some detail about my life, making me smile in response. She seemed almost eager to get to know me better. Was this a new course or had she always been interested in me? Before I was able to think about it further, I was back downstairs, handing Bella the blanket.

"Thanks," she said, smiling again. I began to enjoy this reaction in her … probably more than I should. Bella pulled the blanket around her body and making herself more comfortable on the couch.

"No problem, Darlin'." I replied, smiling too.

_Darlin'? … Why in the hell did I call her Darlin'? …What's wrong with me? …_

Even in my confused state, I could sense Peter's amusement very clearly, and I glanced at him briefly. He was grinning broadly at me. _He_ obviously had noticed my slip-up … in words … and thought it was funny. I scowled at him, and let him feel my irritation. _Bella_ on the other hand had been oblivious to our little interaction … and to my slip-up … or she had simply chosen to ignore it, which was fine by me. It would have been embarrassing for me … to say the least … to explain either one of them. She reached for the bottle on the table and took a sip of the water, before she faced me again.

"You guys seemed to be pretty close … How long do you know each other?" She asked, casually, but intentionally keeping the conversation going, like she was on a mission to find out as much as she could, before we would leave again …

"We go way back …" Peter started to answer her question, but when he heard my low but menacing growl, he stopped. This time Bella didn't miss a thing. She stared at both of us in alarm.

_Great now I've scared her again … Stupid, stupid … _I scolded myself.

"What's wrong?" She wanted to know, sounding slightly mortified as if she'd asked the wrong question. And she had … sort of. It was a tricky question … one I wasn't sure I was able to answer … not yet … maybe even never, because if she would know the _real_ me, she would be scared … really scared … and appalled … and for good reasons. The knowledge about my past … our past … wasn't for the faint-hearted. But then again Bella didn't seem to strike me as weak … not anymore … not after today. Maybe she never had been. And maybe she could handle the story of my horrid past. No, no … I wouldn't tell her … not yet anyway.

I smiled at her sympathetically, before I asked my own question, to determine what she might know already. "Bella, what _do_ you know about my past … about my life before I'd joined the Cullens?"

"Not much … Ed …Edward just told me that you had a totally different upbringing than the others." Bella answered, warily but truly.

"Well … that's a nice way of putting it …" Peter grumbled, causing me to growl at him again, but this time without Bella noticing anything. She just stared at both of us in total bewilderment.

"Won't you tell me?" She whispered, almost inaudibly. Her persistence was maybe cute under different circumstances … but not right now. I wasn't really angry with her, because even though I didn't know why, I wanted her to know me … all of me. But this topic was of limits … at least for tonight.

_Wait … am I planning on staying here? I can't. Not in this house … But I am not ready to leave either. Why? Because of Bella? Must be … What other reason is there?_

I felt the strange desire to get to know her better as well … now that I finally had a chance. Maybe I would actually stick around … at least for a little while …

"Bella." I tenderly called her attention. "It's not that I don't want to tell you about my past … our past more precisely", I motioned to Peter and then myself, "But I think now it not the right time … I promise that I will tell you someday … but just so you know it's not a pleasant story though."

Peter seemed just as surprised as me. Here I was making promises without actually deciding to prolong my stay. But I was determined to keep my promise … with any means necessary. If it meant that I would have to stay in this house longer than I'd originally planned, then so be it. It wasn't like that I had anywhere else to be … or something. And I had to fix the damaged wall and the broken front door … so we would stay at least until Monday … or Tuesday.

"Okay … I'll understand." Bella allowed, sighing … in relief. She really seemed to understand my reluctance to tell her my story right away, which I truly appreciated. But even without me telling her so, she seemed to believe that there would be a time, when I would tell her.

The atmosphere in the room was a little tense after the end this particular topic and neither one of us were sure what to do or say next. Even Peter was unusually quiet, apparently still processing my words. I could tell that he wasn't appalled by my unspoken proposal to prolong my stay in Forks. If anything he was … intrigued. Whatever was going through his mind, he wasn't about to share it with me or Bella … at least not for the moment. I was fine with that.

Suddenly Bella looked at her watch and gasped. "Fuck … is it already three?"

Her sudden outburst startled even us vampire … which was a miracle in itself. Peter chuckled lightly.

"Do you have somewhere else to be?" I asked, curiously.

"It's pretty late, and I need to get home. Charlie's probably wondering where I've been all day …" Bella rambled, already on the move.

"Oh sure, of course …" I mumbled, a little disappointed. What was wrong with me? Peter seemed to have noticed my reaction to her announcement to leave.

"Well … we don't want to cause any trouble for you. If your father is waiting …" He said, in a smooth but sort of weird way. I stared at him, but he just winked conspiratorially. Again, Bella didn't notice our little silent conversation.

"Oh … that's not it. Charlie is out for the weekend … fishing with his friends. But he likes to check in with me … to see how I'm doing," she elaborated, frowning a little at the end. "And I've left my cell at home this morning … so at least I should get home to see if he'd already called … But I would like to come back, if that's alright with you, guys?" She was smiling coyly, raising her eyebrows in question.

I could have sworn that my dead heart just jumped in my chest at the prospect of spending more time with Bella today.

_What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I acting like a teenage boy all of the sudden? All giddy and nervous … This has to stop … it's just Bella, _I reminded myself sternly, but apparently I was unable to keep my emotions in check completely, because in my peripheral vision I could see Peter smirking at me again._ Fuck, I'd just projected my joy to him … or not … who knows with this freak …maybe he'd already seen this outcome … _

Because I was too much annoyed with myself and Peter, I totally forgot that Bella was actually waiting for an answer. But before the silence became too awkward, Peter interceded on my behalf.

"That sounds great, actually. I would be honored to spend more time with you, Bella … and I think Jasper is happy, too." He declared, thus outing me to her. I huffed inaudible, but didn't comment. "Why don't you go home and pick up the things you need, and give your father a call and then you come back here and we can continue our talk. Hey, we can have a slumber party here … no parents and all that … Oh … how about I get you some Italian food from Seattle … I am sure you are pretty hungry by now." Peter offered, with a huge smile.

Bella laughed at Peter's enthusiasm, but she was feeling pretty much the same, to my surprise and delight. "Sounds like a good plan … but I don't wanna cause you any trouble in getting me food from Seattle … I can eat something at home." Bella insisted.

"No way, little lady. It would be my _pleasure_," Peter purred, laying emphasis on the last word. When I growled at him again, he just ignored me. "And … I have to run some errands in the city anyways …" Peter added, mysteriously. I knew what he meant right away, but I could sense Bella's confusion. For once I was glad that Peter had kept the true reason from Bella, instead of throwing the fact that he was going to hunt there as well right in her face.

Before she could reply anything, Peter was already at the door. "See you guys in a few." And with a tiny wave of goodbye, Peter was off.

"What has he … oh … _oh_ … I see." Bella gasped slightly, as realization sank in. She stared at me with her mouth slightly open, like she was trying to say something else, but was too shocked to actually form words. But strangely, she recovered quickly, nodding slightly to herself.

"He is going to hunt …" She stated, simply, almost detached.

"And you are okay with that?" I asked, perplexed. What a stupid question? How could she be okay with that?

"Would it be strange if I say yes? I mean … I know what he is … and he needs to eat … hmm … feed sometime. Right? I'm just glad, that he does it there rather here in Forks … Oh, my God. That sounds terrible …" Bella stopped her rambling abruptly, covering her face with her hands. Waves of embarrassment and mortification washed over me. "I'm a monster for thinking like that." She exclaimed.

_She thinks she is a monster … that's just hilarious …_

I snorted, causing her to snap her head up and glaring at me. "You are anything but a monster, Bella." I pointed out, vehemently. She kept staring at me, still feeling bad about what she'd just said. I cautiously reached over and took one of her hands in mine. Once again I felt this strange tingly sensation when our skin met, but I chose to ignore it this time. "Listen to me, Bella. I know you feel guilty about your words … but I understand what you were trying to say. And you are right … he needs to feed at some point … being what he is. It's nature. Predators and prey.

"But if it makes you feel any better … both Peter and Charlotte only hunt when they are hungry and not for sports like others of our kind. And I hope you can take some comfort in the fact, that they usually choose their victims very carefully … mostly homeless people or drug addicts … people that are rarely missed."

Bella listened to me intently, and I could see and sense that she was working through my explanation … or rather justification … very thoroughly. Finally, she nodded at me, and smiled a weak smile.

"Okay." Was the only thing, she said. It was clear to me that she would need some time, to fully comprehend the truth behind my reasoning, but she understood, that there was nothing she could do to prevent nature from happening.

"Come on let's get you home." I stood up, pulling her along with me.

"You're coming with me?" She asked, surprised but somehow pleased.

I smiled. "If you don't mind … And anyway … maybe it's better this way … if you are actually thinking about staying here overnight … well … it might be more _prudent_ to leave your truck at your house. In a small town like this, someone might mention the absence of it _and you_ to Charlie … especially when it's overnight …"

She laughed at my rambling, but agreed. "Oh, good point. I'm not sure how he will react to you being back and all … But wait, how are we going to get back?"

"Well … I could follow you with Peter's truck …" I began, but then an idea … a bad idea … popped into my head. "Or … or I could carry you back here …" I proposed, cautiously.

_What am I thinking? Why would she allow me to do that? This was something she had done with Edward … stupid … stupid …_

"Okay." She answered, surprising me yet again. I was prepared for her protest, but not for her enthusiasm. She actually seemed to be excited.

"Okay?" I repeated, still doubting her resolve.

"Yes," She replied earnestly, pulling me along to the exit. Until then I hadn't realized that our hands were still entwined. It felt so natural, and Bella didn't seem to mind the physical contact either. When we reached her truck, I reluctantly let go of her hand.

"Mind if I drive?" I asked, carefully monitoring her reaction. I just wanted to be chivalrous.

After a short, investigating glance at me, Bella shook her head. "No." She said, smiling, and handing me the keys.

Once inside the truck, my eyes immediately fell upon the empty space where Emmett had installed our birthday present. Bella noticed my stare, and gulped audibly.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled incoherently, blushing deep red. Her embarrassment was strong.

"It's okay … I understand." I said, shrugging.

"It's not that I didn't like it … or something … but after Edward had taken everything else from me when he'd left … well … I'd just overreacted. I'm truly sorry … I didn't want to hurt you … or Emmett. Or even Rosalie." She explained, and I could feel that she was upset with herself for reacting so immature. But my mind was busy with something else …

I was simply shocked. "He took your things?"

"Yeah," Bella verified, sadly.

"Why would he do that?" I mused aloud, but actually more to myself.

"Well … I guess to help me forget …" She shrugged, seeming reluctant to go into details.

_That sick bastard. How did he dare? Was leaving her alone not enough? Breaking her heart …_ _and stealing her_ _things ..._ I fumed silently.

One glance at her told me, that Bella had noticed my irritation, because she cringed slightly. "Jasper … please let's talk about something else." She pleaded with me.

"Of course," I soothed her. "I'm sorry if I'd said something to upset you …"

"It's alright … I'm just not quite ready yet, to talk about it. Okay?"

"Okay. Change of subject then? How is school?" I asked lightly.

She laughed at my subtle attempt to lighten up the mood, but she answered anyway. "Same old, same old. Gym sucks, but everything else is good … I mean better … I had a lot of things to catch up after …" She stopped again, apparently once again entering dangerous territory with that subject.

"And your friends?"

"Which ones are you referring to?" She asked, slightly amused by that question. It was true, even though I had always been at the sidelines I could not remember Bella hanging out with anybody from school. After all, she had spent almost the whole last summer with the Cullens.

"Well … Angela and Ben are actually the only ones who are still talking to me … I think I'd probably scared the other ones of with my weird behavior." She continued. "And Mike … for some weird reason …" She said, shaking her head.

The rest of the way we talked about her classes. I drove unusually slow, but I didn't really mind … because it meant more time with Bella …

* * *

Charlotte POV

When Peter and Jasper had left early this morning, I had been a little mad with my mate for leaving me behind. Not that I'd believed that I could have been any kind of assistance whatsoever, but Jasper meant almost as much to me as Peter. We were family, and in tough situations like these we would usually stick together. But of course Peter had insisted on going on this trip … as he had called it … without me.

"We'll be back soon, Char." He'd promised, while holding me tight in his arms. I knew he had his reasons for leaving me behind and I hadn't dared to demand an explanation, because he barely gave one anyway. This weird behavior of his didn't bug me anymore as it did Jasper sometimes. With time I had learned to just accept his gift, and usually decided to just ignore it, when Peter acted like that. I trusted Peter completely, and knew that he would never do anything to purposely hurt me … or Jasper.

I'd hugged my brother goodbye as well, murmuring into his ear that everything would be fine, pouring every ounce of comfort and love I'd possessed into him. He'd just smiled weakly at me, kissing my cheek swiftly and without another word he'd walked over to the passenger side of our truck.

Peter had given me one last passionate kiss, and then he'd gotten in the car, and they were gone. I stayed outside for a little while longer, thinking about the past months …

I would never forget the pained expression on Jasper's face the day he'd come here last September, and I had been and still was deeply concerned about him. I knew that my mate would give him any support necessary, but there was only so much he could do … Jasper wasn't himself right now … pretty unstable actually … but then again if anybody would asked me … he hadn't been himself for a very long time. Of course no one wanted the _actual_ Major Whitlock back … God forbid … we all had been through hell together at that time and were glad, that we had come out of it almost undamaged … well at least in one piece. But the more time Jasper had spent with the Cullens and especially with his pixie of wife, the more his eyes had lost that spark of life … that flicker of true power and strength. Of course, he had been happy at first that he'd finally found a place where he'd _seemed_ to belong, and Peter and I had been happy for him, too. No more depression, at least. But every time we had seen each other in the past decades … which hadn't been as often as Peter and I had wanted … I'd noticed that the bad changes far outweighed the good ones … What had happened to the strong leader, the fighter he had once been? Jasper had turned in nothing but a string-puppet in my opinion … but because he'd seemed to be content with the situation I had kept my mouth shut. Of course I've shared my opinion with my mate on many occasions, but Peter had always answered, that it was Jasper's choice and up to him to change his life if he was willing to.

_His __**life**__ … hmpf … This was nothing more than solely existing … not living at all._

It was hard for me to see Jasper so unhappy … even if he would have contradicted me on that assessment. But I knew that he wasn't truly happy … content yes … but not as blissfully happy as I was with my Peter. There were partners … lovers … and mates. And then there were soul mates … like Peter and myself. If anything Jasper and Alice had been nothing more than lovers … even if they would call themselves mates. But I knew better, because I could see it …

_I wonder why __**she**__ couldn't see it, too. Isn't she the one who is all seeing and all knowing …_

I shook my head in annoyance, and sadness. In just a few hours he would have to face the very people that had just watched him leaving … their home … and their family … without making any attempt to keep him there and sort things out … like a true family would. Maybe, it had been a wise decision under the circumstances but I still couldn't believe that either one of them had tried to make contact with him in all those months …

_What a nice family!_

I finally stood up, and made my way inside the house again with the intention to clean or read something, but then I quickly decided to rather spend my day in town. I hated to stay home alone … because ever since we'd escaped from Maria, Peter and I had barely been apart for more than a day or two tops. It simply hurt too much to be away from your other true half for longer than that … and being forced to stay in the house alone didn't do me any good at the moment.

After a little shopping and wandering around the streets (Thank God it was raining today!), I made my way back to our house … patiently awaiting both of my men to return home.

It was around four in the afternoon, when my phone beeped. With a smile on my face, I went over to the table to pick up my cell and eagerly opened it. Like I'd expected, it was a text message from Peter.

PACK SOME CLOTHES AND GET YOUR SWEET LITTLE ASS OVER HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

_What the hell? Are they planning on staying there … Why?_

Beep. Another message.

NO NEED TO WORRY, BABE. THEY ARE GONE. BUT JASPER HAS TO FIX SOME THINGS BEFORE HE CAN LEAVE …

_Cryptic much? Did he tear down the house, or what? And even if … who cares … I would gladly set the house on fire myself … just hand me some matches …_

I was just about to dial his number, when my phone beeped again.

DON'T CALL. I CANNOT TALK AT THE MOMENT. AND I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM YET.

_Why not? What's the problem in me coming there, when no one of his former family is there anyway? I don't get it …_

Beep. This was getting annoying.

BE PREPARED. THERE IS A HUMAN HERE.

_A Human? What human? Not that human pet of his so-called brother? But it has to be her … who else could it be?_

Beep.

_What is it with these tiny bits of information? Can't he just write one long message …_

SORRY, MY LOVE, I KNOW YOU ARE PROBABLY MAD AND WANT TO YELL AT ME RIGHT NOW. BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU THE CLIFFNOTES. I PROMISE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU'RE HERE. LOVE, PETER.

_You'll better. _I huffed, but smiled nevertheless. _He knows me so well …_

I wrote one short answer myself, telling him that I was already on my way.

GOOD. SEE YOU SOON. MISS YOU.

Even without actually hearing his voice, I could tell from reading between the lines that Peter was both excited and worried. So was I. Excited to see my mate, worried about what had happened and on top of that … I was totally confused.

I could hardly wrap my head around the fact that the Cullens actually had left Forks … and not even telling Jasper about it.

_Well, maybe they left him a message … telling him where they'd relocated …_ I mused. _But I doubt that … not after …_

And above all of that … from what I've been able to decipher from Peter's text messages … they had left the human behind, too. The human they had welcomed into their family … and more importantly had introduced to our world. Our sole existence was supposed to stay hidden from any humans … and for good reasons. In revealing themselves they had broken the one and only rule …

_Stupid move. But what else did they expect to happen? Flaunting their existence in the faces of so many humans … someone would have figured out their secret eventually … and apparently this Bella chick had finally succeeded … where others had failed …and she had the guts to confront them … remarkable … truly remarkable …_

I wasn't quite sure what to make of the rest of Peter's messages. Sure, I was curious to meet the girl … considering that this human had been the cause for Jasper's trouble. But I was also worried, because I had no idea how to act around humans … other than feeding of them or the informal and quick interactions with them when I went shopping. Fortunately, I had fed last night before Peter's and Jasper's departure, but I knew I would need to feed on the road again, just to be safe. My control was not as good as Peter's … but close. Even though … I wasn't going to take any chances …

I went into our bedroom and quickly packed up some of my and Peter's clothes, since he hadn't taken any with him, when they had left this morning. And why should he have? This wasn't supposed to be a long stay … but now? Who knew? I threw the bag over my shoulder, closing the front door behind me without bothering to lock it, because no one … at least no human … would ever come here. And then I made my way into town again on foot. We didn't possess a second car, because there simply was no use for one, so I had to rent one. Under no circumstances would I run the whole way like Jasper had done … after all I was a woman.

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**A/N Pooh … this is my longest chapter … yet. I can't promise the next ones will be as long as this one … but somehow I couldn't stop … But I hope you don't mind …;-)**

**Tell me what you think!**

**Next chapter will be up in a week … I hope … with the reappearance of another character other than the two already introduced pairings. Anyone wanna make a guess, who?**


	8. I told you so

**A/N Thanks for all the reviews and everything … as always I am pleased to see that my storyline is to your liking.**

**At the end of the last chapter I'd announced the reappearance of another character … but you will see that it will not be an actual return … for now … only an introduction of that person and her thoughts on what had happened on the night on Bella's birthday party and the resulting consequences … **

**Just for the record, I might change some tiny little details of what had transpired before Edward had left to better fit into my story. You will see what I mean … but I hope it will not bother you so much …**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Chapter 8 I told you so

_Five months ago on the eve of Bella's 18th birthday party …_

_An hour before Bella's arrival …_

Rosalie POV

The hood of my red-convertible was popped up, and I leaned over to reach for the some tool I required. I loved working on my car … or any car I could get my hands on for that matter. Edward's Vanquish, unfortunately, was of limits, but at least Carlisle and Emmett allowed me to upgrade their vehicles from time to time and (mostly) appreciated my handiwork. It was my favourite pastime ... just like Alice loved to go shopping ... a lot. Jasper and Edward shared an interest in reading and music although their tastes in both hobbies differed considerably. Esme was the creative one in our family, and always busy with planning and redecorating. Most of Carlisle's time was usually occupied with his work at the hospital, but he didn't seem to mind, because he enjoyed it too much. Well, and my Emmett was happy watching TV and playing his games ... or with me.

Without the need for sleep like a human, it was truly necessary to come up with something useful or interesting to occupy ourselves ... especially with this great amount of extra time at a vampire hand.

But right now, the garage was more than the usual place to help me relax, and an opportunity to work on my car ... it was a hideout. For days now, Alice and Esme had been planning and preparing the big surprise birthday party for Bella, Edward's _human_ girlfriend. Today was Bella's 18th birthday and Alice had insisted on throwing her a party, even though Edward had told her over and over again that Bella hated any kind of attention, but of course Alice wouldn't budge. Once she'd made up her mind, there was usually nothing anybody of us could do or say, to make her change her mind. Not even Jasper who was supposed to be her mate had any influential power over her whatsoever which was odd in my opinion. Of course, Emmett and I had our little quarrels like every couple but we usually were on the same page when it came down to making important decisions ... or at least we tried to find a compromise that suited us both. But Jasper and Alice were nothing like us ... on so many levels ... and sometimes I wondered if they really belonged together. But they seemed to be happy, so I had never shared my doubts with any of them.

_Call me selfish if you want ... but I try not to stick my nose in things where it doesn't belong._

Even though Edward had been against this whole party thing at first, he was now pretty excited about it too, and so was everyone else ... well, except me. I did my best to stay out of the whole preparation process, because I didn't want to be a part of it ... actually not only the pathetic birthday party but this whole ridiculous so-called relationship between my brother and this human girl.

From the very beginning I'd made it perfectly clear where I stood regarding this subject. In my opinion it had been a bad idea to encourage my brother to get to know the girl who was not only impervious to his gift but above all whose blood sang to him.

_Get to know her ... then you won't be tempted ... that's just hilarious ... and stupid ... playing with this poor girl's life ... as an experiment to test the strength in his ability to withstand the appeal of the most delicious blood he'd ever had ... crazy, just crazy ..._

But everyone ... except me and maybe Jasper ... had total confidence in this foolish endeavour. Of course, why wouldn't they? Edward was the golden boy, the 'first born', and nobody thought he would fail in anything.

I could clearly remember the family meeting we'd had after Edward's first encounter with Bella. How shaken he had been, afraid to slip up ... and thus him being the weakest link in the family for a change. Usually, this particular role was taken by Jasper ... Yes it was true, my dearest brother had to struggle more with our abnormal choice of lifestyle than anyone of us, but considering his past it was only reasonable. Edward had left us for almost a week, but of course he came back, to prove himself.

Apart from Carlisle and me, who'd never tasted human blood, all of them had slipped up once in a while ... at least in the very beginning. And Emmett had met his equivalents to Edward's human twice ... and hadn't been able to resist on both occasions. So, why did the family have this unending amount of faith in Edward to accomplish this insane goal? To abstain from biting this girl whose blood literally called out to him? I still had no answers to these questions.

And Jasper did the best he could to resist ... because he really wanted to stay with the family, to have a place where he'd finally belonged. And he was smart enough to avoid temptations like Bella if he could help it. Knowing how hard it was to resist at all, of course he had sided with me after the incident with the car.

Yes, our plan to kill the poor girl who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time that day and unknowingly had become an unhealthy obsession of my brother's had probably been a little too hasty and cruel. But we'd both had only the safety of our family in mind. Keeping our existence a secret from the humans was imperative to survive in our world, and in acting this recklessly Edward could have exposed us not only to her but to a lot of the other students as well. And no one of us wanted to attract the attention and wrath of the Volturi. I had been so mad at him that day I could have ripped him to pieces and would have danced around the pyre.

But then Alice came along with her visions ... visions of Edward falling in love with the girl and her becoming one of us some day. Of course, all of us had been shocked by this information, but apparently this revelation had changed everything.

Over the next weeks Edward had tried to stay away from Bella, but he'd finally caved. Oddly, _he_ hadn't revealed our secret to her. No, she had been smart enough to figure it out all by herself ... with a little help from a friend from the Indian reservation down at La Push according to Edward. Being already too smitten with her, he'd not even tried to deny anything. All of us ... including myself ... had been impressed who well she'd taken the truth about us. She hadn't seemed to be scared at all only intrigued.

The unpleasant incident with James' coven should have finally convinced Edward and the rest of my family, how fragile and weak she actually was ... that she didn't belong in our world no matter how nice she was. But strangely, this event seemed to have an adverse effect ... at the very least on Bella. From time to time I caught glimpses of her looking at Edward like he was her saviour ... her white knight in shining armour. But as far as I was concerned, this event had been the beginning of the end ... the turning point.

Now Edward had tasted her blood once... and I was certain that he would always crave for a second helping (pun intended). I'd tried to talk to him about it, try to warn him of the danger her presence among us presented, that this whole thing was crazy and he was endangering her life, and would probably ending on killing her anyway, but he wouldn't listen. He was too proud, and too selfish to see what was right in front of his eyes. He seemed to forget, that we all were a potential danger to her.

But Edward probably thought that I was just jealous of Bella, that she'd succeeded where I'd failed ... getting to his heart. Yes, I envied her ... but not for him loving _her_ ... but for the life she had, all the possibilities in a human life, a true future ... a family, all the things I'd been denied in my human life ... and then in my vampire existence. And she was willing to give up her human life to be with someone who was just as inexperienced in love and life as she was. I was pretty sure he'd read my thoughts, to know what I was thinking about Bella, but I was sure that he couldn't fully comprehend their meaning. We'd never been very close before, but since Bella had stumbled into our lives, the little connection we'd shared got more and more strained.

Needless to say, Esme had been over the moon when she'd discovered that this simple girl had such a positive effect on her favourite son. True, he'd definitely changed for the better ... at least a little ... no more brooding around all of the time ... more laughter.

Carlisle was happy, and very proud of his son.

Alice was just ... well ... just Alice. Overly pleased to have someone new to play with.

Emmett was happy to play the role of the big brother, and enjoyed teasing Bella on many occasions.

And I kept my distance for the most part ... and so did Jasper, although for different reasons.

Even from here, I could hear Alice and Esme rummaging through the house, preparing everything for the big birthday party. Alice was bouncing up and down the stairs in rapid succession, shouting commands at everyone who was willing to comply. I knew sooner or later she would notice my absence in this whole preparation process, and would come looking for me.

_Speak of the devil ... and the devil shall appear ..._

I could sense her approach, even before I heard her voice. "Rosalie!" Alice screeched, hysterically, stopping right at my side.

_God, one of these days her voice will make my ears bleed, I swear ... I have no idea how Jasper is dealing with it ... or her for that matter ..._

"What the hell are you doing in here?" She asked, her voice pitching even higher.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm working on my car." I answered, evenly, trying to ignore her presence all together.

"_**Now?**_Bella will be here in half an hour … You need to change into something _nice_." The little pixie ordered, emphasizing the last word. She shot me an annoyed and disgusted look when she took in my current outfit. What was she expecting me to wear? A designer outfit instead of my working overall to work on my _car_? "I'll help you … if you want me to."

"No thank you. I think I'm old enough to dress myself." I declined her generous offer, rolling my eyes in annoyance, but keeping my head down, so she couldn't see it. Knowing that she wouldn't leave unless I would come with her, I put down the tools, and closed the hood of the car. She led the way, and I reluctantly followed.

On my way to our room I came across Jasper. He smirked slightly at my annoyed expression. "Do me a favour and use some of your gift on your little wife. She is getting on my last nerve." I snapped at him.

"I could try ... but I doubt that it would work." He allowed, letting me feel his helplessness concerning this matter.

_Poor guy ..._

"Hmpf," I grumbled, but then I remembered that I hadn't seen him for the past few hours. "Where have you been anyway?"

"Emmett and I went for a short hunt." He simply said, shrugging his shoulders in a dismissive manner.

I was surprised. "Why? We all went hunting last night."

"Alice and Edward had suggested it ... as an extra precaution." He answered, sinking his head in sheer humiliation. I hated to see him like that, feeling and acting like he was a liability.

_I will have a word with both of them later, for making him feel weak and ashamed of himself ... again ... he deserves better ..._

"And Emmett came along to keep me company." He added quickly.

"Extra precaution ..." I mumbled incoherently. I longed to comfort him, but I knew with all the sensitive ears in the house, I couldn't do it with words. So I reached out, and gently stroked his cheek instead, and sending him my love and sympathy along with my touch. He smiled timidly, but didn't say a word. We often had these silent conversations, not actually needing words to express what we were feeling or thinking, and considering his special gift words were hardly necessary to begin with.

I turned around, walking straight down the hall towards the room Emmett and I shared. I could hear the shower running, and smiled to myself in anticipation. I had planned to only take a quick shower, and then changing into something _nice_ as Alice had demanded. But now my mind was suddenly on a different matter.

_Combining necessity with pleasure, mmmh …_

"I don't think there is time for _that_." Jasper commented, rolling his eyes at me.

"Mind your own business!" I playfully growled at him, before slamming the door shut behind me. I could still hear Jasper laughing heartily, while he was making his way downstairs, and I couldn't suppress a smile myself. At least he was in a better mood now, with his mind diverted from his earlier depression.

_I am always eager to please ... and speaking of pleasing ..._

I quickly disposed off my clothes and went into our private bathroom. Emmett stood with his back to me under the spray of water, in all his naked glory. Of course, he'd already sensed that I was near, but he didn't turn around. He knew perfectly well that I loved to admire his muscular and yummy backside, almost as much as other parts of his gorgeous body. I slid open the glass door of the shower, and stepped in behind him.

"Need some assistance?" I purred into Emmett's ear, letting my hand trail down from his neck to his ass, squeezing it lightly. That action earned me a low growl on his part, which sent shivers down my spine. I knew how this would end, and the anticipation of things to come made my whole body tremble.

Emmett slowly turned around, taking me into his strong arms and kissing me passionately. "Always ..." He moaned into my mouth, letting his strong hands wander over me body, teasing me in all the right places.

"We have to hurry." I whispered, raggedly.

"No problem." He replied, smirking at me, before he continued to worship my body ...

*

*

*

*

Only twenty minutes later we both were clean, dried and dressed up, and finally joining the other family members downstairs. I actually felt more relaxed now, like I always did after making love to my mate. Happy and satisfied. While we had been putting on our clothes Emmett had made me promise again to behave myself ... for Bella's sake. I'd agreed of course, not wanting to disappoint or anger my mate. I would do almost anything in order to see him happy ... and even though I didn't care much about Bella in general, I didn't want her to think that I hated her, because really I didn't ... not after realizing how much happiness she'd brought to the whole family ... but especially to my Emmett. Who could hate a person for doing something like that?

_Right on time ..._ I thought slyly when I heard the familiar sound of Bella's truck coming to a halt outside.

When Edward and Bella came through the door, we all greeted her with a cheerful chorus of, "Happy birthday!"

The shock in her face was simply priceless, I almost laughed out loud, but I caught myself just in time. Bella openly gaped at the room, taking it in what Alice had done in her frenzied preparation for this evening. Especially with the knowledge that Bella wasn't really into this, Alice had really overdone it. Bella was blushing as always, but there was also a slight frown on her face, telling me that she felt more uncomfortable than actually embarrassed. She tried to hide it as best as she could, but it was pretty obvious to me that she didn't want to be here ... at least not to celebrate her birthday, not like that. I pitied her for being dragged into this against her will, and couldn't help myself for being a little angry with Edward for forcing her to do something she apparently didn't want to do. It was her birthday after all. Shouldn't that mean that it was up to her to decide what to do, and how to do it?

_Apparently not ... Way to go, Edward ... always making the choices for her instead with her like she'd deserved it ... she is not a child ... at least not anymore..._

Just then I felt someone nudging me in the rips, and I glanced around to see who it was. Jasper glared at me with a knowing look on his face.

_Ooops ... _I realized at once that Jasper had sensed my rising anger, and had tried to warn me. I quickly turned my head around and looked at Edward, to see if he'd read my mind, but his focus was solely on Bella at the moment, so apparently he hadn't noticed my slip up. _Thank God!_

"Thanks." I breathed in Jasper's direction, and he just nodded imperceptibly.

Carlisle and Esme moved forward to congratulate Bella, and I could hear Carlisle whisper, "Sorry about this, Bella. We couldn't rein Alice in."

I chuckled lightly under my breath, and so did Jasper beside me. Bella smiled at all of us, politely as always and trying not to appear ungrateful. For a second there her eyes met mine and could see something different in her eyes. Normally, she avoided me as much as I avoided her, but today she smiled at me timidly but genuinely, with a glint of hope in her eyes, before she quickly diverted her eyes somewhere else.

_Wow ... I truly had been a bitch ... for her acting like this ...maybe I should give her a chance after all ..._

"You haven't changed at all," Emmett said with mock disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett." Bella replied sarcastically, blushing even deeper. My mate just laughed and stepped forward to hug her as always a little too tight. "That's my little sister. Happy birthday, Bella."

"Thanks, big brother." Bella gasped, trying to breathe normally.

Emmett finally let go of her, scratching his head in slight embarrassment. "Hmmm ... I have to step out for a second ... Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try." Bella snorted back.

Emmett left to install our combined birthday present. A new stereo for her truck. To be honest, I was a little disappointed not being able to do it myself ... come to think of it, I really would have liked to get my hands on her truck for some other upgrades as well. But considering our less than close relationship, I'd never ask Bella for her permission.

"Time to open presents," Alice chirped, barely able to contain herself anymore. She put her hand under Bella's elbow, towing her along to the table with the cake and the birthday presents. Why Alice had bothered with a whole birthday cake, was upon me, but maybe she wanted all of us to eat a piece of it too, so that Bella wouldn't have to eat alone. At least that would explain the stack of glass plates piled up next to the cake. I shuddered at the sheer thought of it ... unlike Emmett I wasn't too keen to experience human food.

"Alice, I told you I didn't want anything ..." Bella groaned.

"True, but I didn't listen," Alice interrupted her, grinning smugly. God, I wished Bella would smack her right in the face ... for being so arrogant and manipulative, but of course she didn't. Even if ... she would have only hurt herself in the process. And anyway, Bella wasn't the violent kind of girl ... quite the contrary. I couldn't even remember hearing her use a harsh tone of voice ...

"Open it." Alice encouraged, after she gave Bella the first package. I knew it would be empty, because it was the box that used to house the stereo, Emmett was installing right now.

"Um ... thanks." Bella muttered, confused, when she'd opened it to find nothing inside.

I laughed at her expression, and so did Jasper. "It's a stereo for your truck," he explained. "Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."

Bella cracked a smile, glancing shortly at Alice, before she said. "Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," and then she turned her head towards the door to call more loudly. "Thanks, Emmett!"

His booming laughter triggered her own and then we all joined in, laughing more out of relief than actual joy, because Bella apparently had forgiven us, for buying her something for her birthday despite her former lack of enthusiasm and her unusual reluctance to accept any kind of attention. I could see a little bit of the tension leave her face and her body.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice ordered, bouncing up and down in excitement. Emmett was back by now. He was standing just as close to Bella as the rest of us, not wanting to miss anything.

Bella shot Edward a short but significant look, reminding him sternly, "You promised."

"I didn't spend a dime," he assured her, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

Bella sighed in defeat, but took the package out of Alice's hand. She stuck her finger under the edge of the wrapping paper and jerked it under the tape.

"Shoot," Bella muttered, pulling her finger out and examined it intently ... apparently totally forgetting the particular company she was in at the moment.

I could immediately smell the scent of fresh human blood, and so could every other vampire in the room. Out of reflex to withstand the temptation I stopped breathing all together, but apparently Jasper hadn't done so.

It all happened so fast, that I was sure that Bella didn't even realize what was going on around her at first. I could hear Edward roaring 'NO!', throwing himself in front of Bella, thus trying to block Jasper's relentless advance on her. I was shocked for a second to react in any way ... not because of Jasper's reaction ... that was only a natural response in our kind ... but because of Edward's. He pushed Bella out of the way ... hard enough, that the human girl actually flew across the table, taking everything on it down with her, as she fell to the ground, landing in a mess of shattered glass.

In the next second Emmett grabbed Jasper from behind, locking him into his massive steel grip. Yes, my mate was physically stronger than my brother, but under the circumstances he had a hard time to keep it together himself. I knew that the scent of Bella's blood was getting to him to some extent, but apparently his mission to protect his little sister kept him sane enough to react accordingly. Jasper struggled wildly in Emmett's arms, desperate to get free. Edward was crouched in front of her, poised to spring. His eyes were pitch black, and his face contorted in a mixture of pain, fear and hunger. Both of them, were snarling and growling at each other ...

It took my some real effort to tear my eyes away from the newly created wound on Bella's right upper arm. Finally I snapped out of my trance, and moved forward to help Emmett. Together we dragged Jasper outside, through the backdoor. I carefully avoided getting to close to his mouth. His eyes were wild, pitch black from hunger ... which was odd, because he'd fed so much these past two days. As soon as we were outside, I breathed in the clear air, and so did Emmett. But he didn't dare to let go of Jasper, not yet.

I kneeled in front of my brother. "Jasper, honey. You need to snap out of it." I said, in a very soothing kind of voice. I still kept a safe distance, afraid he would attack me next, if I moved to close. "Jasper? It's me, Rose. Can you hear me? Jasper, you need to breathe ... take a deep breath, it's okay ... calm down."

His whole body trembled under the force of his emotions. I suddenly realized that he must have felt not only his own emotions, but all of ours as well. Fear and anger, combined with the bloodlust of six vampires ... No wonder he'd reacted that intensely.

I kept talking to him, trying to calm him down with my comforting words. Slowly, his body relaxed some, and then he finally stopped struggling all together. Emmett relaxed his hold on him to some extent, but didn't let go of him completely, not quite sure if it would be safe to release his brother.

"Jasper, look at me. It's okay ... nothing bad happened. Bella is okay ... " I said, knowing that it was a lie, sort of. But at least he hadn't been the one doing the damage. No, this had been all Edwards fault. I could hear the voices from the others inside the house. Esme had excused herself shortly after we'd left, but she didn't join us out here. Alice, Edward and Carlisle had moved Bella into Carlisle's office, where Carlisle took care of Bella's injuries.

At last Jasper lifted his head and locked eyes with me. I gasped inaudibly. All I could see and sense was a great amount of self-loathing and humiliation, and then to my utter astonishment a great deal of determination. Before I could say anything, Jasper had freed himself out of Emmett loose grip and stood up. He shared one last look with me, and then he took flight into the nearby woods.

I stared after him, lost for words and barely noticed Emmett moving closer to me. He put his arms around me, holding me tight. He was still trembling slightly, still under shock ...

"He will be back," Emmett whispered into my ear, trying to reassure me, to soothe me. I dry-sobbed into his chest, shaking my head. "It's going to be okay, honey. He will be back soon. Just give him some time to cool down."

"I'm not so sure about that … you didn't see his face …" I mumbled. I tried hard to shed this feeling of dread ... something told me, that I wouldn't see my brother for a long time. But I feared to share my fear with Emmett at the moment.

Just then, to make things worse, Alice and Edward joined us. "Where is he?" Edward demanded to know, and not in a nice way ... like he was concerned about his brother or something. His tone of voice dripped of hate and disgust.

I turned around to glare at him and Alice. Their features were much alike, and anger was building up inside of me.

"Don't you dare to say it!" Edward growled at me.

Okay, I didn't say it out loud, but let him know through my thoughts where I stood.

_I told you so!_

_________________

_Back to the present …_

Jasper POV

I parked Bella's truck right in front of her house, in what I presumed from the shape of the tire tracks was her usual parking space. The Chief's car was indeed not there, and there weren't any lights on in the house or on the front porch, indicating that the house was in fact completely vacated.

I'd never been here before, but I could already tell even only seeing the house from the outside, that it really was a _home_. Not a mansion like the Cullen's house, big and white, and oh so clean even from the outside … no this two-storied house was the complete opposite. It was much smaller, and looked even older which it probably wasn't. I could determine that it was indeed in need of some repairs … like parts of the roof should be replaced and maybe a new painting job. But I liked it just the way it was … because it looked _real _not fabricated. I could already picture the inside of the house in my mind, and was quite curious to see if my imagination was corresponding with the reality or not … the interior had to be cozy and warm … like a true home … not pristine and cold … like the Cullen house …

_What was the human saying? Ah, yes … Show me how you live, and I tell you who you are … yes I'm fairly sure seeing the inside of her house, would tell me something more about Bella …_

We both got out of her truck simultaneously, although I rather would have opened the door for her like the gentleman I was. But something told me that Bella wouldn't have reacted too kindly to that precise gesture … because if I'd remembered correctly … and I did … my brother had done that sort of thing all the time, and I wouldn't do anything … at least not on purpose … that would remind her of him. Considering what she'd told me in the car … and regarding her expressions and feelings in general whenever I mentioned Edward … it was probably wise to avoid any subjects concerning him … at least for the time being until she was ready to talk. Of course, I was very curious … to say the least … to hear more about what had happened after I'd left … but I knew she needed time and I would give her that and more. The whole thing was obviously still a sore subject for her, and even though she tried to put up a brave face, I could sense the pain searing underneath her mask. And who could blame her? I felt pretty much the same … abandoned by the same people, the people that had claimed to love both of us …

_Two peas in a pod … that's what we are …_ I smiled to myself dryly.

Just then, a strange and unpleasant scent hit me full force, and I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I wasn't able to identify the scent, but it reminded me of decaying animal carcasses or something like that … something foul for sure. Apparently, Bella wasn't able to smell it too, even though the smell was very strong, because she showed no sign of repulsion whatsoever. I quickly regained control of my facial expression, before she could read the disgust in my face, and misinterpret it.

Ignoring the scent, I followed Bella to the front door at a human pace. She rummaged in her pocket for a while, and then pulled out a set of keys. I stifled a laugh when she fumbled with the lock for a bit longer than necessary. She'd finally succeeded in her mission to unlock the door, and pushed down the handle. The door creaked slightly, and I expected her to enter the house without any further delay. But she didn't. Instead, she stopped in her tracks, turning around to face me. All of the sudden she seemed nervous, but I had no clue why.

"Do you want to come in, Jasper?" Bella asked hesitantly, biting her lower lip. I was surprised when waves of awkwardness and uncertainty hit me.

Why was she acting like this all of the sudden? Not half hour ago she'd tried to convince me that she trusted me … that she did have more faith in my self-control than any of my former family members. And on top of that, she'd planned to return to the Cullen house with me after picking up her stuff. So what was her problem now?

_Maybe she still worried to be alone with me … considering that Peter had been around the whole time before … which is just crazy … he is the one who still dined on her kind not me … or maybe she is unsure whether she should invite an almost stranger … a __**man**__ … into the house … without her father's permission? Well, that's a funny thought! Like, I was trying to seduce her or something … Well, she is beautiful, really beautiful … and the way she bites her lip, when she's nervous … is just cute … and the warmth of her skin … I'd like to feel that again … to hold her in my arms again … feeling her body pressing against mine … Head out of the gutter, Major! This is Bella for crying out loud … She doesn't think of me that way … and neither do I … I can't … I shouldn't … I DON'T …_ I argued with myself, completely disregarding the fact that Bella was still waiting for my response to her invitation.

"Jasper?" Bella called my name tentatively, trying to pull me out of my reverie. My vision was kind of hazy … which was weird for me being a vampire and all … and my mind was muddled by the mental pictures of me and Bella holding each other in a tight, sort of intimate embrace … and even knowing these kinds of thoughts were not only wrong, but most certainly inappropriate, I had to confess that they had an adverse effect on me. A warm, tingly kind of feeling spread through my body … but I tried my best to shake it off.

_This is neither the time nor the place …_ I rebuked myself.

I finally refocused my vision, locking my eyes with hers. I was stunned for a second when I saw that Bella's eyes were wide in shock and that she had taken a cautious, but deliberate step back.

_Shit!_

I realized at once that despite my earlier promise to keep my emotions in check around her, I obviously had failed completely to accomplish that goal … _again_. My improper thoughts about Bella … even as fleetingly as they had been … had obviously influenced my outer demeanor. I was sure that my eyes had changed color … from their usual gold to a deep black … the typical sign of feeling hunger or lust for a vampire. No wonder that she'd reacted this way. She knew what these changes mean. She was probably thinking I was about to snap and attack her … again.

For the first time today I detected signs of fear emanating from her. Her heartbeat sped up, and I could smell the scent of adrenalin spreading through her veins … taunting my inner beast which was already trying to claw its way out. _Come and get me …_

I tensed up. I knew going into the house with her right now would be a huge mistake … in there her luscious scent would be lingering in every corner and it would be much more potent than what I'd had to endure on our short ride together in her truck. Strangely, it did not make me want to bite her before but now I couldn't be so sure. I had to get away from her before the monster in me would get the upper hand after all … and although I felt in some sort of control, I wouldn't take any chances … not with her.

I carefully backed away from her, putting more distance between her and me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I … I need to go … hunting." I almost whispered, but I knew she could hear me.

She just looked at me, confusion written all over her face. But she didn't reply anything. She just stood in the entrance, not making any move, which was probably a wise choice. I didn't know what I would have done, if she'd reached out for me again like she'd done before.

"I'll be back, though, I promise." I added, feeling guilty and embarrassed for acting like a coward. She frowned slightly, but nodded in agreement.

"Later then, I guess." She muttered, turning her back on me, and went into the house.

I was already on my way into the woods, when I could hear her slamming the door. She was angry with me …

_Fuck … fuck … fuck …_

_____________

**A/N So … how do you like my Rosalie? I'm curious to know. And what about Jasper's slip up?**

**Next chapter coming up soon … I promise … the slumber party with our two hot vampires – Jasper and Peter. Wow I wished I could trade place with Bella … I'm so jealous!**


	9. Pulling back the curtain

**A/N Wow, over a hundred reviews so far … I'm stunned. Thank you so much!!!**

**I am sorry for the delay, guys, but it couldn't be prevented … I will try to do better.**

**Unfortunately (for you guys) I've changed my mind, and this chapter is solely dedicated to Bella and her thoughts. Now that she a breather while Jasper calms himself from his not so pure thoughts, she will use the opportunity to come to terms with some things … realizing some important and interesting details about Jasper's and her past relationship … if you could call it that … which will set the foundation for their new (real) relationship … I hope … as long as Jasper doesn't screw it up ;-)**

**I thought this chapter goes better standing alone … so I hope you agree with me there.**

**Enjoy!!!**

____________

Chapter 9 Pulling back the curtain

Bella POV

I went into the house in a sort of trance like state, pushing the door shut behind me with a little too much force … unintentionally though. The sudden noise startled me some, but it helped me otherwise to snap out of this uncanny stupor. I stumbled forward in the darkness on my search for the light switch, glad not to fall down in the process. Sure I wasn't so clumsy anymore, but that didn't mean that silly accidents were improbable all together. I was human after all and things like that used to happen.

When I finally found the switch, I turned on the light in the hallway, and made my way straight into the kitchen. In there I ungracefully slumped down into the nearest chair. The need to sit down was pretty overwhelming all of the sudden.

_What a day!_ I sighed heavily, crossing my arms on the table and resting my head on them. My eyes shut. I felt utterly exhausted, more emotionally worn-out than actually physically tired despite the lack of sleep I'd had last night … and every other night as well for the last five months. But somehow I've gotten used to it by now, and it didn't bother me that much anymore …

Feeling the way I did right this moment … emotionally unstable … I truly didn't envy Jasper for his gift … no quite the contrary actually. I was once again impressed how he was able to deal with it … on a daily basis nonetheless, being forced to feel what other people – human and vampire alike - were feeling on top of his own emotions. That was why I didn't blame him for losing his temper like he'd had earlier. I thought considering the circumstances and his fragile state of mind it was a natural, a reasonable reaction on his part …

But albeit … I was glad to have some time to be on my own right now, realizing that I actually needed the opportunity to come to terms with all that happened since I'd left the house this morning. I didn't know how much time I had before Jasper would come back to pick me up, but I would make good use of the time given to me, to sort _some_ things out at least before returning to the Cullen house with him. I was actually surprised how well I had been handling the whole situation … not only seeing Jasper again but meeting another strange vampire … as well as the amount of information they both had bestowed upon me …

Oh yes, I really wanted … no actually needed to go back with Jasper, because I still had more questions that needed answers, and who knew how long they would stick around before they would vanish again. My heart ached at the mere thought of them leaving me here alone once more … I didn't think I would be able to handle it very well. My abandonment issues were still something I hadn't been able to work out yet.

_Maybe we could stay in contact … via e-mail or phone calls …_ I mused, desperately, but pushing the thought away for now, to ponder over at a later time.

Strangely, despite my latest dislike of the word 'promise' I was sure that Jasper had meant what he'd said and that he indeed would be back. Like me, he probably just needed some alone-time too. Even without possessing his peculiar gift it was pretty obvious to me that Jasper was a mess … emotionally unstable like me, which might explain his latest 'freak-out' … a little bit.

I was still pretty confused about what had gone wrong outside. One minute I was just about to invite Jasper into my home … feeling a little nervous about his reaction towards our simple standard of living in contrast to the Cullen's extravagant lifestyle he was used to … and then suddenly, without any forewarning at all his beautiful golden eyes had changed color in mere seconds.

I couldn't suppress a shudder running down my spine remembering the sight of Jasper's dark orbs burning into mine. My first reaction was probably normal, expected under the circumstances. I was scared … but strangely the fear had quickly morphed into plain shock, because I hadn't known what had caused this sudden change in his demeanor.

Of course, I'd seen a vampire with black eyes before … every time Edward hadn't fed for a longer period of time his eyes had darkened as well. But not as rapidly though … and more importantly his eyes didn't used to sparkle like Jasper's just had. I couldn't help myself but to marvel over the beauty of them … despite the danger they most likely symbolized.

_I wonder what kind of color they originally were … probably blue … considering he has blond hair…_ I mused for a moment, but then I shook my head vigorously, in order to get rid of this interesting, but very distracting thought.

Of course, I knew that I should have been scared because I knew exactly what the color of black vampire eyes meant … hunger, more accurately thirst. But I just couldn't bring myself to feel that way about Jasper. Somehow deep down inside of me I knew that he would never hurt me … that he was strong enough to resist if he wanted to … like the rest of the Cullens had done. Jasper wouldn't try to bite me … of that I was certain. And showing how he'd just reacted outside, he was willing to put my safety first … having learnt his lesson the hard way … and not without consequences …

But yet, what made me wonder was the fact that I knew that he couldn't have been thirsty in the first place, since he'd hunted just half an hour ago, or so I'd presumed, and I had no open wound to tempt him otherwise … like I'd done on my birthday party. But what other reason than hunger or bloodlust could have caused such a reaction in him? I had no answer to that question … but whatever the reason was, I knew that I could trust him not to hurt me, otherwise I wouldn't allow him to be alone with me. I was not suicidal … a little naive maybe … but not suicidal.

Suddenly an old, almost forgotten memory came to my mind …

***********

_I lay on the bed in total darkness, staring at the ceiling. It was pretty late, but I still couldn't sleep. Time seemed to have lost any meaning to me in the last two days. I slept when I was tired, I ate when I felt hungry … and by God, I truly loathed this hotel suite by now … being stuck in here without being able to do anything else but waiting … was the worst thing imaginable for me at the moment. I felt so unbelievably useless … and on top of that extremely guilty._

_Just half an hour ago Edward had finally called, telling us that he, Emmett and Carlisle had unfortunately lost track of James somewhere in northern Canada and that they were now on their way back to Forks, to meet up with Esme and Rosalie, who were currently keeping an eye on my father. I had been waiting for this phone call all day long, probably driving both Alice and Jasper crazy with my restless behavior, my never-ending questions. Alice tried her best to soothe me, to reassure me with words. But the strange thing was, I was more thankful for Jasper's presence than hers … even though he didn't talk much, I knew perfectly well that he was able to sense my distress and that he kept sending me calming waves to help me to keep it together at least to some extent. But apart from his little assistance, I also got the impression that he held back … that he didn't let me experience the full amount of his power, and I was very grateful for this. I knew that I needed to feel what I was feeling, and not being sedated._

_However, I had to admit that I didn't feel much better even after the phone call from Edward, not as much as I'd hoped I would. Sure, I was relieved to hear that they all had been safe and unharmed … that nothing had happened to any of them, which had been one of my main concerns the whole time. But all the reassurances didn't help to calm down my nerves completely. Certainly because I still felt awful for the way Charlie and I had parted … for the words I'd thrown at him. I wouldn't be surprised if he would not forgive me for behaving like that … hurting him the same way my mother had done …_

_Tears began to roll down my face, and I clutched the comforter around me very tightly. I felt so lonely and lost at the moment, longing for someone to comfort me, to hold me and tell me that everything would be alright. But Alice had gone hunting, and the only person available was Jasper, who was in the other room, probably watching TV to pass the time. The whole time since we'd arrived here he'd kept a safe distance … never making any contact with me … barely more than two words and of course no physical contact. Not that I wanted him to hug me, but …_

_Suddenly there was a light knock on the door, pulling me out of my reverie._

_"Bella?" I heard Jasper's voice calling my name softly, through the door from the next room. "May I come in?"_

_"Yes," I replied, trying to get control of myself again. I didn't want him to see me cry … it was bad enough that he'd been able to sense my distress …_

_The door opened slowly, and I could make out the tall and slender shape of Jasper, standing in the doorframe. "What's wrong, Bella? Why are you crying?" He asked, concerned, almost loving._

_"I was just thinking about my father." I said, sobbing._

_"He's safe … Esme and Rose are with him as we speak. He is in no danger." He reassured me, taking two steps into the room, but didn't dare to move any closer, cautious to keep his distance … for my sake …_

_"I know …" I muttered, sniffing. "It's just …"_

_"Please, Bella. Don't worry about anything. It'll all be over soon, I'll promise." Jasper sounded so sincere but somehow also pleading that I couldn't doubt him. For a moment there I could have sworn that he was actually struggling with himself, yearning to close the distance between us and just taking me into his arms, hugging me, to provide the comfort, that I so intensely craved … but that was probably just my imagination, running wild under the stress, because he didn't make a move. I sighed._

_"Do you want me to help you sleep?" He asked cautiously, but didn't actually wait for my response, because I could already feel his influence washing over me. I relished the feeling of peace and calm, realizing that not only did it make _me_ feel better but it would provide the vampire some needed comfort as well._

_"Yes, please … thank you." I murmured, sleepily. Then a wave of lethargy hit me, and my eyes dropped shut._

_"Anything for you, Darlin'." Jasper whispered in the darkness. Even drifting still further into sleep, I clearly heard his words, and smiled before falling into peaceful dreams … for once … _

* * *

Finally, I reopened my eyes, frowning but smiling slightly at the same time, remembering that particular night at the hotel in Phoenix very clearly. Even though it had been some time ago I could still recall every detail of that night. Jasper's calming influence, his soothing voice, and his genuine concern about my feelings … which shouldn't have been that much of a surprise bearing in mind that he was an empath after all … but most of all I remembered his last words, although their significance were still a huge mystery to me, since he hadn't shown any interest to get to know me better before and not even after that night which had always pained me a little … because all the other family members … well except for Rosalie … had welcomed me with open arms. I still wondered why both them had always shown me the cold shoulder. Regrettably though, Edward had neglected to go into details when I'd asked him about it once, since I knew he had some insight information due to his gift … but he hadn't shared his knowledge with me, or at least not enough to answer my questions completely. But on the other side I was glad that he'd respected their privacy … if that was the reason why he'd kept their motives from me. If anything, I should have found the courage to confront them myself. Or at least Jasper … because Rosalie had scared the crab out of me sometimes …

Anyhow, at the time I hadn't given it too much thought … being hunted by a deranged, bloodthirsty vampire who'd taken great pleasure in torturing and almost killing me … my mind had been pretty much occupied with other things than Jasper's words or his unexpected, kind behavior. Only once or twice after our return to Forks and my long recovery, the thought of talking to Jasper about it had crossed my mind … but somehow I had never gotten the chance to put it into action. Partly because Edward had barely left my side after the incident with James' coven, feeling the need to protect me even more than before, and the other reason had been, that Jasper had gone back to his old behavior of staying away and ignoring me.

Of course I had been immensely happy that Edward had decided to stay at my side, even though he'd considered leaving me for a moment, but even then I could already tell that something significant had changed … between Edward and me … and oddly even between Jasper and me as well. I still didn't know why, but from time to time I'd used to glance at him when no one was paying attention, carefully keeping my feelings under control not to give myself away … My curiosity had been awakened and I'd longed to get to know the mysterious, silent brother, who'd always seemed to be hovering at the sidelines and never being a true member of the family …

Maybe that was the reason why I was so determined to go back to the house with him … because now that the opportunity to get to know Jasper at last had presented itself, I wouldn't let it pass again.

Oddly, even though I'd never gotten the chance to get to know Jasper very well … or at all … I had always felt safe in his presence, despite Edward's constant subtle warnings about Jasper's alleged incompetence to withstand the urge to bite me, nothing had happened the time we'd spent alone together in the hotel room. Come to think of it, I'd felt even more secure with Jasper … and all of the other Cullens … than I had felt with Edward sometimes. This notion totally made sense to me now, remembering the fact that my blood had been enticing especially to _Edward_ … and his constant reluctance of showing more physical affection than just holding hands and a chaste kiss from time to time.

Jasper hadn't shown any sign of distress today, when he was physically close to me … when was hugging me … when he was holding my hand longer than necessary … Oddly, neither had I.

_Talk about double standard …_ I thought sullenly.

I thought back to the evening of my disastrous birthday party. I would never forget the alarming sight of not only one pair of black, ravenous eyes but seven … yes seven, because even Carlisle had been affected at least to some extent by the scent of my blood … and realization hit me. It was like a veil had been lifted, and I finally was able to see the truth. Edward had been the weak one the whole time, and not Jasper.

Jasper's loss of control that night had been caused by all of them. He must have felt all of their bloodlust, and combined with his own, he hadn't stand a chance … he had been unable to shield himself from their feelings … and considering that my blood sang to Edward his bloodlust must have been the greatest of them all, so of course he'd snapped.

_Poor Jasper._

True, I hadn't blamed Jasper from the very beginning, but that had been because I'd thought it would be unfair to blame him for acting on his natural instinct. I'd never held Edward accountable for what he was either. So why should I've blamed Jasper for something he hadn't control over or had even been responsible for? After all I had been the one who'd cut herself on a simple sheet of paper … in a room full of vampires. If there was someone to blame for all this mess, it was me.

But with this new insight … and I didn't need any confirmation because I just knew it was the truth … the whole situation was that much more despicable in my opinion, especially with the new information Peter had given me. Of course, Jasper had run off, to seek refuge at the one place he'd known to be accepted, and not judged for his actions.

What made me mad was not his behavior … I did understand the reason behind his sudden but somehow cowardly exit … but the way the rest of his family had reacted. How was it possible that none of them … not even his wife … had made any kind of contact with him in all those months? He was supposed to be part of the family. Shouldn't Alice have seen where Jasper had gone? Well, on the other hand, she hadn't had a premonition about my birthday party either, which I had been a huge surprise for me at the time. Apparently her gift wasn't as reliable as I'd always used to believe. I just hoped for Jasper's sake that that was the reason … because if she'd seen him and hadn't gone after him …

_Argh …_ I groaned, shaking my head angrily, trying to get rid of these depressing thoughts. I couldn't believe that Alice would act that way, be that malicious. The thought of that kind of betrayal made me sick and unbelievably sad. No one deserved to be treated like that, especially someone as sensitive as Jasper. I knew from my own experience how devastating it was to be left behind by the same people who had sworn to protect and to love you. And I guessed that for someone like Jasper it would be twice as bad … I made a silent promise to myself, that I would try harder to keep my emotions in check, thus making it easier for him to deal with the truth … whatever the truth would be.

Suddenly, my stomach growled loudly, trying to remind me despite my lack of appetite these days that it was indeed time for some sustenance. True, I was pretty hungry by now, considering I hadn't eaten anything else than the granola bar I'd grabbed this morning, but with all the recent drama my mind was on anything else but food. With a little lack of enthusiasm, I stood up, and walked over to the kitchen counter, picking up an apple. This would be enough to sate my hunger for the moment, because Peter had promised to bring me some Italian food back from Seattle. Of course I knew that this wasn't the only reason why he'd gone to the larger city. But like I'd told Jasper on the ride here, it was sort of okay with me … and honestly what could I have done to prevent Peter from hunting? He was a vampire after all … and like any other creature he had to feed sometime. I was just glad he did it in Seattle rather than in Forks … and I took some comfort in the fact that according to Jasper his friend only feasted on the human scum …

Eating the apple, I smiled. Despite his obvious momentary lack of self-confidence Jasper had kept up with the Cullen lifestyle after he'd left the family, going to live with Peter and his mate. I could imagine that it wasn't easy for him, considering his friends didn't share his choice of diet, what was further prove for me, that Jasper was stronger than he believed. Apparently he just needed someone to tell him that. Although, I was pretty sure Peter had tried that already.

Thinking about Peter made me smile again. I wondered idly how he'd known that Italian was my favorite food. Had Jasper told him that? I doubted that. There was something weird about this red-eyed vampire, apart from the fact that he used to stick to their natural diet and was still able to walk around humans without attacking them. I felt oddly comfortable in his presence, and I was utterly intrigued by him.

Then I saw that light on the answering machine was blinking. I went over to the phone, and pushed the button.

"You have one new message," the mechanical voice announced, followed by the familiar beeping sound and then the voice of my father. "Hey, kiddo, it's your Dad … obviously. I'm just calling to see how you're doing … I've tried your cell already, but apparently you'd left without it. It's cold out here … but we are having fun. Until now Harry and Billy had more luck than me … but there is always tomorrow. Call me, when you get home. Bye." He sounded cheerful, but underneath I could detect his worry.

_I am eighteen years old, an adult for crying out loud, and here I am checking in with my father like a ten-year-old. This is ridiculous._ I fumed, silently, while I retrieved my cell phone from the living room table, where I'd left it last night. Checking the display, I could see that I had three missed calls and one text message … all from Charlie. I shook my head in exasperation. Of course, I loved Charlie, but this constantly-checking-up-on-me behavior of his was beginning to get on my last nerves. Like I was up to do something stupid? Well … maybe today I had been … sort of … but it had turned out okay-_ish_ … hadn't it?

_Well … the day is not over yet …_ I smiled mischievously, while I dialed my dad's number on my cell. He picked up only after the second ringing.

"Hey dad, it's me." I greeted him with joy to my surprise, but very glad that I was able to hide my true feelings from him. _Good practice for later … _Truth be told, I was more than irritated with my father at the moment. But then again I knew that I had to appease him, if I didn't want him to come home early and thereby ruining my plans for the rest of this evening and the next day.

We only talked for a few minutes. I reassured him that I was fine, that I'd just forgotten to take my cell phone with me when I'd left the house … which was actually the truth. Although I hated lying to him, I told him that I intended to go to bed early this evening, therefore there would be no need to check in with again. Charlie did seem to buy my rather pitiful excuse, not asking any unpleasant questions. Thank God. I could hardly tell him that I was about to spend the night with two strange men … let alone two vampires. He would think that I'd finally lost it.

Worse than that, he would probably give me an earful, reminding me what the sudden disappearance of the Cullens had done to me. Knowing that Charlie had never really liked Edward from the start, and actually would kill him on sight … or rather try … it wouldn't be wise to mention Jasper's return … at least not yet.

_Sometimes it is healthier to keep secrets from the people you love …_

Even though Charlie always had a fondness for Carlisle, his opinion of the good doctor seemed to have changed as well. Not that he spoke of him badly, but I could sense his aversion underneath his composure every time the name Cullen was mentioned. I could hardly tell Charlie the truth … so I kept my mouth shut. And most likely I didn't even have to tell Charlie about Jasper's presence at all, because I doubted that he would stay here in Forks for a prolonged visit, even though I rather hoped he would.

Before I hung up, I wished him good luck, and he promised to bring back some fish … even if it wouldn't be his own catch, which made me laugh in response.

Being otherwise occupied, I hadn't checked the time when I'd entered the house, but I assumed that I hadn't much time left before Jasper would be back. Without further delay I quickly made my way upstairs to get ready for my stay with Jasper and Peter at the former Cullen mansion. I wasn't sure if I would be able to sleep at all this night, as wound up as I was, but I thought it might be useful to pack up some things I would definitely need.

Up in my room I went to my closet, pulling out a small rucksack, I barely used. I packed my pajamas, and some change of clothes for the next day. I went into the bathroom to retrieve my bag of toiletries and a towel, putting them on top of my clothes. I took a look around my room, thinking about what else I would need to bring along.

Strangely, I knew that Jasper was back even before he announced his presence by tapping on my window.

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**A/N Next chapter will be up soon … yeah … sleepover with Peter and Jasper … is there something better ;-)**

**You know the drill … push the green button and let me know what you think of this chapter. Thanks!**


	10. Open your eyes and see

**A/N ****Like I'd promised … twice already, this chapter will be about Bella's sleepover at the former Cullen house … but I hope you guys don't expect too much excitement (or naughtiness) at this point … since it's still day one of their reunion … but rest assured there will be some more action (and maybe even some lemony goodness) in the next chapters. A slow but steady built-up … ;-)**

**And of course Charlotte will finally join the party. Curious, how she will react to Bella's presence? Well then, read and find out.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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_Previously ..._

"_I'll be back, though, I promise." I added, feeling guilty and embarrassed for acting like a coward. She frowned slightly, but nodded in agreement._

"_Later then, I guess." She muttered, turning her back on me, and went into the house._

_I was already on my way into the woods, when I could hear her slamming the door. She was angry with me …_

_Fuck … fuck … fuck …_

Chapter 10 Open your eyes and see what's right in front of you

Jasper POV

I didn't go very far. It almost felt like an invisible force was hindering me from putting too much distance between Bella and myself. I blamed my guilt for feeling this way. But considering that I wasn't going to hunt anyway … only needing some fresh air to calm myself down before I would return to Bella's house … I didn't need to venture too deep into the woods. I leaned against a large, massive tree, closing my eyes and taking in deep, though unnecessary breaths, in order to tame my beast and thus regaining full control over myself again. I was still confused as hell about my earlier behavior.

_It can't be that am I lusting after Bella, can it? No, of course not … I couldn't … more importantly I shouldn't … because it is wrong on so many levels … Yes, she is beautiful, very beautiful … and I like her … I always have … but that's about it though, right?_ I reasoned with myself, trying to wrap my head around the possibility that it might actually be true. Of course I wasn't looking for a new relationship … not so soon after realizing my wife had left me, without a goodbye. I was damaged goods. But on the other hand I was a vampire, a man … with natural desires.

_That doesn't give you the right to lust after the first woman you'll come across … _I scolded myself.

But still, it was hard to deny that I didn't feel _something_ for her, something _more_ … something that wasn't there before. At this point I could be glad if I would be able to earn her friendship and to be honest I wasn't sure that she would grant me that. After all, I was responsible for the Cullens departure and therefore for breaking her heart. Yes, I had received her forgiveness, but I still didn't believe that I deserved it. Bella was too selfless … maybe even too selfless for her own good. The fact, that Bella had forgiven me for my attempt on her life and my inexcusable behavior earlier today was more than I deserved. I couldn't betray her trust in me, by behaving like a jerk.

I was still overwhelmed by the fact how well our reunion had gone, well except for the _minor_ hiccups. Bella had shown no fear at all, or she had been hiding it very well, whatever. And I'd gotten the distinct impression that she really wanted to get to know me, and Peter too. What was it about us that lured her in? I knew it wasn't just our 'good looks', because Bella wasn't that small-minded. In fact, I'd felt the same kind of curiosity coming from her in the past, especially after we'd returned from Phoenix, but at the time I'd decided against pursuing the issue … for many reasons. True, I'd wanted to get to know better, but with Edward around, watching her every step, never leaving her alone, I'd stayed away.

But the most amazing discovery was, that for the first time in a very long time I felt truly comforted, almost loved by someone. I'd never imagined that person would be a human, above all not Bella. I hadn't realized before today how much I longed for a place I could call my home, a true home. Yes, I felt loved by both Peter and Charlotte, and I knew that they wouldn't mind me staying with them, even if it meant forever. But I still felt like an intruder, despite the fact that we were family. I missed having someone that I could call my own. Yes, I was selfish that way.

I wanted Bella's friendship, her trust … and I would be happy enough to get just that. She was the most amazing person I've ever met in my long existence, so generous, loving, and kind … and I knew that her emotions were the purest I've ever experienced, not at all fabricated. I would do anything to win her over … as a friend. The first step would be to ask for her forgiveness for my earlier behavior … again. I wasn't sure how I could explain the reason behind it, since I wasn't even a hundred percent sure, why I'd reacted that way. And sharing my speculations with her would be way too awkward.

_Well, no need to put this off any longer. It's time to face the music …_ I told myself, walking slowly back to Bella's home.

I stood outside her house for a few minutes longer, contemplating my options. I could sense that Bella was upstairs, and even though I knew that the more appropriate way would be to ring the doorbell, I decided against it. As I stood there underneath her window, looking at the nearby tree, I couldn't help myself.

_This is a bad idea …_ I rationalized, but my body had a mind of its own, and I was already climbing up the tree. I could see directly into Bella's room. She was busy packing a small bag, and the sight of that gave me the courage to proceed. _She hasn't changed her mind … thank God …_

I lightly knocked on the window. To my utter astonishment she didn't seemed to be startled by my sudden appearance. No, she wasn't surprised, but there was still a slight frown on her face.

_Fuck!_

Bella walked slowly over, opening the window. "What is it with you Cullens? Entering my house through a window … We do have a front door, remember." Her voice was harsh, but I could see her eyes sparkling with humor. The half smile Bella gave me was genuine, a little playful even and I relaxed a little, sighing mentally, relieved that she wasn't really angry with me … just a little irritated. _I can live with that …_

"Oh, I remember." I retorted lightly, flinging myself inside her room. I landed safely on my feet, straightening up and taking a curious look around. It was a small room, and her scent was indeed very potent in here as I'd expected. But at least, it didn't make me wanna bite her.

"And just for the record I was never a _Cullen_." I added, stating a true fact.

"Whatever … Hale then." She countered, returning to the task of packing up her stuff.

"Much better … but I won't go by that name any longer either." I said, even surprising myself with that admission. I hadn't really thought about it yet, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew it would be right step to take, a step forward into my new life, a life without the Cullen clan. I made a mental note to call J. Jenks on Monday to set up an appointment. Good thing, we were already in Washington, since his office was located in Seattle.

That statement finally caught her full attention. "So what is your name now?"

"Whitlock." I answered proudly. "It is my real name, actually."

"Whitlock? Hmm … _Jasper Whitlock_ … I like it." She murmured, seemingly lost in thought. A slight blush appeared on her face, like she was embarrassed. I couldn't be sure though, because her emotions were once again hard to read, almost like she was trying to block me on purpose. However, I wasn't able to deny that I liked the way my name sounded coming out of her mouth. A warm, fuzzy kind of feeling was spreading through my entire body …

I did my best to shake that distracting feeling off, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, just in case I did project my feelings unintentionally. But luckily she hadn't noticed anything.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked casually.

"Yes … wait a sec … I have to pack the charger for my cell, just in case someone will call me." She answered, walking over to her vanity and grabbed the thing. "Now, I'm done. Let's go."

The excitement in her voice was catching, and I smiled at her. She returned that smile, and for a few moments we were trapped in each other's gazes. I was the first to look away, breaking the spell.

"Through the window then?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood. I still felt slightly awkward.

She shook her head, laughing out loud. God I loved that sound! "No way, pal. We use the door like normal people." She insisted.

"_Normal_ people?" I raised an eyebrow in question, making her snigger.

She slapped me playfully on the shoulder. Of course, it didn't hurt, but there was the same tingly kind of feeling like before, when she'd hold my hand back in the house. Why did a simple touch have such a great effect on me? Was it her? I started to get a little nervous, not knowing what it meant.

Bella led the way, walking down the stairs and grabbing her jacket on the way out. I followed her quietly, still kinda lost in my own thoughts. I waited patiently for her to lock the door. Then she turned around, looking at me expectantly. "Shall we?"

"Sure." I nodded, turning around. "Hop on."

When she didn't make a move, I turned around again. She stared at me, with a strange look on her face. "What's wrong, Bella? If you don't want to … I could still get the car." I offered quickly.

"Nah, that's not it." She answered honestly, shaking her head. "What if somebody sees us … I'm not ready yet to tell my Dad. It was hard enough to lie to him at all."

But I still couldn't understand her hesitation though. Maybe it reminded her too much of Edward. I knew that they had used to 'travel' that way in the past. "Then what?" I asked, carefully.

She smiled warmly. "I don't have a problem with you carrying me on your back, if that's what you are thinking." She sounded sincere. Then suddenly her gates were open again, and I could feel the honesty and trust behind her words. It warmed my dead heart, but I was still confused.

Bella could see that, and continued. "Do you mind, if we'll walk? I wanted to talk to you about something before we go back to the house … without being overheard by someone else." I knew she was referring to Peter.

"No, of course not." I answered, warily. I was very curious, and a little concerned. But whatever was on her mind, I would listen to her. "I would like that, too. This way."

She threw her bag back over her shoulders, and followed my lead. For a few minutes, which felt more like hours, we walked in silence side by side through the forest. I matched her human pace, not wanting her to trip and hurt her herself. She seemed to be focused on the trail, watching her every step. I fought with myself, thinking of saying something, to open up the conversation. She'd said she wanted to talk and now she was giving me silent treatment. My anxiety and curiosity were nearly unbearable by now. But it also didn't escape my notice that Bella was fidgeting nervously with the hem of her jacket, like she wasn't sure how to start.

"It wasn't your fault." She stated simply, finally breaking the silence.

My mind was blank. Which incident was she referring to?

"The birthday party." She clarified, like she was answered my thoughts.

"What?" I replied, still not able to follow her thought process.

Bella laughed at my bewilderment, before she continued. "I've finally figured it all out. The reason why you'd attacked me that day … well … I think, no I _know_ it was only due to the others. Their combined feelings of bloodlust, especially Edward's, had pushed you over the edge. How could you not react the way you did? You are an empath."

I listened to her very closely, carefully monitoring her emotions as well. She truly meant what she said. I was simply stunned speechless. I knew she was a very observant person, for a human. But the connections she'd drawn showed me once again, how insightful she actually was. She wasn't solely selfless and forgiving, but compassionate and smart enough to see the truth, where I could not.

"That is why I forgave you right after it happened, because even then I knew that it wasn't right to blame you for something, you weren't responsible for. So please, Jasper, do yourself a favor and stop feeling guilty about something that wasn't your fault." She pleaded with me, locking her eyes on mine. Once again I lost myself in the depth of them. We had already stopped walking by this point.

This idea had never crossed my mind, that I'd only snapped as a result of the combined emotions of my entire family, probably because I hadn't allowed myself to recognize the truth, to open my eyes and see what was right in front of me. I was ruled by my guilt.

_Leave it to Bella to show me the errors in my way of thinking … _

"You are right." I finally said, gracing her with a timid smile. Bella sighed, in what I guessed was relief. "You are amazing, do you know that?"

Bella blushed, averting her eyes to the ground. I cautiously stepped forward, reaching out with my right hand. I placed one of my fingers under her chin, carefully lifting her head, thus forcing her to look me in the eyes. "You are." I repeated insistently, and added in a soft tone. "Thank you for believing in me, Darlin'."

For the first time I projected my own emotions on purpose in her presence. I allowed her to feel the full amount of gratitude and love I felt for her. Her eyes opened wide in shock, and she swallowed hard. A single tear ran down her cheek. I fought hard against the strong urge to lean in and just kiss her.

_What? Why would I do that? Do I love her? … Oh my God … I'm falling for Bella … _I realized all of the sudden. The idea was both frightening and wonderful, stupid and amazing. But deep inside I knew that this feeling, his yearning for her wouldn't just go away, even if I'd wanted it.

"You're welcome." I heard Bella whispering. She wiped away the tear with the back of her hand, giving me a weak, but warm smile. Then she turned away from me, and began to walk again. I couldn't feel her emotions anymore, and it made me anxious. The awkward silence was back. Maybe she'd closed herself of again, because I'd frightened her with the intensity of my emotions.

I quickly caught up with her. "Bella, I need to ask you something." I requested.

"Sure, Jasper, go ahead." She permitted.

"I cannot sense your emotions all of the time. Do you know why that is?" I asked, trying to sound more relaxed than I actually was at the moment. In truth, I was a little concerned there might be something wrong with my gift, which wouldn't be such a huge surprise. I hadn't been feeling like myself for quite some time now, and even my own feelings were all over the place these days. Especially now, with those unexpected new feelings I had for this human girl …

"I am glad it's working …" Bella replied.

"What is working?" I interrupted her, totally puzzled by her response.

"Well, I don't know how exactly it is working … but I could see that my emotions were getting to you, affecting you and not in a good way … and you seemed to be so stressed and hurt already, I didn't want to burden you with my own emotional baggage, so I thought I could at least try to keep my emotions under control … to shield you, to help you." She clarified, looking at me. I simply stared at her, trying to wrap my head around what she was telling me.

_Is this woman for real? She must be an angel. No wonder I'm falling for her … the things she's doing just to make me feel better … she is amazing …I don't deserve her … she is far too good …but I want her, need her around …_

"So you can't feel anything from me?" Bella's question broke through my musing.

"No, I can feel you alright, but it seems that you are deciding the when and how." I answered, not able to take my eyes of her, even if she wasn't looking at me.

"Is that bad?" She questioned, letting me feel her uncertainty, and guilt?

"No, it's just unusual." I assured her at once. She had no idea how much I appreciated her effort, to help me in such a way. "I just didn't know that you could do that." I added. And it was true. I've never come across someone who was able to shield himself from _my_ power. Of course, I knew that she obviously was immune to Edward's gift, but his ability worked differently than mine. I wondered whether her immunity had been the only thing that had drawn him to her … other than the scent of her blood of course. I hoped that it wasn't the case, for her sake. But then again, why did he leave her, after telling her over and over again that he loved her?

_I will never do that to her …_ I vowed to myself. _As long as she'll have me around, I'll stay …_

Suddenly Bella's stomach made that annoying grumbling noise again.

"Well, as much as I enjoy our walk and little _chat_, I think it's time for the human to get some food. Wouldn't you agree? So how about you hop on my back now, and will be at the house in no time." I proposed.

"Okay." She agreed, almost cheerfully. Whether it was due to the prospect to get something to eat very soon or the piggy ride, I didn't know, nor did I care. I was just glad that she didn't seem to have a problem being so physically close to me. I turned around and bent my knees, helping her on my back. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around my body and slung her arms around my neck. I could feel the warmth of her body even through the many layers of her clothes. I sighed in pleasure.

"Are you alright?" Bella asked, sounding a little worried.

_Shit. She may not feel me, but she can hear me …_ I reminded myself.

"Yes, everything is fine." I assured her quickly, with words and a tiny dose of my own emotions. "Ready?"

"Yes." She answered, sounding very sure and a little excited.

And then I ran, gripping her legs securely, but not too tight to hurt her. I knew this experience wasn't new for her. I might not be as fast as Edward, but fast enough. Her emotions didn't give me any indication whether she was terrified, or if she was enjoying this ride as much as I did. I hoped it was the latter.

I came to a halt at the bank of the river, turning my head slightly. "Hmm, Bella," I began, awkwardly. "I don't know if it will be safe for you on my back when I make this jump."

"I trust you." She whispered into my ear. Her breath tickled my skin, and a pleasant shiver ran down my spine, affecting me in the worst way.

_Stop it, right now! Concentrate … you don't want to hurt her …_

"Hold on tight." I ordered gently, and then I leaped gracefully over the river, landing safely on the other side. I let go of Bella, a little reluctantly though, already missing her closeness, the warmth of her body. I turned around, to take a look at Bella. Her face was flushed, and she seemed to be a little weak in her knees.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, worried that she might not be.

Her reaction took me totally of guard. "That was freaking awesome. Can we do that again sometime?" Bella's eyes shone with excitement.

I laughed in response. "Sure, anytime, darlin'. Come on, Peter is expecting us." I held out my hand to her, and to my surprise and utter delight she accepted it at once. We walked slowly hand in hand into the house.

***

Peter was already waiting for us in the kitchen. It was pretty easy to tell by the different shade of red in his eyes, that he'd indeed fed while he had been in Seattle, picking up the food for Bella. Normally, he wouldn't have to feed so soon, since he'd just been hunting with Charlotte only yesterday. But apparently, he was just like me … not taking any chances to ensure Bella's safety. I was both glad and surprised. In all the time that we'd known each other, not even one single human being had awakened the slightest interest in him … other than to quench his thirst of course. And now here he was, excited like a kid on Christmas Eve by the prospect of spending more time with a mere human girl … with Bella.

"Hey, guys. What took you so long? I've been waiting for hours." Peter greeted us, sounding very impatient and annoyed, like a mom expecting her kids to come home for dinner on time. He had his arms crossed, tapping his foot. Of course, I knew right away that it was just a ploy on his part, because I could sense his amusement bubbling underneath his facade. For a moment there I was a little worried how Bella would react to this silly act of his, but apparently there was no need for feeling that way. Once again I had to admit that I was impressed by how at ease she was with him despite the fact he was a vampire … a human-blood-drinking vampire. Quite obviously, she wasn't the shy girl anymore she'd been when she was with Edward. Like his leaving had freed her … loosened some of her inhibitions …

"Sorry, it's my fault. I had to make a phone call … and then I couldn't decide what to pack … being a girl and all." Bella replied with mock embarrassment, playing right along. "I hope you can forgive me." She sounded very convincing, giving him a rather cute look from under her eyelashes.

Peter laughed hard, and I joined in. "You've got some great humor there, little lady. I like it. Now, come, eat … before your food gets any colder." He motioned to the kitchen table, which was loaded with at least five different dishes. He pulled back a chair like a gentleman and Bella took a seat.

"Oh my God, Peter. Are you crazy? I'm never gonna be able to eat all of it. It's way too much." She complained, but eagerly opened the first dish, groaning appreciatively. The smell of the food was nauseating, and Peter and I did our best to hide our aversion from her.

"I didn't know what you'd prefer so I brought you some choices." Peter said, shrugging. He handed her a plastic set of knife, fork and spoon. "I brought these as well …in case there weren't any around."

"Thanks." Bella replied, digging enthusiastically into the food. Peter and I were just about to leave the kitchen, when she stopped us. "Please stay, I don't mind having company … or _share_ my food." She gave us both a challenging look, causing Peter to chuckle again.

"Yes to keeping you company … but a definite no to the food. Not everybody likes to play human like Emmett." I said, happy that she wanted me … um us to stick around while she ate. I still shuddered slightly at the mere thought of actually eating this crap, because it always was a double torture. Bella giggled at my expression, and I gave her a genuine smile in return. I really liked her laughter. Seeing her happy made me happy.

Peter and I sat down on the opposite side of the table. We let Bella eat in peace, keeping the subjects of conversation light. Peter told Bella about his and Charlotte's last vacation in South America. By the look on Bella's face it was clear to me that she wasn't only enjoying to hear about their adventures but that she was indeed a little jealous too. Knowing that her family wasn't as well-fared as any one of us, she probably hadn't been anywhere else but some few places in the US. Given the chance I could easily take her to all the places in the world she wanted to see.

_You're getting ahead of yourself, Whitlock … she doesn't even like you that way … and why would she?_ I reminded myself, sadly. Hell, I still didn't know why I suddenly felt that way, even though it felt so right. I pushed those thoughts away for the moment, to ponder over later, preferably alone, without Peter glancing curiously at me. Did he already know something has changed? I wouldn't be surprised if he actually did.

After Bella was done eating, she put the leftovers in the fridge, mumbling something about waste, causing Peter to chuckle again. She took a bottle of soda, and then we all relocated into the living room again. Bella sat down on the couch, and I joined her there without a second thought.

Bella opened the conversation again. "Peter, did you know that Jasper's surname is actually Whitlock?"

"Sure." Peter answered, with a big grin on his face. "It's mine and Charlotte's, too." I couldn't suppress a smile, when I felt Peter's pride hidden underneath his simple answer, almost matching my own. His choice of taking my surname wasn't due to memory loss of his own name, but his way of showing gratitude for what I've done for him and Charlotte in the past, saving their lives and freeing them.

"It is?" Bella was surprised. "But you guys aren't actually related … I mean through blood?" She was looking at me for an explanation.

But Peter beat me to the punch. "No, but we are connected through the same venom."

I growled a low warning. Peter might not have a problem telling Bella everything about our past, but I wasn't ready for that particular topic of conversation, not yet anyway. But right now we were heading straight in that direction. To be honest, I would neglect talking about it altogether, but I'd promised Bella to tell her about our history just this morning. Despite my unwillingness to share my past with her, because I truly feared her reaction to all horrors I've lived through and had inflicted on others, I intended to keep that promise. But all in due time …

"I am their sire." I stated simply, but my voice spoke volumes.

"Oh," was Bella's only response. She didn't push for further details, which both surprised and appeased me. Maybe the torn look on my face told her to hold back the questions, whirling in her mind, at least for the time being. I knew that she was very curious, but she was also very patient.

"Are there any games around?" Peter asked, wisely changing the subject. No doubt, he'd sensed my discomfort, and the sudden tension in the air.

"I doubt that." I chuckled. I was sure that there was still a chess board in my study, but definitely no other board games, whatsoever. And I doubted that Emmett hadn't left even one of his precious video games behind. It would have been useless anyway, since there was no TV here.

"Well, how about you snatch your guitar, and play something." My brother offered as an alternative. I met Bella's eyes, and they shone with delight and surprise.

"I didn't know that you could play." She stated.

"Well there is a lot you don't know about me, yet, Darlin'." I drawled, and Peter rolled his eyes at me, hiding his chuckle behind a fake cough. I quickly went upstairs, and within a minute or so I was back on the couch, playing. Bella opened up again, sharing her emotions of joy and comfort with me. I'd played the guitar for half an hour, when Bella suddenly stood up.

"Please excuse me … the human does need to use the bathroom." Bella announced, leaving us alone in the living room. Peter laughed at her antics.

"She is something, isn't she?" Peter stated out of the blue, in a low voice.

"Hmm …" I mumbled, my eyes locked on the bathroom door.

"So, am I right to presume that we will not return back to Arizona tomorrow?" Peter pressed.

"Er … well … probably not … I need to fix the damage before we leave, so I guess we will be here until Tuesday." My answer sounded even lame to me.

"Good." Peter said, trying to sound indifferent, but failing. I could sense excitement bubbling underneath his calm feature, which finally made me look at him. There was a huge grin on his face, the one that always told me that he was up to no good.

"_Peter_." I moaned. "What are you up to now?"

"Nothing major … I am just glad that you'd decided to stay a little while longer… since I've already called Char to join us here. I'm pretty sure she will be here pretty soon. She is very excited to meet _our_ girl." I snarled at him, partly out of annoyance that he hadn't shared his plan with me before making this decision. The other reason was the possessive pronoun he used.

_She is mine!_

"Now, now, Major … no need to act all possessive … you know damn well that I'm a one-woman vampire." Peter placated me.

"I am so glad to hear that." A female voice stated. Charlotte had appeared literally out of nowhere. Peter wasn't the least bit surprised, considering he was able to sense his mate's presence almost a mile away, but she had taken me totally off guard. That kind of thing seemed to happen too frequently lately, and it was beginning to freak me out. Was it because of Bella? Did she capture my entire attention, thus leaving me vulnerable? If that was the case, it would be a problem.

Charlotte flitted over to Peter, embracing her mate and planting a passionate kiss on his lips. "I've missed you."

Peter returned the kiss with favor, and I groaned, because I could sense that both of them would gladly take this further if it would be possible. Charlotte giggled. "What's up with you, Jasper?"

"Ah, don't mind him, honey. He's just jealous because he isn't getting some." Peter smirked at me, and I gave him the finger as an answer. Charlotte made herself comfortable in Peter's lap.

"So, where's the human?" She asked, glancing around the room. She was radiating nothing but curiosity.

Right on cue the bathroom door opened and Bella stepped out. She was clearly startled by the Charlotte's presence, but not afraid.

* * *

Bella POV

I went straight into the down floor bathroom, happy to discover it still was fully stocked, towels, soap, even toilet paper. I had wondered before why they hadn't cleaned out the house completely, but then I remembered that they had returned to this place once again after having it left for a couple decades. So it kinda made sense, if they' planned to come back some day, probably when I wasn't here anymore. And they didn't have a need for a fridge or microwave anyway, so I guess this was the reason way they had left certain items behind. At least the ones, they had no use for anyway … with them being vampires and all.

After using the toilet (and trying hard not to think about the sensitive hearing of the vampires in the other room), I stood a few minutes in front of the sink, looking into the mirror.

_Is it just my imagination, or do I look differently?_ Yes, there were still dark shadows underneath my eyes, clear evidence of my sleep deprivation lately, but suddenly there was a slight, but healthier looking blush on my cheeks, that hasn't been there for the last five months. To be honest I even felt more alive, too. _All due to the company of vampires …_ I chuckled.

Even in here, I could hear them whispering in the living room, but of course I wasn't able to make out the words. But even though I was pretty sure they were talking about me. _Acting like some common human chicks …_

By now I was quite used to their strange habit of communicating in their vampire ways: Speaking quietly, too fast and too low for a human to follow; quick and subtle glances, almost like they were having silent conversations. I knew that they probably thought I hadn't noticed anything, but I hadn't missed anything just chosen to ignore this kind of behavior, even though it was beginning to drive me nuts. Of course, I didn't believe that they were hiding some vital information from me, like Edward had always done, but I knew that they were hiding something. For the moment I shrugged it off. We barely knew each other, and I hoped that with enough time, Jasper would open up to tell me what was on his mind.

I washed and dried my hands, taking one last glance in the mirror, and then I finally left the bathroom. When I'd left the room just a few minutes ago there had only been two vampires, where now there were three. The new arrival was a female one, about the height of Esme, definitely taller than Alice, but smaller than Rosalie. Her hair was a shade of dark blond, slightly curled, barely reaching her shoulders. She was truly magnificent, beautiful like all the other female vampires I had come across so far in my life, but there was also something fierce in her feature, something strong. She didn't really scare me, but something told me, that crossing her in any kind of way would be rather foolish (like I would actually challenge a vampire). I had noticed the same kind of feature on Peter's face, but hadn't acknowledged it before. To be honest, taking a closer look at Jasper, I could see it on him too.

_What the fuck happened to all of them? It must have something to do with their past connection …_

Just then I realized that all eyes were on me, examining my reaction minutely. Of course, I was stunned, but not afraid. Even though, Jasper was at my side at once, almost like he was trying to protect me or something. But since the strange vampire sat on Peter's lap, I assumed that she was his mate, Charlotte. So there was no need for me to be afraid. I noticed Peter smiling at me warmly.

But somehow, I just couldn't take my eyes of Charlotte. She was actually gaping at me, her eyes wandering between Jasper and me. Before the silence could become any weirder, she quickly composed herself. She stood up and slowly walked over to me.

"Ah, where are my manners? I'm Charlotte. You must be Bella. It's nice to meet you." She reached out one of her hands in greeting, giving me a small, but genuine smile.

* * *

**A/N I am so sorry it took me so long to update, but I wasn't quite sure where to go with this chapter. Especially with Jasper's discovery of his feeling toward Bella, maybe some of you will think it is too soon.**

**What's up with Charlotte's weird reaction? Does Bella already feel something for Jasper as well? And Peter, does he know what's going on? Let me hear your theories, I am curious.**

**Well, I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading!**


	11. I'm here for you

**A/N Thanks for all the reviews. And congratulation to all those of you who'd figured out what Charlotte's power is, before it will be officially revealed in this chapter. I'm so proud of you … ;-) And I am very glad that no one had thought our two lovebirds aren't moving too fast.**

**Now we are back to the second part of the sleepover … more mysteries to unravel.**

**Enjoy!!!**

Chapter 11 I'm here for you

Charlotte POV

I honestly wasn't the least bit thrilled about taking this trip to Forks. But then again my aversion had more to do with the memories linked to this particular place, memories specifically connected with some of its former inhabitants than the town itself. Forks was actually a great place for a vampire to settle down for a while, considering the sun rarely made its appearance here, in particular if one wanted to walk around in daylight without drawing any (more) attention.

But despite my dislike of this place, I went anyway. Mostly because I dearly missed my mate, and my brother, of course, even though it only had been a couple of hours since their departure. Sure, I've expected both of my men to return within two days the most, but now it did seem there was something else that kept Jasper there instead of just grabbing his stuff and leave like planned. Peter's messages had been cryptic to say the least, but it was pretty obvious that this Bella chick was the reason for them to stay in this town longer than actually necessary. Knowing how Peter usually was around humans, this girl had to be something quite out of the ordinary to capture his interest. Or there was something else going on …

I drove the rental car down the overgrown path leading towards the Cullen house. I still couldn't believe that they had abandoned this place. I knew that both Esme and Carlisle had been very fond of this house and this town, which was why they used to return here after staying away for almost seventy years. So why did they leave now?

Something told me that they had also neglected to leave a note behind, telling Jasper where they'd gone at least. I tried my best to keep my cool, not wanting to make Jasper feel any worse than he probably already did. I yearned to see him smile again … a true smile of genuine happiness. He of all people deserved it most considering what he'd been through with Maria and what he had to endure ever since … in his desperate search for a better life. I highly doubted that Alice had ever realized how broken and vulnerable Jasper actually was. She had no idea who the real Jasper was … not the warrior but the amazing person underneath. The fact that she hadn't made any contact with him in the past five months, proved my point. She didn't care about him at all. He had been just a fling for her … someone strong to protect her, but nothing more.

But I truly believed that there was someone out there for Jasper, someone like Peter was for me … a true friend, a lover, a soul mate. Maybe he just had to wait a little while longer.

I parked the car behind what I assumed to be the human's vehicle. _A rusty, old truck, how interesting._ I grabbed the bag from the passenger seat and got out of the car. Even from this distance I could smell the fragrance of the human. It wasn't mouthwatering, but very sweet indeed … like some fruit I couldn't identify right away, probably because it had been too long since I'd had any human food. _Whatever …_

Anyhow, as 'ordered' I had made a stop on the way to grab a little snack, so I wasn't any kind of threat to her … for the moment at least. Like Peter I wasn't used to spend quality time with humans, so this would definitely be a new challenge for me, in more ways than one. But most of all, I was curious and quite excited to meet the girl responsible for this whole mess …

A familiar shiver ran through my entire body, awakening every nerve on its path. This sensation was getting stronger the closer I got to the house. It was the usual indicator of my mate's presence, always telling me when he was close by, thus providing me with comfort and peace. It was in fact a pleasurable feeling, something like a warm tingle, similar to the feeling of Peter's gentle caresses of my skin.

I stopped on the porch, deliberating if I should knock on the door or just go in. But then I heard Jasper's response to Peter's revelation that he'd invited me to come here. That sneaky husband of mine hasn't given our brother any warning. No wonder I could sense Jasper's anger even from this distance.

_What are you up to, indeed …_ I mused, holding my position for the moment.

"Now, now, Major … no need to act all possessive … you know damn well that I'm a one-woman vampire." I could hear Peter say, trying to calm down Jasper. I knew that Peter has sensed me coming as well, long before I even made my way up the stairs, so the last part of his statement was for both our benefits.

_This is my cue …_ I thought, finally entering the house.

"I am so glad to hear that." I said, trying to sound a little angry, which I wasn't of course. I knew perfectly well, that Peter would never betray me. He was mine and I was his … for all eternity. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I flung myself straight into Peter's waiting, strong arms and kissed him with fervor. "I've missed you." Peter returned the kiss with the same enthusiasm, and I moaned into his mouth, already wanting more than just a kiss.

I could hear Jasper groan in annoyance, and I giggled like a human schoolgirl. "What's up with you, Jasper?" I asked innocently. Jasper's reaction wasn't unexpected. He was feeling uncomfortable as usual, whenever Peter and I got in the mood, so to speak. I sniggered.

"Ah, don't mind him, honey. He's just jealous because he isn't getting some." Peter smirked at Jasper, who was giving him the finger.

I snuggled into Peter's lap. "So, where's the human?" I asked, glancing around the room.

Right on cue the bathroom door opened and the human girl stepped out. She was clearly startled by my sudden presence, but not afraid. Bella was about my height, but with dark long hair, almost reaching down to her waist. She was really pretty for a human, a natural beauty, some might say. And I could already tell that she felt truly comfortable in the presence of our kind, despite the danger we presented. Her brown eyes were wide open, taking in everything around her, almost like she was testing the atmosphere that way. But I guessed she was just looking for reassurance from Jasper and Peter. No one said a word. Tension began build up.

Jasper moved to Bella's side, not for protection, but for comfort, and support. I noticed him grabbing her hand, their fingers entwining. It looked like an ordinary gesture, almost like it had been always that way between them. She didn't flinch or even pulled her hand away. Quite the contrary, both of them visibly relaxed, when their skin met. Did they realize this happening?

That was when I saw it.

_What_

_The_

_Fuck!_

I was openly gapping at both of them, simply couldn't believe what I saw. Their auras merged. It was hard to tell where one began and the other ended. I clearly remember the color of his aura when he'd been with Alice. A constant bright blue, while hers had shifted between green and yellow. I didn't have a science degree in analyzing auras, and I didn't need one, because from the first moment I'd met Alice, watching her around Jasper, I knew that they didn't belong together. They might have been close friends, maybe even lovers, but not soul-mates … nobody could foul me when it came to see _that_.

The thing was apart from my mate Peter no one knew about the full capacity of my gift. And why should I tell anyone about it? It wasn't really something useful … like Jasper's empathy or Edward's telepathy. Peter and I used to make our private jokes about it, picturing me working as a marriage counselor … _Sorry guys, but this isn't going to work, because you are wrong for each other … you don't belong together …_

Of course, Jasper knew that I could see auras, but he didn't know that my gift could identify soul mates, too. Both Peter and I had agreed that Jasper had to figure it out on his own, so I hadn't interfered in his relationship with Alice. Right now, I thought we might have made a huge mistake in keeping him in the dark about that. We could have saved him a lot of pain, if we would have just told him the truth …

_What's done is done. No use to dwell on things you cannot change …_

In fact, what I was witnessing right in front of me now, was some I haven't seen in a very long time … or ever. Peter's and my auras did the same merging thing, but the color was a steady red. Jasper's and Bella's auras did constantly change color. It almost looked like a rainbow. I didn't know the reason behind this behavior. Maybe it had something to do with Jasper's gift. But one thing was for sure, the strength of their bond already matched that of mine and Peter's.

_Incredible … unbelievable … amazing …_

I didn't quite notice that I was still staring at both of them, not until Peter gave me a slight nudge in the back. I finally snapped out of my reverie. I could see that Jasper was watching me very closely, probably testing my emotions, trying to decipher what my problem was. Even Bella couldn't take her eyes of me.

I shook my head, unnoticeable for the human's eyes, and finally stood up and slowly walked over to her and Jasper.

"Ah, where are my manners? I'm Charlotte. You must be Bella. It's nice to meet you." I said, giving her an apologetic smile. I held out a hand in greeting, which she took without hesitation. The warmth of her skin wasn't unpleasant, but still unnerving to same degree, because I wasn't quite used to it. Not like Jasper, apparently …

"It's nice to meet you, too. I am Bella." She replied very politely, but underneath I could sense that she was just as confused as I was. Unfortunately, the awkward silence was back.

"Okay … I think it's time for Char and me to get some fresh air." Peter announced, deliberately taking my hand and pulling me along with him. I didn't argue, not knowing how to explain my weird behavior to Jasper or Bella. "See you guys in the morning. Sleep tight, little lady." He said, winking at Bella.

Jasper POV

I silently watched Peter dragging his mate along with him out of the house, and then they both vanished quickly into the night. Oddly, I hadn't noticed before that it was already dark outside, since my vision worked just the same in the dark as it did during the daytime.

_Time really does fly when you're having fun …_

Knowing that Peter and Charlotte weren't going to return to the house until the next morning, I assumed that they would probably spend the night in the little cottage, hidden deep in the woods, far from any humans. I didn't know in what condition Emmett and Rose had left it, after spending one of their nights there the last time, but since neither Peter nor Charlotte really required a bed … at least not for sleeping … I knew that they would be okay out there.

"Well, that was awkward. I wonder what that was all about." Bella mused loudly but more talking to herself than to me.

"Beats me." I mumbled under my breath, gazing into the empty space, still lost in my own thoughts. Charlotte's weird behavior had made me very uncomfortable, for sure. But most of all I was still confused as hell about the emotions I'd been receiving from her. First there was shock, then recognition, quickly followed by relief and happiness. I still wasn't able to make head or tails, wondering just as Bella, what Charlotte had seen when she'd scrutinized both of us so thoroughly. And their sudden departure did make the situation even worse.

When Bella abruptly let go of my hand, I woke up out of my trance. I looked at her, feeling a little uncertain, but still mostly confused. She stood with her arms crossed next to me, just watching me for a second, like she was reading my face or my feelings. I didn't really care, because I was once again trapped in the depth of her brown eyes, her mere presence. Suddenly I was really glad that my friends had left us alone …

"_Really_? You want me to believe that you don't have any idea why she'd stared at me … at _us_ like that?" Bella asked incredulously. I was actually a little surprised that she'd even heard my answer in the first place.

But seeing her like that just made me smile. Once again, she'd been able to take me by surprise. I was clearly underestimating her in general, but especially her ability to see more than I thought she could. "Not exactly."

"Explain!" She demanded, firmly but still politely.

I took her hand again, guiding her towards the couch again. She didn't mind the physical contact, or my way of acting, just being her usual patient self. I loved that about her. I knew that she was curious, longing for answers, but she was never nosy. And it wasn't like I didn't want to answer all her questions, but I honestly didn't know what to tell her, because I wasn't quite sure about the reason behind Charlotte's earlier behavior.

I took in an unnecessary breath, before I began to speak. "Bella, the only thing I know for sure is that Charlotte doesn't mean you any harm …"

"I know that." She interrupted me, for once sounding impatient. I smirked at her stubbornness.

"Good. But let me finish, please." I said, locking my gaze with hers. She nodded in answer. "As you know Peter and Charlotte and I, we all know each other for quite some time. Well, over a hundred years to be exact. The way we were turned … becoming vampires … wasn't the same way as Edward, Alice, Esme, Rosalie or Emmett were changed.

"We weren't saved from a human death; neither was our transformation an accident like Carlisle's. We all had been chosen for a complete different reason." I could sense Bella's anxiety rise. "Breathe, Bella. I am not going to tell you everything about our … _my_ history tonight. I think we both have been through enough as it is for one day, wouldn't you agree? I just want you to understand."

"It's okay. I understand. And just for the record, whenever you are ready to talk about it, I will just listen and not judge. I promise." Bella emphasized, leaving no doubt.

"I might hold you to that." I playfully threatened. But in reality, I was scared as hell to tell her anything about my time with Maria, afraid that she might freak out and finally see the monster I truly was. I was afraid to lose her. But for now I pushed those thoughts aside, because I just wanted to explain as best as I could, why Charlotte had acted like a fool before.

So I continued. "By now, the fact that some vampires possess extra abilities other than inhuman strength and speed shouldn't be a surprise to you …"

"Are you trying to tell me that Peter as well as Charlotte … that they both have special gifts, too?" Bella interrupted me again. She was more intrigued than surprised. Her eyes sparkled.

"Yes." I verified, not the least bit angry with her for interrupting me. "Although, they will both probably deny having a _gift._ They don't talk about it much. As far as I know Peter's gift is similar to what Alice can do. But please don't tell him, that I said that. He gets a little mad whenever I compare him to her. I think he doesn't have premonitions like her, but something alike. At least that would explain his knowledge of things before they even happen. Like I said, he doesn't talk about it often, and I respect his privacy."

"And Charlotte?" Bella pressed.

I laughed at her impatience. "Yes Charlotte. Well … her gift is something else entirely, nothing I've encountered before or even after I'd met her. She can see auras."

Bella gasped audibly, unable to respond in any way. She was obviously trying to make some sense of what I've told just her and what had happened earlier.

"Bella?"

"What does that mean?" She wanted to know, sounding lost.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I am not sure. She is like Peter in that department. We've never talked about her ability in detail. To be honest, I've never seen her acting this way before … not even when she'd met Alice for the first time. But whatever she had seen in you … in _us_ … she seemed to be happy." I stated. Secretly, I hoped that Charlotte had seen something about me belonging to Bella, and vice versa. But I knew that was just wishful thinking. How could I deserve such an angel like Bella?

"_Happy_?" Bella repeated, timidly, blushing ever so slightly, which was making me even more curious to know what she was thinking. But I didn't ask, because I could sense her nervousness.

"Yes. I don't know what to make of it myself. But we can ask her tomorrow … although I'm not sure she will give us an answer." I said.

I picked up my guitar again and played more songs for my girl. She settled deeper into the couch, laying her head on my shoulder. I loved to see her being so comfortable in my presence. But after half an hour later I could sense that Bella was tired. She'd tried to stifle a yawn more than once already, but she couldn't fool me.

"Tired?" I asked, but actually just stating the obvious.

"Yes." She admitted reluctantly.

"Come on, Darlin'. Let's find you a place to crash for the night." I proposed. Even though I hadn't had time before to check the other rooms, I was pretty sure that my study was still fully furnished. There would be a couch in there, big enough for her to sleep on.

"Where are you taking me?" She asked, a little nervous all of the sudden.

"To my room, if you don't mind." I answered.

"Your room? As in yours and …"

I didn't let her finish. "No, _my_ room. Is that okay?"

"Yes." She sighed in relief, causing me to grin in victory.

We went in silence up the stairs. I knew that she'd been in this house quite frequently in the past, but I doubted that she'd seen every room. Sure, she had been in Edward's room, and Alice's. And she was pretty familiar with Carlisle's office too. But remembering that she hadn't been close to Rose I knew that she hadn't had a reason to go into that room any more than she would have had to go into my study. Come to think of it, apart from Rose none of the other Cullens had been in my room often either. It has been _my_ sanctuary.

I stopped at the far end of the hall, opening the door. And just as I'd thought the room looked just the same as I'd left it, apart from the accumulated dust.

"This is it." I announced, motioning for her to go in first. She obliged, taking a curious look around. When her glance fell on the couch, she smiled.

"I guess it's not as comfortable as your bed … I can always take you home." I offered, courteously.

"No, it's fine." She placated me quickly. "I like it. Wow, you have a lot of books."

I laughed. "Maybe we should have gotten you a gift certificate for a bookstore instead of the car stereo for your birthday." I said.

"No … I've liked your gift." Bella replied, quickly but not very convincingly.

"You are such a bad liar." I laughed.

"I know. It's because I hate lying." She replied, laughing as well.

"Yeah, me too."

Bella walked over to the bookshelves, studying the titles. "Do you have a favorite book?"

"Of course, I do." I said, joining her. I moved quickly but didn't startle her. I pulled the book in question from its usual place on the shelf, and handed it to Bella. She traced the binding almost with reference, carefully opening it. Two folded pieces of paper fell out of the book, but thanks to my vampire I was able to catch them midair. I was just as surprised as Bella, maybe even more so, because knew I hadn't left them in there.

"What is it?" Bella asked, worry and curiosity layering her voice.

"A letter ..." I mumbled, incoherently.

"A letter? From who? Alice?" Bella sounded a little hopeful.

"No ..." I shook my head. "It's from Rose."

I walked over to the couch and sat down. I immediately began to read, barely noticing when Bella joined me, patiently waiting for me to finish reading the letter my sister had left behind, wisely hidden in a place I would be able to find it for sure ... and fast.

_My dearest brother … or shall I say pity excuse for a former vampire warlord,_

_If you are reading this, I was able to bypass your lovely wife's gift ... which would be a first. But to be honest it wouldn't surprise me very much if I'd actually succeeded this time, considering what went down here in the last couple of days ... with your sudden departure and everything. I don't need to be an empath like you or a mind reader like Eddie to be able to decipher what everybody is thinking or feeling around here. All of them are pretty much angry with the situation or with you, but no one dares to speak about it out loud. And I think nobody is paying me much attention ... so I suspect this will actually work._

_Just so you know I don't blame you for anything ... not even the disappearing act you'd pulled, but I was hoping you would be back by now ... but as it turns out, you are not. I guess you just need more time to come to terms with what had happened..._

_Long thing short ... we are leaving Forks tonight. Edward is going to break up with Bella tomorrow, and then he will join us in Denali. I don't know how long we are going to stay or where we go from there but just in case you'll make it back here someday, I'd put a cell with a prepaid card into your desk, programmed with my cell number ... please call me, if only to let me know that you are okay._

_I am really worried about you and it seems like that at the moment I am the only one who feels that way. Emmett will come around of that I'm sure. He is mostly just mad for leaving Bella behind especially without the possibility to say a proper goodbye. Well, you know how he feels about her, being the big brother for once and all that. I can't say that I'm happy for leaving either ... but it was a family vote ... so I caved ... as always._

_Wanna make a guess who'd initiated this particular family decision in the first place? No prizes for guessing! Edward __and__ Alice, for some weird reason. Aside from the explanation they gave us ... "Bella will always be in danger considering that she doesn't belong in our world" (Like you and I haven't tried to tell everybody exactly that once upon the time) ... they'd neglected to go into further details about the reasoning behind their unexpected decision. As you can imagine, Carlisle and Esme are both very sad, but agreed with their favourite kids without any questions. _

_The others may have failed to notice it, but I got the distinct impression that there was more to this than both of them had led on ... At the time I was too surprised to ask any more questions, because I'd never anticipated THEM to make that kind of decision, and to be honest I am not as sure anymore that this choice is for the best. You know, I don't like Bella very much, but no one deserves to go through what she will be facing when Edward breaks up with her ...but for her sake I hope that she will not suffer to long. None of us deserve her tears of mourning ... least of all her so-called boyfriend and her so-called best friend. God, I hate them right now …_

_Enough about that. I don't want to alert Edward to what I'm doing, although since yesterday he's doing his best to stay out of my head. I guess he really doesn't want to know what I'm thinking about all this …_

_One last thing, of course I'd tried to get some information about your whereabouts from Alice but all she could tell me that she'd seen you with Peter and Charlotte. She said that she didn't know where they live these days … or maybe she didn't want to tell me ... who knows. I didn't dare ask for Edward's help …as you can imagine you are his least favourite person right now ... or ever. At this point I can only hope you'll find my letter and we will see each other soon._

_Please remember I'll always love you, no matter what. I beseech you to contact me, as soon as you are able._

_Your (twin) sister_

_Rose_

I read the letter three times. I hadn't noticed anything happening around me, while I was trying to comprehend and digest Rose's words.

"Jasper," Bella called my name softly. I snapped my head up. I hadn't realized before that Bella had closed the distance between us in the meantime, being too absorbed.

"Are you okay?" She asked, probably concerned about the content of the letter and its effect on me. I couldn't speak, yet.

Bella placed both of her tiny hands on my face, thus forcing me to look into her eyes. "Whatever it is ... just know that I am here for you." She said, full conviction and love.

With her being that close, her warm hands on either side of my face, her brown eyes full of love ... my brain just shut down, and my desire and instinct took over. I gently but determinedly copied her posture, placing my hands on her cheeks, slowly closing the distance between our lips ...

_To be continued ..._

**A/N Sorry, I took so long ... again ... but work has been crazy these past weeks. I hope, you've enjoyed this chapter, though.**

**Let me know what you think. And as always I am still open to suggestions where this story should go ...**


	12. Small steps

**A/N Like always thanks for reading and reviewing and putting my story on alert. I am pleased to see that so many people seemed to like my story.**

**I know some of you guys were a little mad with me, for leaving you with a cliffhanger last chapter. Well I could say that I am sorry, but that would be a lie …what can I say I like cliffhangers. I know, it's evil, but hey, it makes you want to read further, doesn't it? But just so you know I won't do that too often … don't want to lose any readers. ;-)**

**Well here is the next chapter … it's a little shorter than usual, but I thought I give our lovebirds a chapter of their own.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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_Previously …_

_Bella placed both of her tiny hands on my face, thus forcing me to look into her eyes. "Whatever it is ... just know that I am here for you." She said, full conviction and love._

_With her being that close, her warm hands on either side of my face, her brown eyes full of love ... my brain just shut down, and my desire and instinct took over. I gently but determinedly copied her posture, placing my hands on her cheeks, slowly closing the distance between our lips ..._

Chapter 12 Small Steps

Jasper POV

Of course, I was hyper aware of what my action was doing to Bella. I could hear her heartbeat quickening; her breaths came out in fast intervals. She was definitely nervous, but not afraid. I took great comfort in that fact, and proceeded. Then my lips met hers.

Bella's lips were as soft as I'd imagined them to be. Soft, warm and sweet. I truly was in heaven. I might have even sighed in relief, when she reciprocated, but I wasn't paying much attention to anything else but the feeling of our lips, moving in sync … slowly and very gently.

I was overcome by the strangest feelings. The warm and tingly feeling I'd experienced before … more than once this day in fact by only touching her skin … was now amplified. My whole body became affected, almost like I was coming alive. This experience was so new for me. Not the kiss itself, because I surely had my fair share of kisses in my long existence, but the feelings behind it. True this was the first time I kissed a human, with me being a vampire. But I knew perfectly well that this wasn't the only reason why I felt this way. This kiss was gentle and innocent, and oddly that was what made this experience that much better, more real. Even without excess to Bella's current emotions, I could sense that she was taking pleasure in this deed as much as I was.

I slowly moved my lips over hers, but as good as this was I wanted … no _needed_ more. I carefully placed my hands on her waist and pulled her into my lap. She didn't fight me, but she didn't encourage me to do something more either. I knew perfectly well that she didn't have any experience in this matter, with my brother always acting like a prude around her. I knew that I should take this slow, not forcing her into doing something she might not be ready for.

But the vampire and the man in me couldn't wait any longer. I really wanted to taste her. When my tongue traced her lower lip, cautiously begging for entrance, she froze. I pulled back immediately. Although I still couldn't get a good read on her emotions, I was able to see that this bold move hadn't been a good idea. Her eyes were wide open in shock; her cheeks were flushed, and she was breathing heavy.

_Fuck …_

Suddenly I felt horrible. I had crossed a line. Here she was trying to comfort me and I had to fuck it up, by taking advantage of her. Maybe she didn't want this at all? Maybe she had just allowed this to make me feel better?

_Oh God, I hope not. But who am I kidding here? Of course she doesn't want me the way I want her … why would she … she could do so much better …_

"Bella, I am …" I began, worrying that it might already be too late to fix this, but she quickly put her hand over my mouth, stopping me from finishing my apology.

"Don't!" She said. It was both a plea and a demand. Suddenly all gates were open, and I was assaulted by tidal waves of her emotions. Surprise, realization, determination, lust … and _love_?

To say I was shocked was a total understatement. But before I was able to sort through her various emotions or could say anything else, her mouth was back on mine, picking up right where we'd left off. Her hands fisted into my hair as she pulled me closer to her, her lips literally attacking mine. This kiss was different … not gentle and soft, but full of passion. I let her take charge this time, gladly allowing her access to my mouth. We both moaned, when our tongues met.

_She tastes even better than she smells … so sweet, somehow fruity … I want more … I want her to be mine … completely … too soon … don't rush her … just enjoy the moment …_ I cautioned myself.

Though I knew that the small trace of venom in my saliva wouldn't do her any harm as long as she didn't have any open wounds in her mouth, I carefully guided her away from my sharp teeth. Our tongues began to duel for dominance. We were desperately clinging to each other, leaving not a fraction of space between us. I was pretty sure she could feel my erection, but I couldn't care less at the moment, and it didn't seem to bother her. As a vampire I was a sexual being by nature, and I'd never felt ashamed of showing it. One of my hands fisted into her hair, while the other went around her waist, thus keeping her in place.

Too soon I had no choice but to let go of her, remembering that _she_ had a need for oxygen. After all, she was only human. We reluctantly broke apart, both panting very hard. I wanted to laugh out of sheer happiness but I thought better of it. Something told me that despite her voluntary participation and reciprocation she probably was just as overwhelmed and confused by what has just occurred between us as me, and might misinterpret such an action, and think I was making fun of her.

"That … that was …" She finally managed to say, while she was trying to catch her breath.

"Mind-blowing." I finished her sentence, smirking at her.

"Yes," she agreed, still panting, gracing me with a small, but sweet smile. Her whole face was flushed, and I felt my throat burn with thirst. The feeling wasn't unmanageable but still a little uncomforting. Though I still didn't crave her blood, I knew I should better go hunting as soon as possible, just to be on the safe side.

Bella carefully entangled herself from my embrace, and moved from my lap. She sat down beside me. As I'd predicted her emotions were all over the place, but at the same time I was glad that she hadn't put the lid back on, so to speak. But even though, all I could ascertain for certain was that she was pretty much overwhelmed, and again very nervous. She didn't look at me, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"What are you thinking about, Darlin'?" I softly demanded her attention.

"What does _this_ mean?" She asked tentatively, sounding uncertain and a little afraid all of the sudden. Was it just me, or did she fear rejection?

"Well, I don't know." I replied honestly. "I can't explain why or how … but I want to be honest with you here. I do have feelings for you, feelings that are far more than just friendly. I know it's way too early to jump into any kind of romantic relationship … if that's where we're heading. But I don't think that I can fight this anymore … actually I don't want to. I really want to get to know you better." I confessed, smiling at her. Bella's heartbeat accelerated again.

She took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself. A small smile played around her mouth. "I want that too." She said, timidly. "Actually I did want that for a very long time. And I have feelings for you too, but truth be told, I am afraid … partly because I don't know why I feel that way about you, so deep and so fast. I think I need some time to work things out …"

I sighed in relief, a feeling I seemed to share with Bella at the moment, along with confusion. "I know, darlin'. It's too soon, too fast. But nevertheless I think it's genuine, whatever it is, we are feeling. And I don't say that because I'm an empath." I chuckled, but continued at once. "Anyhow, I agree with you. I think we both need more time to come to terms. We've been through a lot … not only today … but in general. Small steps, alright."

She nodded in agreement. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Anything for you, Bella." I said, having a brief flashback. This wasn't the first time I'd said those exact words to her. Back in Phoenix, in the hotel, I'd used the same phrase. The meaning behind those words hasn't changed, though. This was a promise I intended to keep … no matter what.

Not knowing what to do or say, I stood up. "How about you get ready for bed? I know you are tired. We can talk more tomorrow. There is a bathroom you can use across the hall." I said. "I go and fetch your blanket and see if I could find you a pillow, too."

"Okay. But you'll stay with me …here." Bella requested shyly. She blushed again. I was amused to see her acting so innocently, almost like she was embarrassed by her previous naughty behavior. Truth be told, I liked both of those sides of her.

"Of course." I conceded at once. There was no place on earth I would rather be than with her.

Then we parted for the moment. I went downstairs to pick up the quilt, and then back to my closet to search for a pillow, while she was taking care of her human needs in the bathroom. I guessed we both needed a little alone time, to calm down. But then again I had to admit I already missed her touch, her lips on mine …

I couldn't wipe the grin of my face. Bella has kissed me. But what made me almost delirious with delight was the fact that she'd admitted that she had feelings for me too. Not that I'd needed the verbal confirmation, because I'd already sensed her love, but it was nice to hear it, nevertheless.

Alice was the only female I have been kissing for the last five decades or so, and I'd always thought that she was it for me, my true other half. But as it turned out she wasn't, because what I'd felt whenever I had been with her … intimate or otherwise … didn't even come close to what I felt right now. I could only imagine what it would feel like when I'd finally made Bella mine.

Yes, I'd promised her to take it slow, but the beast in me wanted her, badly. Especially, since I'd smelled her arousal. In my entire existence I'd never smelled a more delicious scent than hers. It literally made my mouth water. But for the time being I would have to stick with just kissing her and that was fine … for now.

_Patience … all in due time …_

* * *

Bella POV

I quickly went into the bathroom, in order to brush my teeth and change into my pajamas. Though I knew that I was way too hyper to actually go to sleep right now, at the same time I felt utterly exhausted.

_I can always ask Jasper for some assistance …_

When I took a look into the mirror above the sink, I chuckled. My hair was a mess, looking like I just got out of bed. I blushed, thinking about the reason behind the disarray on top of my head.

I still couldn't believe what had just happened. Jasper Hale … no Jasper _Whitlock_ … has kissed me … _me_, self-conscious, broken, clumsy Bella. I knew neither one of us had planned for this to happen, but I sure as hell didn't regret anything. Sure, I was on the same page with him, that it was way too early for both of us to jump into anything serious. But then again how could something that felt just so good and right be wrong?

I thought the first kiss between us has been anything but perfect. The odd thing was that his lips weren't as hard and unyielding as I'd expected them to be from my previous experience kissing a vampire. They weren't exactly warm either but not as icy. The kiss was very gentle, but I had been able to sense something stronger underneath even before he'd admitted that he indeed has feelings for me. Maybe he had been projecting his own feelings to me? I didn't know, and didn't really care.

I guessed that was why I'd stopped Jasper from saying that he was sorry, because I just knew that he wasn't.

True I had been shocked ... to say the least ... when Jasper's tongue had touched my lips for the first time, partly because I had no experience with French kissing whatsoever. Other than the gentle, closed-mouth kisses I had shared with Edward I had no kissing experience at all. I hoped that I hadn't screwed up, and made a fool out of myself. But as far as I could tell, Jasper has taken as much pleasure in it as I have.

In the past, I had wanted to kiss Edward like that from the first time we'd shared our first kiss. But he'd always said that it was too dangerous for me, that he wouldn't be able to keep his control if we would take our physical relationship to the next step. I knew now that he'd lied about that … sort of. Maybe with my blood being as tempting as he'd claimed, he'd had a point. But then again Jasper was a vampire too, and he hadn't tried to bite me, not even once today. This was even further proof that he wasn't as weak as he has always been made to believe he was.

I realized now that if Edward really had wanted to kiss me like that and maybe even doing something more, he would have been able to do so. We have been together for a long time and he'd tasted my blood on one occasion and had been able to stop in time. So did this mean that he hadn't wanted me like that? Probably. It made me a little sad, but most importantly mad. He'd made me believe that he had been in love with me, as much as I had been with him. Apparently, that hasn't been the case.

I shook my head, in order to get rid of these thoughts. I surely didn't want to think about my ex, when there was a man in the house who obviously wasn't afraid to get close to me and show me his love.

I giggled, when I remembered how aggressive I'd behaved when I initiated the second kiss. I had wanted this as much as he had. And I still craved more.

_Stupid teenage hormones …_ But then again I knew that wasn't the reason for my behavior. I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face and changed into my PJ's.

When I reentered Jaspers study, I could see that in the meantime he had transformed the couch into a bed, big enough for both of us. Of course, I knew that Jasper didn't need a place to sleep, but as I had requested of him before, I still hoped that he would stay with me during the night. I felt the strange but strong need to have him close to me, as close as possible. True I wasn't nearly ready to take this any further than we'd already had with the kissing, but at least I wanted to feel his arms around me, while I'd slept.

"It looks cozy." I commented.

Jasper chuckled. "It's the best I can offer you."

I smiled at him, and got under the blanket. Sure, it wasn't nearly as comfortable as my own bed, but right now, this was the only place I wanted to be. Jasper stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"Will you hold me, until I'll fall asleep?" I asked, blushing furiously.

"With pleasure." Jasper replied, and quickly joined me on the couch. I pushed the blanket over us both, wanting to feel him. I snuggled closer, laying me head on his chest. Not hearing his heartbeat didn't freak me out, since I was used to this.

"Am I not too cold and hard for you?" He asked, while sniffing at my hair. A low rumble went through his body, sounding almost like a purr.

I giggled. "Oddly, no."

"Hmmm." He sighed in contentment. "I like this."

"Me too." I confessed, yawning.

"Sleep now, my Bella. I will stay right here with you … the whole night." He promised, placing a gentle kiss on top of my head. I smiled, and moments later I was out.

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**A/N Well, was it worth the wait? You know, I need your feedback ... so please leave me message. Thanks!!!**


	13. This is fate

**A/N Thanks for still following my story. And of course thanks for all the reviews.**

**I was glad to see that you didn't mind a shorter chapter in between. But now that the foundation is built, more will be happening and soon. Of course, fate will not make it easy for our couple.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Chapter 13 This is fate

Peter POV

Charlotte and I had taken flight just shortly after her arrival. The awkwardness in the room had been definitely too much for all of us. Jasper's patience had been tested far enough for one day, and I did not want him to snap again in the presence of Bella. Not that I'd actually anticipated a similar reaction like this morning, but I didn't want to put my theory to a test either.

We hadn't exchanged even one word since we've left the house. Charlotte just followed me into the woods, knowing exactly where I was taking her. There was a small cottage in the depth of the woods, far away from any human trail. It wasn't very comfortable, but it would serve its purpose … a secluded place for me and my mate, to reunite and then to have a serious talk without being overheard by our brother.

As soon as the door closed behind us, I pinned my love to the ground, kissing her with total abandon. She clearly wanted the same as I, and quickly reciprocated. Any rational thought left my mind, and my primal needs took over.

_There will be time for us to talk later … now I have more important things to do …_

Charlotte didn't mind the distraction, quite the contrary, she welcomed it. I knew my mate. Forcing her to share information so soon wasn't going to work. In this we were similar. She needed to come to terms with it on her own first, before she would be able to talk about it with me. Knowing that we had hours until Bella would be awake again, I would take my time to worship my wife's body in every way possible.

Hours later we lay naked on the rug in front of the small fireplace, our legs still entangled, holding each other. I had lit the wood moments ago. True, the action wasn't necessary, but the warmth was very pleasant to us vampires nonetheless.

"Feeling better now, honey?" I asked softly, nuzzling her neck.

Though I was sated for the moment, I knew I would never tire to show my mate how much I desired and loved her. I let my finger trail over her arm, across her stomach and she shivered with pleasure. Even in the dim light of the fire, any vampire could see that her entire body was covered with scars just as mine, a permanent reminder of our former life. But to me she was the most beautiful and desirable woman on earth. I knew she thought the same about me.

"Sure do." She giggled, sighing in pure contentment.

"Care to share your epiphany with me now?" I carefully asked.

My mate groaned in answer, wriggling around in my arms, so that she was face to face with me. "Was this all a ruse then? A way to make me feel loose enough, to share information with you? Making me come ten times, so I would finally surrender?" She accused me. To an outsider her words might have sounded harsh, but I knew better. She wasn't angry with me. Not really, anyhow.

"Don't tell it didn't work?" I asked, pouting.

"Stop teasing, Peter!" She chuckled, smacking my arm playfully. "You are evil, you know."

"I do, and proud of it." I said, smirking at her. "Now, spill!"

"There is nothing much to tell … they are soul mates." She simply stated, shrugging, like it was nothing out of the ordinary. I got the feeling that she was somehow not happy about the fact.

"Ah, of course. That's what I'd suspected." I replied. And it was true. I had guessed as much before, but it was good to have my suspicion confirmed by _the_ expert on that particular matter. I gently stroked my mate's cheek. "Tell me, sweetheart, what has you worried?"

She exhaled loudly. "It's not that I'm not glad to see Jasper happy. I am. You know that. But with a human?" She asked me incredulously.

"Is that all you are concerned about? Her being human?" I argued, but staying calm, because I strongly believed that this was just an excuse. Something told me, that she was more irritated by the fact that Bella was connected to the Cullens in one way or another.

"Is that not reason enough? Not only does she know about our secret … and let's face it that alone is bad news. She is responsible for Jasper's breakdown in the first place." She reasoned heatedly. I didn't say anything in return, but let her continue her rant. She needed to get all her worries out in the open. "On the other hand … I must say that I am happy that as a result he finally broke his ties with the Cullens … even if it was not deliberately. But still I think it's the best thing that could have happened … all things considered. They haven't been good for him … especially that pixie.

"But to be honest what I've seen at the house, scares me. Their bond is already strong … and they don't even realize it yet. With time their bond will strengthen, become stronger … maybe even stronger than ours. Yes, I know he deserves happiness and love … probably more than anybody. But why does it have to be with this human?" She moaned.

"You know that she doesn't have to stay human?" I reminded her.

"Do you actually think that he will change her? Or that she will even allow this to happen?" She countered.

"If it's true what you said about them being soul mates … then yes. You know the Major as well as I do. He can be very convincing when he wants something. And let's face it … we all are selfish creatures by nature." _Well, except for Bella, perhaps._ I added in my mind. "And I am pretty sure that Bella had considered her transformation before today. Why else would she have been with the mind-reader for so long. Believe me, her becoming one of us some day, won't be an issue."

"So you are going to support them?" She asked curiously. There was still a slight note of irritation in her voice.

"Yes, because I know it is the right thing." I answered truthfully. "And I know Jasper at least will need all the help he can get." I chuckled under my breath. Despite from what I've witnessed at the house today, the small signs of their connection, I knew perfectly well that he, too, would have problems to accept his fate.

"Hmmm …" She mused. I let think for a moment.

"So are you with me or not?" I needed to know where she was standing.

"Seems like I don't have a choice in the matter. And who am I to break up a perfect match? Okay, I'm in. But I don't have to like it … or her." She said, petulantly.

I laughed at her expression. "Oh trust me, babe, you will. Nobody is immune to Bella's charm." I stated with full conviction. It might take some time, but I knew Charlotte would come around eventually.

"Come on." I said, pulling her up with me. "Let's get back."

"But it's still early. Must we really go yet?" She purred, seductively, making me laugh.

"Sorry, my love. But we have something to take care of, before we actually go back to the house." I informed her, getting dressed.

She raised her eyebrows in question. "And what might that be?"

* * *

Jasper POV

Bella immediately fell asleep, with her head on my chest and her arm around my waist. The warmth of her body enveloped me like a cocoon, making me feel safe and loved for the first time in a very long time, maybe even for the first time ever.

_What a day!_ I sighed. I was happy, but at the same time utterly exhausted and confused. So much has happened in the past twelve hours or so. I was quite surprised how well I had been able to handle the pressure, to get through all of this mess without any major mental breakdown or physical outbursts. Now, with Bella sound asleep in my arms, I let the events of this day replay in my mind.

This morning my only concern had been how my family would react to my unannounced return, and my long-lasting absence. Instead of having to deal with them, the one and only person whose reaction I'd clandestinely feared the most had shown up today of all days.

_It must be fate ..._

Being a mystical creature myself, I had never questioned the concept of fate or destiny. I strongly believed that there was no such thing as coincidence. I was convinced that it had been fate when I'd met Maria and her friends that exact night, and they'd decided to change me into a creature of the night ... as the humans used to call our kind inadequately. (Although at the time and place we were exactly that.) As a result it had been my fate that I'd fought for her for many years, creating and destroying countless vampires. It had been fate when I had found and turned both Peter and Charlotte, training them to serve Maria's sole purpose to acquire more territory. I'd let my heart rule me for just one moment and had allowed them to escape. This has been their fate as well as mine. They had come back in my darkest hour, convincing me that there was a life outside this hell, a life worth exploring and living. I truly believed that we had been destined to become friends, otherwise why have I dared to disobey a direct order from my sire?

And of course it also had been fate that I'd happened to be in that dinner when I'd first met Alice. Sure, she'd had her hands in it somehow, but still, it had been my decision to go into the dinner in the first place, she'd just happened to take advantage of the things she always seemed to know. She'd convinced me that my true destiny lay with her, and at the time I hadn't doubted her one bit. I had allowed her to drag me along, eager but at the same time anxious to embrace this new life she'd promised me. Meeting the Cullens for the first time has been hard, and awkward. To say that they had been shocked was an understatement.

The fear the four present vampires had given off, had been mind-boggling but reasonable. To them all of my scars were visible, a clear sign of my past. They practically screamed danger. For a minute there I'd thought to turn around and leave, but Alice had them wrapped around her fingers in no time, convincing them that I meant them no harm.

_Funny, how things change ..._

To cut a long story short I was convinced that fate has brought me here today, to this place, reuniting me with this beautiful and amazing person in my arms.

It was such a wonderful feeling to know that she was so comfortable around me that she could let herself be that vulnerable in the presence of a monster like me. But I was hard for me to understand how she was able to sleep like this in the first place. I was hard as stone, and cold as ice. I had tried to move away from her more than once, but every time she just gripped my shirt tighter, begging without words not to leave her side. And how could I? I wanted to stay right here with her ... forever, if she would let me.

Just then I recalled her earlier response. She'd said that I didn't feel that hard and cold to her. But how could that be? I knew from Edward's experience that she often said things to make him feel better, but I knew that this wasn't the case here. I'd felt her honesty behind her words, and her confusion. She didn't seem to understand it, but for some unknown reason she didn't question it either.

I smiled, caressing her cheek with only my fingertips, remembering what she had said it earlier today. 'I hate lies.'

This was just one of the many things that made me love this woman so intensely, so fast. I was shaken by the power of the feelings I already had for her, and she seemed to reciprocate them. How did this happen? What did this mean? Had there been always some kind of connection between us? And how was she able to shut of her emotions at will all of the sudden, when she wasn't able to do that in the past? And why did the touch of her skin didn't burn me?

_So many questions._

In the past I would have gone to Carlisle to seek out the answers to these questions. With him being the oldest of the family, and his never-ending yearning for knowledge in the first place ... and of course his experiences with the Volturi, I knew he would be my best chance to get to the bottom of this.

Thinking about Carlisle made me realize how much I truly missed him. He might not have been the father figure for me as he was for the others ... especially for Alice and Edward ... but I'd always had the utmost respect for him, appreciating his compassion, his advice and his guidance. Right now I could his insight, but I knew I wasn't ready to go there ... not yet.

But most of all I missed Rose ... and Emmett. I hadn't had the time before ... with all the interruptions ... to truly come to terms with what I've learned from her letter. True, the majority of the content didn't surprise me, because I've already figured as much. Alice and Edward had been the driving force behind the decision to leave Forks ... and Bella for that matter. To say I was disappointed in Alice and mad at Edward didn't even begin to cover what I was feeling.

Right this moment I heard Bella moaning in her sleep. Somehow it almost sounded like she was in pain, and I realized that I was projecting my emotions on her.

"Sorry, Darlin'." I whispered into her ear. I took in a deep breath, grounding myself. As soon as I was calm again, Bella relaxed as well. "That's it. Sleep, my angel."

I was very touched by Rose's words, and finally realized how much I've hurt her by leaving and staying away for so long. Of course, I wanted to call her, but not yet. First I wanted to share the letter with Bella and Peter. Not that I needed their approval or anything, but I didn't want to keep secrets from either one of them ... not anymore. I made a silent promise to myself that I would tell Bella about my past as soon as possible, knowing it was the right thing to do, if I'd wanted us to become more than friends.

Taking a deep breath, I finally realized that I was ready to take a new path in my life, start over. I knew I had to make some necessary changes and sacrifices to accomplish this goal, but even though ... this time was different ... for the first time ever I was eager to embrace my destiny and to follow it of my own free will. Never in all those years had I met even a single person, human or vampire, I was willing to give my life for; I was willing to do anything just to make this person smile. And Bella was this person. She has shown me my inner strength, the goodness that had slumbered underneath the surface the entire time ... and suddenly I could see that the life I had created with Alice had been nothing but forged. Sure at the time it was what I wanted or at least that was what she made me believe I needed. How didn't I see that my wife has been manipulating me, using my very own gift against me? I must have been blinded by love and trust ... love and trust that she didn't deserve ... not after what she has done in the past ... to me _and_ Bella. Making me believe I was weak, not worth anyone's trust ... the love I've once felt for her turned into pure hatred. I was glad I couldn't keep that feeling to myself, not affecting my sleeping angel with it this time.

I looked down at her, and realized that Bella was the exact opposite of Alice, and that was why I had no doubt in my mind, that she was my future. My true destiny.

*

*

*

Peter and Charlotte came back around six in the morning. Neither one of them came looking for me or Bella, and vice versa. I didn't want to leave Bella's side. No one would be able to drag me from this place. I finally understood what had driven Edward to watch her sleeping almost every night. She was a vision. And she talked during her sleep. I hadn't been able to make any sense of her words, but at least whatever she was dreaming about wasn't bad. I monitored her emotional state very closely, glad that she hasn't put up her shield again. But maybe she wasn't able to do that when she was sleeping?

_Who cares about the reason? Enjoy it while it lasts ..._

Then I heard some noise coming from downstairs, which made me curious.

_What are they up to now?_ I groaned silently.

Slowly, and very carefully, I inched out from underneath her, and lowered her head to the pillow. My beautiful angel stirred a bit at the repositioning, but fortunately she didn't wake. Sleeping Bella looked rather appealing, and I had a hard time leaving. But my curiosity has gotten the better of me in that moment. I placed a quick kiss on her temple, smirking when she sighed out my name, and then I made my way downstairs.

I could detect the fresh scent of coffee and baked goods, like muffins and stuff. I remembered that smell from the time Esme had cooked for Bella. I went into the kitchen, freezing in place when I took in the sight in front of my eyes. My brother stood, wearing a fucking apron, setting up an enormous breakfast feast for Bella.

I burst out laughing. "You look ridiculous." Peter chuckled, but did ignore my comment or my presence otherwise.

"I told him the same thing." Charlotte said, joining us in the kitchen. "Where is the human?"

I could sense that Charlotte had some reservations about Bella. I could also pick up the tiniest amount of jealousy, an emotion I strangely seemed to share with her in that moment. I should be the one making breakfast for her, not my brother.

"_Bella_ is still upstairs, sleeping." I answered shortly. "What's all this?"

"What does it look like? Breakfast for the human, of course." Peter said, waving his hand dismissively, like he was doing nothing out of the ordinary. I had no idea that he knew how to cook. He put down the knife he has been using to cut some fruit and looked straight at me for the first look I'd entered the room.

"Well, well, well ... must have been some night for you." He said, smirking and then sniffing the air. "Her scent is all over you. Couldn't keep your hands to yourselves, eh, Major?" He teased.

"Fuck you. It's not what you think." I snapped.

"It's not?" He countered, sparing me a meaningful look.

_That's it. He knows something ... other than my make-out session with Bella._

"Spit it out, man." I commanded.

"Spit what out?" He tried to play innocent, but failing miserably.

"Whatever you think you know." I huffed.

"I know nothing ... _yet_." Peter kept on continuing his tactic.

I realized that he wasn't going to tell me anything right now, and since I wasn't in the mood for playing his game or a fight, I shrugged it off. "Whatever."

Peter laughed and returned to his former task. Charlotte shook her head, apparently feeling just as annoyed as I was with Peter's childish behaviour. I even caught her rolling her eyes at Peter. When she saw me, watching her, she smiled at me timidly.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." She said, and I could tell that she really meant it. "I hope I didn't scare her."

Both Peter and I laughed at that statement. "Don't worry, you haven't. Actually, I think there is almost nothing that can scare Bella." I assured her. "But in any case I think you should apologize to her, and maybe explain _why_ you'd reacted the way you did." I recommended. I was very curious about the reason myself. But since Peter wasn't in the mood to share any information with me, I doubted that Charlotte would be more compliant. I was pretty sure they've talked about the events from last night, but decided to keep it a secret from me.

"That's a great idea. Why don't you go up, wake Bella." Peter quickly suggested, picking up a cup and filled it with coffee. I got the impression that he wanted me out of the kitchen before I could ask any more questions. He shoved the cup in my hands. "Here take this with you. Trust me. She will be _very_ grateful." He explained, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. I growled at him, but refrained from making a verbal comment.

With the cup of hot, steaming coffee I went upstairs. I could sense that Bella was awake already, and without announcing my entrance, I opened the door to my study. Bella stood beside the couch, just pulling on a shirt. I got a good look at her upper body. She was wearing tiny, red bra. _Damn, my favourite colour._ My breath got stuck, and I froze on sight. I barely noticed the cup of coffee slipping out of my hand, not until I heard the thud it was making when it hit the floor.

Bella's head snapped up at the noise. Apparently she hadn't noticed my entrance at all. When she took in my demeanor, she blushed at first, but quickly composed herself again. Her eyes wandered from mine, down to the floor, examining the mess. Suddenly she laughed.

"Bella, I'm ... I'm sorry." I stuttered.

By now she almost doubled over with laughter. "What ... what are ... you apologizing ... for?" She managed to ask, while she was trying to catch her breath. "For seeing me half naked or ruining your own carpet?" I simply stared at her in total astonishment. I stood like an idiot, with my mouth open, stunned speechless. I didn't know how I'd expected her to react, but this ... this was surely the last thing that came to my mind.

_She is fucking laughing at me ..._

Her amusement about the silly incident was simply mind-boggling but sobering and quite obviously infectious. I could even hear Peter's and Charlotte's laughter from downstairs. They might not have seen anything, thank God, but they had heard every word. I finally couldn't fight it no longer and joined in. When we've finally calmed down some, I turned around, shutting the door with a bang, making Bella jump.

_It's time to show you that it's not nice to antagonize a vampire, my sweet, innocent girl ..._

I slowly but deliberately closed the distance between Bella and myself, I moving stealthily ... almost like the predator I actually was hunting his prey. I kept my face calm, and my eyes never left hers. When I stood right before her, I put my arms around her, pulling her close to me. I leaned down.

"So, Darlin'. You think this was funny?" I growled into her ear. I could detect a slight shiver running down her spine, and her heartbeat sped up. She wasn't frightened, but excited ... I sensed the slightest trace of her arousal.

_Is she for real? She is getting turned on by this?_ I was surprised, but also immensely pleased by this discovery.

"Is there anything I can do, to make it up to you?" Bella whispered seductively into my ear. I only groaned in answer, swiftly capturing her lips in a heated kiss, before she could say or do something else. She moaned in response, quickly turning this kiss into something dangerous, when she allowing me to thrust my tongue into her mouth. Her luscious scent, her sweet taste, her soft skin on mine ... everything assaulted my senses, making me hard in an instant.

How I was able to even have one lucid thought under the circumstances was truly beyond me. But I knew this was neither the time nor the place for taking this further, like I wanted to ... like she obviously wanted to also. I reluctantly broke our connection, smiling down at her, leaning my forehead against hers, giving her the opportunity to catch her breath and calm down. To be honest I needed to do the same.

"Consider your apology accepted!" I teased, making her laugh in response. I would never tire to hear that sound. I loosened my hold on her, but didn't release her completely. I craved her touch so much in that moment, that I thought it would actually cause me physical pain, if I'd actually let go of her. I gently stroked her face. She closed her eyes, and sighed in pure contentment, leaning into my touch.

"Food's getting cold!" I heard Peter shouting from the kitchen, and I groaned in annoyance. _Damn cock blocker! _Bella's eyes snapped open, looking at me inquisitively. "Peter." I mouthed, and she giggled. Right this moment her stomach growled.

"There is food and more coffee waiting for you downstairs." I said. "Let me clean up this mess. I meet you in the kitchen in a sec." I added, placing a quick peck on her forehead. She just nodded, and went out of the room, but not before glancing back at me one last time, giving me a dazzling smile.

_Oh God, this woman will be the death of me, I swear! But it would be so worth it ..._

Just as I'd expected as soon as she was out of my arms and out of the room, a feeling of incompleteness bordering on emptiness crept upon me. Did she feel the same way? My body, my soul ached for her.

_This is just crazy! She is like a drug ... and I feel like I'm anxious for my next fix. Weird!_

I quickly picked up the broken pieces of the cup, disposing them into the wastepaper basket hidden underneath my desk, and then I went into the bathroom across the hall to retrieve a towel, sweeping up the spilled liquid with it. I knew it wasn't the best way to clean up this mess, but the fastest. I didn't want to waste time apart from Bella with searching for proper cleaning material. I threw the stained clothe into the hamper, and went down to join Bella and the others in the kitchen.

Bella sat at the counter, sipping her coffee. A plate loaded with pancakes and scrambled eggs stood before her. She looked totally at ease. Of course, I knew that she already was quite fond of my brother, but somehow I was a little afraid that Charlotte's presence might make her feel uncomfortable. But I should have known better by now not to underestimate Bella, because it obviously wasn't the case. I could actually sense nothing but curiosity mixed in with a hint of awkwardness ... coming from both of the women in the room, in fact.

"And the Oscar for 'The clumsiest vampire of the year' goes to." Peter greeted me, with a full-sized superior grin on his face.

_You wait ... __You are so going to pay for this __... once we're alone ..._ I threatened him, but only in my mind.

Peter smirked at me, knowingly. "So are Bella's tits actually that impressive?" He taunted me.

Charlotte reacted faster than me. _Thud_. Her hand met the back of Peter's head, hard enough to make him hiss in pain. "Ouch! What was that for, woman?" He wailed, sounding much like Emmett at the moment, and behaving not much differently.

"Like you don't know." She scolded him. "Just be glad, it was my hand instead of Jasper's." She was so right with her assessment. Too bad she beat me to the punch.

"Thank you, Charlotte." Bella said, drawing our combined attention to her. She was a little flushed, sign of her embarrassment due to Peter's uncalled-for choice of words. _Fucker!_

"For what?" Charlotte asked, totally taken aback by Bella's heartfelt gratitude. I was evenly surprised by her words, but I could also sense a little mischievousness brewing underneath Bella's posture.

"For doing something I am unfortunately not able to do myself ... not unless I want to break my hand in the process. And believe I had my share of hospital visits this year." She said, grinning at Peter's mate.

Charlotte's former indecisive feelings towards Bella changed all of the sudden. "Anytime." She winked at Bella. Both women giggled.

"Hey, no conspiring with my wife ... especially not against me." Peter groaned, playfully. In truth he was as glad as I was to them so at ease with each other. For a moment I wondered if he'd planned this whole thing. Even it was, I couldn't be mad at him this time. "Major, a little help here, please."

"Sorry, dude. You are on your own." I said, playing along.

The rest of the morning went by uneventful. Bella eventually finished her breakfast, thanking Peter over and over again for doing this, which was making me feel not precisely happy.

"See, she likes me better than you." He taunted me, then looking straight at Bella. "Don't you, little lady?"

"Just because you kinda remind me of Esme." She reasoned. That statement did shut my brother up for good, and making the rest of us laugh.

"She's a keeper!" Charlotte whispered. I couldn't agree more.

Charlotte and Peter excused themselves soon after ... leaving to do God knows what. I didn't care, because all I wanted was spending more alone time with Bella. With the others around I had restrained myself to show any kind of affection. It wasn't an easy task, because her body was literally screaming 'Touch me!', and it took a lot of strength not to succumb to my desire. But I thought Bella might not be ready to put our new relationship on display. It was way too soon for that. And to be honest I wasn't ready either. But even though Peter and Charlotte seemed to have figured out that there was something more going on between us than just being friends.

"So do you have any plans for today?" I asked when we were back in my study. She sat on my chair, watching me transform the bed back into its original state.

"No I don't, but I think it's better if I go home right now ... just in case Charlie will be back early." Bella explained.

"Okay, let me take you home." I agreed, smiling when I detected her excitement. But there was something else. Relief? Was she actually thinking that I had something better to do than spending the day with her? That I would just kick her out after all that had happened yesterday? She clearly needed to get over these rejection issues of hers ... but then again, it has been my very own brother who was the source for Bella to feel this way. I surely reminded her of him ... at least in some ways. I didn't like the thought but I understood it to some extent.

"Hey, since Peter and Char are gone, maybe I could spend the day with you ... at your house, keeping you company until your father comes home. What do think?" I suggested casually.

"I'd like that." She answered.

"Good, that's settled then. Pack up your things, and then we can go."

She quickly went into the bathroom to retrieve her toiletries. In the meantime I snatched Rose's letter from where I'd put last night, and stashed it in the back pocket of my jeans. Minutes later we were ready to leave.

"Car or my back?" I asked when we stood on the front porch.

She grinned. "Your back!" Her response was quick and clear. I could clearly remember how much she'd enjoyed the ride yesterday, and I was just as excited as her.

The ride was too damn short for my taste. _But I take what I can get, right?_ I helped her of my back at the edge of the woods near her house, and we walked the rest of the way together. She didn't fumble with the keys like she had done yesterday, but somehow I got the impression that she still was a little nervous about something.

"Would you like to come in?" She asked me, smirking at me. It was the same question she'd asked me the day before. This time I was ready and more than eager to except her invitation.

"Gladly." I replied. She went in first, and I followed her in quietly.

We went straight upstairs to her room. She put down her bag and then turned around to face me. "Well, this is my room ... oh right, you've here before ... yesterday." She blabbered.

I cautiously closed the distance between us, taking her hands into mine. Again the strange electric tremor went through my entire body, but I decided to ignore it for the moment. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to." I reassured her. Maybe she was nervous because she was thinking I would take advantage of her. She needed to know that despite what already had occurred between us, I wouldn't force her to take things further before she was ready, even though I really, really wanted to.

She blushed, clearly realizing what I was referring to. "I know. That's not it."

I guided her to her bed, and we sat down beside each other, barely touching except for our still entwined hands. Maybe it was not the best idea under the circumstances, but it was the only choice, considering she didn't have a couch. At least that was what I kept telling myself. I could have taken a seat on her chair, but I wanted to be as close as possible to her.

"Then tell me, what are you so nervous about?" I asked softly, letting her feel my sympathy.

"How says I'm nervous?" She quipped.

I chuckled at her attempt to distract me. "Empath, remember." I reminded her. "Please, don't feel uncomfortable, just because I can sense your emotions. And please don't feel the need to hide them from me either. I rather like it ... being able to sense what you are feeling. It gives me great comfort." I confessed.

She seemed to take great comfort in my admission. "I only keep my emotions to myself when I think it would hurt you. I don't want that."

_God, I love you!_

Instead of saying those words out loud, I placed both of my hands on her cheeks, kissing her very gently. "Thank you!" I breathed, when I broke the kiss. She looked sort of dazzled, but didn't say another word.

Her reaction took me by surprise again. She crashed her mouth on mine, pushing me on my back. I eagerly complied, pulling her on top of me. Our tongues duelled for dominance, but eventually settling into a nice rhythm. My hands were groping her back, while hers were buried into my hair. When she needed to breathe, I didn't stop, just began trailing open-mouthed kisses along her chin, down to her throat. I could almost taste the blood pumping through her veins underneath the thin skin there. But this wasn't as distracting or alluring as her scent of arousal. She constantly moaned, making me harder than I already was. I bucked up, letting her know what she was doing to me, how much I wanted her. In answer the grinded her hot core into my groin. Even through the many layers I could feel, how wet she already was. I groaned at the realization.

_Take it slow!_ I reminded myself sternly. _But she wants you ... and you want her ..._

Suddenly I could hear a car coming down the street, considerably slowing down the closer it came to the house, which could only mean one thing.

_Fuck! Speak about bad timing!_

I gently pushed against her shoulders. "Bella, we need to stop this, _now_."

"No, no, no, we don't." She insisted, trying to get me to continue where we've left off by pulling at my hair. I rather liked that, but I knew I needed stop her ... right now.

"Your father is back." I let her know. That seemed to sober her up in an instant. She sat up immediately, still panting hard, her face flushed, both from our

I popped myself up on my elbow, watching her, trying to fix her hair and smoothing her clothes.

"Wait for me here?" She asked timidly.

"Sure, I promise." I said, stealing one last kiss from her. "Now go ... eat ... spend some quality time with your dad." I ordered jokingly.

*

*

*

I sat on Bella's bed, waiting patiently for her to finish her dinner with her dad. Well, maybe not so patiently. I already missed her closeness terribly … her touch, her warmth. I grinned, replaying the earlier events in my mind. It had taken everything to stop myself from taking her right then. I wanted her badly, and this desire seemed to increase with time. But considering that she didn't have any experience in this department, I should take this slow … for her sake. But she didn't make it easy to accomplish that.

_Try harder!_

Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to show Bella the letter my sister had left me, like I had originally planned when I came here.

_Funny, how things turn out._

For a moment there, I was imagining how Bella would actually react. I was pretty sure that Bella would appreciate my sister's honesty, and knowing that she was quite perceptive, I wouldn't put it passed her, to read between the lines, maybe even realizing that Edward hasn't left her for her own good but because he actually didn't really love her. At least that was what I was convinced of. I was concerned how she would take this.

But on the other hand, maybe now she would see Rose's true nature, the one my sister has been hiding from her and the rest of the family. Leaving Bella without her consent, without giving her the chance to say goodbye in person, has made quite an impact on both my sister and my brother. I still hoped that Bella would be able to forgive both of them ... at least in time. But knowing Bella, the odds were in their favour.

_Gotta love that girl ... I sure do ..._

Suddenly my beeper buzzed. Peter had given me this thing a few weeks ago. At the time I'd wondered why he hadn't given me a cell phone instead, but he'd just said he had his reasons. _Cryptic son of a bitch!_

I pulled the thing out of my pocket, and read the message.

GET BACK TO THE HOUSE. RIGHT NOW! THERE IS A PROBLEM. P.

Problem? What kind of problem could there be? Did the family return? I doubted that. But whatever it was, it was urgent enough for Peter to let me know. I didn't want to leave, but when the second message came in, repeating the words 'RIGHT NOW' plus a dozen exclamation points, I knew that I had to check it out.

I went over to Bella's desk, picking up a piece of paper and a pen. I wrote Bella a message, telling her that I went home, but promised to return later. I actually felt bad not telling her the truth. But what could I have told her anyway? Until I didn't know what was going on, I didn't want her to worry. I wrote Peter's cell number down, just in case.

I placed the letter in the middle of her bed, where she would find it immediately, and then I was out the window, running home. It only took me minutes.

Peter stood on the porch, scanning the immediate area. He was tense, which was not a good sign. When I reached the house, I could pick up the scent of another vampire right away.

"Someone has been here." I stated the obvious.

"Yes." He confirmed. His voice was strained. "I didn't' recognize the scent. I thought you might though."

I took in a deep breath. The scent was faint, but still strong enough to identify its owner. A low, but menacing growl escaped my chest.

* * *

Bella POV

After dinner I cleaned up the kitchen and Charlie went into the living room to watch some game. I took my time, because I already knew that nobody was waiting in my room upstairs. How I knew this was still unclear to me. It was just like yesterday, when he'd showed up at my window. I had known beforehand, had felt him coming … It was like a buzzing at the back of my mind, telling me when he was near. This feeling had disappeared while I was talking to Charlie during dinner.

_I wonder why I had never felt this kinda connection with Edward …_ I mused for a second, but I quickly discarded that thought.

I wasn't mad that Jasper didn't say goodbye in person. How could he, with my father in the house? I was just a little disappointed, and anxious to be honest. Something important must have come up, otherwise why would he break his promise to wait for my return.

_Maybe he just went hunting …_

Just when I'd finished the dishes, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." I shouted from the kitchen. I could hear Charlie grunt in approval. On my way to the door, I could see that my father hadn't made one move, his eyes fixed on the TV.

_Way to go, Dad. Chivalry is dead._

I finally opened the door, and was more than surprised, when I recognized the person standing on our porch.

* * *

**A/N Oh, oh … again with two evil cliffhanger this time *taking cover behind the couch, sniggering*.**

**Sorry, guys! I promise not to leave you hanging for too long. In the meantime, leave me a message and share your thoughts and guesses with me. Thanks!!!**


	14. The secret is out Part 1

**A/N My sincere apologies for letting you hang there last chapter … with two evil cliffhangers. I can't promise you that it won't happen again ;-), but I'll try not to let you wait too long for an update. **

**It was really interesting to read all of your reviews (Thanks by the way!) and your suspicions about the **_**two**_** visitors. Many of you believed that it is one and the same person, but you will see that's not the case.**

**I don't want to say anything else, just read and **

**Enjoy!!!**

_____________

_Previously …_

_I took in a deep breath. The scent was faint, but still strong enough to identify its owner. A low, but menacing growl escaped my chest._

Chapter 14 The secret is out Part 1

Jasper POV

Even though I only met him once all those many months ago, I could still remember the person this scent belonged to. Laurent.

_What the fuck is he doing here?_

"I take it then you know who it was." Peter surmised correctly.

"Yes." I seethed, pushing past Peter. I went straight into the house to see if Laurent had been in the there too. Thankfully, the only scents I could detect in here were those of us three vampires and of course Bella's. Charlotte sat on the couch. Her eyes opened wide in alert, as she took in my demeanor.

"You both haven't seen him though?" I demanded to know.

"No, we just came back, ten minutes ago." Char answered, sounding very anxious almost frightened. "And Peter informed you right away." She reassured me, her body slightly shaking now.

Peter appeared at Charlotte's side out of nowhere. "Mind if you rein it in for the moment. You are projecting your anger on my mate." His voice was persistent at best. He was concerned, I could feel and see that, but I was too wrapped up tight, to really care.

"Sorry." I apologized curtly, while I frantically paced the room. I knew I needed to pull myself together and focus, but my mind was just reeling. What did Laurent's sudden reappearance mean? A weird feeling in my gut told me whatever the reason was it couldn't be a good one. The last time I'd seen him, was right here in this room, only shortly after James had decided to go against the entire Cullen coven in order to get to Bella. _Sick fucker!_ I was so glad that he was already dead, thanks to me and Emmett. Ripping him apart had made me feel so good, almost alive at that moment. I had done it with pure pleasure especially after what that son of a bitch had done to my precious Bella, even though at the point in time she wasn't mine.

Thinking about that day, brought back all the bad memories and feelings to the front of my mind. Right at this moment I realized how close I had come to lose my angel, and I hadn't even known it back then, how much it would have hurt me if we had been too late to save her. The realization of this truth hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Bella." I moaned, sinking to the ground. Losing or leaving her wasn't an option for me anymore that much I knew. Maybe it never has been a reasonable choice for me … not really anyway. Even back then I'd felt something bubbling underneath the surface, some kind of connection between us, but I'd decided to ignore it rather than to explore it further. I came to realize that it has always been more than only the obligation to keep her safe, because someone else has asked me to. I had done so because it had seemed important to _me_. And now Bella's safety and happiness had become a necessity to assure my own survival. _Funny how things turn out …_

Charlotte was at my side in an instant, patting my back in comfort, but it was Peter who tried to soothe me with words. "You don't have to worry about her. She is safe at her home." His voice was calm and steady.

I could feel the confidence behind his words, but I still had to ask. "How do you know that?"

"I just do. And we've checked the trail he'd left behind. He was going south not west. But why don't you tell us who this guy is, maybe we can figure out together what he's up to." He said, formulating his proposition carefully. Peter knew perfectly well how to act and behave when I was like this, wounded up, stressed, and angry. The worst thing would be to challenge me. I could snap so easily. He put himself at his former position, as my second in command, awaiting my orders, and always ready to comply. His submissive behavior was convenient in such situation. It helped me to calm down some, and thus made it possible for me to focus on the matter at hand.

"You are right." I conceded. I trusted his judgment completely. When he said Bella was safe at the moment, I would believe him, although my entire being practically screamed to go and check on her immediately. I moved myself in a more comfortable position, leaning my back against the couch. Charlotte stayed on the floor as well, a few feet away, while Peter took a seat on a chair. Then I began sharing my thoughts.

"Remember, I told you about that incident with the three nomads from last year. The scent out there belongs to one of them. His name is Laurent. Actually the last time I saw him, he'd said that he was going to Denali. He seemed to be intrigued with our lifestyle, and wanted to try it out. And as far as I know he is still with them, apparently he'd hit it off with Irina." I snorted. I clearly remembered that Irina and her sisters had always been more interested in human males, which was why I was a little surprised when I'd heard about their blooming relationship. But at the time I hadn't given it much thought because I was never very fond of any of them, even though Carlisle thought of them as extended family. Eleazar and Carmen, the two other vampires of the Denali coven were a different story. Since we've shared a similar background, I had gotten along with them better than with some members of my own coven.

"But you don't believe he is truly committed to stick by your lifestyle." Peter stated, not asked.

"Well, I can't be sure of that of course. At the time I hadn't gotten a pretty good read on Laurent. All I can remember is that he was afraid to go up against all of us … he wasn't as overconfident as James. Maybe he'd meant it … or maybe he just wanted an easy way out. I have no idea. But why would he come back, now? Especially when the rest of the family is up there as we speak."

Peter and Charlotte looked at me, completely taken aback by this little piece of news. "How do you know that?" Peter asked, frowning.

"Oh right," I chuckled, taking too much pleasure in the fact that for once Peter seemed lost. "I haven't had the chance to tell you guys yet … Rose had left me a letter." I pulled it out of my back pocket, handing it to Charlotte. She looked at me, silently asking for my permission. I nodded. "Go on, read it." I encouraged her. After she finished reading, she gave the letter to Peter.

A small smile appeared on his face. "I've always loved that girl."

I was stunned. Was this all that he had to say? No sneaky comment on the part about Alice and Edward? "Well, you should definitely call your _twin_ sister … maybe she has some information that could be of some help to us concerning the matter of Laurent." He suggested.

"Yeah, that probably would be a good idea." I approved. "I just want to talk about it with Bella first."

"That's good. And you mean all of it though, right?" Peter clarified, adding, "You shouldn't keep any secrets from her at this point."

"I didn't plan to." I countered, a little miffed. I wasn't Edward, after all. I knew she was strong enough to handle pretty much anything. Keeping her in the dark would only make things complicated between us, and I didn't want that. "And what do mean by 'at this point'?" I stared at him pointedly.

It was Charlotte who answered my question. "We know … about you and Bella."

I openly gaped at her. She just smiled sweetly. "Maybe it's time to let you in on some secret I've been hiding from you. You know that I can see auras. But that's not all." She stopped for a moment, taking in an unnecessary breath. I could sense her hesitation, but it was quickly replaced by determination, like she was making the final decision to let in on her secret. I just looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue, barely noticing that Peter supported of her decision. "Well, there is actually more to my gift than you already know. On top of my ability to see auras of both humans and vampires, I've been able to see certain connections between people."

Her explanation didn't make much sense to me so far, but I was intrigued. "Like what?"

"I can see if people are right for each other." She said, still being evasive.

I was getting impatient. "In plain English!"

"You and Bella are soul mates." She said, letting out a huff. She seemed a little relieved all of the sudden.

But I on the other hand felt like she'd just slapped me. _Maybe I didn't hear her correctly._ But I knew that couldn't be. I had perfect hearing. I was a vampire after all. _Soul mates?_ Of course I knew what the term meant. Being around other mated vampires for decades, being able to sense their undying (no pun intended) devotion for each other, the true depths of their feelings was prove enough for me to understand the term in theory and practice. But I couldn't wrap my head around Charlotte's assessment. She wasn't playing with me, she was telling the truth that much I knew.

_Bella and I are soul mates? Really? Well it explains the sudden intense feelings I have for her. Doesn't it? And I can feel that I am hers for life. But I guess knowing something and understanding it are two different things … But doesn't that also mean …_

An idea began to blossom in my mind, a thought that I really didn't like … _at all_. I'd always thought that Alice had been my mate, although I had just begun to doubt it myself in the last twenty four hours. If what Charlotte had said, was true, then she had always known that Alice and I were never meant for each other … and so had Peter. Was this the reason why they both didn't like her from the start? Because Alice wasn't _the _one for me? Deep down I knew that was not the only reason, but still a vital one. But why would they keep something important like this from me?

"Why didn't you tell me?" I verbalized my last thought out loud, trying very hard to keep my emotions under control, looking at both of my friends.

Again, Charlotte was the one who answered. "I thought it might be too soon … that you wouldn't believe me, since it has been just yesterday that …"

She apparently misunderstood my question, so I interrupted her. "I'm not talking about Bella and me." I sounded harsh to say the least.

"Calm down, Jasper." Peter said, matching my tone of voice. "I know you are upset with us, but be honest. Would you have listened to us, believed us back then? You both had been so into each other. For the first time we've seen you happy and we were relieved to see you like that. You needed her, and apparently she needed you … sort of.

"You know we both don't give a shit about our so-called special abilities, we don't nurture them and we certainly don't rely on them to guide us through our lives. And you have to keep in mind that Charlotte's gift is not a science after all. Things could have been changed with time for all we knew. Okay, now we know that they haven't, but in defense of my mate I have to tell you also that it had been my decision not to tell you in the first place. Char wanted to tell you, because she could see that you weren't as happy as you should have been … But who you are we to make that kind of decision, you needed to discover the truth on your own."

I contemplated his arguments. Although I was still angry, I could see his point. But he wasn't quite finished yet with his explanation. "Be it as it may … I get that you are angry with both of us, and I guess you have every right to be. But even though, we cannot change the past, can we? What's done is done. We both are sorry that you had to find out what a true bitch your wife is the way you did, but maybe this was how it was supposed to happen all along, like fate." He grinned at the end, but I could still sense his sincerity underneath.

I didn't say anything in return. To be honest right this moment I was kind of lost for words. Charlotte and Peter remained silent as well, clearly needing their own time to come to terms with the new reality.

_Bella and I are soul mates … Alice never was the one for me … they've always known … _

I knew it would take some time to digest all this, but deep down I couldn't blame neither one of them for what they've done or neglected to do. They felt truly sorry for how things had turned out. But I knew thinking about the 'what ifs' wouldn't do any good, and it certainly wouldn't change anything. Peter was right, what's done is done, and we all had to deal with the consequences the best way we could.

The sudden sound of Peter's cell phone ringing snapped us all out of our thoughts. My brother pulled it out, looking at the caller ID, and frowned. He flipped it open, and answered in a detached voice. "Whitlock."

* * *

Bella POV

_I finally opened the door, and was more than surprised, when I recognized the person standing on our porch._

"Sam?" I sounded as surprised as I was. The last time he had been here at our house was _the_ night, the one I would rather like to erase from my memory. I'd been lying in the woods for hours exposed to the elements, after I'd unsuccessfully tried to follow Edward. What a foolish idea it has been … as I would be able to catch up with a vampire. Seeing Sam Uley again, brought back those memories full force, and I struggled to keep my emotions under control.

_No panicking … everything is all right …_ I chanted to myself. _Good thing that Jasper is not here to experience this along with me …_ The mere thought of my blonde vampire helped me to calm down.

Sam was the one who'd found me that night, carrying me back to the house. I was still wondering how he'd managed to find me, when the others had searched the woods in vain for hours. But I discarded this thought, because in the end I was just happy to be alive and well. After that incident we had seen each other on occasion, mostly when I'd visited Jake in the past few months, but we'd never had any real contact, which was why I wouldn't count him among my friends. So what reason could he have to come here? Despite my qualms I offered Sam a small, but polite smile.

"Bella." He nodded curtly. His voice was cold, almost detached, and my smile turned into a slight frown. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, like he was nervous about something. Before I could ask what he was doing here, my father appeared at the door. Apparently his curiosity had gotten the better of him after all.

"Sam Uley. This is a surprise." Charlie greeted the man enthusiastically. I could detect a slight change in Sam's attitude. "Is something wrong?" My father requested. He was just as confused as I was about this surprise visit of his.

"No, Charlie, nothing is wrong." Sam quickly assured my father. "I'm just here to talk to Bella, if that's alright?" He formulated his request very politely, a little too respectfully in my view, but it seemed to appease my dad. My father shot me a quick quizzical look, and I just shrugged in answer. I didn't know what Sam Uley could want from me, as we barely knew each other, but I got the distinct impression that whatever it was it seemed to be rather urgent, and that he wanted to talk to me in private. By now I was curious to say the least.

"That's fine with me. Take care, Sam." Charlie said, already retreating back to the couch, returning to watch the game.

"You want to come in?" I offered.

"No." He declined. Was it just my imagination, or did he actually wrinkled his nose in disgust? "Mind if we take a walk instead?"

I shrugged. "Fine with me." I grabbed my jacket and hollered to my father that we would be right outside. The only answer I got was a low grumble. For a second I imagined if he would be so nonchalant about Jasper as well.

_Probably not … considering he used to be part of Edward's family … guilty by association …_

Sam guided me to the tree line at the backside of the house. It was far away for not being overheard by my father, but close enough that we were still in sight. I hadn't noticed before but now I could see that there was no other vehicle parked in our driveway, except my dad's cruiser and my truck. How the hell did he get here?

_On foot? From La Push? Doubtful. But I couldn't remember hearing a car … too many questions. I need answers!_

I abruptly stopped, turning around and crossing my arms in front of my body. "So you wanted to talk, then talk!" I demanded relentlessly, glaring up at him. I already had enough of this ridiculous and weird situation. Sam stood a few feet away from me, and for the first time I noticed the resemblance he had with Emmett. He was just as tall and bulky, and to a stranger he would definitely appear a little threatening. Another thing he had in common with my _former_ favorite brother. But I was neither impressed nor intimated by either one of them. I had always felt save with Emmett, and somehow I felt the same way about Sam. I couldn't think of a reason why I should feel differently. He was just a human after all. The only thing I found a little strange was that although he was only two years older than me, he looked way more mature.

Sam grinned at me, apparently he was a little amused by my challenging behavior. "Bella, I need to ask you a question, and I would appreciate it if you were totally honest with me. Are they back?"

I was more than stunned by his question, I was lost. "I don't know what you are talking about." I answered honestly.

"Don't play stupid. I can sme … I can tell that they are back." He replied icily, his features changing again. His entire body began to tremble slightly, and he was breathing heavy, like he was trying to control his emotions. To be honest his hostile behavior was beginning to worry me a little.

"I really don't know who you mean." I countered, standing my ground.

"The Cullens." He clarified, holding my gaze. The way he said the name, sounded familiar. Very familiar. It sounded just like he'd said 'The Cullens don't come here.' all those months ago. Suddenly something clicked in my mind. All those tiny pieces of information I had coaxed out of Jake at the time on the beach, trying to figure out the mystery about Edward and his family, finally came together, forming a whole picture.

_He knows … he knows what they are … that means … that means he is one of the protectors Jake has talked about … a wolf … a _werewolf_ …_

I took a cautious, but deliberate step back. With this new reality of things I simply felt the necessity to put some distance between me and him. Good thing, he stayed put. I might have bolted if he'd made even one move. I clearly needed a moment.

_What is it about this place? First vampires and now werewolves? I wouldn't be surprised when the next person I meet turns out to be a witch. This is crazy._

All this new information was making my head spin. I had barely enough time to come to terms with all I've found and experienced with Jasper, and now this. I simply couldn't take any more. Sam just watched me very closely though. I was not afraid of him and his true nature, but worried in general. I was pretty sure he could read the emotions on my face.

"I take it from your reaction that you know what I am. That's good. It will make things easier. And I can assure you that I am not going to hurt you, Bella." Sam said, like he was trying to appease me. There was no need for it, but I appreciated the sentiment. I believed that I was in no danger. But then again I could see that his demeanor hasn't changed much. He was still tense. "But they might."

But his last words just did it, pushing me over the edge. My anger spilled over. "You listen to me, Sam. I can tell that you don't like them, and that's your prerogative, I guess. But you don't know them like I do. I trust them, and they haven't done anything to deserve your hostility. They are good people." I snapped at him. "You've made this treaty, now you'll have to stick to it."

He snorted. "You seem to think you know better, but may I remind you how you've been after they've left." He stopped, when he saw my reaction. He quickly realized that was a low blow. "I am sorry, Bella. I didn't come here to make you feel bad. I am just concerned about you and Charlie, that's all. It is my duty to look out for you. But if you want to stay friends with them, I won't stop you, because there isn't anything I can do about that is there? For your sake I hope you know what you are doing. I just came here to get confirmation. With the Cullens back we can protect you here anymore."

"Thank you for your honesty and your sympathy." I said, and meaning it. He grimaced at my choice of words, but I ignored it. My patience was running thin as it was. I wanted this conversation to be over as soon as possible. "And I can assure you we are totally safe. They won't hurt anybody." I said, telling half the truth. Sure, I knew that Jasper didn't feed on humans at all, but Peter and Charlotte did. But from what Sam has told me, I knew that he didn't have all the details, otherwise he might have reacted more aggressive than he already had. And I certainly wasn't going to fill in the gaps for him.

"Well." Sam said, scratching his head nervously. "I guess that's all I needed to say."

"I guess it is." I agreed, already turning towards the house. "Please say hi for me to Jake." I said over my shoulder.

"I will." Sam promised. "Although I don't know how he will take your decision … probably not well." He laughed for the first time.

"It's not up to him." I replied. I didn't stick around any longer to see how Sam was getting home. My anxiety was overweighing my curiosity at the moment. I needed to tell Jasper and the others what I've just found out.

I closed the front door behind me, pulling off my jacket. Then I walked into the living room.

"Is everything okay, kiddo?" Charlie asked from his seat on the couch.

"Yes." I quickly replied, sounding not overly convincing even to myself. "I am tired. I think I'm going to bed now. Night, Dad."

"Okay, see you tomorrow after work. Night, Bella." He said, returning his attention back to the TV.

I raced upstairs, breathing hard. My heart was beating against my chest, and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I was glad that Charlie didn't come after me, to check on me. I was sure though that he knew something wasn't quite right. But he was never one for pushing me to talk, which I appreciated most about our relationship as father and daughter.

I closed the door to my room as quietly as I was able to under the circumstances. I switched on the light, and slumped down on the floor, leaning my back against the door. I closed my eyes. I was surprised how well the conversation between Sam and I had gone, given the stakes. I knew that vampires and werewolves were enemies by nature, from what I've read about them and from what Jake has told me. The Cullens weren't even allowed to go down to La Push. The treaty prevented that, but it also assured a certain tolerance between the two parties. And I was stuck in between. To me they all were just people.

I was overwhelmed. Outside I had been able to hold it together, to show strength instead of weakness. But now I really needed Jasper. His mere presence seemed to have a calming influence on me, not to mention his peculiar gift was a certain advantage. But I didn't know how to get in touch with him. How was it possible that we hadn't exchanged our numbers, but kissed like crazy? I shook my head, but grinned at the memory of his lips on mine.

_Maybe I should take a shower … he will be back soon …_

I pushed myself up, and my eyes fell on my bed. Not two hours ago I had been making out with Jasper on it. The bed was made again, and on its centre laid a folded piece of paper. I went over, and picked it up.

_My sweet Darlin',_

_I know I've promised to stay, but something came up. Please don't worry, I'll tell you everything when I return._

_Yours, JW_

_Just in case, this is Peter's cell phone number: 555-57894361!_

I was so grateful in that moment that Jasper had thought about leaving me a contact number. I pulled out my cell from the bag I hadn't had the chance to unpack yet. I punched in the number, having to erase it twice, because my fingers kept trembling from nerves, and I repeatedly pressed the wrong numbers. On the third try finally I managed to dial the right number.

After the second ring, Peter answered. "Whitlock."

_______________

**A/N So, my lovelies. Still mad with me? I hope the end of this chapter is more to your liking … no real cliffhanger this time, and the mysteries are solved.**

**Laurent and Sam were the intruders. Who would have guessed? Hehe … apparently not many of you. Laurent was on some of your lists, but nobody has considered the involvement of a werewolf … even though I've hinted to their participation in this story a couple of chapters back.**

**As always reviews are appreciated, but not required!**


	15. The secret is out Part 2

**A/N Thanks guys, for reading, reviewing, and putting my story on alert. Over three hundred reviews so far. That's simply awesome!!!**

**I know you've been waiting longer than usual for an update … and I'm truly sorry about the delay. So, without any further delay, here is the next installment.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Chapter 15 The secret is out Part 2

Jasper POV

Whoever the caller was, it must have been someone unknown, otherwise Peter wouldn't have answered with his, uh, _our_ surname.

"Peter … it's me, Bella." I could have sworn my dead heart jumped in my chest, just hearing the voice of my angel. But I could tell right away that something was off. She sounded upset, and a little anxious. Before Peter could answer, I snatched the phone out of his hand, tenaciously ignoring his chuckle.

"Bella, darlin', what's wrong?" I demanded at once, trying not to sound too harshly, but unfortunately not succeeding completely. I was really worried.

_Did Laurent … no she wouldn't be able to call me, if he had …_

"They know … I don't know how … but they know …" She managed to get out, between taking jagged breaths. She wasn't crying, but from what I could tell pretty close to having a full blown panic attack. What the hell has happened over there?

"Bella, sweetheart, please you have to calm down. Take a deep breath. Tell me what happened." I requested with more sensitivity then before. Although my curiosity was starting to get the better of me with each passing second, I knew that it wouldn't do me any good to push forcefully for any information.

Bella took in a few deep breaths before she answered my question. Her voice was barely above a whisper. She probably didn't want our conversation to be overheard by her father. Thanks to my vampire hearing the low volume didn't matter. "Sam Uley came by to speak to me." She began, her voice more steady than before. I listened with interest, but the name didn't ring a bell.

"He is Quileute." She said, and then she went silent. I was stunned speechless. Of course, I knew the Quileute, or I should say that I knew of them, since I've never had the privilege to meet one of them in person. The treaty between them and the Cullens had been established before I had joined the coven along with Alice. When we'd returned to Forks a little over two years ago (though it had been my first time coming to this place) we've been under the impression that the wolves were extinct, or at least that was what Carlisle always believed. With no vampires around this place there was no need for these kinds of protectors for the human race. Carlisle and Edward had met with the tribal elders on neutral territory shortly after our arrival, and they'd established the fact that they were all human. But despite that fact, we still abided by the guideline according to the treaty, which included keeping our distance from Quileute land, and they were forbidden to reveal our secret to the humans. Apparently things have changed.

"He is a werewolf." Bella added carefully, almost reluctantly. Sharing this small but significant piece of information was totally redundant at this point, because I already figured as much.

_Werewolves … just what we've needed … more trouble …_

Mine wasn't the only growl filling the room. Peter and Charlotte had had their own little encounter with these creatures a couple of years ago, down in South America. Because these creatures were our only natural enemies, we tried to avoid contact with them any way possible. Oddly, in all my years of being a vampire I'd never come across any of those creatures myself. Texas had always been ruled by our kind, and from what I knew it still was … maybe not as forcefully but it didn't change the fact.

_Leave it to Bella to draw in another dangerous supernatural creature …_

Too many questions popped up. Did he change in front of her? Or did he just tell her the truth? I doubted that possibility because the Quileute kept their true nature a secret as much as our kind did. How did they know each other in the first place? Was she in even more danger now?

"Jasper?" Bella asked tentatively, pulling me out of my reverie.

"He didn't he hurt you, did he?" I had to ask, though I guessed she would have told me that already, if that has been indeed the case. Or I hoped that she would have done so, knowing how she tended to keep such vital information to herself, in order to spare others from misery or pain.

"No, of course he did not." She answered, sounding slightly miffed, but I couldn't care less in the moment. "We've just talked." She elaborated.

"Okay," I conceded despite my qualms. I didn't want to fight with her, not over the phone anyway. Not when I wasn't able to control the situation with my gift … that was. "I'll come over … then you can tell me everything in person."

"That might be better." She whispered even lower than before.

"Your father?" I assumed.

"Yeah." She sniggered. I was relieved to hear that cheerful sound. It meant she was over the first shock, beginning to deal with the new reality of what she'd just learned about this Sam guy. "I'll leave the window open for you." She added quickly, and then without another word she hung up.

I exhaled loudly. This woman was beginning to drive me insane … in more ways than one. What was it about her that made her so appealing to creatures like us or them? It was almost like she had a bull's eye on her chest, unintentionally making herself an easy target.

_First Edward, than James, and _me_ … and now a werewolf … not to mention the other complications like the van incident … _I groaned internally.

"She is quite the danger magnet, isn't she?" Peter echoed my thoughts.

I chuckled darkly. "She certainly is. But what's even worse than that is that she doesn't seem to be disturbed by that fact whatsoever. I think she doesn't realize the danger we and any other mystical creature represent." I shook my head in exasperation.

"Well so far she's been lucky. Meeting nice guys like us." Peter joked, but I could sense that he shared my concern to some extent. Unfortunately, I doubted that I would be able to make her see reason, trying to convince her that werewolves were much more unpredictable than vampires, especially young werewolves. Her sense of self-preservation was near to non-existent when it came to all things supernatural. Blind trust would get her killed sooner rather than later, and I couldn't let this happen. Keeping her safe was a full time job, in this I seemed to agree with Edward, much to my dislike. But I would handle this situation with more finesse than he has done in the past. I knew if I pushed her too far or I limited her choices, I would drive a wedge between us. I had no intention to make her angry with me over something like this. But nevertheless, I needed her to understand that despite her mental strength, she certainly was no match to any of us physically. She wanted to be treated like an equal, but she truly wasn't. Not fully, not yet anyway.

Charlotte walked slowly over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Try to take it easy on her, Jasper. I guess she won't respond very well to you telling her what to do. Am I right?" I nodded, grinning. I was quite surprised how well Charlotte seemed to know Bella only after one day. "Talk to her. Let her explain her point of view, before you share yours. She might be a little stubborn but she is not stupid."

"I will heed your advice." I concurred in earnest, though I was not sure if I would be successful. Calling Bella stubborn was an understatement in my opinion. She was quite persistent when it came to her believes, that much I'd realized the first time I'd the opportunity to meet her in person, the first time she'd came here to meet the entire Cullen family. Though I kind of respected and admired her strong will and endless amount of trust she seemed to possess, I knew that in this case she didn't know what she was up against. And what made it worse I shared this certain character trait of hers, which would make it rather difficult to find a common ground on this particular matter without turning this into a fight. How she was even capable of keeping her sanity in all this was beyond me. Bella was truly a unique specimen of the human race.

From what I've already figured out so far the wolves seemed only to be aware of my presence, which was probably a good thing all things considered. If this Sam had any knowledge of Peter and Charlotte, he might have done more than just seeking confirmation by talking to Bella. Suddenly I remembered the weird stench I'd picked up yesterday around her house. They must have kept an eye on her for quite some time, which made me wonder if today wasn't the first time Laurent had come here.

_Maybe he had been sneaking around the area for days … good thing we came here …_

At this point my military training fully kicked in. I knew it was time to act. I picked up Rose's letter and stashed it back into my back pocket. In vampire speed I rushed upstairs to my study to retrieve the cell phone and charger she'd left for me from my desk. Now I had one more reason to call my sister, considering she was more familiar with the Quileutes than me. Moments later I was back in the living room. Peter and Charlotte were sitting on the couch at this point, looking expectantly at me, like they were awaiting further orders.

"I'll head over to Bella's now, and will stay there all night. Hopefully she has some more information, and of course I intent to tell her about the other problem." I announced. Both of them nodded in agreement. "And do me a favor. Stay here in the house, until I know what this thing with the wolves is about. The treaty doesn't involve you guys." I advised, although it was actually more an order than a recommendation.

"Aye, aye, Captain." Peter fake saluted at me.

"That's still Major for you." I growled playfully, earning me a chuckle from both of my friends. I was more than ready to leave at this point, but I had one more thing to say. I turned around to face Peter and Charlotte once more.

"Just so you know, this thing you've told me before … about Bella and I being soul mates … and you hiding the truth about it from me … it isn't over and done yet, as far as I'm concerned." I reminded them sternly. Charlotte actually felt a little guilty, but Peter was unimpressed by my threat or my advice … as usual.

"Of course, whatever you say, _Major_." He replied, smirking. "We'll be here tomorrow. Now go, take care of your woman." His cool behavior was really annoying, but I knew that now was not the time to put him in his place, so I just rolled my eyes at him, and turned my back on them. A second later I was out of the door … on my way to return to my angel. To the place where I belonged. My home.

________________

Bella POV

As it turned out I'd hung up the phone just in time. A moment later I could hear Charlie making his way up the stairs. Even though I've tried to speak as quietly as possible (I was grateful for the sensitive vampire ears for once), I wasn't quite sure if I'd actually succeeded to keep the phone call a secret from my father. He was a cop after all.

And then there was a gentle knock on the door. "Come in, Dad." I invited him at once, leaning casually against the headboard of my bed, with a book in my lap, nothing out of the ordinary that would make him suspicious.

Charlie pushed the door ajar, only poking his head in. "I just wanted to say goodnight again." He said, sounding not overly convincing, but I didn't let him know that I could see right through his ruse. I just smiled at him benignly.

"Goodnight, Dad." I said, yawning falsely. I was anything but tired, but I knew that my father had to believe that I was. It was still pretty early … around nine thirty, but since Charlie had to work a double shift the next day, at least he needed to go to bed this early. This fact only worked into my favor. I knew Jasper would be back soon; hopefully my dad would be fast asleep by then.

_Well, if not … Jasper would be able to help him out there … sometimes his peculiar gift comes in handy …_ I smiled at that thought.

Charlie nodded his head curtly. "I'll see you tomorrow then … around dinner time." He said, closing the door again. I listened to his retreating footsteps, as he made his way to the bathroom. I let out a breath of relieve. My father was not stupid, he probably knew something was up, but he'd never force any information out of me, which was only one reason why I loved him so much. His concern of me falling back into that black hole of depression was still there, of this I was certain, although he has seen how much my mental state had improved even before today.

_But it's probably his prerogative … being a parent and all …_

I felt terrible keeping things from him, but then again I wasn't ready to tell him that one of the Cullens was back in town, and most of all that I had no problem with that fact whatsoever. I knew my father wouldn't understand my reaction, not after witnessing my complete mental breakdown after the Cullen's sudden departure five months ago. And I could hardly tell him the truth about the reason behind their departure and Jasper's involvement in it. He wouldn't believe me anyway, who would? I would probably only end up in a padded cell … for finally losing it.

But besides keeping his true nature and his return to Forks a secret I truly had no idea how I could even begin to explain to my father that I'd fallen for Jasper. Not only was he known to be Edward's brother and with it happing so fast, only after a day, I could imagine what people might think when the word got out.

_She can't have the one brother … so she moves on to the next … typical rebound behavior …_

And I still had my own problems wrapping my head around this myself … which was part of the reason why I wasn't quite ready to share this news with anyone. Oddly, I had no problem that Peter and Charlotte had noticed that something was going on between us, but maybe because it seemed to me that they didn't mind. Quite the contrary actually … which was a relief.

This was happening fast, I knew that. But it felt so right, which made it that much more confusing. The things I felt when I was with Jasper were so strong, almost overwhelmingly strong to tell the truth. It had been a long time since I've felt so alive … and happy. Come to think of it, I'd never known this kind of happiness in my entire life. Not even when I was with Edward. This whole situation was truly weird, to say the least. And I was simply amazed that Jasper did reciprocate my feelings, not only because he'd told me so, but because I could see it in his eyes and feel it as well.

_Lying as an empath must be difficult._ I mused, although I knew perfectly well that he could manipulate the emotional climate around him. But something told me that I could trust him to never do that to me, not unless I'd give him permission to influence me this way. He would never lie to me. _So, maybe this was supposed to be, like fate … who knows … which would bring up a whole lot of new questions …_

Then I heard the water in the bathroom shut off, and my father retreating to his own bedroom.

_Good._

I didn't know how much time I had left before Jasper would make his reappearance, but I really needed a shower. Not that I felt dirty or something, but I knew it would help me calm down some, thus helping me to sort out my many feelings and thoughts. After unlocking my window to keep up my promise, I pulled my bag of toiletries out of the still unpacked back bag and quietly made my way into the bathroom. I quickly got rid of my clothes, and stepped into the shower.

The hot water did what I'd hoped it would. I immediately felt more relaxed, the heat was unknotting the tense muscles in my back. Maybe sleeping on Jasper's couch last night wasn't such a good idea after all, though I certainly didn't regret sleeping in Jasper's arms. I rather hoped for a repeat performance.

_More than one, if it is up to me._ I smiled impishly.

Just then I became aware of Jasper's presence, and I acknowledged that that fact could have something to do why I felt more at ease all of the sudden. I didn't hear a noise, of course, with him moving like a ghost, stealthy in order to keep his presence a secret from my father, but I was sure he was close by, maybe even already in the house. The knowledge of the blond, drop-dead-gorgeous vampire waiting for me in the other room made me feel very nervous again… but in a good way. I smiled in anticipation, but continued to wash my body and hair thoroughly, since I was in no real hurry. Knowing he was close was enough … for the moment.

As much as I wanted to just throw myself back into his arms, I knew that he didn't come here to make out with me again … or at least this wasn't the foremost reason for his return tonight. I'd barely told him anything about my encounter with Sam Uley over the phone, but his reaction to the word 'werewolf' hadn't gone unnoticed by me. His growl had been hard to miss, and accompanied by the ones of his fellow vampire friends menacing at best. I shuddered at the memory.

This kind of reaction shouldn't be such a big surprise. I could understand that they wouldn't be able to become friends, not when they were enemies by nature. There was only thing I hoped for … that Jasper wouldn't try to tell me that I should keep my distance from Jake and his friends, just because he didn't like werewolves. I was pretty sure Edward would have behaved this way … always the protector, the superior in our relationship. I'd promised myself that I won't go there ever again. This time I would fight.

Things used to be so different when I had been with Edward. Despite his repeated reassurance of his love I have always been able to sense something else coming from him, an underlying feeling of unwillingness to take things further … and not only in the sexual department. The way he'd detested the idea of me becoming like him should have been the first warning sign. But I'd trusted him, because I'd loved him with all my heart. And then he'd said all those horrific things in the woods … and suddenly everything had made sense. I could slap myself now that I'd ever believed anything that had come out of his mouth. His promise that he'd never hurt me, that he'd loved me … it was all a lie. Thank goodness the realization of that fact didn't upset me that much anymore not like it used to. I was truly making progress.

The interesting point was that even after only one day I could tell that Jasper was nothing like Edward. And I knew that it wasn't solely because of his gift, which made him very sensitive to other people's feelings, but it still was a significant aspect, I guessed.

_Is it just me or is the fact that I am comparing my former boyfriend with my current one a little weird? If that's what Jasper is to me now … well I cannot help myself and I guess it is normal for a human girl my age …_ I shrugged, rinsing out the shampoo.

Jasper and I already had a strong connection after this short time, this much I knew. But I was wondering why I was able to sense Jasper in the first place, since I had never been able to do something like that with Edward or any of the others. As far as I knew this ability was a vampiric trade, not a human one. But nevertheless, I couldn't deny that I liked this new sensation, because it made me feel giddy with joy for one … and free from worry for another.

But the more I thought about it, the clearer the truth became to me. My every response and feeling towards Jasper was different from what I've experienced with Edward. There were actually many things that set them apart. Apart from the obvious difference in hair color and style, Jasper was definitely a few inches taller than Edward, and from what I could tell without having seen either one of them naked (much to my disappointment), Jasper's body was more defined, more muscular. I liked it … a lot.

I could still remember the taste of him, how could I forget. His taste was as unique as his scent. It reminded me of cinnamon and something earthy … totally intoxicating and definitely more manly … not as sickly sweet as Edward's scent. I couldn't hold back a giggle at that realization. How did I ever find Edward's scent appealing? Jasper's eyes were also more captivating than Edward's ever had been. To be honest, his entire essence called to me. It was already pretty hard to keep my hands of him as it was. The way Jasper made me feel, while we were kissing or snuggling, was simply amazing. I liked the physical part of this new relationship a lot, of course, but since I was pretty much inexperienced with the whole sex stuff, the rate we were progressing in this matter was making me feel a little anxious. What if I couldn't live up to his expectations? Knowing that he'd lived at least for a hundred years implied that he had a lot of experience in that matter. Logically, I should probably be grateful for that fact, but as it was … logic went right of the window when feelings were involved. Should or could I talk with him about my qualms? I guessed he would be open to that kind of conversation … definitely more cooperative than Edward ever has been. Not that I was interested in him sharing any details of his experiences with me in words … god forbid … but I needed him to understand my fears on the matter. And from what I could tell from our earlier endeavors he was _very_ interested to take things further. I flashbacked to this afternoon … our mouths almost clued together, tongues discovering the other one's mouth, hands traveling over our still covered bodies …

_Arghhh … Keep it together … Jasper is in the other room …_ I reminded myself, hopefully shutting down my emotions just in time before he was able to catch onto the change in my emotional mood. Thinking about Jasper's body certainly had an effect on me, but right now I didn't want him to know that … especially with my mind still busy with other things …

Of course it wasn't just the dissimilarities in looks that set them apart from each other. Sure to a human eye they both were beautiful, otherworldly beautiful, along with the rest of their kind. But I wasn't petty like Jessica or Lauren who were attracted only by good looks of them. To be honest, I didn't give a damn about their appearances, even though it was the first thing that had caught my eye. I rather wished they wouldn't look like gods. But instead of the familiar feeling of inadequacy, I simply felt happy and loved in Jasper's presence … like I belonged by his side. He was like my true home, making me feel welcomed, and worthy. And this fact was more important to me than anything else, considering that I'd never felt this way with Edward.

But even in the little time I've spent around Jasper the last two days, I have been able to notice more significant differences between him and Edward. I didn't know how many years older Jasper was … physically and literally … but I could already tell that Jasper had experienced much more in his life than Edward. I could see that in his eyes. Whatever the secret about his past was, I assumed that it had something to do with his alleged struggle to abstain human blood. I wondered if someone else had ever noticed how much pain and sorrow was hidden beneath those beautiful golden eyes of his. I had seen similar signs in Peter's and Charlotte's red eyes, which kinda made sense, since they apparently shared the same experiences. I really wanted to hear about his past, not only because I was curious, and didn't like secrets in general, but because I knew that it would be an important step forward … for him … for me … for us. I might not have a lot of experience in this whole relationship business, but I strongly believed that any relationship … whether it was just a simply friendship or a romantic relationship … could only work if both parties were honest and open with each other.

_No secrets in the house of love …_

But I knew he was scared to tell me about his past, scared about my reaction I figured. And anything able to scare a vampire couldn't be good news for a human. But whatever it was, how horrible or tragic, I would do my best to show my support and understanding. And anyway, I fell in love with the person he had become, the person he was now, which of course didn't mean that I'd dismiss anything he would tell me about his past, because I could tell that he still struggled with the aftermath of it to some extent. I could tell he was not proud of his past, so I assumed it was definitely something more, something worse than Edward's little era of teenage rebellion. I had been able to show sympathy towards him, so I would do the same for Jasper. I hoped he knew that.

At last the hot water ran out, and I knew it was time to leave the bathroom. But as soon as I stepped out of the shower, reaching for my towel, I was faced with a problem. I had forgotten to bring a change of clothes with me, when I had come in here. Since I didn't want to put on my old clothes, I had no other choice. I wrapped the towel around my body. Thankfully it was large enough to cover most of my body. Then I finally left the bathroom and tiptoed back into my room.

Jasper sat on my bed, casually leaning back at the headboard like I'd done a couple of minutes ago, just with my pillow in his lap instead of a book. On a quick glance he surely looked like the picture of ease. But once our eyes met, I had to take that back. He looked more like the bad boy image a mother would warn her daughter about. Sexy, dangerous, and ready to pounce.

_Oh, boy I'm in trouble …_

* * *

Jasper POV

Of course it didn't take me long to get back to Bella's house. Luckily, I managed to come across a deer on my way. Though I wasn't quite thirsty, I knew that it would help calm down my nerves some. I quickly took it down, and since my table manners were somewhat better than Emmett's I was able to drain the large animal without leaving a spot on my shirt. I quickly disposed off the empty carcass and then continued on my path.

The closer I came the more intensified the stench of the werewolves got.

_Nasty, reeking creatures …if the humans were able to smell that shit, they would keep their distance as well …_ I chuckled at the mere improbability of this thought. Sometimes I envied the humans for their lesser developed senses and their lack of knowledge about the true evil in this world. _Ignorance is bliss … sometimes …_

I stopped at the edge of the woods behind Bella's house, surveying the area, just in case. But then again with them knowing I was in the neighborhood, the wolves would probably stay away from Bella and her house from now on. And since I had no reason to leave her alone … trouble or no trouble … they won't have any reason to be back any time soon.

To my knowledge the wolves couldn't have been back longer than two years, which meant they were still young, and thereby unpredictable, a trade of character they were known for in general. They acted on pure instinct, which was why they were definitely no good company for a human, especially one that associated herself with vampires. If it were up to me, Bella would do best to keep her distance from La Push all together.

_Making this suggestion will be interesting_ … I grinned, but at the same time I was anxious to see her reaction. I knew I had to be sneaky about this, or I would drive her away. Unfortunately, she was more challenging with me, than she has ever been with Edward. _She has no idea who she's dealing with … Edward is relatively harmless for a vampire … but me … not so much … or at least I'd used to be …_

There was light in Bella's room, but I could also hear the water running in the bathroom. I knew without any visual confirmation that it was Bella in there. Her father was almost asleep in his room. I reached out to him with my gift, sending him strong waves of lethargy, thus helping him along. This kind of act was prudent for my return into the house. Not that he could sense me or hear my entrance, but it would be helpful nevertheless with him deep asleep.

I quickly climbed up the tree near Bella's window. I smiled, when I realized that she has kept her promise. The window wasn't shut tied as usual, but left ajar … for me. I pushed it open with one foot and swung myself into her room. The room was still the same as I'd left it an hour ago. I shut the window without making any noise, keeping the cold outside, the warmth and her delicious scent inside. I took in a deep breath.

_God, I love her scent … I can't believe I've ever been able to live without this …_ I groaned, not loud enough for her to hear. But at this point it wasn't necessary to announce my presence by sound. I could tell from her emotional state that she was already aware that I was here. I plopped myself on her bed, leaning my back against the headboard. I hoped that I didn't have to wait too long for her return.

While I was waiting, I kept myself entertained by monitoring Bella's emotions, which was almost like channel surfing on TV. One emotion was quickly replaced by another … _sadness … humor … happiness … doubt … faith … trust … thoughtfulness … hope … clarity … hate … love … lust_ … all in all an rich buffet of variety for an empath. I'd never come across someone who was able to go through so many different emotions in such a short time. But what really made this feast enjoyable for someone like me, was the intensity and purity of her emotions. There was never something deceitful about her intensions or emotions.

The last one of her emotions caught my attention in particular. I was already wound up tight, horny as hell to be honest. And how could I not be, with her scent assaulting my senses. And the mental picture of her naked in the shower just in the next room wasn't helping. For one fleeting moment I thought about joining her, but I knew that this wasn't the right time, and even if it was, Bella wasn't ready to take that step … not yet anyway. Even though the shower was definitely a great place to have sex, especially for a vampire, it wouldn't be my first choice to take her virginity.

_First time on a bed … than I'll show her how much fun we can have elsewhere … the shower is definitely on the top of my list …_

I gripped Bella's pillow, burrowing my head in it, in order to stifle the moan I was unable to hold back. Not a great idea as it turned out, because the pillow was drenched with her scent too, in more concentrated form to boot. I inhaled deeply nevertheless, and my jeans became even tighter. I groaned._ Shit …_

Getting rid of a hard on wasn't an easy task for a vampire as it was for a human, and since jerking off was clearly out of the question, I would have to will it away. I snorted at that thought. I placed the pillow over my crotch, just in case Bella would make her appearance prematurely.

_Come on try it … Think of something else … anything that gets your mind of sex … sex with Bella … eating human food … endless shopping spree with Alice … Emmett naked …_ That finally did it. I felt my erection die away, slowly but surely. I exhaled.

At this time I realized something has changed. Just moments ago I was pretty much drowning in a sea of emotions, but now … there was nothing … just a void. I could still sense her in the next room, could still hear her heartbeat, which was slightly accelerated, but I couldn't get a read on her emotional state anymore. I assumed that she'd deliberately shut herself off again. God, I hated when she was doing that. The last emotion I'd been able to pick up had been embarrassment.

_Okay … it kinda makes sense all things considered …_ I reasoned, but I still didn't like it. It felt like she was keeping secrets from me. _Look who's talking … you are not exactly forthcoming either …_

I sat with the pillow still in my lap, thinking about how I could tell Bella about my past, the horror I've lived through and inflicted on countless numbers of humans and vampires alike. Sure, I knew that Bella was probably the most forgiving person I've ever come across. But could she still love me after hearing about my previous life? I wouldn't begrudge her if she couldn't … but it would definitely break my heart.

A few minutes later I heard Bella turning off the water. I still couldn't pick up anything that would tell what kinda mood she was in, I only heard her sigh, which could mean anything from annoyance to happiness. I hoped it was the latter.

The door opened slowly and Bella stepped in. I took in a sharp breath, almost hissing. She was only wearing a towel … if you could call a towel a piece of cloth. What the fuck was she thinking walking in here dressed like this? That sight of my angel nearly naked wasn't helping at all; it had me wavering in my resolve. I needed to tell myself again that I didn't come here to make out with her … well not to begin with. She smiled at me, a little timidly though, but still lovingly. Although I couldn't see my own face, I was pretty sure my answering smile looked more like a grimace than a smile. I had a hard time to keep my position, especially when the scent of her arousal hit me full force.

_First business then pleasure! _I told myself sternly, though my dick had clearly a mind of its own.

"Hi." She said softly, closing the door behind her, but keeping her position at the door.

"Hi." I replied lamely. We looked at each other for a few silent moments, both unsure what to do or say next. The sexual tension was palpable, even though she was still hiding her feelings from me, and it was very distracting.

"Hmm … I think I need to change." She said, shifting her weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. I could see that she was starting to freeze.

I felt a little naughty … well _a lot_ actually.

"Go ahead." I replied with a smirk, waving my hand, signaling her to proceed.

* * *

**A/N Well, what do you think?**


	16. Ready to talk, or not?

**A/N I am back at last! Yippee! I am truly sorry that it took me so long to update, but it was unavoidable. Life happening and whatnot …**

**Thanks as always for still following my story and reviewing. I am so very thrilled about all the responses I've gotten so far. We are at 400 already. Wow!**

**Many of you have requested that Bella should just drop the towel. To be honest I've actually toyed around with that idea myself (many naughty, and yummy thoughts) … before I've finally decided to drop it. As fun as it would have been it didn't really fit into my storyline. My Bella might be a little more confident but not that straight forward when it comes to sexual advances … not yet anyway. Remember, she is still a virgin, and therefore inexperienced.**

**This is the first part of the information sharing between Bella and Jasper. Jasper has to make a few difficult decisions what to share with her and what to keep a secret for the time being … the same goes for Bella.**

**Enjoy!!!**

* * *

_Previously …_

_I felt a little naughty … well _a lot_ actually._

"_Go ahead." I replied with a smirk, waving my hand, signaling her to proceed._

* * *

Chapter 16 Ready to talk, or not?

Jasper POV

Bella stood frozen in place with her mouth hanging slightly open. Even with this stupid look on her face, she still was breathtakingly beautiful. If anything it made her look even more adorable. But maybe I only thought so because my mind was … for the most part … on one thing at the moment.

_SEX_. No surprising response on my part though, considering that I was confronted with the image of my beautiful angel half naked. I swallowed down a groan that threatened to escape my throat.

It was quite reasonable that Bella was taken aback by my blunt suggestion to dress with me right there, watching her _very_ closely. This whole thing between us was still new, and I knew that it was way too soon for her to take this part of our blooming relationship to the next level. I knew I had to be patient, even though patience wasn't definitely one of my strongest points, especially when it came to all things sex. But I also knew I had to give her the time she needed, letting her make all the decisions on that particular matter. Except, she was making it very hard for me (no pun intended) every time I was close to her, to keep my own promise with taking it slow. Right now, even more than ever before.

_She really should get dressed, before I do something I might regret later …_

Although my focal point was still on Bella's eyes, thanks to my vampiric abilities I was able to see every detail of her exposed body in my peripheral vision. The towel hid everything from the top of her breasts to a few inches above her knees from my view, but there was still enough to catch my attention.

I could see every freckle on her skin; I even would be able to count every hair on her body. Her skin was pale, almost as colorless as mine. It wasn't unusual for humans around here not having a tan, due to the lack of sunny days in this place. But then again Bella did grow up in Arizona, and she was already this pale the time she'd moved here. I knew she preferred the sun, but apparently she wasn't much into taking prolonged, extensive sunbaths, which was fine, because her skin looked more creamy than unhealthy. Delicious even. I couldn't wait to taste every inch of it, curious to find out if she tasted as good as she smelled.

_All in due time …_

There was a scare right underneath her right kneecap, shaped like a question mark. I was pretty sure it wasn't the only scare on her body, but certainly the biggest and most interesting one I could see. I wasn't surprised to discover such marks on her body. She was known to be a clumsy girl.

The funny thing was that I just realized that she hadn't tripped even once in the last two days, which made me think that she wasn't really as prune to accidents as Edward had made us all believe.

But seeing that she was marked like me, also gave me some hope. True, her scars were nothing compared to mine, in number or texture. But still, disgust was the last thing on my mind when I thought of her body. She was simply amazing, in every sense of the word. If anything, the little flaws on her body made her even more perfect in my eyes.

Would she be able to share my point of view on this matter? And even if she didn't think of me as repulsive, would she be able to deal with the reasons behind my scars' origin?

Bella didn't comment on my earlier request. She didn't make a move either, but she blushed furiously under my intense scrutiny.

_Typical Bella behavior …_ My grin grew wider, when I saw her clutching the towel even more tightly then before. She was probably afraid that it might slip accidentally, and thus showing me the goods underneath.

_Well, there is hoping …_

Bella still stood in the same spot, almost like she was waiting for me to make a move. I could hear her heartbeat pick up pace, and as always her breathing got accelerated as well. She was definitely nervous, but even though I still couldn't tap into her emotions I was certain that she was a little excited too. I truly enjoyed that I had that effect on her, making her squirm uncomfortably in this way. Okay, maybe I enjoyed it a little too much. But at least her discomfort distracted me a little from my growing desire to get the best of me in the end. I really tried to remain on the bed, but it became harder with each passing moment, especially with her smelling even better after taking a shower. I was one step away from pouncing on her and taking what was rightfully mine.

_Wow, hold your horses, Major. This is not the time to demonstrate your possessive side …_ I cautioned myself.

Bella's eyes were still glued to mine, almost unwavering. As much as I enjoyed this staring contest, I knew we had a lot to talk about before the night was over. And she was the one who was in need of sleep at night, not me. Time was running out.

At last I got up from the bed, moving very slowly, almost stealthily towards her, trying my best not to scare her by moving too fast. But despite my effort I closed the distance between us much quicker than I'd intended to. It felt like she was unconsciously pulling me towards her, or I wasn't strong enough to withstand her draw under the circumstances. The reason really didn't matter at the moment, because I could sense a change in the atmosphere around us.

I noticed Bella taking a small step away from me, lightly bumping into the door. First I smiled at her futile attempt to get away from me, but then I realized the alarmed look on her face. I quickly understood what I looked like to her.

_A predator hunting his prey … shit … mayor fuck up …_

"Bella." I called her name lovingly, reaching out with my hand. To my utter surprise she flinched away. I could smell her fear now. I dropped my hand at once and took a few steps away from her, thus showing her that I didn't mean her any harm. How did this happen? She knew I wouldn't hurt her. But something must have set her off. What have I done wrong now?

"I am sorry, darlin'. It wasn't my intention to scare you. I will never hurt you. You know that, right?" I spoke softly, hoping to reassure her a little bit more with my words. She has visibly relaxed when I've given her some space, and my words seemed to do the rest to appease her further. But she still had that confused look on her face.

"But your eyes are black." She stated, her voice shaking slightly. I could tell that her emotions were all over the place, even though I still wasn't able to get a read on them with my ability. One look at her face and into her eyes told me everything I needed to know. Well, almost everything.

I frowned at her answer for a second, before I understood the meaning behind her words. She thought I was hungry, which wasn't the case of course, but apparently she didn't realize that.

"Yes, I guess they are." I replied calmly. "But I am not hungry, if that's what you have been afraid of." To prove my point I put even more distance between us. I sat down in the rocking chair in the far corner of her room.

"I don't understand." Bella mumbled, taking a cautious step away from the door, but she didn't move any further into the room. I couldn't pick up any trace of adrenaline in her blood any more. This was a good sign. At least she was no longer afraid of me. That's a start.

"Hunger … or shall I say thirst isn't the only reason for our eyes to change color." I began to explain. I guess Edward hasn't told her about that.

_Hmmm, I wonder why not …_ I mused. But now was not the time to ponder over this. I could see that Bella was really starting to freeze. And to be honest I couldn't take the sight of her standing half naked in front of me any longer either.

"Why don't you change into your pj's and then we can talk?" I proposed in earnest. She arched an eyebrow at me, and I couldn't suppress a chuckle this time. "Honestly, Bella. I only have your wellbeing in mind. You are freezing, and I couldn't have that. I promise I will keep my eyes closed the whole time … even if it will take every bit of strength I have." I winked at her, but shut my eyes at once. To show I wasn't playing any games with her this time I even covered my eyes with my hand. I smiled when I heard her giggle at my actions.

* * *

Bella POV

Jasper was right with his assessment. I felt a little chilly, even though the room was quite warm. But to be honest, being a little cold wasn't the only reason why I appreciated his suggestion to get dressed ... _again_. Actually, there was a more pressing reason at the moment. I couldn't stand being half naked in Jasper's presence any longer.

What had been just a convenient choice (and a totally innocent one I might add) at the time had turned out to be a terrible idea after all. Soon after I'd walked back into my room, I began to regret my decision. How could I have been so stupid? Even with the towel covering most of my body I felt utterly exposed. I was just glad that x-ray vision wasn't part of the vampire skill set.

Jasper just sat there on my bed, staying immobile as only a vampire could, his eyes clued to mine. But somehow I knew that he was observing my entire body … well at least the parts he could see. And the longer Jasper stared at me, the stronger my feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy became. To make things harder, I couldn't move or speak, feeling utterly trapped in his intense gaze, reminding me of the helpless rabbit being caught in the eyes of the snake, just before she would make her move to strike … in order to kill. I dismissed this disturbing thought at once, because I knew in my heart that Jasper wouldn't hurt me, otherwise I would have been dead a long time ago.

But then Jasper got up from my bed and walked over to where I was still standing frozen in place, stopping right in front of me. At last I was able to see his eyes clearly. Of course, my mind only came up with one explanation at the sight of his black orbs. Thirst. Thirst for my blood. Shying back from him was just a natural response. Funny thing though because this was a first for me, the girl who seemed to have no sense of self-preservation according to Edward and probably every other vampire who'd met me. Apparently I was missing a certain kind of gen in my genetic make-up.

I truly hated to admit that there was a moment when the thought I might be wrong about my assessment of being completely safe in Jasper's presence crossed my mind. It was just a fleeting thought, but it was there. My instinct fought with my mind and heart for the upper hand. But then I realized that I wasn't really afraid for my own safety, but afraid for him. I remembered how hard it always had been for Edward, and although Jasper hadn't shown any sign of weakness so far in the last two days, I knew that he couldn't be immune to the scent of my blood. It might not be calling to him, but he was a vampire after all. Being drawn to human blood came with the territory.

Jasper must have sensed my anxiety right away, even though I was still keeping all my emotions to myself. Or at least I thought I was. Anyhow, my behavior was probably easy to interpret under the circumstances even without the aid of his special gift.

Hearing his apology for scaring me and seeing him retreat quickly, thereby giving me the needed space to calm down, reassured me at once that he didn't mean me any harm. Of course I believed his words. I knew I really shouldn't have doubted him. But even though, I still didn't understand, and apparently neither did Jasper, what had gone wrong in the first place. I was sure the concerned and confused look on his face mirrored my own.

But how could I have known that there was another reason for his black eyes? Nobody has ever handed me a guidebook on all things vampire. Having something like that would come in handy in situations like this, would make things a lot easier for me to understand their strange behavior and react accordingly, but maybe it would be a little less exciting too. Who knew …?

However, it seemed like that Jasper wasn't as reluctant as Edward always had been in giving me answers. Somehow I was certain that Jasper would answer any question I'd ask … even the hard ones … well at least in time. I was more than grateful for that.

Jasper sat in my rocking chair, with one hand covering his already closed eyes. I laughed at his antics, although I appreciated the gesture immensely. I turned my back on him, knowing I could trust him not to peek. I opened the drawer of my vanity and pulled out some gray sweatpants, a dark red tank top and some panties. I dropped the towel and quickly got dressed. I picked up my brush from the vanity and tried to get knots out of my hair. When I was finished, I picked up the towel from the floor, and hung it over the backrest of my chair to dry.

Then I turned around again, and I noticed that Jasper was still sitting in same position, like he hadn't moved even an inch. He hadn't made a sound either, the whole time it took me to get changed and comb my hair, which couldn't have been more than three minutes.

I stood there in the middle of my room, a few feet away from the blond vampire, just watching him in silence for another minute or two. The only noises _I _could hear were the faint snoring sound of my father sleeping in the other room, and the wind rustling through the trees outside.

I wasn't stalling or anything, but once again I got enthralled by Jasper's mere presence. His blond locks hung around his face, slightly out of order, sort of begging me to run my fingers through them, feeling the silky texture. Jasper was dressed in tight, worn out dark jeans and a simple long-sleeved, black shirt. His entire outfit stood in stark contrast to his pale complexion, making him look even more otherworldly. I could remember that he'd used to dress very differently, more like Edward. But honestly, this looked more like _his_ style. Especially the cowboy boots. To put it in one word, he looked hot.

Even though he wasn't able to see me at the moment I was sure that his other senses were telling him exactly where I was and what I was doing. To prove my point a small smile appeared on his face. I cocked my head to the side and bit my lower lip, trying to keep myself from laughing. I finally couldn't wait any longer and I walked over to him. I dropped on my knees right in front of him.

"I am decent now. You can open your eyes, if you want to." I said in a soft voice, barely more than a whisper. But of course he could hear me just fine. He dropped his hand and reopened his eyes.

"Thanks." Jasper said, exhaling theatrically. His eyes found mine at once. I was glad to see that they were back to their usual golden color. It didn't escape my notice that he took a quick glance at my new attire, nodding approvingly, before his eyes went back to mine. Apparently he took just as much comfort in the fact that I'd changed my outfit as I did. I smiled warmly at him.

Now that the nervous tension had left my body and my mind, I remembered again how much I've craved Jasper's touch only minutes ago. I laid my hands on his knees, feeling the same electric current running through my body just like every time we've touched. I shuddered slightly from the pleasure. Without any hesitation Jasper grabbed my upper arms, easily pulling me into his lap. I went willingly.

"I am sorry, my darlin'." He said again, slightly caressing my arms with his hands, only leaving me yearning for more. "If I had any idea … I really don't want to scare you … _ever_. I hope you can forgive me." His eyes were pleading with me. He truly seemed to be mortified by his earlier behavior. But it wasn't his fault that I'd reacted the way I did.

"Of course, Jasper. There is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong. I was just a little freaked out for a moment there I guess … that's all." I reassured him with words and a quick access to my emotional state. He smiled, pulling me into a tight embrace. "I am okay now." I whispered into his hair. I couldn't help myself but breathed him in, and he did the same to me, which made me realize something.

I pulled back. "Maybe _I_ should be the one to apologize to you." I began awkwardly.

He frowned at my words. "And why is that?"

"Well, I should have remembered that my scent is stronger after a shower … at least that's what Edward always used to tell me. It must be hard enough to control your natural urges around me without the extra boost." I said.

Jasper cradled my face in both of his hands, very gently running his thumps over my cheeks. His touch was more than just soothing.

"You do smell better after a shower." He stated clearly, like he was in total agreement with my assessment. But his facial expression didn't match his tone of voice. I didn't like what I saw. The frown was back. He looked sort of … disappointed? "I've told you before, that thirst hasn't been the reason for my change in behavior … not today anyway. Apparently I have to elaborate on my explanation in order for you to understand." He said. I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"It's true that thirst is one of the reasons, maybe the most likely and definitely the most dangerous one. But the way you've reacted was only natural, and I will never hold it against you … _ever_. Your safety is the most important thing to me … and if you feel threatened in any way don't hesitate to say something or retreat. You know how easily things can run out of control in my world." He spoke very calmly, but the significance behind his words cut deep. I realized I must have hurt him, by falsely assuming that he has been tempted by my blood, and therefore implying that he was weak. I could kick myself for even thinking anything along that line. Tears welt up in my eyes.

"Oh, no Bella, darlin', please don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong." He said quickly, leaning in, only to kiss away the tears that escaped, while caressing my backside in soothing circles. When he pulled back, he looked deep into my eyes again, almost like he was trying to reach my soul.

"Breathe, sweetheart." I hadn't noticed that I was holding my breath. I inhaled sharply, trying hard to calm myself down. Jasper kept up with his gentle ministrations, which was very helpful … but also a bit distracting to say the least.

"Like I said, I don't blame you for your behavior and you've made it very clear that you are feeling the same about me. So, let's just say that we both have made the wrong assumptions, but now we are even. We forgave each other and can move on from here. Okay? We only need some more time. I believe eventually we will be able to read and understand each other better." He gave me a pointed look.

I nodded in agreement, smiling through my tears. I used the backside of my hand to get rid of them. "You are amazing, do you know that? Thank you for being so understanding and patient with me."

"Says the woman who forgave me right away … for trying to eat her." He chuckled, before he leaned in again, this time to kiss my lips. I quickly reciprocated, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my hands in his hair. I tried to pull him closer, but sadly he broke our connection far sooner than necessary. True I did need to breathe, but I wasn't out of air … _yet_. I pouted.

Jasper laughed at my expression. "Sorry to frustrate you, my sweet darlin'. Believe me; it won't happen often … or ever again. But I have one more thing to say on the matter, to finally close the subject." I took in a deep breath, crossing my arms, settling in for his final words. His smirk was replaced by a more serious expression, wiping the defiant stare of my face.

"Okay, I'm listening." I said solemnly.

"Even though I cannot say that I am immune to the temptation of your blood, I know for certain that I am far more interested in something else. Don't get me wrong, you do smell mouthwatering, but I don't want your blood … at least not as much as I want _you_." He explained, looking pointedly at me.

I blushed at his declaration. "That's … that's good." I stuttered.

"I would say so." A flicker of a smile crossed his features, but it disappeared just as quickly. It was obvious that he wasn't finished yet. "But even though I don't feel the urge to sink my teeth into your soft, beautiful skin all the time, you need to remember what I am. A vampire, whose natural food source _is_ blood, don't you ever forget that."

"So no open wounds in your company if I value my life. Is that what you are trying to tell me?" I mocked. He rolled his eyes at my poor attempt to joke about such a serious matter, and chuckled darkly. I simply couldn't resist, especially when he sounded awfully close like his brother used to. Of course, I knew that being around vampires wasn't exactly trouble-free for a helpless human like me. I'd learned that the hard way. But I definitely wasn't looking for a replacement … one controlling boyfriend was enough.

"That would probably wise." Jasper muttered, before he dropped his gaze to his lap.

God, was he actually thinking that I would do something that foolish … _on purpose_? I wasn't a complete idiot. And I was definitely not suicidal. He should know me better by now. Or maybe he was still deeming himself as weak? Whatever the reason, I couldn't stand him acting like that.

I reached over, gently putting my hand on his cheek. He leaned into my touch, sighing. "Hmmm." I loved that sound, it almost sounded like a purr. He seemed utterly at peace whenever our skin touched, just like me.

"I know that you will never hurt me." I whispered softly. He locked his eyes with mine again. I hoped he could see the truth in them too. "You are doing so well … I don't know, how else I could explain it. But whenever you are with me … around me, it does seem to be … _natural_ for you, almost making me forget what you are. Almost. Of course, I will always remember your true nature, but nevertheless … I feel totally safe with you, Jasper."

It looked like he was going to say something, but instead he cupped my face very gently, almost reverently, and pulled me towards him. His lips only brushed over mine, soft as a whisper. This gesture said more than thousand words. _I am trying … and I am happy._ I smiled. _Small steps … give him time …_

Our faces were close enough that I could see the color of his eyes very clearly despite the dim light in my room. They were mostly golden, but I could see little black spots in them too. My curiosity was back again.

"So, what did you want to tell me earlier … about the reason for your black eyes?" I asked.

"Ah, yes. I've never gotten to finish this train of thought." He replied at once. A small smile played around the corners of his mouth. "Well, better late than never, right? Our eye color also tends to change when certain emotions run high. Anxiety, fear, hate, rage … _lust_." He didn't say anything else, just sparing me a pointed look.

"Lust … Hmmm." I mumbled incoherently. I didn't know what else to say. I clearly needed more time to come to terms with this piece of information. But for now, it would explain some things … Jasper's sudden change in attitude shortly after our reunion at the Cullen mansion and his equally sudden escape yesterday at my house.

_Well better lust than thirst … right?_

Edward has told me that vampires were ruled by their natural urges time and time again, but I couldn't remember him responding to my presence in the same way as Jasper … not even once, at least not that strongly. Well, I shouldn't be surprised; he has made it very clear five months ago in the woods that he didn't want me. So apparently there has never been a reason for Edward to behave in this way. The only thing he has ever wanted was my blood. I understood that now.

Sure, I was more than happy that Jasper wasn't ruled by his desire for my blood, but realizing that his other urges were _that_ strong … well let's just say as much as it pleased me to hear that I had a certain kind of effect on his body, it made me very nervous at the same time, probably only because I wasn't used to this kind of reaction in a man when it came to me.

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable again, but let's hope that will always be the only reason for my eyes to change color in your presence." He said, pulling my out of my reverie. I met his eyes, and couldn't help but laugh at the naughty look on his face.

"Come on, darlin', let's get you to bed." Jasper announced, already standing up with me still in his arms. I didn't protest. I saw no reason whatsoever why I should. A moment later I was lying on my bed and he was hovering over me. I pulled him down for another kiss, moaning when his tongue caressed my lower lip, begging for entrance. I eagerly complied. Too soon he pulled away from my mouth again.

"As much as I would like to continue this, and believe me I do, very much in fact." Jasper whispered into my ear, nibbling at my earlobe very gently with his teeth. "You have no idea who _hard_ you make it for me … dressed like this … smelling like you do …" To prove his point he pressed his lower body into mine, causing me to buck my hips in response. It was very easy to tell how _hard_ it was for him. A loud moan escaped my mouth. Jasper chuckled, before disentangling himself from my embrace. Why was he tormenting me like that, when it was obvious that he wanted me as much as I wanted him?

"But I think we have some other … equally important issues to talk about tonight." He pointed out, giving me a rueful smile. Seeing that, made it a little easier to forgive him for his constant teasing tonight. He moved us both into a sitting position, but keeping one of my hands trapped his. I didn't mind, quite the contrary. Touching him, even ever so slightly has become essential for me. "I promise I will make it up to you. How about I take you out for a real date?"

I smiled. "A date?" I liked the thought of that.

"Isn't that the normal way to do this? Dating, I mean? First taking the girl out to see a movie or something and then come back to her house to make out?" He tried to sound at a loss, but I knew that he was just playing with me.

I sniggered. "_Normal_? Yeah, right. Like there is anything normal about us." I scoffed, but smiled at the same time. "But sure, I would love to go out on a date with you, Jasper. A movie sounds good actually … it has been ages since I've been to the movies. And it will be better than taking me out for _dinner_." The double meaning behind my last words wasn't lost to both of us. And after the conversation we've just had and the understanding we've reached, we both were able to laugh about it without any fear of consequence. He kissed me once more, not as passionately as before but he put all his feelings of love and happiness into it which made the kiss that much more profound.

"Okay, that's settled then." He said, sounding all business all of the sudden. "Now, why don't you tell me more about your encounter with that Sam Uley guy?" Of course, I should have expected this kind of request, but I was still a little taken aback by the sudden change of subject.

I crossed my legs and straightened my back, this way settling in for a long and probably uncomfortable conversation. Jasper mirrored my posture across from me. We still kept skin contact through our entwined hands. I didn't know if he was doing it on purpose, but the gentle circles he was running with his thumps over the backside of my hands, were actually soothing my nerves. He looked at me expectantly, patiently waiting for me to begin my tale. I could tell that he was a little tense despite his calm façade. All the previous joy had left his eyes. They weren't exactly vacant but a little colder, guarded.

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**A/N Sorry, to leave you hanging there … again … well not really. Evil me! But the chapter was getting to long, so I had to split it. But don't worry the next chapter is almost finished, and it will be up in the next few days (not weeks this time). Promise!**

**Well was it worth the wait? As always I am eager to find out what you are thinking.**


	17. Mending old wounds

**A/N Like I'd promised, here the next installment. And so soon. How about that? I can be a good girl … on occasion. ;-)**

**Thanks as always for all the kind words for the last chapter. I truly appreciate them.**

**The last chapter was just the opening for a very long conversation. Buckle up my loyal readers, it's gonna be a long and bumpy ride!**

**Enjoy!!!**

**Song recommendation for this chapter: Eden-Hooverphonic, Gorecki-Lamb, Escape-Muse**

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Chapter 17 Mending old wounds

Jasper POV

I could tell that Bella was already a little worn out which was totally reasonable considering the ride on the emotional rollercoaster we've just taken. But to be honest, I felt a little drained myself. I've never felt anything like that before.

I was a vampire, for crying out loud. Vampires didn't get tired … ever. We didn't need to sleep, we could run for hours and never get tired … we could stand still without feeling any discomfort … and so on.

But this wasn't physical, it was emotional exhaustion. Maybe the fact that I was an empath had something to do with it. Of course I knew I would feel a lot worse if I had been exposed to the entire range of Bella's emotions. But as always these days she hid them from me, only allowing me access to them when it suited _her_ purpose.

I was torn between feeling gratitude for her sympathy, and feeling somewhat deprived, like she was keeping a significant part of herself from me. I honestly didn't like it. She'd said she trusted me, but by being reluctant to share everything with me … not only her words but also her feelings … she inadvertently annoyed me. I would have to find a way to convince her that she didn't need to keep her emotions from me. I knew I could handle it. I've dealt with a lot worse and survived, haven't I? But then again it seemed like that I had some trouble controlling and using my special power lately … especially in Bella's presence. So maybe, just maybe it was a wise decision on her part to shield me for now.

I watched her change her sitting position on the bed with interest. The cross-legged position didn't look comfortable to me, but what did I know. As a vampire I could stand for hours without moving an inch and I still would be fine. But nevertheless I copied her pose across from her, never letting go of her hands. I needed her touch, like she needed air to breath. And it helped me to focus.

Of course I rather would have continued kissing her senseless, maybe even go further if she would let me, but one glance at her alarm clock told me that there wasn't any time left to allow myself to get sidetracked. It was almost eleven by now, and I needed to share some information with her before she went to sleep. For the moment my need for information took priority over the earlier strong desire for her body. Maybe the soldier in me finally got the upper hand.

But anyhow, I'd meant what I'd said about taking her out on a date. I would keep that promise no matter what …

It was obvious that my request to tell me more about her encounter with the werewolf did upset her a little, but she was willing enough to answer my question.

"Well, I don't know where to start … probably at the beginning. Sam came over after I've just finished my dinner with Charlie. I was actually a little surprised at first to say the least. We aren't friends, far from it. Today was actually only the third time we've spoken with each other more than just a few words in passing. The last time he was here at my house …" Bella suddenly stopped midsentence, dropping her gaze. It seemed like she was unsure how or maybe whether to continue at all. I could sense her distress despite my lack of access, wondering about the reason why she'd paused. I gave her hands a gentle squeeze, encouraging her without words to go on. She took in a shaky breath. "He was the one who has rescued me the night Edward has left me." She said, avoiding my eyes for the first time tonight.

I felt like I've just gotten kicked in the gut … and hard. The protective and possessive part of me took over, because my mind registered one word in particular.

_Rescued_ … _What the hell does that mean? What did my so called brother do to my beautiful angel?_ In just a second my mind came up with a number of different scenarios, one worse than the other, not a difficult thing to do for a vampire like me, a vampire with my past experience.

I would have probably freaked out big time, if I couldn't see her sitting right across from me … healthy and breathing. I tried to take some comfort in that fact, but I had a very hard time keeping my emotions in check.

"What do you mean he _rescued_ you?" I growled.

She cringed slightly. For a moment there I thought it was just her response to my verbal reaction. I was pretty sure my eyes were black as well … due to my anger. Maybe I was scaring her despite my earlier promise not to do so. But then I became aware that she tried to wriggle her hands out of mine. I must have tightened my grip on her hands unconsciously, which meant that she was only responding to the pressure, the pain I'd inflicted.

_Great job, there. Now I am the one hurting her … only minutes after I've told her … promised her that I would never do anything like that …_ I berated myself, at once loosening my hold on her, but not letting go of her completely. I simply couldn't. I would have, if she'd ask me to though. But fortunate for me she didn't say anything. I pulled her hands to my lips, reverently kissing her reddened skin. At least this way I was able to determine that I didn't cause any damage. I could have easily broken her bones or worse.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, desperately seeking her forgiveness with my eyes … again … although I certainly didn't deserve it. I never did. She smiled at me benignly. _Always the forgiving angel … some things will never change …_

"It's okay, I am not mad with you." Bella said lovingly, freeing one of her hands at last, only to lay it on my cheek, gently caressing my skin. Her touch always had a calming almost healing kind of influence on my mood, stronger than I'd ever felt before. Not even Alice's touch had ever had that kind of effect on me in all those years we've spent together, and I knew that it had nothing to do with the differences in temperature and texture of their skin. Bella's skin was warmer than mine, naturally, but it wasn't burning hot like I remembered human skin to be in contrast to my ice-cold vampire skin. And she was softer, and undeniably weaker. I could see why Edward had kept his hands of her most of the time. He knew that one false move on his part could easily do damage to her fragile body. The mere thought of hurting Bella, emotionally or physically, made my entire body ache … mostly in despair and self-loathing.

Shouldn't the fact that she was my mate, my soul mate for crying all out, prevent me from harming her, even ever so slightly? Apparently not.

Should I be relieved that I'd been able to resist the urge to punch my fist through the wall behind Bella? Maybe. To tell the truth, it was really hard to resist doing anything along that line. But I knew it wouldn't be helpful to scare Bella more than I'd already done. And the noise probably would have woken up Charlie in the process.

Would the amount of practice in exercising and controlling my strength due to my past help me to exercise more caution in the future? Hopefully. Eventually. My natural instinct to express my feelings any way possible was strong, but thankfully my desire to keep her safe … _and_ alive … was stronger. The only thing I needed to accomplish this goal was to get a grip on my gift, and not allowing my emotions to rule my every response. Shouldn't be that difficult, right?

_Who am I fooling here? As a vampire I am an emotional being by nature … plus me being an empath makes the whole thing that much more of a challenge … a challenge of a life time …_

I knew until I'd have all my answers, my emotions were in total control of me, and my angel's touch wasn't enough to keep me at bay forever. Bella seemed to sense it too which wasn't a surprise, because my whole body was rigid.

"Please, Jasper, please I need you to stay calm, otherwise I won't be able to get through this. I promise you I will tell you everything." She pleaded with me, tears glistening in her eyes. I was close to deny her that request. Well not really denying, as much as fearing that I wouldn't be able to keep myself in check. I was already so angry … at me for hurting her, at Edward for whatever he did, and honestly at her for being so sympathetic, which surely didn't make a lot of sense to me. But if it meant that she would enlighten me about the events that had taken place that night, I would at least try.

"Alright." I conceded, taking in a deep breath. She chuckled in response, clearly sensing the struggle in my restraint.

"Okay. I guess I'd better start at the beginning … the night of my birthday party." Bella began, her voice shaking slightly. I cringed, but she ignored it. I had to give it to her. At the moment she was the stronger one of us, trying hard to stay in control of her emotions … for both of our sakes, I guessed. "After Emmett and Rosalie had dragged you outside, Carlisle tended to my wounds." She turned her right arm slightly, and showed me a small scar. I traced it with my right index finger. The image of Edward throwing her across the living room like a ragdoll was burned into my mind. I could empathize to some extent. He was only acting on reflex at the time … pushing her out of harm's way in order to safe her from me, but making her land right into the table with the cake and a lot of glass dishes._ What a stupid move on his part … he did more damage this way …_

"Carlisle was actually the only one who was able to keep a level head under the special circumstances." She continued. "Edward, Alice and even Esme … they all needed to leave the house for some time. See, that's when I knew that you weren't responsible for what happened. None of them, not even Carlisle, had been unaffected by my spilled blood." She shrugged at my grimace. Oddly, her nonchalant attitude seemed to help me concentrate on controlling my emotions, although I was pretty sure it was just an act on her part. I had to find out, how she was doing it. A human girl of barely eighteen years being stronger than almost two centuries old vampire was preposterous … or simply astounding. _Probably depending on the point of view …_

"Anyway. Edward took me home after that, and I guess I knew even then that something was off, but I dismissed my qualms at the time." She was talking very fast, like she was on a mission in getting it all of her chest as soon and as fast as humanly possible. "The next two days had been pure hell for me. Edward barely spoke with me, only answering when asked a direct question … and then only reluctantly. I know now that he'd lied to me about more than one thing.

"You know what? He actually had the audacity to tell me that you had left with Alice, and that she was helping you cope with your guilt issues. Fucking lying son of a bitch." I chuckled at her coarse language, wishing Edward would be here to witness this. She was mostly angry, but underneath it all … there was pain, a whole lot of pain. It felt like a recently healed wound being ripped open again. I didn't say anything instead I let her continue her story. The sooner she'd finish the better … for both of us.

"On the third day he asked me to come with him on a walk into the woods behind my house. And stupid as I was then, I was still hoping that we would finally have the opportunity to straighten things out between us." Bella stopped again, the pace of her breathing and her heartbeat telling me that she was on the verge to losing it. It was obvious to me that she was entering dangerous territory, emotionally. Since the first moment of our reunion yesterday in front of the Cullen mansion I'd been aware she was hiding something from me. I'd felt some of the pain then, but only now I realized the wound might run deeper than I'd thought. For the first time tonight I was going to embrace my special ability and put it to good use for a change. I only hoped that I was up for the challenge.

"Bella, I can see how hard this is for you … walking down this memory lane. But I know that's what you need … sharing all this with somebody … at last. Can I ask you a favor, though?" I requested cautiously.

She cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Sure you can. What?"

"Please allow me to feel what you are feeling." I demanded firmly but gently.

She gasped at my request. "Why … why would you want to do that? You would suffer right along with me."

"Exactly." I stressed.

She shook her head vehemently. "No."

"Please, Bella." I begged. "I need to do that … for _you_."

She stared at me for a minute, like she was actually considering my offer to help. At least I hoped that she would. "You aren't doing that to punish yourself, are you? Because if that's the case I won't …" She chided me. Her voice was layered with concern and devotion, warming my dead heard. She was always putting the wellbeing of others before her own. It was only one of the reasons why I loved her so much … her selflessness. It was a rare trait of character in a human or any other creature, especially in vampires. We were known to be very selfish, but I wanted to prove her wrong.

"No, that is not the reason for why I am asking you to drop your shield and share your feelings with me." I promised her. It was the truth. But as always she was very perceptive. It was evident that as of late I acted like a mayor sucker for punishment. Peter has scolded me about that kind of behavior on many occasions in the last five months. But he just didn't get it. I couldn't help it. Maybe a small part of me was seeking redemption this way. And I felt like I had to make up for what I've done that night. But even though, it still wasn't the main reason for my generous offer. I needed her to understand that, convincing her that this was necessary … for both of us to overcome the past.

"Bella, look at me." I demanded gently, and she complied at once, meeting my gaze with some caution. Although she was still blocking my gift, it was easy to tell from the look in her eyes, that this was hard for her … not only the consideration to take me up on my offer but to talk about the day my brother had left her. "You are right … to some extent. Although you've told me more than once that none of it has been my fault, and I am beginning to see the truth in it, you cannot deny that it _happened_. I know that you think I am offering my help only to punish myself, but you have to believe me that I want to do this solely for_ you_. I've felt your pain the other day. You've tried to hide it from me ever since, tried to bury it deep inside, but I can still see it in your eyes. And it pains me to see that.

"I think it is time to let it all out. Bella, you are the strongest person I've ever met, but keeping those kinds of things inside, in order to protect others from _your_ pain … well it is not healthy. Please let me help you. I think in sharing your emotions with me while reliving your worst nightmare I can actually help you to heal those wounds of yours. You've been willing to do the same thing for me yesterday, let me return the favor." I finally finished my speech, observing her reaction very closely. I projected my feelings of trust, honesty and love on her, hoping my attempt wasn't in vain due to her shielding. Her tentative smile was answer enough. A single tear ran down her cheek. I caught it quickly with my thump. "Please, Bella." I implored one more time. She drew in a shuddering breath and nodded.

"You've asked for it." She murmured so low, that I almost didn't catch it. And then without any further warning I was confronted with the entire variety of Bella's emotions. My whole body trembled under the onslaught, and if I had been standing at the time, the force would have knocked me down to the floor. She grimaced at my reaction, giving me an apologetic smile. I hoped my answering smile gave her some reassurance. But to be honest, it was very hard for me to keep myself upright, and not cry out in pain. How in the hell was she able to contain all this without crumbling?

_I can do this … I have to … for her …_ I chanted to myself, not totally sure I would be victorious in the end. The touch of her skin seemed to help … a little. I was tempted to replace her feelings of pain and loss with something better, but I knew I had to endure this in order to help her through her walk on memory lane.

"Where was I?" Bella said pensively.

"You went into the woods with Edward." I assisted her, bracing myself as best as I could for what would come next. I knew it wasn't going to be a nice bedtime story … most certainly far from it.

"Yes." She mumbled, taking another deep breath before she continued. I could read her emotions now, but she still tried to control them to some extent … in order to keep herself in check or to protect me, I didn't know nor did I really care. My mind was only on one thing, making it through this in one peace and of course to help her in the process.

"Like I've said … at the time I still thought we were just going for a walk and finally have a talk. But apparently I was blinded by my faith in our love, more precisely in _his_ love for me. As it turned out he just lured me out there to tell me that he was sick of me." She spat. I could feel her anger, but it was overshadowed by her strong feelings of rejection and unworthiness. I tried my best to contain the constant growl in my chest. I didn't want to wake up Charlie, considering I was busy enough already, and I didn't want to add something else on my platter.

I surely didn't like what I heard. Did Edward actually word it like that? Doubtful. Edward was a fool, but he wasn't vicious.

"The first thing Edward told me that he was leaving Forks." She answered my unvoiced question. "Can you believe it that I was foolish enough to believe that he planning on taking me with him? But he quickly managed to burst my bubble, making it very clear that he didn't want me in his life anymore, saying I didn't belong in your world … like I didn't know that already. I am just a fragile little human … a liability … the human memory is like a sieve. I wish." She fumed. By now the tears were running freely. Her words were a jumbled mess, but I got the gist of what had happened. "My memory works just fine. How could he believe I would be able to forget him? Or any of you for that matter?" She didn't say anything else for a few minutes, simply sitting across from me. I let her cry, but pretty soon I couldn't take it anymore. I began to replace her bad feelings with good ones. It took everything I got to accomplish this goal. She allowed my assistance which probably made it a little easier.

As much as it pained me to say it, I knew I had to. "You know that he'd lied to you, Bella?"

"What makes you say that?" She countered, staring at me in confusion. Her eyes were red and puffy from her crying, but I could sense that she was feeling a little better.

"I am an empath, remember?" I chuckled, earning me a small smile from her. The next words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "Edward did love you." She was just as shocked as I.

_What in the hell made me say that? Did I want to lose her? Drive her away? Did I think telling her that would make her feel better? Would that make me the good guy? Have I lost my mind?_ I berated myself.

I knew that I wasn't completely wrong with my assessment. True, as one of the two people who had been against his relationship with a human from the very beginning, I hadn't paid much attention to Edward's emotional state … at first. As a rule I've always tried to stay clear of the feelings of my former family members. With time it had become easier, since all of them have managed to control themselves around me to some extent.

But despite my aversion to the whole thing, it was very obvious how much Bella's appearance in his life has changed Edward. He definitely changed for the better. At least that has been the impression I've gotten from the distance. I hadn't given it much thought before today … for obvious reasons. Yes, Edward hasn't been brooding around the house twenty four seven like he'd used to, but he wasn't over the top delirious with joy like as I would have expected him to be. Underneath the surface always had been a lot of doubt and concern.

"Jasper, don't try to pacify me this way. It won't work. Even if you were right, apparently it wasn't enough though." Bella argued. "If he'd really loved me … he would have stayed, he would have found a way to work through this … with me … together. I would have gone to hell and back again, I would have done anything for him … but he took the easy way out. That's not love in my opinion. Yes, he might have had strong feelings for me, but I should have realized right away that they weren't strong enough. I'm convinced that he'd just wanted me around as a temporary distraction from his boring existence … but he certainly didn't want me for eternity." She stated, adding in a whisper, "Otherwise he would have granted me my wish of becoming one of you."

_Does she still want to become a vampire?_ I would grant her that wish without a second thought. She would make a magnificent vampire, of that I was sure. And it would solve a lot of problems. But I knew it would do me no good to mention this now, not until I had time to talk about this whole soul mate issue with her. And this conversation would have to wait … until I'd come to terms with it myself.

I watched Bella, as she disentangled herself out of our weird half embrace, reaching over to her nightstand to grab a tissue out of the box. She blew her nose, and wiped the tears away. Despite her outer appearance, she was definitely more at peace, somewhat relieved. Her emotions were still all there, but the intensity behind them has worn off. I took some comfort in that fact, allowing myself to relax a bit. Who would have thought that a little human girl would have the power to take down a vampire like me?

She grabbed her pillow, stuffing it behind her back, leaning casually against the headboard. She pulled at her comforter, indicating that she wanted to cover herself with it. I chuckled and quickly moved. Not a second later I leaned against the headboard at her side, the comforter covering us both. She sighed in contentment, resting her head against my shoulder. I put my arm around her, pulling her closer.

"Thank you, Jasper. For listening … and helping me through this with your power." She said, and I was drowning in waves of gratitude and love. In response I placed a kiss on her head. "I guess you were right; I needed to get this of my chest. Sure I've talked to my mom about it, and that helped a little bit … enough to pull myself out of the void I've been trapped in for two months. But still … having to tell half truths the whole time … it is hard. I feel like a huge burden has been left of my shoulders. Thanks." She looked up at me, smiling.

I kissed her lips, only once. "Anything for you, my darlin'."

"You've said the exact same thing to me at the hotel in Phoenix." She said, sounding wistful.

I smiled. "I remember. And I'd meant it then as much as I do now. I will do anything for you, Isabella."

"I love you, Jasper."

For a split second I was stunned by her verbal declaration of her love for me, before I crashed my lips forcefully on hers. I pushed everything in this kiss … love, pain, loss, lust, adoration, and hope. I was drowning in a sea of emotions … mine and hers, realizing I was losing control of my gift again. Instead of fighting it, I embraced this strange sensation. I felt like floating. I was on fucking cloud number nine. There was nothing else but her and me.

When we finally broke apart we both were gasping for air, although she was the only one of us who actually needed it. I rested my forehead against hers. "I love you, too." I breathed.

"I know." She replied, pulling me in for another kiss. This one was gentler, but not less passionate. She was the one breaking the contact first this time. She smirked at me. "Wasn't there something more important you wanted to do?"

I chuckled at her innuendo. "I guess we've gotten a little of topic there."

She giggled, resting her head back at my shoulder. "I guess we have. You wanted to know what Sam has told me, right? Well not much actually. I guess he just came here to have his suspicion confirmed. But I can't figure out what he was doing here in the first place."

I would have asked myself the same question, if it weren't for the little piece of information I hadn't been able to share with her yet. "I believe they have been keeping an eye you for quite some time." I stated. She stared at me in confusion. "I did pick up a weird smell around your property yesterday. I didn't know what it meant then … but I do know now." I turned my face to look her straight in the eyes. She frowned at me. "Please Bella, don't freak out. But the reason why I've left your house prematurely this afternoon, was a surprise visit by someone unexpected." Bella's heartbeat picked up pace, and I quickly kept going with my explanation, before she could really freak out. "It was Laurent."

Relief was the first emotion I was assaulted with. _Odd_. Curiosity and a tad of fear were the next. _More reasonable._ "Peter and Char had picked up his scent around the house, and called me immediately. By the time I got there he was long gone."

"Why would he come here?" Bella asked.

"Unfortunately I have no idea." I replied, running my hands through my hair. I wasn't used to feeling helpless. It was unbelievably annoying. "But I am going to find out. I promise. With me and Peter and Char you're more than safe."

"And don't forget the wolves …" She joked.

"Hmpf. Lucky us …" I snorted. "I am curious though. How did you find out about their second nature? Did he just tell you?" I doubted that, since they were depending on keeping their secret from the humans as much as our kind, but I wouldn't really be surprised at this point if he'd just told her.

"No, I've figured that one out all be myself. I am a smart girl, you know." She announced proudly, quickly filling me in, how she'd drawn her conclusions from the bits and pieces of information she'd received all those months ago from her friend Jake. It didn't surprise me. Curiosity was one of her main character traits, and along with her natural perception, she was a force to be reckoned with. I wasn't sure if it always worked into her favor though.

"That you are. So what else did he tell you?"

"Not much. I think he actually didn't have much information to go on. Apparently he shares the same ability as you … picking up your scent, I mean. He gave me a warning though … the usual I guess … vampires are dangerous … blablabla." She waved her hand dismissively. I chuckled in response, knowing fairly well that Sam's assessment wasn't so farfetched.

"I guess, I won't be going down to La Push as often as I used to …" She mused. Suddenly I was confronted with a pang of sorrow.

"That might be better anyway." I commented. It came out harsher than I'd meant to, even though it was the truth.

She frowned in response. "Oh, is that what you're thinking? I should leave my friends behind now that I know what they are … I am not like that." She spared me a reproachful look.

I knew exactly where this was coming from. "Bella, don't be like that. I will never tell you what to do. But you have to see that it won't be easy for me … I love you … and when you are at the reservation I can't be with you … in case something happens …"

"I know, I know." She interrupted me, caressing my cheek with her warm, soft hand. "You're only concerned for my safety when I am around a werewolf, right? This much I could ascertain from your reaction over the phone. While I can understand your concern, I am pretty sure that Sam would never hurt me on purpose, just like you. We might not be close friends, but I am a human and therefore he will never harm me in any way." She stated in full conviction.

I shook my head in exasperation. She didn't get where I was coming from. I exhaled. "Bella. You might not like to hear this, or even understand it. But despite their reason for being … protecting human kind from the big bad vampire … they aren't as harmless as you might think. Even though I hadn't had the chance to meet any of them myself, I do know enough about their kind. They act on instinct alone, especially when they are young, inexperienced. I am a little surprised to tell the truth, that Sam has been able keep himself in check at all. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that he did.

"But in associating yourself with my kind it could be that he and his friends will see you as one of us now … especially if you keep hanging out with Peter and Char. They will definitely not like that." I said, smirking.

"I haven't told Sam about them." Bella assured me quickly.

"Yeah, I assumed as much." I said, kissing her temple once. "But anyhow … I need to ask you a favor. Please, keep your distance from them … at least for the time being. I want to talk to someone who has actually had some experience with them."

"Carlisle?" She guessed.

"No, Rosalie." I said, pulling her letter out of my back pocket. I handed Bella the wrinkled sheets of paper. "I've wanted you to read this earlier today, but I hadn't had the chance to give it to you." Bella smiled, and unfolded the letter. I sat beside her, caressing her arm with my fingertips, smiling at her shiver of pleasure. I waited patiently for her to finish reading. Her emotions went haywire for a second there, and I heard her catch her breath.

"You should call her." She said, handing me back the letter. "Not only for information, though. It is obvious that she's worried about you." Her voice was layer with admiration and confusion. The last wasn't a surprise, since she and my sister hadn't had the chance to get to know each other very well.

"I was planning to." I announced, pointing at her nightstand where the cell phone was lying, along with the charger. I've placed both items there shortly after my arrival, but hadn't had the chance to plug the phone in. Bella moved before I could. I watched her with a grin on my face, as she connected the charger first with the phone and then with socket.

"There you go." She said, joining me on the bed again. "Now you can call her while I am sleeping."

I shook my head, pulling her in a tight embrace. "Thanks."

"No problem, baby." She said. Suddenly she laughed. "So does that mean that Peter and Charlotte are on house arrest for the time being?"

I chuckled in response. I had no idea Bella had such a weird sense of humor. I liked it. "Not exactly, but close. I only _suggested_ that it would be better for all of us if they stay at the house for tonight at least, and since they aren't hunting in this area, they should be safe in general. Well, not that they are in real danger to begin with. But I don't want to draw any attention to us, or start a war. I think with Rose's help we can figure out how to go from here, a way to make this work … especially if we plan on staying here longer. And maybe she can help us out with the other problem … _Laurent_." I growled the last part.

"The way you talk … it sounds like strategizing to me." Bella observed. "Have you been in the army?"

I was stunned again by her way to draw conclusions, although by now it shouldn't be that surprising anymore. "I have." I confirmed.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "How old are you, Jasper?"

"Twenty." I answered automatically. It wasn't a lie though, but it was only my physical age.

She rolled her eyes at me in obvious annoyance. "You know what I mean. My guess is that you are at least as old as Edward, probably older." She speculated, daring me with a significant look … to challenge me? _Feisty … I like it._

I could sense her determination. I should have known right away that I wouldn't get away that easily. She was clearly on a mission here, and my single-word answers weren't satisfying her curiosity, if anything they only intensified her resolve to make me come clean, share some details about my past life.

I deliberated my options for a second. I could tell her that it was too late already, and that she should go to sleep. But she's just opened up to me, figuratively and literally. Maybe it was time to repay the favor. And with the gates open between us … both ways … it would be difficult to lie to her about anything, because she would sense it. But even if I wasn't projecting my own feelings at the moment, I wouldn't want to lie to her. I wanted her to know everything about me, like I wanted to know everything about her. I knew it was time to step up, to stop being a coward.

_Maybe this is the night to share our deepest and darkest secrets … no turning back now …_

I pulled her into my lap, carefully keeping the comforter around her shoulders. I needed her as comfortable and close as possible. Her touch was the only thing that kept me grounded. Bella gently stroked my face with both of her tiny hands. It was kind of eerie how much she was in tune with my mood swings. I kissed her once, very softly, before I pulled back.

"Edward hasn't told you anything about me, has he?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

She shook her head. "No, he said that it wasn't his place to tell me the background stories of any of you guys without your permission." She said, once sounding very fond of my brother. As much as it pained me to admit, I shared this feeling with her.

Thanks to his special gift Edward had more insight into the minds of anyone around him … with the little exception of Bella of course. And he was right. It wasn't his place to fill her in on anything, it was mine. But then again I was pretty sure the main reason why he'd neglected to tell her anything about my past, was the fact that he'd thought he was protecting her. Well, he hasn't been completely wrong about that. True I wanted nothing more to prove him wrong, but after sharing some of my past with Alice and remembering her reaction, I was scared that Bella would react just the same. I could still taste the repulsion and disappointment on my tongue. I hadn't resented Alice for her reaction, but deep down I'd expected more from my … _former_ … mate.

I wanted to believe that Bella was different, I really did … but momentarily my fear of another negative response was stronger than my faith in what we had.

_No one in your life is with you constantly … no one is completely on your side … stop whining, Major, you are embarrassing yourself … to love means to take risks, right?_

"Okay, Bella. I will tell you my story. But like I've told you before, it is not a nice story. I've done things, horrific, unspeakable things … and I promise I will not hold it against you, if you decide to never see or speak to me after." I said, sounding really pathetic. What was wrong with me?

"Jasper." She scolded me. "Nothing you'll tell me will change how I feel about you. If I can forgive Edward's little era of youth rebellion, I'll certainly grant you the same."

I snorted. "What Edward has done, pales in comparison with my experience."

Bella was clearly taken aback by my sudden harsh tone of voice. I felt like a total idiot. I knew that she only wanted to encourage me, and what was I doing? Fuck it up, as usual. I reached over tentatively, tugging a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. "I am sorry, darlin'. I didn't mean to upset you. You will understand soon why he's kept this from you, and for good reason." I explained, taking in another deep, unnecessary breath. _Here goes nothing …_

"I was born in 1844 in Houston, Texas." I began, smirking at the concentrated look on Bella's face. I knew that she was doing the math in her mind. "I don't remember much about my childhood or my family. You probably know that we all seem to suffer from almost full-blown amnesia after the change. Maybe it is better this way. If you forget almost everything about your former _human_ life then at least there is nothing you want to go back to, right?" I mused. I believed that even though it did hurt not remembering we all were rather relieved. Losing the knowledge of what used to be made the transition a little easier. It would have been unhealthy to hold onto things and people who were of limits.

"Anyway … you were right about your earlier speculation. I joined the Confederate Army in 1861, when I was almost seventeen years old. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it … and my empathic ability … although still latent at the time … was working into my favor." I smirked at her reaction. I told her in quick succession what I'd remembered about my short but successful life in the Confederate Army. She listened with interest, clearly engrossed in that part of my story. I wouldn't be surprised if she would ask my help on a future history paper on the Civil War. "Like I'd said, the details are a little fuzzy, but since I've died as a soldier, I guess that I'd kept those memories with me for a reason." There was more meaning behind those words, than Bella could realize at the moment. She was quiet, a little too quiet for my taste. Apparently, she was sensing that the next words out of my mouth, wouldn't be as nice … quite the contrary.

"I can remember every detail of my last night as a human." I said, concentrating hard on Bella's steady breathing. I was sure that would change soon. But it helped me to get started. "I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union's mortar boats reached the harbor …" I almost raced through the rest of my story, hoping that the faster I'd finish the less painless it would be. Of course I spared her the finer details. She didn't need to hear about me raping young girls, before draining them … even though I'd only done it on Maria's orders. In my opinion it didn't make a difference whatsoever. I was a monster, plain and simple.

The silence between us was awkward. Not really surprising but kind of eerie.

_The calm before the storm …_

Bella's emotions were all over the place, as were mine, which made it difficult for me to find out, how she was feeling about all this. I knew it was much to process at once. I kept my eyes downcast, afraid of seeing the rejection and disgust in her beautiful brown eyes. But it didn't escape my notice that she was crying, though.

_Well at least she isn't screaming at you to get the fuck out …_

Out of the blue she threw her arms around me, pulling me closer. She sobbed into my shoulder, mumbling something like 'I'm so sorry you had to go through all this.' and 'I am so proud of you.' For a second there I thought my ears were playing a trick on me.

But then she was covering every inch of my exposed skin she could find with frantic, sloppy kisses, almost like she was trying to make sure that I was okay. Was this girl for real? I just told her that I'd killed thousands of humans for no good reason … apart from creating a vampire army for a crazy bitch of course … and here she was, comforting me.

All gates were open, and I was drowning once again in love. I couldn't believe my luck. I started kissing her back, tasting her tears for the first time. We ended up holding each other as tightly as possible, both sobbing for a couple of minutes. What a hell of a long night?

I sighed into her hair in utter relief and total contentment. I was amazed by this girl to say the least. Her capacity to love unconditionally … especially someone like me … was simply beyond me. I'd always thought Carlisle was the most compassionate person, but this human girl in my arms could give him a run for his money. I knew it would be hard, if not impossible, but I would try to be a better person … for her … someone worthy of her love.

Yes, I already felt the need to protect her, in the sense that she was my mate and I didn't want her taken from me … but now, it suddenly felt different. I was going to protect and care for this girl because she deserved it and so much more. She was precious and wonderful and would comfort a vampire after he'd accidentally broken her. She was simply astounding.

Bella finally pulled away, wiping the remaining tears from her face. I swiftly grabbed another tissue from her nightstand, handing it to her with a tentative smile on my face, which she reciprocated.

"Thanks." She hiccupped.

"No, thank _you_." I said, showering her with all the gratitude and love I felt for her. I chuckled, when she swayed under the force, but quickly regained composure.

"I guess we are even now." She said, shrugging her shoulders. She moved on her back, clearly exhausted now and ready to sleep. It was after midnight now. I moved to lie next to her, and she snuggled into my chest.

"You want some assistance there, darlin'?" I offered.

"Yes, thank you." She whispered. "I love you, Jasper."

"I love you, too." I kissed her forehead once, before I put the whammy on her. "Sleep well and sweet dreams. I'll be there in the morning."

A moment later she was out cold, snoring slightly. I settled in for an hour of holding her, before I was going to make good on my promise … in making a very important phone call to my sister.

* * *

**A/N So, now all the cards are on the table. What do you think about Jasper's and Bella's reactions? Reasonable? Or not?**

**You know I like your input, so don't be shy and leave me a message. Thanks!!!**

**Until next time, take care.**


	18. Family

**A/N A huge thank you to all of you who've reviewed my last chapter, a/o put my story on alert.**

**Before we get to the phone call between Rosalie and Jasper, I think it is time to find out what happened to the rest of the Cullens after they've left Forks … via Rose's memory.**

**Enjoy!!!**

* * *

Chapter 17 Family

Rose POV

I didn't know what day of the week it was today. Without being tied to a regular schedule like going to school or university or God forbid a job, had that effect on me … and probably on any other vampire as well. And here in the deep woods of Canada, far away from any human population, without having any connection to the outside world through television or newspaper, the concept of time seemed to vanish completely, one day simply blended into another. Sure time had another meaning for a vampire than for a human, considering we had an eternity ahead of us instead of the average seventy or eighty years.

Under normal circumstances I tried not think about this at all … the obvious differences between my kind and the humans. It still pained me that I'd lost my chance of having a normal human life and all the good things that came with it … a marriage, a family, a _true_ future. The humans all took it for granted … but things have turned out quite differently for me.

"Oh, come on Rose." Emmett wailed. I was quite used to him acting like a five-year-old, especially when he wanted something … badly.

"Em, I told you I'm not thirsty. Please, just leave me be for a while." I sighed in exasperation.

"Alright, babe. As you wish." My mate conceded, finally giving up on swaying me to come with him. For the last five minutes he's been trying to convince me to go hunting with him. But I wasn't hungry nor in the mood to go hunting just for the fun of it. I knew he meant well, that he was trying to cheer me up, but it wasn't working. Emmett kissed my cheek, whispering 'I love you' in my ear and then he was gone, out through the door, leaving me sitting alone on the couch in our little cottage.

This place was ours. Mine and Emmett's. It was totally different from the other places we owned. Small, only two rooms, plus a bathroom. The only luxury was a hot tub, of which we usually made good use whenever we spent time here. Sure it was well known that I normally preferred more comfort than that, but that made this little place in the middle of nowhere that much more special. We've bought this property and the surrounding land a little over forty years ago, shortly after our second marriage, spending two months celebrating our honeymoon in this place.

Being on my own was becoming my favorite pastime … away from everybody, alone to deal with my thoughts and qualms. Of course I felt bad, letting Emmett down and paying him not as much attention as I used to. We didn't fight, but didn't talk much either. Surely, my feelings haven't changed towards my mate, I still loved him with every fiber of my being, and I knew that he felt the same about me. He was my only reward in this life, my second … my _only_ chance of true love. But still, something was very wrong, and I knew that he could feel that too.

Ever since we'd left Forks I've been in a shitty mood to put it lightly, unable to control my outbursts on many occasions. Yes, I've tried very hard not to take it out on Emmett, but unfortunately I haven't always been successful. But he has endured my fits of temper with his endless amount of patience and love, which made me feel even worse.

We both thought time and distance from the other family members would do us some good, which was why we'd decided to take some time off, relocating to one of our hideout places. I hoped the time alone would help us to find some peace and reconcile but I realized now … after more than two months have passed already … that it didn't make any difference whatsoever.

Something vital was missing and I knew exactly what it was: the family bond we've shared with the others for all those many years. Having lost that did not only hurt me, of that I was positive. I could see how much Emmett suffered from the loss, and his pain combined with my own was almost too much for me to bear. Sure, like every other family we had our little disagreements, but somehow we'd become sort of dependent on each other, on the stability and support our family seemed to provide for all of us. It might sound comical that strong and almost indestructible creatures like vampires had a need for something like that, but especially for me having a family played a vital component to endure this existence as a vampire at all.

We Cullens were an exception among our own kind in more ways than one. Our choice to sustain on animal instead of human blood was probably the most obvious, but living together in such a large group, coexisting peacefully in a almost human like family dynamic, was quite unusual for vampires … apart from the Volturi perhaps, though they were anything but a family in the original sense.

The term coven didn't apply to us. I always thought that we were describing ourselves as a family because that's what we were. None of us wanted this life - this existence in the first place. And in creating _this_ life for ourselves we held on to the small piece of humanity.

Of course there had been times in the past when we'd lived apart from each other, especially Emmett and I needed some alone time from rest of the family once in a while, but we've always returned … and with joy.

But this time was different. It didn't feel like a temporary vacation but more like a permanent change. And those kinds of changes didn't come very often for vampires. In fact any kind of change was usual instantaneous and permanent, this much I knew by now. And that's what frightened me the most. I was afraid that no matter how much time would pass that there was nothing we could do to repair the damage we've created … we've _all_ created.

The events on Bella's birthday party had been only the trigger. I knew now that there had been something looming at the horizon long before that day. And we all had played our part in the following mess. I didn't want to point fingers. I wasn't that callous or petty, even though I might come off like that on occasion … to people who didn't know me. True, in the beginning I only blamed the human girl for this whole mess. If she hadn't entranced my brother with her blood and with the enigma of her silent mind, none of this would have happened. But then again if Edward had just stayed away after he'd run off the first time …

_Arghhh_ … I groaned, not very ladylike.

There were a lot what ifs, but it was useless to ponder over this. What was done couldn't be undone by simple wishful thinking. Blaming Bella for accidentally cutting herself or blaming Jasper for reacting the way he did wasn't going to change anything. The difficult but final decision that had been made afterwards by Edward, Alice, Carlisle and Esme was one out of desperation, I understood that. We all have made mistakes, and we've paid for it greatly.

As a family … we were broken. And I didn't know if we would be able to recover from something like that.

I snuggled deeper into the couch, closing my eyes, wishing that I was able to cry. I let my mind wander back to the day we'd left Forks …

* * *

Emmet and I drove together in his Jeep. I was still pissed that I had to leave my BMW behind, in storage of course, even though I knew that I wouldn't be able to drive it up in Denali anyway.

"Don't worry, babe, we find you another nice vehicle to work on." He tried to appease me, patting my knee lovingly.

"It will not be the same." I complained, scowling out of the side window. "Why did _we_ have to leave …?"

"I know." My mate sighed. "I didn't want to go either." The pain was palpable in his voice. It wasn't so much the place he was going to miss, but a certain person he had to leave behind without the chance to say goodbye.

I turned my head, facing him. "Then why in the hell did you agree with them?" I demanded to know.

"Like it would have made a difference if I hadn't ..." He defended himself. I didn't fight exactly either, just accepted the decision. I knew Emmett was right; our vote wouldn't have tipped the scale. _Four against two._

Carlisle and Esme were in the car ahead of us. Alice and Edward would be following us after … whatever. The way those two had been acting lately made me sick to my stomach. How was it possibly to leave your supposed mate behind … high and dry? They were almost acting like nothing was wrong. But I guessed that they were both just hiding their true feelings. At least that was what I wanted to believe.

_God, I miss Jasper. Where the hell is my brother? Not a beep, no life signals … anything …_ I really started to get worried.

"I'm sure he is fine." Emmett tried to reassure me for the umpteenth time. He seemed to be more in tune with my thoughts lately.

"I hope so." I sighed.

The rest of the journey we spent in silence, awkward not comfortable silence. Thankfully, with no need for a real break except for refilling the tank, we made it to Denali in record time.

We stopped at our new/old residence first to unload our bags, but then we made our way straight to the house of our cousins. It was probably a good idea. The atmosphere was tense at best. We all needed the company of others to unwind. Or at least to try to unwind.

Tanya, Irina and Kate were there, and so was Laurent. His presence did startle us for a second, bringing up bad memories, but his orange-colored eyes told us that he has been indeed trying out our lifestyle. It seemed that he was indeed serious about becoming a true member of this coven. Carmen and Eleazar were hunting at the moment of our arrival, but they were back in a couple of hours later …

Two days later our family was complete again … well more or less. Alice and Edward had arrived the day before, both in shitty mood. I didn't need my brother's ability to sense that everyone was pretty much miserable. I tried to stay away from them, barely spoke a word with any of the family members.

Our life in Denali was starting to suck, big time. I've never really liked it here anyway. I didn't know exactly why, but I guessed that with the more of us in one place, the territorial instincts in me took over. Sure Tanya and her coven were something like extended family to us, considering that they shared the same lifestyle and all that. But still … they were just so different. They were a coven, not a family.

Apart from Eleazar and Carmen, they were all single. And on top of that they were succubi, Tanya, Irina and Kate. But I always thought Tanya was the worst of the three. Her sexual appetite was borderline disgusting. A weird thing to acknowledge for someone like me, but even Emmett agreed with me on that matter, and we were known to be very sexual beings.

The way she tried to get it on with Edward every time we came to visit, was kind of entertaining, but mostly it was pitiable. In the past I used to get hysterical fits of laughter whenever Edward tried to let her down easy, always trying to be a gentleman about it. But with time it was getting predictable, so boring.

And now, under those very difficult circumstances I came very close to slap that bitch in the face for her insolence. Tanya had no shame at all, knowing very well that he was in pain. Even though Edward wasn't my favorite person at the moment … or ever … I still was very protective when it came to my family. She wasn't only hurting him be dismissing his feelings, but the rest of us as well. Thankfully, Kate stepped up to her sister, and demanded that she should stay away from my brother from now on.

"You've gotten your chance, and he made it very clear that he isn't interested in you. So do us all a favor, and let it the fuck go." Kate snapped. Tanya looked like her sister had actually slapped her, turning on the spot and vanished into the woods. She didn't come back for a couple of hours, but apparently heeding Kate's advice and stayed away from our house from that day on.

And Laurent's presence wasn't making things easier, quite the contrary. Edward stayed away from him from the very beginning. In fact Edward spent most of his time alone, shutting himself into his room, listening to music and was brooding, brooding, brooding. Alice mostly did the same.

Only once I tried to talk to her about Jasper again. I just came back from a hunting trip with Kate and Carmen that day. I enjoyed spending time with those two, because they were not trying to get me to talk about what was going on with the family. They were simply there, ready to listen but not prying.

I knocked on Alice's door. "Come in, Rosalie." She invited me, sounding not very happy for my intrusion. When I walked into her room she was sitting in her closet, going through a new fashion catalogue.

_What the fuck is wrong with that woman? Her husband is missing and she is ordering new clothes …_ I wanted to rip the catalogue right out of her hands, and tear it to shreds, but I decided against it. I wanted to talk to her, not piss her off.

"What do you want?" She asked, not having the courtesy to look up.

I chuckled in response, leaning casually against the door of her closet. "Shouldn't you know that already?"

Finally she looked up, glaring at me. The line 'If looks could kill …' came to mind. "I don't have time for your theatrics, Rosalie." She sneered.

"Are you serious, Alice? You don't have time … please don't give me that shit. We are vampires for crying out loud. We got all the time in the world." I yelled. She wanted to reply something, but I was quicker. "Where is Jasper?" I was asking for further information this time, and I was convinced she knew that.

Alice stared at me with her eyes open wide in shock. Was she for real? She didn't see that exact question coming? But she recovered quickly, diverting her eyes back to the catalogue still in her hands. "I have no idea." She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders. Her voice lacked any emotions. I believed her words at once. She really had no idea where Jasper was. But that wasn't what set me off. She just didn't seem to be bothered by his absence … at all.

"What's wrong with you, Alice? Have you even tried to contact him?" I shouted again. I had a hard time not letting my anger to take total control of me. I wanted to smash something, or hit something … or someone. I didn't care which one.

Lately I had trouble coping with certain emotions, especially my rage. The urge to resort to physical violence was stronger than usual. I was convinced that Jasper had always kept my urges under wrap with his gift. _Just one more reason to have him back …_

"He hasn't taken his phone …" She tried to defend herself.

"Oh, come on. Is this the best you can do? It's a lame excuse, and you know that." I fumed. "I know that Jasper doesn't have his phone on him. I was there when he took off, remember. But there are a whole lot of other ways to try to contact him. Have you even tried? Do you even care?"

A second later she was in my face. "Shut up, just shut up. This has nothing to do with you, Rosalie. This is between Jasper and me. So just do me a favor, and leave me alone." I've never seen Alice act this way, and for a moment I was flabbergasted.

Before I could say something or react in any other way like slamming her into the wall behind her for example and beat the shit out of her, the door busted open and I was pulled away from her. Emmett's strong arms encircled my waist, holding me in place. Edward was doing the same to Alice.

"How could you just abandon him like that? He is your mate." I accused her, shaking in anger.

"No he's not." She snapped, shocking all of us. She clapped her hand over her mouth, like she had said too much. I didn't know what to say, only knowing that she was telling the truth. How long has she known this?

"Come on, babe. Let's get out of here." Emmett whispered soothingly into my ear, already leading me towards the door. Alice freed herself from Edward's grip, retreating back into her closet. She spared all of us a last hurtful look and then locked herself into the closet.

"She doesn't know where he is." Edward said evenly. "She has tried but she couldn't see anything."

With that final statement he left us, probably returning to his own room. We followed him out into the hall. Emmett closed the door to Alice's room quietly behind us. "Thank God, Carlisle and Esme are not here." He stage whispered. I had to agree with him there.

Carlisle and Esme were trying their best to keep the family together, but it wasn't working. It was only a matter of time before we'd split.

It wasn't really a surprise that the first one to leave the family was Edward. His mood hasn't improved at all, if anything it even got worse with each passing day. It was unbearable for all of us to witness it, the way he was punishing himself, although he barely made an effort to spend time with anyone of us.

Edward made his flight only a month after he'd arrived in Denali. Alice wanted to go after him right away, but Carlisle and Esme convinced her that she should leave him alone, to give him some time. They probably thought he might come back after a couple of days. Two weeks later she took off to find him.

We haven't heard a peep from neither one of them for quite a while. I could hear Esme dry-sobbing every day, mourning the loss of her children. Carlisle tried to distract himself by teaching at a local community college.

A month after Alice's departure I couldn't take it any longer. Fortunately, it was easy for me to convince Emmett to take a break with me … from all this family drama. He didn't show it very openly, but even my mate had a hard time dealing with the constant tension and worry. It felt like walking on eggshells being around the remaining members of our family.

* * *

Here we were now. Two months have passed and nothing much has changed. Emmett continued to call Esme once a week, to get and give an update on things. But mostly he did it because he wanted to appease her and Carlisle. Alice has called them once, too, only to let them know that she and Edward were still alive and kicking, but she didn't reveal any information about their current whereabouts or their future plans.

_For my part, they both could just go to hell and stay there …_

I still couldn't wrap my head around the last thing Alice had said to me. 'No he's not.'

And it has been the last time we've talked to each other, or yelled at each other to be more accurate. I've been avoiding her ever since that day right until the day of her departure. Her actions kind of made sense after hearing her proclaim that Jasper wasn't her mate. Edward's words gave me some comfort, and I hadn't doubted his sincerity. According to him she has been using her gift at least once to look for him, but apparently she hasn't felt the need to do more. Even if he wasn't her true mate, he was still a part of the family as far as I was concerned. But it seemed like that I was the only one who thought so.

I finally left my seat from the couch, and walked over to the table. I picked up my laptop and turned it on. We might not have a working television around this place … much to Emmett's disappointment … but at least we got a working internet connection.

I checked my e-mails for the second time today. Still nothing. I didn't want to give up hope, but I was starting to get more pissed. I doubted that Jasper has actually gotten himself into any serious trouble. Due to his past experience he knew how to take care of himself. And if he really was with Peter and Charlotte, I would have no reason to worry.

But the silence was unbearable. Didn't he know that I was worried? Did he not care … like Alice? Was that it?

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket.

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**A/N Well, what do think? Does this chapter answer some of your questions, or not?**

**And as always I would appreciate your input on this chapter.**

**Until next time … take care!**


	19. Phone Call

**A/N I was a little worried at first, but apparently the last chapter wasn't as bad as I'd thought. Thanks for all the comments, and I'm quite surprised that my story is still attracting some new readers. Welcome and I hope you'll stay.**

**I know there are still a lot of unanswered questions about Alice and Edward. But I couldn't give you all the answers, yet. What would be the fun in that? ;-) And Rose was a little too wrapped up in her own anger to pay closer attention, to notice more. But rest assured all secrets will be revealed in due time.**

**Now … back to Jasper and Rose, and their reunion via phone. It's a short chapter, but hopefully a good one.**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 19 Phone Call

Jasper POV

Watching Bella sleep was nice, feeling her warm and soft body wrapped around mine was even better. Well, actually that was an understatement. It was amazing, incredible … so far incomparable. The only thing better than this, would be the feeling of her bare skin against mine. That would be pure bliss.

_Soon, very soon …_ I reminded myself. My second in command twitched slightly in anticipation. Resisting the temptation wasn't one of his … eh my strong suits. He was used to get what he wanted … without any delay … as was I. Holding back those strong urges to claim my mate was going to be a new challenge for both of us. But remembering Bella's passion from earlier this evening and her disappointment when I'd stopped our little make-out session, I knew I wouldn't have to wait too long. She was just as eager as I was, despite of her innocence. I smiled into her hair.

I still couldn't believe how lucky I was.

Just a few days ago I had been scared to go back to the one place I'd never wanted to return to. Now I was glad that I'd listened to my brother. If I'd waited a couple months longer, Bella would have finished her high school and probably would have left Forks to God knows where, and I would have missed my one and only chance of finding true happiness.

Since I didn't believe in coincidences, I wondered if Peter had known something beforehand. But then again his reactions towards Bella had been nothing but natural, his surprise just as genuine as mine. He was a good actor, but he wasn't that good to fool me completely. Anyway, it didn't matter. The end result was just the same. I was here, and I was happy.

I have been an emotional wreck for a long time, a mere shadow of my former self. True, no one wanted 'the Mayor' back, especially not me. I was glad that 'he' was caged deep inside of me, partly thanks to the change of sustenance due to the life with the Cullens, but mostly because I'd felt the need to bury that part of my past in order to survive. But since he has been in control for almost hundred years, he was still a big part of my vampire personality, latent but still there. I knew it wouldn't take much to unleash the beast from its confinement. I hoped that it would never come to that. Bella had gotten a glimpse of him the other day, when I'd pushed Peter into the wall. I really didn't want her to witness a full outbreak. Especially not after tonight.

Bella had listened to my story, only the abridged version but still … and she had shown nothing but sympathy. Sure she had been shocked about some of the details I'd shared with her, but this was only natural. But still, I hadn't expected her to take it that well. It showed once again how strong she really was, exceptionally strong for a human.

Alice had never shown that kind of strength or sympathy. She hadn't gotten to hear everything either, although I would have been willing to give her the full disclosure, if she had shown actual interest … like the sleeping angel in my arms. The reason why I'd spared Bella the most horrific details was that she was too good, too innocent, too pure. She didn't need to hear about me killing countless girls her age just for the fun of it.

But Alice on the other hand was a vampire. She was already part of my world, she knew what our kind was capable of, even though she'd never seen or experienced anything like the horror I have. But whenever the topic came up, Alice used her usual excuse 'Live in the now, baby!'. But the truth was that she'd tried to avoid anything connected to that particular subject. I always guessed that was part of the reason why she didn't get along with Peter and Charlotte, and why she'd barely accompanied me whenever I'd visited them in the past. What has she been afraid of? That we were going to revel in old memories … not likely.

She'd barely taken a look at my scars, always insisting I'd left on a shirt while we were being intimate. I had never resented her for acting that way. I knew I looked hideous. That was why I always wore long-sleeved shirts and long trousers, to cover up my body. Thankfully I didn't have any scars on my face. That would have been hard to cover up, without looking stupid.

In the past I'd never really thought about it, Alice's subtle hints that she was sort of disgusted by me. I'd just gone along with her leadership in our relationship. She'd wanted me to bury that part, my past, and I'd agreed with her, pretending that it wasn't part of who I was. But it was. Bella was right. My past experiences had shaped the person I was now, the good and the bad ones.

My angel was in deep slumber land, thanks to the extra help of my gift. I've kept her up for far too long, and she needed her rest. From what she'd told me, finding sleep hasn't been easy for her after Edward's dumping act. _Fool!_ How could he leave her? Tell her that she wasn't worth it? He's gotten it all wrong. _She_ was too good for _him_, not the other way around. She was too good for me, too. She was such a pure soul. I knew that I didn't deserve her, but I would try to show her everyday that I was going to try. I wanted to change, becoming a man worthy of her.

As soon as she was out cold, Bella's emotions were closed to me again. It was quite a relief, but still a little weird. I just wasn't used to being blocked by anyone so completely. But maybe I should learn to appreciate the peace that came with it. Whenever I could feel Bella, the strength of her emotions was simply overwhelming, almost too powerful for me to handle, especially the bad ones.

She was like two sides of a coin, incredibly strong and exceptionally sensitive.

Bella's head was positioned on my chest again, just like the night before. I still couldn't fathom that this was a comfortable position for her. But then again, why argue? I loved it. Her tiny hands were gripping my shirt, in a futile attempt to keep me right there with her, like I had any desire to leave this place. I held her tight, but not too tight, caressing her back in soothing circles, barely using any pressure. I didn't want to wake her. She was so deep asleep that she didn't stir at all. She didn't talk either. I sighed into her hair, breathing in her mouthwatering scent. She smelt strongly of her strawberry shampoo, herself and me. I closed my eyes, enjoying the peace and quiet.

A soft beeping sound from my cell phone broke me out of my trance-like state, informing me that my cell phone was fully charged. It was now two in the morning, not that the time really mattered to a vampire. Of course Rose would be up.

_Maybe she is busy with something more important … no stalling now … Make the call already, you coward … _

I knew I needed to get this over with sooner rather than later. In truth, I wasn't looking forward to the task of calling my sister. Though I hoped she would be glad to hear from me, at the same time I was certain that she would be pissed as hell that I hadn't tried to contact her sooner. And a pissed-off Rose was rather scary. Good thing that we weren't going to do this in person.

I really didn't want to leave Bella's side, with her touch having the power to ground me and all that. But knowing that this call would probably become a little louder than usual between me and my sister, I decided it would be best to leave the room. Bella's grip on my shirt hasn't loosened one bit, like she was unconsciously anticipating my next move. Of course, I could have easily freed myself from her grip, but I knew such an act would have woken her in the process, and I really didn't want to take the chance. Instead I wriggled awkwardly out of my shirt, leaving it behind after making my way of her bed. Bella sighed for the first time, pulling my shirt closer to her face, inhaling its scent, my scent. I placed her second pillow into her arms, smiling when she wrapped her arms around the replacement for my body. I leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her temple.

"I'll be right back, darlin'." I whispered so low, knowing she wasn't able to hear it, but feeling the need to reassure her anyway.

I picked up the cell phone from her nightstand and turned it on, making my way downstairs into Bella's living room. I sat down on the couch, leaving the light out. I didn't need it. I felt a little uncomfortable without my shirt on, not because of the cold but … well because I felt exposed. I barely ever wore a sleeveless shirt, because I was very self-conscious about my scars. I knew that they were more prominent to a vampire eye, but they were still visibly to a human eye.

Gladly no one was here to see me sitting half naked in the dark in the house of my _girlfriend_ … and with her father sleeping upstairs in the other room, oblivious of my presence. I chuckled. The terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' weren't even coming close to what we were to each other. But pretending to be a human probably included using vague human terms like that.

The security pin was written down on the back label of the cell. I quickly discovered that there was only one number saved in the directory. Taking one final deep breath to brace myself for whatever was awaiting me, I leaned back into the cushions and then I finally dialed.

After the fourth ring, a very familiar, female voice answered.

"Jasper, is that really you?" Rosalie's voice broke at the end. Even with the physical distance I was able to tell that she was more than glad about my call. She sounded very relieved in fact. To say that I was shocked by her reaction was an understatement. True I had expected or rather hoped that she would be happy to hear from me, but hearing the unadulterated desperation in her voice, made me wonder. Something was must have happened after I've left.

"Who else?" I replied jokingly, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Not a good idea, as it turned out.

"Don't you fucking dare to make fun of me, Jasper! Have you any idea what I've … what we've been through since the day you'd vanished? And it took you what … five months … _five_ _months_ to pick up a phone to call, and let me know that you are alright. I should rip your arms off and beat you with them until you realize what you've done. Hell, you deserve even worse than that." She shouted at me, and I knew that she'd meant every word. I understood her reaction, I really did. But I wasn't in the mood for another fight this night. I was still exhausted – emotionally – from my talk with Bella.

"Hold you horses, Rose!" I stopped her ranting, trying to keep the level of my voice down despite the rising level of my own annoyance, because she had a right to be upset with me, but more so because I didn't want to alert the two sleeping humans upstairs. "First off, I didn't call to have a fighting match over the phone with you, and second I've just returned to Forks. Just yesterday to be precise. So there hadn't been a chance to call you before today …"

"That's a lame excuse, and you know it. What about an email, or even a fucking letter?" She interrupted me harshly. "Don't tell me, that you lost your ability to type a few lines … right along with your sense of responsibility towards your family. How could you do that to me? To all of us …" She was breathing hard at this point.

I longed to take her into my arms, and to comfort her. But since that wasn't possible at the moment, I hoped my words would have a similar effect on her. "I know, Rose. I fucked up. I shouldn't have left you hanging, worrying about me. But I wasn't ready before today. I needed some time to come to terms with what happened … I'm so sorry that I've hurt you. It wasn't my intention."

I heard Rose sigh on the other end. "Well at least we've gotten it all off our chest … for now." She allowed, chuckling. I knew I wasn't off the hook just yet, but for the moment she seemed to be appeased enough to let it go. "So, how are you?"

"I am good." I said. It was an understatement, of course. I was ecstatic, blissfully happy. But I knew now was not the time to tell my sister about my newfound happiness with the sleeping angel upstairs. "And you?" I asked in return.

"I'm fine." She answered, not sounding very convincing. It was easy to tell that she wasn't _fine_, far from it. Glad to hear from me, but definitely not fine. Something was up. I knew Rosalie pretty well, and it was easy to tell when she was hiding something from me. She never has been one to talk about feelings and stuff much at great length, but I've always been the one she confided in whenever she'd felt the need. Well, that was in the past.

"Are you still up in Denali?" I was fishing for information at this point.

"No, Emmett and I have left Alaska a couple of weeks ago. We are currently in honeymoon suite two." She said, using the nickname for their little cottage up in Canada. "And you are still in Forks." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes. I am here with Peter and Char. Looks like we will be staying here a little time longer, packing up my stuff and tying up loose ends." I said.

"Tying up loose ends?" She pressed, sounding confused.

I chuckled under my breath. "Yeah … well, I might have lost my temper a little … when I'd discovered … hmmm … your absence … and I need to repair a few things I'd damaged in the process." I explained inadequately. It wasn't a complete lie though. I still planned to fix the damage on the wall. Before she could ask for any more details I quickly changed the subject. "How is the rest of the family doing?"

She snorted at my poor attempt to make small talk. "How do you think?" She sighed heavily. "Not good." She didn't need to elaborate. Those two words said enough. Of course I didn't expect another answer. In fact I was sort of glad as bad as it might sound that they all had a tough time. It would have been devastating to hear that they were all happy, now that I was gone.

_But maybe it doesn't have anything to do with you … _I reminded was a hard thing to consider, but it would explain why neither one of the others had tried to find me. I hardly needed Rose's verbal confirmation, not after the letter she'd left behind. Alice had never intended to get in touch with me. I had left my phone behind. It would have been an easy thing for her to get in touch with me through Peter. And she never did. And what was even worse, she'd apparently done everything to keep Rose and me apart as well. But why?

"Jasper." Rose called my name for the second time, finally pulling me out of my reverie. "What's wrong?"

"I just realized what a total bitch my wife is." I growled.

Rose sniggered. "Well, it took you long enough." I growled again at her taunting. "Sorry, Jasper, I didn't mean to upset you further … I'm sorry. I know it must hurt. But she's not worth it. the way she'd behaved lately … You deserve so much better."

"You sound just like Charlotte." I observed._ Or Bella .Or Peter._

"Well, apparently I see eye to eye with her on more than one subject." She laughed. I was glad that she seemed to be more relaxed now, but I was a little miffed because she was sort of scolding me. I decided to let it go, for now.

"Who are you talking to?" I heard Emmett's voice inquiring loud and clearly, like he was just standing beside me.

"Jasper." Rose answered shortly, teasing him by sounding nonchalant.

"You're kidding?" Emmett sounded surprised but very excited at the same time. "Give me that phone."

Rose was never happy to be told what to do. I listened with a grin on my face to their short, but very familiar banter. But Emmett apparently was very persistent in his request, so she finally caved, and handed me over to my brother.

"Hey, bro. Where the fuck have you been hiding?" Emmett asked in the same tone that Rose had used before. Annoyance and hurt were evident in his tone of voice. Although he wasn't one to hold a grudge against anybody for a long time, I knew that it would take me some time to reconcile with him. He was a very sensitive person underneath all those muscles.

"I was staying with Peter and Charlotte in Arizona." I answered.

"Was? Where are you now?" He pressed.

"Forks." I said at the same time as Rose. I could hear the smile in her voice.

There was a short silence after that. "Mmmh. How long do you plan on staying there?" It was obvious that he had ulterior motives to ask me that.

"For a few more days …" I said, smiling. _At least._ I added in my mind. I already suspected what his next words would be.

"Good. Rose and I will be there to meet you by tomorrow morning … the latest. You better be there, or else." He threatened. I laughed in response, earning me a growl from both of them.

I quickly went to appease them. "Okay, chill guys. I promise I'll be here." As long as Bella was here, I would stay.

They both huffed in irritation. "Okay, I'll hold you to it. Until tomorrow then." Emmett said, adding in a softer voice, "I'm glad you are alright, bro. I've missed you." Then he hung up.

I was a little stunned at first by the sudden termination of the connection. But then again, everything important has been said, and we would have the opportunity to talk more the next day. I laughed quietly. I was relieved. The conversation went better than I'd expected. I knew they both were still angry with me to some extent, but on the whole they seemed to be more relieved and happy than actually angry. The only thing I was starting to get worried about was the one very important change in my life, I've kept from them. Bella.

I knew it was for the best that I'd kept this detail from them. It would be better to explain everything in person, having the advantage of using my gift if necessary, and having Peter and Charlotte there to act as a buffer. Sure, deep down, I was hoping for their approval, that they would be happy for the both of us. But knowing that Rose never really liked having Bella around in the first place, and considering the consequences of her involvement with Edward … well, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't support our relationship, at least not in the beginning.

I could live with that, if I had to. There was nothing that could change my mind about Bella. She and I belonged together. End of story. Rose would be able to see that. And I knew that Emmett wouldn't be thrilled about the news either, as overly protective as he was of his little sister, but I hoped that that his joy of seeing her again would work into my favor.

_There will be enough time to ponder over these things later …_ I told myself, making my way back upstairs.

I returned to Bella's room. I could see that she hasn't moved an inch, lying there half on her stomach, half on her side, still clutching the pillow tightly too her chest. She still had my shirt in a death grip, too. She was a picture of beauty. I joined her, spooning her from behind this time. I stayed in that position until I could hear her father's alarm clock go off.

According to his set of emotions, he must have slept really well. He was cheerful. For a moment I wondered if he'd suffered as much as Bella. _Probably._ I didn't know if he would check up on Bella or not, but I didn't want to take any risk of being caught in his daughter's bed. Shirtless to boot. I swiftly moved, hiding in her closet. I felt like an idiot, or a normal human teen. Everything in here smelled of fresh powder and Bella.

I knew that Charlie hasn't been very fond of Edward, especially after the whole incident with James. Would he treat me the same, just because I was Edward's brother? I hoped that I could convince him otherwise. Knowing that I could be very charming, I doubted that I would fail in my attempt to prove my worth. But I didn't want to use any of my vampiric abilities. I wanted to earn his trust the honest way, just like I'd done with Bella.

_It's the only way … Time will tell …_

After taking a short shower, I could hear Charlie making his way downstairs. I returned to Bella's side, listening to her father rummaging down in the kitchen. Half an hour later he finally left the house. It was now five thirty. I knew that Bella would have to get up in an hour.

_Enough time to go downstairs into the kitchen and make her a nice breakfast._

I went downstairs without making any sound. I quickly checked the contents of the fridge. How hard could it be to make some scrambled eggs or pancakes and brew some coffee?

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**A/N Well, what do you know, a little family reunion is on its way. Curious how Rosalie and Emmett will react to Bella's presence and not to mention her blooming relationship with Jasper?**


	20. It was just a dream, right?

**A/N We've breached the 500 barrier. Well how about that? It's awesome, guys. THANKS! A THOUSAND THANKS!**

**Without any delay, here is the next installment.**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 20 It was just a dream, right?

Bella POV

The first few weeks after Edward had left me in the woods, I'd experienced the same dream over and over again, causing me to wake up screaming at the top of my lungs, scaring my dad half to death every time. But I haven't had this dream for quite some time now. With time the intervals had become larger … and I had been able to deal with the aftermath a little better.

_I know right away that I am dreaming … oddly I always seem to know when I do. I don't know how this is possible, but I just know, even though everything else isn't quite as clear and obvious._

_The scenery is completely different this time … this much I can tell at once. No green, endless woods, me chasing after someone … someone very familiar and important to me … I am not able to catch up to, my feet simply not able to move fast enough … than suddenly it feels like I am rooted in place almost like I am treading quicksand, the more I push the harder it becomes to move forward at all … I hate it._

_This time … for the first time I am in the desert. I am wearing a reddish-purple, sleeveless sundress, made of some beautiful, silky fabric. I feel light and happy … simply enjoying the warmth of the sun, as it caresses my bare, pale skin. There is nothing but sand and cacti as far as my eye can see. I like it here. It reminds me of Arizona. It feels like home …_

_Suddenly, I feel a hand in mine, almost as warm as mine but not quite. However, I'm not startled because it feels very familiar, and definitely comforting. I look up and see the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, piercing into mine._

"_Jasper." I breathe out in relief. I beam up at him, enjoying the feeling of genuine happiness and unadulterated love washing over me. I know this is all his doing._

"_Hello, my darlin'." My own personal vampire greets me with a huge smile on his face. I can see the love he feels for me in those pretty eyes of his. Then he leans down, kissing me softly on my lips. "You look lovely in that dress." He complements me. "I love you, Isabella."_

"_I love you too, Jas." I reply, trying to catch my breath. It doesn't seem to matter how he kisses me, or how softly his touch is. Jasper is always able to take my breath away … merely with his presence._

_We silently walk through the desert, holding each other's hand tightly, for quite a while. Or at least it feels like that. Time really does work differently in a dream than in reality. I watch the effects the sun has on Jasper's skin with interest. He sparkles in the bright light. Of course, he does. It isn't a surprise, since he isn't the first vampire I have seen in the sunlight. The scars on his skin are more visible now … even to a human eye … but still … he is beautiful, just perfect in my eyes, not damaged or ugly like he thinks. I smile._

_Then all of the sudden Jasper vanishes from sight and I am alone in the desert. At least I think I am alone. My hand aches from the loss of his touch. I feel empty and lost, afraid even. I turn around … and around … desperately searching for my one true love. But all I can see is sand … nothing but sand and cacti, and the occasional withered tree. The sun goes down quickly, and then it is dark. The place doesn't seem to have the same effect on me now. The scenery hasn't changed much, but the atmosphere. A shiver runs down my spine. Not from cold, but from the unknown. Where is Jasper? Why did he leave?_

_I begin to run. I always run in my stupid dreams. And trying to run doesn't do me any good; it never does, not in my dreams or in real life. I stumble quite a few times, but I don't fall. Panic begins to rise in me._

"_Where do you think you're going, love?" An ominous voice startles me. I recognize that voice immediately. I stop in my tracks and turn around._

_There he is, as beautiful as the day he'd left. Edward._

"_I am looking for Jasper. Have you seen him?" I ask, a little out of breath from the running._

_He smiles at me … his trademark crooked smile that used to have a certain effect on me once upon the time. But it doesn't make my heart beat faster anymore. Sure he is still beautiful, but he doesn't even have a tenth of charm on my Jasper._

"_Why are looking for him?" He requests. His voice is musical like I remember, but he doesn't sound like the Edward I'd used to know. I ignore the nagging feeling in my chest for the moment, because all I want to know is where Jasper is._

_Edward takes a deliberate step forward, and for the first time I can see him completely. My eyes go straight to his. I gasp in shock. They aren't golden, but blood red._

"_Edward, what happened to you?" I exclaim in horror. Of course, deep down I know what this change means. He must have been back to feeding on humans. But why?_

"_What are you talking about?" He counters smoothly, although I am pretty sure he knows exactly what I am referring to. He just smiles, taking another step closer. I want to reach out for him, but quickly think better of it._

"_Your eyes …" I whisper._

"_Oh, that. Well, I am a vampire after all, and that's what we do." He answers my question, in a nonchalant kind of way, like it is nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to worry about. But it is, at least for me. Why would he go back to feed on humans after all this time? After all that he'd told me about his constant struggle for hanging on to his humanity, his remorse for taking all those lives in his rebellious era all those years ago … I don't understand this change._

_I may not be in love with Edward anymore, but I still care about him to some extent. "Let me help you." I offer at once._

_He just laughs at me. I shudder, because his laugh sounds an awful lot like the sound James had made right before he'd tried to kill me._

_Edward's demeanor entirely changes. He glares at me, his face contorts in rage. "I don't need your help. Even if I did, I wouldn't take anything from a slut like you." He spits in my face. I visibly flinch. I've never heard Edward use that kind of language with me. I feel sick to my stomach, and I am actually very afraid of my former love. What is wrong with him? And where is Jasper? Why isn't he here to protect me? He promised._

_In a futile attempt to get away from him I step back, but Edward reaches out, grabbing my upper arm, pulling me closer to him. "Did you actually think I wouldn't find out?" He scoffs, looming over me._

'_Stay calm, stay cool, this is Edward, he will not hurt me.' I chant to myself, still hoping._

"_I leave you, and you hook up with my brother? And you think you are safe with him. How foolish of you, you stupid little girl!" He sneers. His face is so close to mine, I can smell his sweet, familiar scent. I want to vomit. "You are nothing but a blood bag to us!"_

"_Edward, please stop it! You are scaring me." I plead, tears running down my face. His grip is tight, very tight. And it starts to hurt pretty bad but I don't want him to know how much, and thereby giving him the satisfaction that he is getting to me, so I don't say anything, but suffer in silence. I still believe in my heart that Jasper will come. And I will bravely endure anything until then._

"_Like I care, you worthless bitch." He snorts. His words cut me more than the physical pain ever could. "And he doesn't either. Otherwise he would be here, wouldn't he? To protect you from the big bad vampire." He taunts me further, clearly enjoying the anguish that is unmistakably visible on my face._

"_Jasper loves me and I love him." I state with full conviction. There is no doubt in my mind about the truth behind my words._

_Edward seems to sense that, and he obviously doesn't like my answer. He growls maliciously. "You are mine!" And then he forcefully grabs me by my hair, tilting my head to the side, thus exposing my neck. Before I can say or do anything, he sinks his teeth into my throat … _

* * *

I woke up with a start, desperately trying to catch my breath. My entire body trembled from the drama I've just experienced … in my dream.

_A dream, it was just a dream …_

I sat up, and in a sort of reflex reaction I immediately checked my neck for any sign of injury. My hand was still trembling. And of course there wasn't anything to find. This whole episode had been just a dream after all, like I'd already known while I was still sleeping. But it had felt so real and it had made a real impact on my nerves … apparently … more than any dream before.

_Did I scream again? _I couldn't remember.

Before I was able to gather all my thoughts, the door to my room burst open and I found myself encircled by a set of strong arms.

"Shhh. It's alright, I'm right here." Jasper cooed into my ear, after he'd pulled me into his lap. Hearing his soft, soothing voice broke through my wall of angst, and I collapsed into Jasper's embrace, more than willingly. I felt exhausted, but utterly safe … and loved. Jasper was drowning me in waves of calm.

"I'm okay." I sobbed into his chest. I hadn't even noticed before that my cheeks were wet from tears. I must have cried for real, not only in my dream. "It was just a bad dream." I tightened my hold on him, not ready to let him go just yet. He didn't seem to mind, quite the contrary, he was continuing to murmur reassuring words into my hair, stroking my back in soothing circles. I couldn't make out the actual words, but in truth it didn't matter what he said. His presence was enough.

At last my breathing evened out. I was feeling so comfortable, and sort of distracted by Jasper's gentle ministrations, that I hadn't noticed until then that Jasper's back wasn't covered by any clothe. For the first time I was touching his bare skin. Well, except for his face and neck, I hadn't had the chance to feel the texture of his skin. I was excited to finally be able to feel him, to discover him.

My fingertips ghosted over the foreign terrain, like they were having a mind of their own. It wasn't smooth like marble, like I'd first expected it to be. I knew I shouldn't be surprised though to ascertain the unevenness on his skin, his scars_. _I easily recalled parts of the talk we had last night, him mentioning something about his training newborn vampires, and how they had been quite difficult to control. He hadn't told me much in detail, but since I've already known … thanks to Edward … that vampire teeth and their venom were the only thing able to leave behind such marks it was clear that Jasper had received many injuries during his time with his sire.

But to tell the truth I hadn't expected that he'd suffered quite _that_ much. As far as I could determine without actually seeing them with my own eyes, Jasper's entire backside seemed to be covered with scars. He must have been bitten countless times. My heart went out for him again.

I could clearly remember the unimaginable pain I'd had to endure when James had bitten me. I shuddered at that memory. And that has only been one single bite. To experience this kind of pain over and over again … well I couldn't imagine how anybody … even a vampire … could survive this suffering, without any kind of repercussion on body _and_ mind.

I wasn't disgusted, far from it, because in my opinion this was just further proof for Jasper's strength. He'd managed to survive living in hell. Every scar of his was a testament to that. He should be proud of himself. But I knew he didn't, couldn't see it that way, because of the atrocities he'd committed. _His words, not mine._

Suddenly I realized that Jasper had stopped everything he'd been doing. No more muttering, no caressing of my backside. In fact he'd stiffened in my arms, like he was preparing himself for whatever reaction he thought I might have. I was sure my emotions were easy for him to read, but I couldn't be sure. I didn't even know how I was able to block his gift in the first place. Maybe just the mere wish to keep them to myself was doing the trick. Who knew? But anyway, I felt nothing but love and admiration for him, along with a certain amount of curiosity and not to mention some desire. The opportunity to touch his bare skin at last … was pure bliss. The familiar tingly feeling went right from my fingertips through the rest of my body, setting it on fire.

However, I feared that he was uncomfortable by the fact that I was exploring his body without his verbal consent. But he didn't pull away, which I was more than glad about. Instead I could make out a low growl that seemed to originate from the depth of his chest. It actually vibrated through his entire body. First I was a little mystified, not sure what to make of it. I've never heard a person … human or vampire … make that kind of sound.

He was purring. Like a cat.

"Jasper, are you purring?" I giggled.

"No, I'm not." He mumbled, nuzzling my neck.

"Yes, you are." I insisted, laughing, trying to free myself from his tight hold.

Jasper chuckled into my shoulder, placing a quick kiss on the same spot before he finally let go of me. He only allowed enough space between us, still keeping his hands on my hips, so that he could look into my eyes. "Does it bother you?" He asked in earnest.

I smiled at him. "No, I like it. You sound like a cat." I said, still giggling slightly. "Like a big cat." I amended quickly, when I saw the frown on his face.

Not a second later I found myself flat on my back trapped underneath the weight of his body, my hands pinned down by his. I'd barely felt him moving at all. Damn vampire speed. I still wasn't used to it.

_I probably never will be, until …_ I stopped the thought right in its tracks. This clearly wasn't the time or the place for that kind of contemplation.

"So, you think I sound like a big cat." Jasper growled in a playful way. I didn't try to fight him off, just lying there underneath him, not moving but staring into his eyes, which were still golden for the most part. I could see a little bit of black in them too. But it was pretty obvious that he was amused not the least bit offended. And he was just as excited as I was, in the sexual sense. Even if his eyes weren't prove enough, a certain part of his autonomy, currently pocking into my upper thigh, was definitely all the evidence I needed. I couldn't help but moan. Jasper leaned in, kissing me passionately, thus swallowing the sound.

He didn't hold back. He never did. I liked it. More than liked it, actually, I appreciated it, because he made me feel cherished and wanted for a change. He didn't treat me like a fragile human, more like an equal.

Jasper let go off my arms, but pressing his body closer to mine, carefully though. Of course, he couldn't let me feel his whole weight in order to avoid hurting me in the process. I wrapped my arms and legs around his well-built frame, clinging to him. I wanted, no needed, to feel him closer. I pressed my pelvis into his lower region. He growled again, louder this time, grinding his erection into my center. I felt myself getting wetter. When I was out of breath, he started kissing down my neck, across my collarbone.

"Oh, Jasper …" I moaned, burying my hands into his hair. I tugged, trying to pull him back to my mouth. He didn't comply, though, continuing to taste me. His hands were traveling over every inch of bare skin he could find. I was on fire, and I didn't want him to stop … ever.

I wanted him. Right now.

"I'm sorry, darlin'. I want you, too." He groaned into my skin. I hadn't realized that I'd voiced my desire for him out loud. Jasper nipped my skin along my neck, until reached my ear. All the frenzy was gone. "But I'm afraid, we can't. There isn't enough time for all the things I want to do to you." Then he pulled back, disentangling himself gently. He kissed my pouting lips once more, before he sat up. I was still trying to catch my breath, to calm myself. He was such a tease. But somewhere deep inside my mind I knew he was right. I didn't want to rush this either. _Damn hormones_ …

I still lay on my back, blinking twice, before I fixed my eyes on my vampire again. That's when I saw what had escaped me before.

"Why in the heck are you wearing my apron?" I asked without actually expecting an answer, because it was pretty obvious. It was stained what God only knew what.

He looked down at himself. "Oh, that … I hope you don't mind borrowing it … well considering you held my shirt hostage, I had no other choice." He chuckled, looking around us. He reached behind himself, retrieving his shirt. It was wrinkled, very much so. I blushed when I realized that I was responsible for its condition. But he wasn't angry with me, just winking at me, before he quickly changed his outfit.

_Too bad …_ I sighed. I loved him in this half-naked state, even though my apron kinda looked silly on him.

"You was making you breakfast." He announced, confirming my suspicion. Was that pride I heard in his voice?

"Really? That's so sweet of you." I replied, allowing him to pull me off the bed. I quickly rearrange my top. He smiled down at me, looking slightly embarrassed.

_What the hell is that about?_

"How about you take a shower and get dressed, and then come down." Jasper offered. It was an obvious excuse. Was he actually thinking that I wouldn't see right through him?

Smiling at him, I said, "But I don't want to wait. I'm hungry now." I swiftly pushed past him, making my way downstairs. He didn't try to stop me, but I could hear his desperate groan. This reaction made me even more curious.

When I entered the kitchen, I got all my answers. No wonder he wanted me to take a shower first. There was a thin layer of flour covering most of the surface, a broken egg in the mist … simply put it looked like a bomb went off in here. Even my Dad hadn't been able to create this kind of mess in this kitchen whenever he was in here. Jasper should have said that he was _trying_ to make me breakfast.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, clapping a hand over my mouth.

I sensed Jasper moving behind me. "I'm sorry! I wanted to surprise you. But cooking is a lot harder than I'd thought it would be." He hung his head in defeat. At this moment he looked so forlorn. A lesser person would have cheered to discover that a strong fearless creature could fail at such a petty task as making breakfast. But wasn't that small-minded. It wasn't really a surprise to me that he hadn't succeeded. Why should a vampire possess cooking skills? They didn't need it. Suddenly I wondered why Peter possessed such a skill. His scrambled eggs were to die for (no pun intended).

I pulled Jasper into a comforting hug. "It's the thought that counts." I said, kissing his lips once. He smiled sheepishly. "I think I'll take you up on that offer now. I'll take a quick shower and get dressed, while you clean up this mess. I think I'll stick with the usual cereal for breakfast and a cup of coffee." I said, winking.

"You do that." He replied with a huff, letting me go.

I went upstairs with a smile on my face. The mortified look on Jasper's face was hilarious, but cute. It was making him look like … like a human.

I took a quick shower, even washing my hair again. It was much easier to disentangle the knots in it, when it was wet. After drying my hair I went back into my room. I put on some plain underwear, but then I stood in front of my closet for some minutes, deliberating what I should wear.

This was a first. I usually didn't give much thought about what I was wearing, because I didn't really care. As long it was comfortable it was good enough for me. Shopping for clothes was one of my least favorite pastimes. So, that explained the lack of choice when it came to dressing up a bit. I wasn't even sure why I even thought about at all, but somehow today I was in the mood to change things up a bit. I finally picked one of the only two skirts I owned. It ended mid-thigh, and it was black. Pretty simple, nothing special. I added a t-shirt and a sweater, and a pair of knee socks and my outfit for the day was set. I left my hair open. After that I packed my bag for school, which didn't take long. I quickly made my bed, smiling when I remembered that I hadn't spent the night alone.

And then I finally made my way back downstairs. When I came down the kitchen, it was as clean as nothing had ever happened. Not a spot left. Not that I'd expected anything less what with the vampire speed and all, but I was still a little amazed. Jasper stood with his back to me, washing the last of the dishes in the sink. I went over, wrapping my arms around his waist. He shuddered delicately, sighing in contentment.

I walked over to the table, taking a seat. Jasper had placed a bowl, a spoon, the box of cereal and the milk, right next to a steaming cup of coffee. There was also a plate with fresh fruit, cut into mouth-sized pieces. "Thanks … for cleaning up and making me breakfast." I said. "Why don't you join me? Well … keep me company, while I eat. You know what I mean."

"You're welcome. It's the least I can do. Give me a sec; I'll be right with you." Jasper said, and then pulled the plug, releasing the water. He dried his hands with the dish towel, and then took the empty seat on my right. He leaned back, watching me fixing my breakfast.

"So what are you going to do today, while I'm at school?" I asked, adding milk to my cereal.

"Well, I have some business in Seattle. I think Charlotte will accompany me on that trip. She wants to return her rental car. I don't know how long it will take, but I hope I'll be back by the time school ends." Jasper answered. He kept his eyes fixed on my mouth, making me a little uncomfortable. He seemed to sense that and diverted his eyes to the table.

"Bella, can you do me a favor?" He asked cautiously._ Oh, oh … what now?_

"Sure." I conceded.

Jasper fixed his eyes on mine again. He looked serious. "I don't want to sound condescending. I won't tell you what to do … not like my brother." He muttered the last part, but I heard it. I smiled to myself. But then his look turned pleading. "But please, take care of yourself today. Don't go into the woods on your own. Not until we've figured out this whole thing with the wolves and Laurent. I called Rose last night. She and Emmett are on their way …" He stopped midsentence, taking in my reaction to this news.

"Oh, they are coming here … well that's good, isn't it?" I commented, sounding rather pathetic. I wasn't really sure how I felt about it.

"Yes, I think it is." He replied, cocking his eyebrow. "Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? They are your family. I'm sure they've missed you just as much as you've missed them. I'm glad that they are coming." I answered honestly.

"But …" Jasper pressed. _Damn, he knows me well …_

I chuckled. "Well, I don't know. Did you tell them about us?" I was kind of afraid of his answer. What if they didn't like it?

Jasper moved too quickly for me to actually see him moving, pulling me into his lap. "Shhh, darlin'. No need to get upset." He cooed, caressing my back. I loved when he did that. Well let's face it; I loved whenever, wherever he touched me. I seemed to crave his touch, badly. And this desire seemed to increase with each passing moment. How would I be able to go through my day without him with me?

"I haven't told them anything about us … yet." He declared. "I wanted to tell them in person, preferably with you by my side. But I'm sure they will be happy to see us both together." He sounded sincere enough, but his eyes told a different story. He was just as unsure as I was.

"I'm not so sure that they will be pleased to hear that we are an item now." I voiced my opinion.

He nodded in acknowledgment. "Maybe, maybe not. We'll see. But even if … I will never leave you. You know that, right?" He asked, glaring at me.

"I know." I said, meaning it.

"I love you, Isabella." He said, cradling my face.

"I know. And I love you, Jasper _Whitlock_." I leaned in, and we shared a soft, loving kiss. When we broke apart, he leaned back, smiling.

"You know, this is one thing I will take care of today." He said, playing with a lock of my hair. I frowned, not following. He chuckled. "Changing my name … well actually retaking my name more likely." He explained, smirking.

"Ah, well … good luck with that." I joked and Jasper laughed. I was curious how he was going to accomplish that task, but I didn't ask. When I took a look at the clock, I knew there wasn't enough time left. "Damn, I really need to go now. I don't wanna be late." I grumbled. Jasper sat me on my feet. He cleaned the table in a blink of an eye. "Wow, you are handy." I observed, and he just chuckled again.

He pulled me towards the front door, helping me into my coat. "You do look really lovely today. Almost too good to let you out … around other males." He growled possessively. _God, I love it … and hate it …_

I turned around. "Thanks for the compliment. And just so you know I was dressing up just for you." I snapped.

His whole face lit up, and the sight mollified me, because he looked like an angel. "That's good to know." He said coolly, opening the door. I picked up my bag, and followed his lead. He walked me to my truck, opening the driver's door for me. I threw my bag on the passenger seat, and turned around.

Jasper immediately pulled me into a tight embrace, and I went willingly. I could almost taste the bitter flavor of departure on my tongue. "Have a nice day, darlin'. And when I get back, I'll show you how much I enjoy your outfit." He promised, with a husky voice. Before I could reply, he planted a toe curling kiss on my mouth, without using his tongue. God, he was so good at this. I was gasping for air, when he released me, barely able to stay on my feet. I really wanted to wipe the smug expression off his face, but I didn't know how. _Smug bastard …_

I jumped into the vehicle. "Later." I said casually, closing the door behind me. I put my key into the ignition, and started the car. I waved a last goodbye, trying to smile despite the ache in my chest that was starting to get stronger … already, and I haven't even left. I knew Jasper felt the same. I could see it in his eyes. We both had no other choice … for now, so we put up a brave face. I watched Jasper through the rear mirror, as I drove off the driveway. He stood there like a statue, looking lost, almost desperate. I couldn't bare the sight any longer, so I diverted my eyes to the front, avoiding his gaze. It was probably for the best anyway, with me being only human.

* * *

**A/N Well, what about Bella's dream? I always wondered about the dreams Bella experienced in the books. They were sort of prophetic, weren't they? So will this one come true also?**


	21. Back to Real Life Part 1

**A/N Thanks for all the reviews. I can see that most of you are quite impatient for the reunion of Rose, Emmett and Jasper, and of course Bella.**

**I promise you soon, very soon.**

**Let's just get Bella and Jasper through their first day apart from each other, alright?**

**Slight warning: there is a tiny (semi)lemon in this chapter. Just a little appetizer for what's to **_**come**_** *snigger*.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 21 Back to Real Life Part 1

Jasper POV

I was frozen in place, watching Bella's truck leave the driveway. Our eyes met once more through the rear mirror, before she returned her gaze back to the front, concentrating on the matter at hand - driving.

Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to go after her. But I knew I shouldn't, better yet that I couldn't. Even though Bella was the most important thing to me now I knew that I couldn't spend every minute of the day with her. Today I had plans, important plans. And Bella had school.

_Why did I allow her to leave in that skirt? Ah, yes, because I'm not Edward …_ I groaned, when I envisioned every boy in school drooling over my woman today, Mike Newton being on the top of that list. She probably wouldn't even notice it, but even if she did I knew Bella could stand her own. Still, I didn't like the prospect of her being ogled and fantasized about. _Possessive much? Yeah, and proud of it! And she'll get used to it …_

I stayed until I couldn't see her truck any longer. Then I finally made my way back to the Cullen mansion through the woods. Peter and Charlotte were already waiting impatiently for my return. They sat on the couch in a lover's embrace. I sighed. I envied them for being able to spend every single minute with each other. I longed for the day I would be able to do the same with Bella. _Soon …_

"Finally … Daddy is home." Peter greeted me, using a childlike tone. I rolled my eyes at him. "What? You told us to stay put, like a _human_ Dad telling his children that they are grounded …" He reasoned, smirking like an idiot.

"Whatever makes you feel better …" I grumbled, but otherwise ignoring his comment. I truly wasn't in the mood for his occasionally twisted but mostly immature sense of humor. Sometimes he was worse than Emmett.

_If he decides to push this issue further, I'll show him what a father does to naughty children …_ I thought, evilly. Actually, he wasn't so far from the truth. I was his creator. This was pretty close to the term 'father', although I've never acted as one, like Carlisle did. We thought of each other as brothers, not son and father. And I would like to keep it that way.

"I'll be back in a minute. I really need a shower. And then we can go." I turned around, quickly making my escape to the bathroom on the second floor, across the hall from my study.

"Did you finally get some? Well, good for you, bro. It was about time." He yelled after me, snickering. Peter knew exactly that I didn't have sex with Bella last night. He would have smelt it. And above all I would have been in a better mood. But as it was, my dear brother simply loved it to mock me, just like Emmett has done with Edward so many times. But in contrast to my virginal brother I had another reason to stall. _The right timing …_

A loud thud thundered through the house. "Ouch, what was that for, woman?" I heard Peter exclaim.

"Like you don't know." Char chided, smacking him again. I chuckled under my breath. Rose and Char were so much alike, as were Emmett and Peter … at least with regard to certain elements in their relationships.

There was no doubt that I wanted Bella, very much so. And once I'd had her, showering would be the last thing on my mind. I would want to smell like her for days. Of course I would want her to do the same, but considering that she was still human … well … I doubted that she would agree to any such proposal.

Anyway, I was pretty sure I would be able to keep myself in check when we actually did the deed. From personal experience I knew how fragile human women were. She wouldn't be the first human I'd have sex with, but the first one who actually would mean something … no would mean _everything_ … to me.

By now, I paid no more attention to their little banter downstairs, which lessened in volume with each passing second. I could sense the shift from annoyance and anger to lust. It was classic Peter-Char-behavior. They used to have a lot of angry make-up sex. Another thing they had in common with my other siblings. This was getting old. I tuned them out as best as I could.

I quickly discarded all my clothes and stepped into the shower. I turned the hot water to its full capacity, groaning in pleasure at the first contact. It was a nice feeling, like fire over ice, but it still had nothing on the feeling of Bella's soft and warm skin on mine.

Peter's little comment didn't miss its (probably intended) mark. Unsurprisingly, it had brought all the memories from last night … and this morning … back to the forefront of my mind. And the vibes I was getting from the two vampires downstairs in this moment weren't very helpful either. Peter was just lucky I hadn't snapped before. I was so on edge already. I missed Bella like crazy. That fact was plain and simple. But on top of that I was sexually frustrated. _More than six months without it will do that to you …_

I knew that this condition of mine wasn't Bella's fault. _Well maybe a little bit … her little stunt … coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel …_ I allowed, smiling at the memory which was imprinted into mind forever. Even without this little unsuspected surprise, she had no problem whatsoever to arouse me.

I'd been semi-hard all night, not to mention the three times my cock had stood up to full attention, and yet I still had denied myself any form of release.

What was wrong with me? Why was it again that I did stop from taking it further? She wanted me, of that I was certain. Maybe I should have just given in? _No, you did the right thing … the timing wasn't right …_

I had to admit that I was a little surprised, but very glad seeing her behaving so uninhibited, so carefree. I shuddered in delight remembering Bella's enthusiasm and curiosity, her finger caressing the bare skin on my back, following the patterns of my scars. For the first time … ever … I'd purred because of someone's touch. It was a natural response in our kind. But Alice has never been able to trigger such a reaction in me. _Interesting detail … _

I closed my eyes, completely succumbing to the feeling of the hot water running over my naked body. I blindly reached for the shower gel, and slowly began to soap my body. I moaned, when my hands lightly grazed over my growing erection. I really needed some form of relief.

The image of Bella standing in front of me in nothing but a towel reappeared again behind my closed eyes … easily fueling my vivid imagination. I just wished she could be right here with me. But as it was, I was alone with nothing but my fantasies. They would have to suffice for now …

_Bella lets the fluffy white towel slip slowly but deliberately, smiling coyly as she exposes her goods underneath it. I grin at her, and she blushes, but only slightly. She knows what she is doing to me. A second later I am finally able to see the whole beauty of her naked body. She is perfect, slim, but still curved in just the right places. Her breasts are round and just the perfect size, not too small, and too big either, just a handful (my hands full). Her nipples are already erect, begging to be licked and bitten._

_I continue to devour her with my eyes, itching to touch, to taste every inch of her luscious body. But I do not make a move … yet._

I placed one hand against the shower walls, thus steadying myself. The other one was wrapped around my throbbing erection, moving up and down in a steady rhythm. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, fully engaged in my fantasy …

"_Can I join you?" She asks, purring seductively. Without waiting for my answer … _like I would say noto such an appealing offer in my dreams or in real life_ … she steps into the shower. I finally can't take it any longer and reach out for her, pulling her swiftly into my arms. I press my entire body against hers, letting her feel how much her presence influences me. We both moan loudly at the sensation of our bare skin touching. Her tiny hands wander over my body, setting it on fire. I reciprocate at once, exploring every inch of her. I lean down, kissing her with all the passion and love I feel for her. Our tongues battle for dominance. Finally her hand reaches the one place I need her the most …_

"_Hmm … Jasper." She whispers into my ear, nibbling on my lobe. I nearly lose it, when she bites down harder. "Need some help with this?" She asks bluntly._

My whole body began to tremble uncontrollably, and I stroked myself harder, envisioning Bella's hand on me instead of my own. I could feel the familiar … and long missed … tightening in my lower abdomen, announcing the imminent approach of my orgasm. It only took three more firm strokes, and then I exploded.

"Urgh … Isabella …" I moaned, almost growled, as I came hard in my hand. I shot my load against the shower wall, and wave after wave of raw pleasure rocked through my body, making me feel alive. I've almost forgotten this wonderful sensation. It really has been too long since I've experienced this kind of pleasure. To tell the truth, this organism has been way more powerful then I was used to, almost making my knees buckle. I was pretty sure it wasn't because of my long period of abstinence, but because of _her_.

_Imagine how it will be when Bella is _actually_ doing the deed …_ I mused, with a sly smirk on my face. _I can hardly wait to find out … it's probably good though that I took care of business just now … this way I'm prepared of what to expect … maybe … hopefully … we'll see …_

After my little dirty but completely necessary indulgence I quickly finished my shower, and then I went into my old room to find some fresh clothes. I made a mental note to clean out this room later this day. I really didn't want to come in here ever again. This part of my life was over, and I didn't need any reminders … visual or otherwise. _Not if I can help it …_

I pulled on some worn-out leather pants, grinning. I was sure Bella would like seeing me in these, as much as I liked seeing her in a skirt today. _Easier access … _I chuckled. _Me and my dirty mind …_ I added a simple black shirt to complete my outfit for the day. I didn't need to dress up to see my lawyer, since this was far from an 'official' visit.

After making sure I had everything I needed on me, I finally made my way downstairs again. I was prepared for some more taunting, but Peter just shot me a dirty look, but otherwise refrained from making another cynical comment this time. _Thank you, Charlotte. _From the looks of it, they both had a nice time as well. Peter's hair was disheveled, and Charlotte's shirt was missing a button. _Well, glad to be of service …_

I sat down on the chair across from them, quickly filling them in on everything I'd found out last night, during my long talk with Bella. Well, at least the official version. I told them nothing about our little share-time.

It was very obvious, that they both were very relieved about Rose's and Emmett's positive reaction, and were looking forward to their arrival. I estimated that by this time tomorrow _my_ family was finally back together. As much as I still dreaded their reaction concerning my relationship with Bella, I too was very happy to welcome them back into my life.

They didn't say anything about the werewolves, understandably though, since I didn't have enough information to go with. This problem could be dealt with later, when Rosalie and Emmett would be here.

Peter agreed to get the necessary equipment to repair the damaged wall, but yet insisted that we both do the work together. "It was as much my fault as it was yours." I couldn't agree more.

Minutes later we all departed. While Peter took his truck to buy the material we needed, Charlotte and I rode together in her rented car to Seattle. She planned to return the car, and to look for a new car at one of the many dealerships around the city, while I was doing my business with J. Jenks.

She offered to go with me, but I'd declined. Not that it would be a problem. Jenks knew Charlotte and Peter, of course. But they both had used his particular service not as many times as any of the Cullens, but often enough. They usually stayed away from the human population, and therefore they were hardly in need of any papers, apart from the usual update of their driver's licenses.

I stared out the window, watching the scenery flew by. My mind was far, far away … with my beautiful angel. I wondered how Bella was doing, cursing myself for not giving her my cell number. How could I forget such a simple thing like exchanging phone numbers? But on the other hand, it was probably better this way. I probably would be checking up on her, constantly, and I was sure that she wouldn't like that very much. Sure, I wouldn't do that to control her. I wasn't Edward. But I dearly missed her, and I just longed to hear her voice.

Charlotte suddenly broke the prolonged silence between us. "I promise it will get better." Her voice was soft, and had a very sympathetic undertone to it.

I turned my head to face her. Her eyes were a deep brown almost black color today. She wore contacts, thus allowing her to walk around freely, and interact with humans … at least a couple of hours until the venom would disintegrate them. Wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day might be a little suspicious. "What?"

"The pain." She said, smiling gently, but also knowingly.

I was completely lost. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, honey. Not only are you projecting your feelings right now, but it's written all over your face. You miss her." She clarified.

"Of course, I miss her." I snapped, glaring at her.

Charlotte held one hand up in defense, glaring back at me. I saw a flicker of pain in her eyes, but I mostly felt her irritation. "Hold your horses, Jasper. I didn't mean to upset you or anything. But I think it is crucial to make you aware of this. For one you don't seem to realize what you're doing. And more importantly I can't handle this extra burden right now … because it's hard enough to deal with my own pain." She said with a certain edge in her tone of voice. I didn't know if it was because of my rude reaction, or because of my pain-sharing. In the end the reason didn't matter. She had every right to be upset with me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you." I apologized sincerely. She had her eyes back on the road, almost like she was avoiding me. But she was probably just waiting for me to continue. "You feel it, too? My pain of not being with Bella … I'm sorry, I didn't know. Wow, my empathic abilities are completely useless …" I huffed, slumping back into the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car.

She laughed softly. "I wouldn't say they … or that _you_ are useless, just out off balance. And no one blames you for anything. We all just want to help you … Bella, Peter and myself. You've been through a lot … so many changes in such a short time. And you know how our kind responds to those." She said, sparing me a significant look. "And as far as I'm concerned you are handling it far better than anyone else would in your situation, especially with the extra burden of your gift. Just give it some time and you will be back to your 'normal' self … eventually." She sounded very sure, but I had my doubts.

"_Normal_? Yeah right." I exhaled loudly. I had no idea what or who the real me was. The person I had been with Alice? The person I had been with Maria? Or was I someone else entirely? I shook my head, taking in several deep breaths, in order to center myself. "But thanks anyway, for your words of confidence and your help, Char."

"Anytime, big brother." She said, patting my arm reassuringly. Charlotte smiled at me, and I returned the gesture.

"So … it will get better?" I pressed. It was more a plea than a question of sheer interest. I hoped for reassurance, because right now this ache I was feeling in my chest seemed more than I could manage … at least on a long term basis. Was Bella experiencing the same thing at the moment?

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, before answering my question. She seemed to look for the right words. "Well, yes … sort of. I don't want to sugarcoat the truth, just to make you feel better. It's more like you get used to this feeling, learning to deal with it. Most of the times I can suppress it." She explained, winking at me. "But will take some time … for you _and_ Bella … to get the hang of things." She sounded a little sad at the end, but at the same time tried to comfort me.

I only nodded in response. My mind was busy processing all the information she's just given me. It was very hard, to say the least. I felt so consumed by my own fears, by my pain, to acknowledge anything else. It made me sick to my stomach that according to Charlotte my sweet angel was probably going through the same thing. I didn't like it, mostly because she wouldn't understand the reason behind this feeling. It was more than just missing the company of a dear friend or a family member. It burned deep inside, almost making my entire body ache. I felt a constant pull in the opposite direction, towards Forks, towards my Bella. And the fact that she had to get through this without me, without the information I had, made me feel even worse.

I realized that I really needed to fill her in on the whole 'mate' issue, as soon as possible. At this moment I wanted nothing more than to call her, making sure she was fine. I couldn't bear the knowledge that she was in pain, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Charlotte seemed to sense my growing anxiety. "She'll be alright. She is very strong … especially for a human." She assured me, patting my arm again. It wasn't enough to reassure me, but it would have to do at the moment. For a split of a second I wondered if the fact that Bella was still human, would make a difference. But I was pretty sure that it didn't. She already felt everything so strongly.

_Not helping … Just a few more hours and then I'll see her … feel her again …_ I reminded myself. This knowledge gave me some peace.

I drew in a ragged breath. "Well … let's hope that my being an empath won't stand in the way of the recovery." I sighed, diverting my gaze back outside the side window. For now at least, this particular subject was closed.

* * *

Charlotte dropped me off in the centre of city, in front of one of the tall business building. This was where J. Jenks' _official_ office was located. Fortunately the day was overcast. Therefore it would be safe for us to be outside during daytime hours. This would make things a little easier. Without the aid of my former wife's special ability, we had to rely on the human weather forecast. But so far it seemed to be working just fine.

"I'll call you when I'm done." I let Charlotte know, as I was leaving the car. I wanted this part of my agenda for today to be over as soon as possible.

"Have fun!" She replied, winking at me. I could feel the mischief behind her statement. I chuckled. She waved at me once, and then she drove off.

I'd barely made personal contact with Jenks in the past. Usually I would just call or email him, giving him instructions and transferring the money onto his account, and he would mail me the finished documents. I didn't think it would be necessary to call him in advance and notify him of my personal visit today. I knew that even if he was out of the office, he would be back here as soon as humanly possible. I was his best customer, so to speak, and he would not let me wait. In fact, he was more than intimated by me. I thought it helpful to keep it that way. I was purposely refraining to use my power on him, to calm or reassure him. People like him worked best under pressure … and a certain amount of fear. That was why he was very reliable … _for a human_.

Of course he didn't know what we were. But I knew he suspected that we were anything but human. But he wasn't a fool, and like any other human (with the sole exception of Bella, of course) he had a healthy sense of self-preservation, and didn't ask any unpleasant questions that would get him into trouble. He was very professional.

I entered the building. Jenks' office was located on the fifteenth floor. I used the elevator, even though it would have been quicker to take the steps.

A young blond woman sat at the front desk. She was around twenty five years old. I couldn't remember her being here the last time, but then again it has been a couple of years since I've paid Jenks a personal visit. She would have been still in school then. The woman looked up from her work when she heard my entrance, and gasped audibly. I felt a wave of lust coming from her.

_Here we go …_ I sighed, mentally rolling my eyes. I tried my best to ignore her emotional chaos. Even with my gift slightly out of balance, as Charlotte had called it nicely, I was able to pick up some of woman's emotions. Curiosity and awe were the most prominent apart from the obvious lust.

"Wh … what can I do for you?" She stuttered, giving me a quick glance over. I wanted to growl at her, thus putting her in her place. Bella was the only one allowed to look at me that way. But I thought better of it.

"I'm here to see Jenks." I said, using my all-business voice, sounding rather impatient. And I was. Impatient and annoyed.

"Do you have an appointment?" She asked politely, checking her calendar.

"No, I never do. Just tell him Jasper is here to speak with him."

She looked a little flustered by my choice of words or my demanding tone, I didn't know nor did I really care. My best guess was that she wasn't used to clients using their first name instead of their surnames. But Jenks knew me as Mr. Jasper, not Mr. Hale or Mr. Whitlock. And I was probably one of the few who didn't make appointments to see her boss.

"Alright." She said, pushing her chair back and getting up. She was still confused but professional enough to forget about her qualms. I watched her walking over to the second door. She knocked once.

"Come in." I heard Jenks' deep voice answer.

She spared me a last fleeting look, before walking into the other room and closing the door behind her. I grinned. Of course I was able to hear every word that was spoken in the other room.

"There is a young man outside. He doesn't have an appointment." The young woman explained, awkwardly.

"And? You know what to do." He replied curtly. I could feel his disappointment. For a split second I felt bad for her, but the sympathetic feeling was gone just as fast as it had appeared. _When did I become such a pussy? Caring about strangers … _

"He said his name is Jasper." She added, sounding defensively.

His reaction to her dropping my name was totally unsurprising. Racing heartbeat, accelerated breathing, and all that. "Send him in. Right now." He sounded very anxious, borderline afraid. I grinned.

_This will be fun._

* * *

Charlotte POV

My new ride was a used, two year old Mercedes, black and sleek. I was lucky to find something with dark tainted windows on such short notice. I knew Peter would give me grieve about my choice, but I didn't care. I fell in love with this vehicle on first sight. He should relate to that feeling …

Jasper hasn't called, so I made my way back to Jenks' office to pick him up. I spotted him, sitting on the steps, waiting for me. From his posture I knew immediately that something was off. He looked … defeated.

I honked, unlocking the passenger door. He looked up, and sighed. A second later he sat beside me, and we drove off. I noticed him clutching a thick envelope.

"What happened?" I asked, cautiously, expecting him to just ignore me. Anger and disappointment were rolling of him, polluting the atmosphere around us. He simply tossed the envelope in my lap, saying nothing. Although it wasn't really necessary I pulled over, cutting of the engine.

"Go ahead." He said curtly, looking at of the side window.

I opened the envelope and pulled out some papers. I quickly scanned them, getting the cliff-notes. "That bitch!" I cursed under my breath, knowing he could hear me quite well.

My grip tightened around the divorce papers. Alice must have sent them to Jenks, guessing that at some point Jasper would make contact with him. The date on the paper told me that the pixie has sent this to J just a month after they've split. She hasn't given him time to cool down and go and find her, to talk this out. I stuffed the papers back into the envelope, tossing it onto the backseat.

"Well, at least that's one less thing you have to worry about. Now you are officially a free man." I stated, hoping to cheer him up a bit.

"Yeah, at least there is that." He huffed, running his fingers through his blond locks. "I don't wanna talk about this right now. Can we please change the subject?" He pleaded.

"Sure, honey. Did you get everything else in order?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm finally a Whitlock again." He sounded truly elated by that fact. Retaking his name might have seemed just a simply thing to an outsider, but to him and us (Peter and I) it meant the world. We were back being a family, name and all.

"So, what do want to do now? Shopping?" I offered, starting the car.

Jasper thought about my proposal for a moment. "Well, I think I might be in need for a bed … that couch of mine isn't working so well." He said, grinning. Although I knew that a bed wasn't really a necessity for us, I could see his point.

"For you or for Bella?" I inquired, only slightly teasing him.

He laughed. "I guess for both of us."

I didn't say anything inappropriate. I wasn't like my mate, knowing exactly when to stop probing.

"Well, I don't really think that shopping for that piece of furniture is actually necessary. I've checked the rooms while you've been gone … with two exceptions, of course." No power in this world would make me go into Alice's or Edward's room of my own free will. I was pretty sure that Jasper knew that. "They are all still partially furnished. The only things they've seem to have taken when they've left are books, clothes and personal items.

"Remember that small room across Carlisle's and Esme's room?" I reminded him, with a smile in my voice. Of course, he would remember, we vampires didn't forget anything, which sometimes was more like a burden than a blessing. "There is a queen size bed in there. I think we can easily put it in your _new_ room." I proposed. I still believed that this would be a temporary solution, us staying in Forks. I wasn't that I didn't like it there, or God forbid, that I had anything against Bella … far from it … but somehow I felt compelled to leave this town sooner rather than later. In my opinion this place was cursed, tainted with too many bad memories.

"Yeah, one of the guest rooms … sure I remember." He grumbled, more in thought than in irritation. "I guess we can just remove my couch … that might work."

"Okay, that's settled then. Anything else, you need? Clothes, shoes …" _Dare I say condoms._ I added in my mind. I giggled.

"Nah, I'm good." He declined, apparently not picking up my mood. Or simply ignoring it. "Let's just go home."

I didn't like the term he used, but refrained from making any comment. "Alright, as you wish."

I directed the car towards the interstate. I could almost taste the relief in the air surrounding us … his as well as mine. We both couldn't seem to wait to see our mates again.

* * *

**A/N And how was your day? Bella's day will be up pretty soon. **

**Leave me some love (or hate if you must)! Thanks!**


	22. Back to Real Life Part 2

**A/N Thanks for all the reviews … as always I'm glad you liked the last chapter. **

**Here now Bella's day … and Peter's, too.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 22 Back to Real Life Part 2

Bella POV

I drove my truck down the familiar road to school. I was more than glad that in a couple months from now this would all be over. I was going to graduate high school in June – finally.

It wasn't that I hated school or something along that line, but I didn't really like going there either. It had more to do with the people than school itself. I've always been a good student. Most classes were easy to manage. I did my homework on time, and I barely had the need to study extensively for any class, with the sole exception of calculus of course. But who could blame me, that subject just sucked.

Back in Phoenix I've mostly kept to myself, too. Of course, I had a couple of friends, but I surely didn't belong to any of those typical groups – popular or non-popular. It has been easier to blend in since the school there was at least three times bigger than this one. Things here in Forks were far from simple. Staying in the background wasn't an option. Right from the first day, everybody knew who I was, and they have been all so excited about my arrival.

_Weirdos._ _Like I am some sort of celebrity …_

Getting all this unwanted attention was more than I could handle at first … well actually in general, too. I hated being the focal point of any attention – good or bad. My association with the Cullens didn't make things easier, but at the time I hadn't really cared, because I'd been far too distracted to notice anything but Edward. I knew most of the girls in my grade had been mostly jealous that I – the new girl – had managed to ensnare the only single Cullen. The reaction of the boys were almost worse, especially Mike's. He clearly detested Edward, not only for the obvious reason. But I guessed it was quite understandable. The Cullen children were outcasts, and for good reason.

Being around my classmates has been … and still was … very difficult after I've discovered the truth about the Cullens. It almost felt like I had to play a role, instead of being myself. I had literally proof that there was more in this world than just us humans. And I had to keep that to myself, keep it a secret. I did that willingly, though. Who would have believed me anyways?

All in all, things have been easier when the Cullens have been still around, which was kind of odd, but true nonetheless. Before than I didn't make much of an effort to try and fit in with the others (of my kind). But after their sudden departure I had no choice but to reconcile with them, since I didn't want to become a total loner. The first few weeks had been hard, because I've been barely talking about anything to anyone. Of course, I'd noticed the gossip. How could I not. It was hard to overhear it. Jessica and Lauren didn't hold back much, enjoying themselves a little too much for my taste. I did my best to ignore them. If it wasn't for Angela constant support and patience, I would have snapped at some point, giving them a piece of my mind.

I liked Angela from the very start. She was shy and kind, a pure and gentle soul. Jessica seemed like a nice person too, at first, but it soon turned out to be nothing more than a façade. She was very competitive, in more than one area. She said one thing, but meant something else entirely. It took me some time to figure that out, but since then I tried my best to stay away from her. Since she hung out with Lauren a lot, a girl I couldn't stand at all (and the feeling was mutual), it wasn't that hard to accomplish.

I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do after finishing my high school education. Sure, I'd applied to some colleges, but mostly to appease my father. A couple of days ago, before Jasper's return, I hadn't had a problem with that plan whatsoever. Going to college, leaving this place and all the dreadful memories behind, seemed like the perfect (and only) chance I had to start the new era of my life. I would go to college, get my degree in English or Literature, and move on with my _human_ life, just like Edward wanted me to.

But now in only two days everything has changed. I had another option, one that I hadn't allowed myself to hope for after the disappearance of my vampire family. Though, Jasper and I hadn't had the chance yet to talk about our joint future, I had a feeling that he wasn't opposed to the idea of me becoming a vampire like him, not like his brother. If anything, I was sure, that _he_ would never let me go, no matter what.

I already missed Jasper like hell and it has been only a few minutes since I've left him. This feeling of loss was totally different from the one I've always experienced with Edward. It wasn't like I was scared that I wouldn't see him again, that he'd left me for good. No, there was this constant pull, telling me that I should be somewhere else, that school wasn't the place I should be going to right now. All I wanted was to be with Jasper. But I knew that I couldn't. I had responsibilities to uphold, at least for now.

_It's just a few hours …_ I told myself, sighing in defeat.

I pulled into an open slot in the school parking lot, shutting off the engine. I grabbed my back bag, and jumped out of the truck. Angela was waiting for me by the main entrance like always. Unfortunately, hers and Ben's relationship hadn't survived the summer, something about insurmountable discrepancies._ Sounds familiar?_

Anyway, at least she wasn't reacting like me, falling apart and all that shit. Maybe it was just me … or it was a vampire-human thing, who knew.

"Hey, Angela. How was your weekend?" I greeted my friend, sounding rather cheerful for a change. But then again I was in a _really_ good mood, apart from the still present ache in my chest, which I tried my best to ignore.

Angela stared at me for a moment, before she broke out in laughter. "Apparently not as good as yours." She said with a slight twinkle in her eye. "You are practically glowing, girl. What the hell happened?" She was clearly curious, but she was never nosy. God, I forgot how perceptive Angela could be, although my good mood was kinda hard to miss today.

"Nothing much." I shrugged. "I just had a good time, that's all." I really wanted to tell her everything. Not about the vampire part, of course, but about Jasper. But I knew I couldn't. I couldn't, right?

"If you say so." She said. I knew she didn't believe me, but she didn't push for any information, which was only part of the reason why I liked hanging out with her. Jessica would have bombarded me with endless questions, until I'd finally give in. Angela wasn't like that. She was cleverer than asking straight questions, which made her even more devious … but in a good way.

"Let's go. Or we will be late." I said abruptly, leading the way. Angela chuckled again, but followed me without saying another word. I had a feeling she was thinking about the best approach to ask me about my sudden change in behavior. And strangely though, it didn't cause me to panic. If there was one human I would confide in, it was Angela. But I knew I couldn't … or rather shouldn't.

_This is going to be a very long day …_

* * *

The first three periods went by fast. With the graduation so close on the horizon, the teachers kept a tight schedule, for which I was very glad, especially today. It kept my mind busy, and prevented me from daydreaming (too much) about Jasper. The weird feeling in my chest was still there, but by now I was getting kind of used to it. As long as I wasn't concentrating on the ache, it was easier to ignore. But it was only dampened, it never went away completely.

When I got to the cafeteria for lunch, there was already a line forming at the food counter. I quickly made my choice, only a chicken sandwich and a bottle of water, since I wasn't that hungry. This uncanny feeling in my chest was clearly tempering with my appetite.

Angela and I usually sat alone at the far corner of the cafeteria, at one of the smaller tables. On rare occasion we had no other choice but to join Jessica and her group of cronies, and endure their endless chitchat about clothes or boys or Prom, things that held no real interest for Angela or me.

It looked like that today was going to be just a day like that. All tables were taken. All but one.

The only table that always stayed vacant was the one the Cullens used to occupy. It was pretty hilarious that no one dared to sit at that table, like it was still haunted by the mere memories of its former occupants. Before today I hadn't considered sitting there an option either, for all the same and yet somehow different reasons. I've sat there every day when I was still with Edward. But after he and his family had left, I couldn't bear to even look at the table. An inanimate object causing pain by barely looking at it was truly pitiful, but probably pretty normal for a human girl my age.

_Time to change another thing in my life …_ I decided, confidently making my way over to said table and sat down. It didn't escape my notice that my brave act earned me some whispers and a lot of stares. But I paid no attention to either one. _Let them watch and talk … I don't care …not anymore …_

Finally Angela entered the cafeteria, scanning the room for me. She was a little startled at first when she spotted me, but after getting her food, she eagerly joined me.

"This is a nice table." She commented, with a smile in her voice. She was clearly enjoying this little venture as much as I. But I could see that she was just as confused as the rest of my classmates.

"Yes it is." I agreed, chewing on my sandwich. It wasn't very good, but what could you expect from school food.

For a few minutes there was silence between us, but it quickly turned from feeling comfortable as usual into awkward. I knew what was coming.

"Bella, what's going on with you today?" She asked, sounding only mildly interested, but I knew she was anything but. She was practically buzzing with curiosity. She picked at her salad, waiting patiently for me to answer her question.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, avoiding her eyes.

"Bella." She chided. "I'm not a fool and I'm not blind … and neither are any of the others, especially the boys here in school." She chuckled under her breath. "For the first time … ever … you are wearing a skirt to school. I wouldn't have given it much thought if it weren't for the gleam of sheer happiness in your eyes. Something must have happened between Friday and today. You know I respect your privacy, but I thought we were friends." She complained, pouting.

_Damn her for pulling out the guilt card._

I kept staring down at my tray, contemplating my options. I was a terrible liar, and more importantly I didn't want to lie to my only (human) friend. I wanted, no needed someone else to talk to apart from vampires … or werewolves. I was a teenage girl after all, and talking about these things to your girlfriend was a natural habit, right?

"You met someone." She blurted out, fortunately not loud enough to draw any attention.

I stared at Angela in astonishment. She was just as perceptive as me sometimes. "Well, I didn't meet someone new …" I began, keeping my voice low.

She held up her hand, stopping me. "Wait, don't tell me that HE is back." By the appalled tone in her voice it was obvious that she was talking about Edward. Although she didn't know every detail about the reason behind our breakup, she truly detested him for leaving like that.

Since she had been there for me, helping me through my dark hours with her endless amount of patience, I knew that I owed her the truth, even if it was only the abridged version.

I shook my head, smiling. "No, Edward isn't back. I doubt I would be that happy, if he was. So, relax, girlfriend."

She seemed appeased. "Alright … then who?" She carefully pressed.

"Jasper." I said, probably grinning like an idiot.

She frowned. "Jasper, who? Jasper Hale … Edward's brother?" She openly gaped at me, with her eyes wide open, trying to process what I've just revealed. I simply nodded. She swallowed hard. "And … you and him …" I nodded again. "Wow!"

"You have no idea." I sighed, thinking of Jasper's soft, but demanding kisses. God, I missed him.

"No, I don't. Now, spill!" She demanded, leaning across the table. I giggled at her enthusiasm.

* * *

Of course I gave Angela only the cliff notes … that Jasper had split from the family, that he was here to pick up some stuff he'd left behind, and that we'd sort of ran into each other by accident on Saturday. I told her that we had spent the entire weekend catching up, and that we had become closer than we've ever been before. I didn't need to tell her that I've fallen for Edward's brother, because it was kinda obvious. She didn't ask for any details, probably sensing my reluctance to willingly share more than that.

But even so I held back a lot of information, she already knew more than anybody else, even my parents. Of course the big secret was still safe with me. I would never put her in harm's way.

Angela stayed calm and quiet throughout the entire time, just listening and processing. But it was easy to tell that she was intrigued and at the same time disturbed by the fact that Alice and Jasper had split as well. It has never been a secret that all the Cullen siblings were in fact couples. If anything that fact only added to the mystery they presented, just another reason, why my classmates have never made an attempt to get to know them. Jessica had called it a sick perversion once, but in truth she was just jealous and disappointed.

When the bell rang, announcing the end of lunch hour, we both stood up at the same time, quickly getting rid of our trays. Before we were going our separate ways, Angela pulled me aside. She looked worried.

"I can see that you're happy, Bella. And I'm glad for you, believe me, I truly am. You deserve this, more than anybody. But please, do me and yourself a favor. Take it slow, whatever this is between you and Jasper. I'm just concerned, that's all. You've gotten hurt big time the last time, and I think I couldn't bear seeing you go through this once again." Her eyes were pleading with me.

"I will. I promise." I said, choking on the emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. I did my best to fight back my tears. Her words affected me more than she could have known. I've always known she was compassionate, and probably the best _human_ friend anyone could have. I still felt bad for treating her the way I've had, back in my dark days. I knew she'd forgiven me, but I still felt the need to make it up to her … somehow, someway.

Angela just nodded, smiling at me. I hugged her briefly but passionately. "Thank you, Angela. I truly appreciate your concern."

"No problem." She shrugged. "What are friends for, right?"

Then we went our separate ways.

* * *

The rest of the day went by quickly. Even Gym went better, than I could have hoped for. We had been starting with badminton today, and I've actually managed to hit the birdie twice. _Yeah, me! _Maybe all this bottled-up happiness had some unforeseen, but positive side effects. But after the yet excruciating hour to endure Mike's constant encouragement, I was more than glad that this day was finally over. Who was he kidding anyway? I had no potential at all. Hitting the birdie was nothing but luck, as far as I was concerned. Sports in general held nothing for me. In my opinion it was only a way to torture me.

After class I went to change as quickly as humanly possible. The ache in my chest was at its peak. Whatever I'd done before to dampen the ferocity of the pain didn't seem to work anymore. All I knew was that I really needed to see Jasper. By this point I was convinced he was the only antidote there was.

I was just out of the Gym, when Mike caught up with me. "Hey, Bella, wait up a second!"

I groaned, but stopped and turned around. Mike came to a sudden halt right in front of me.

"What's up, Mike?" I asked, at least trying to sound nice, but I was sure my demeanor was saying something else entirely.

"Oh, nothing much …" He replied, slightly out of breath. I didn't have time for this, whatever it was that he wanted from me.

"Okay then …" I was about to walk away from him, when he caught my arm, stopping me. I flinched, I actually flinched. It felt like his touch burned me. When he saw my reaction, he dropped his hand at once, blushing furiously.

"Sorry, Bella." Mike muttered, sounding both embarrassed and confused by my reaction. "I didn't mean to upset you. I … I … just …"

"Spit it out, Newton." I demanded harshly, surprising myself as much as him. What was wrong with me? I've never been this openly mean to anybody.

Mike flinched, but recovered rather quickly. He looked at his feet, avoiding my still annoyed gaze. "I just wanted to ask you something." He took in a ragged breath, lifting his head. There was still confusion in his eyes, but mostly determination. _Oh no!_ "Do you …do you want to go out with me … maybe on Friday?"

I really shouldn't have been surprised. This was his … what tenth attempt to ask me out, since Edward had left. What was it with this guy? Was he some sucker for rejection? Once apparently wasn't enough. What could I do to make him see the light?

"Mike …" I began, trying to keep my frustration from showing in my voice.

"Who is _that_?" Mike suddenly asked, glancing over my shoulder. I turned around, following his gaze. Right there in the middle of the almost empty parking lot stood a tall man, leaning casually against the hood of my truck, completely dressed in black with sunglasses on a rainy day.

_Oh crap! What is _he_ doing here?_

* * *

Peter POV

I just couldn't help myself. I had to tease Jasper when he came home this morning. It was easy to tell that he wasn't in the best mood. And of course I knew that he and Bella hadn't taken their relationship to the next step during the night. Understandably though, with all the drama …

But as far as I was concerned my brother actually _needed_ to get laid … and soon. I couldn't imagine going without sex for more than three days … even if it was only a blow or hand job. But how long has it been for him? Almost six months. No wonder he had trouble to control himself and his gift. He needed some sort of outlet. And from what I could tell, Bella could use some loving too. Although I was pretty sure she was still untouched, so she couldn't know what she was missing.

_Lucky bastard …_ I thought. I truly envied him. In all my life I'd never had the opportunity to have sex with a virgin.

Aside from the ever increasing sexual tension between Bella and Jasper, it was obvious how close and dependent on each other they both had already become. I knew from my own experience that their bond would only strengthen after mating.

Of course, my never-ending teasing notwithstanding, I was more than happy that Jasper had finally found his true mate. And so was Charlotte. We both liked Bella, very much so. She was sweet and caring, and she had a very strong will. Her courage and open-mindedness were truly marvelous. She was perfect for Jasper … in more ways than one.

And it didn't matter that she was human, because she would become one of us … sooner or later. There was no way Jasper would allow her to die of old age.

_True mates are forever._

I wondered why it had taken them this long to find each other, since they've know each other for almost a year. Had the pixy known this was going to happen? Was this the reason why they, she and Edward, had kept them apart all this time? I wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case, but it would take their betrayal to a whole new level.

What was really odd was the fact that I hadn't seen Bella's arrival at the house in advance. But after Jasper had told us about her ability to block him out, intentionally and otherwise, I realized that she was probably doing the same thing to me.

_Her power must be getting stronger …_ _and fast._ I mused, remembering that she was only able to block Edward's gift in the past. _I wonder why that is?_

Of course I didn't blame her, since I've never relied on my so-called gift. But something told me, that now it would become in handy, what with the involvement of the wolves and Laurent. I made a mental note to talk to her about that later.

I left the house at the same time as Charlotte and Jasper. I made my way into town to get some material for the repair. Luckily, we hadn't caused too much damage. The wall didn't need to be replaced, just some minor fix-ups. Probably not the first ones in this house, especially with someone like Emmett around. I was looking forward to his and Rose's arrival. They have always been the only ones I've missed not seeing. Rose's letter showed her undying support, and love for her brother. And from what Jasper had told me, Emmett has always been very protective of Bella. I was only slightly concerned about their reaction towards Bella's and Jasper's relationship. I knew it would take both of them some time, but in the end they would accept it.

I returned to the house only after an hour. I've just finished unloading the material, when my cell beeped. It was a message from my lovely wife.

DO ME A FAVOR, HON. CHECK ON BELLA. JASPER IS A MESS RIGHT NOW. HE IS BARELY HOLDING HIMSELF TOGETHER. WE'LL BE HOME SOON. LOVE YOU.

I chuckled under my breath. Of course I knew Jasper would be having trouble being apart from his mate. Even though he was an empath I was pretty sure that he hadn't been able to truly comprehend the depth of our feelings … the one between true mates … not until now.

Every time he'd come to visit me and Char in the past he was way too relaxed. It was clear that his relationship with Alice wasn't equal in strength to the one Char and I shared. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to stay away from his mate for days, without suffering the consequences of their separation.

I quickly typed in my answer. WILL DO. LOVE YOU, TOO. SEE YOU LATER.

I checked the time. It was only 10 am. I knew Bella would be in class until 1 pm. Three hours. I abandoned my truck at the house, and my made way to her school on foot.

* * *

Bella POV

"Peter." I breathed. I abandoned Mike at once, ignoring his protest, and went straight over to my truck. Peter's former frown turned into a full sized grin. But I wasn't returning his smile, because right now I wasn't very happy to see him … not here, out in the open, with witnesses.

I come to a halt right in front of him. I glared up at him. "What are you doing here?" I hissed.

"Well … hello to you too, little lady." He replied smoothly, still smirking. He pushed himself away from my truck, straightening up. But I wasn't intimated by his height or his true nature for this matter. I knew he would hurt me.

I huffed and pushed passed him. "Just get in the car!" I ordered, not trying to hide my annoyance. He just laughed in response. _So not helping here, Peter …_

"As in you are driving?" He clarified, not making a move.

I rolled my eyes at him. "My truck, my rules." I simply stated, opening my door. I threw my bag behind my seat, and sat behind the wheel. Peter was still standing in front of the hood. I held his gaze, communicating silently that I wouldn't change my mind any time soon … or ever.

A second later Peter sat beside me. I quickly glanced around, to make sure no one had witnessed him using his inhuman speed. But Mike had already left for his car on the other side of the parking lot, out of direct line of sight.

"You need to be more careful." I scolded him, starting the engine. I pulled out of the lot, driving by Mike's car. I kept my eyes strictly on the road, avoiding him on purpose. I had a weakness for puppy-dog eyes, and I was afraid that was exactly what I would have to face.

Peter laughed again. "What are really worried about, little lady? Me being caught doing something out of the ordinary, something _vampiric_ … or are you just angry that I interrupted your little chat with the boy? He seems very smitten of you. Are you sure you don't want to give him a chance after all?"

Of course, Peter had heard and seen everything that had transpired between me and Mike. I snorted. "Oh please, Peter, give me some credit. I do have _some_ taste. That douche doesn't stand a chance with me, even if I were available …which I'm not as you very well know."

"That's kinda harsh, but certainly good to hear." He stated, chuckling. I knew he didn't feel sorry for Mike, far from it. I smiled to myself, but didn't comment.

I drove down the empty street, trying not push the engine over its limit. For the first time ever, I regretted not having a car that could go over sixty.

"Are they back yet?" I broke the silence first. My voice was quiet and calm again, displaying some of my pain.

"Yes, they are."

I frowned, glancing at Peter for a brief moment. "So why isn't Jasper picking me up?" I demanded to know.

"Ouch, that hurts. I thought I liked me, little lady." He complained, though it was obvious that he was just mocking me. But thankfully he seemed to sense my irritation somehow. "How are feeling, Bella?"

This question about my wellbeing took me totally of guard. But I could hear only sympathy and worry in his voice. There was no trace of amusement left. "Fine, I guess. Why?"

"Are you sure?" He pressed, seemingly expecting a different answer.

"Well … you're right. I'm not fine, not really." I confessed, sighing. It wasn't that I didn't trust him enough. But I was a little embarrassed. I didn't want to show more of my weak spots, other than the obvious ones … with me being a human. I drew in a ragged breath and continued. "All day … since Jasper and I had departed … I am feeling this pull in my chest, like I am supposed to be somewhere else … with Jasper."

"It sounds very familiar." Peter commented, his voice calm, almost thoughtful. Again I risked a quick glance at him.

_Maybe I should have let him drive after all._

But what I saw in his face gave me some reassurance. I wasn't crazy. This was real, not something I've been imagining. "You know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes. It's the same I'm going through every time I'm away from my mate." He explained.

"Mate?" Of course I knew the term, but him using it in that context implied something I wasn't sure how to take.

"Don't tell me, Jasper hasn't told you yet?" He was surprised.

"Told me what?" I asked, warily.

"That you and Jasper are mates, of course. True soul mates." He clarified.

**

* * *

**

**A/N Hmmm. How do you think Bella will react to this piece of news? And how will Jasper's and Bella's reunion go? Anyone thirsty for some lemonade?**

**Next chapter, Rose and Emmett will arrive. You have my word.**


	23. A Ride on the Rollercoaster

**A/N Over 700 reviews so far, and over 50 for the last chapter. THANKS! I'm so happy that so many of you are still following my story and that there are still new readers coming to join the ride.**

**Well, here now what you've been all waiting for: Bella's and Jasper's reunion after their first day apart and of course the arrival of Rosalie and Emmett.**

**Just a little reminder: This story is rated M for a reason. So if you are under 18, this is definitely not a story for you.**

**With that being said … one last word.**

**Enjoy! *winks***

* * *

Chapter 23 A Ride on the Rollercoaster

Peter POV

Of course I'd anticipated some sort of reaction from her, so I was prepared to act and interfere. Before she had the chance to drive her ancient truck into the next tree, I had switched our positions, taking her place behind the wheel. To say that she was startled to find herself suddenly on the passenger seat was an understatement. Her heart was beating like mad.

"Are you alright there, little one?" I asked. I was a little worried that I'd scared her too much with my sudden move. She might have witnessed vampire speed in action on more than one occasion before, but it was obvious that her human senses still had trouble to follow and that her mind clearly needed some time to catch up. I couldn't really imagine what that felt like … it must be terribly confusing. And it would always be like that, though. As long as she stayed human, that was.

"Yeah … I think so." She was clutching the seat with both hands, taking in big gulps of air, and exhaling loudly. Her heartbeat was slowing down perceptibly with each passing moment, but she was still shaking a little from the shock.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you or anything. But it was the best idea I could come up with on such short notice." I defended my choice of action. "Maybe you should have let me drive after all. Talking and driving at the same time isn't one of your skills. No offence." I added calmly, cautiously gauging her reaction.

"None taken, I guess." Bella grumbled. I had to suppress a chuckle that threatened to escape my lips. I didn't want to make her angrier than she already was. Sure, she was grateful to me for saving her truck from landing in the ditch, and thereby preventing any damage to come to it … and to herself by extension. But it was pretty obvious that she didn't like to be reminded of her human shortcomings.

And somehow I could sympathize. It must be hard for her. We were faster, stronger … and from a human perspective at least more attractive. I got the feeling that she was convinced that we were everything she wasn't. I had to agree on the first two. Being part of the supernatural world had certain advantages for sure, but those were only physical aspects. We were far from better … just different. Freaks of nature, some might say.

Despite the fact that I didn't know Bella for a very long time … only a little over two days to be precise … I still had a pretty clear picture of her already. In the past I hadn't had the slightest interest to interact with a human, but she was truly an exceptional exemplar of her specie. And I wasn't only referring to her quick approval of Charlotte and me. This in itself was out of the ordinary considering we were drinking human instead of animal blood. Yet, she didn't judge us, not even one bit. Her trust in us was simply astonishing, and a little crazy.

But what was really remarkable was how much influence she seemed to have over Jasper. In just a day she'd managed to pull him out of the void, he'd retreated into in the last months, drowning in self-loathing and self-pity. God knows, I'd tried everything and hadn't succeeded. But _she_ had. I was sure it wasn't solely because of her special connection with him. It was simply _her_ … mate or no mate. She had the strange power to bring out the best in us, make us try harder, to better ourselves.

But Bella didn't seem to realize what she was doing, underestimating herself and her enormous inner strength. She was so much better than us, and she didn't even know, couldn't or wouldn't see it. She might think that we were stunning, but the truth was that she was beautiful in body _and_ soul, which couldn't be said for even one of my kind.

Try as we might, the reality remained the same. We were monsters, killers … demons with the faces of angels. Well in case of myself, my mate and my brother it was in fact only the face of angels. The marred skin on the rest of our bodies showed a different picture.

I drove her truck straight to the Cullen house, but slowly, wanting to take my time. I liked spending some quality time with Bella, knowing that I wouldn't get many chances in the future.

"Thanks, anyway." Bella broke the silence between us. She seemed to be a little embarrassed about her earlier behavior, but I didn't blame her. She glanced at me from under her long eyelashes, blushing slightly. I smiled at her genuinely, telling her without words that it was okay. She bit her lip, in a thoughtful kind of way.

"How do you know? That Jasper and I are mates, I mean." She asked, picking up our topic of conversation before the little almost-accident. I'd expected as much, so I wasn't surprised.

"Charlotte's gift." I said.

"Charlotte has a gift too?" She sounded surprised, but mostly intrigued.

"What do you mean _too_?" I inquired, glancing at her. But she was avoiding my interrogating gaze, playing nervously with the zipper of her coat.

"Oh, Jasper mentioned something about you having a gift of some kind the other day. But he didn't know what it was exactly." Bella replied, shrugging. She tried to sound nonchalant, but it was obvious she was hoping for me to fill her in on my secret power.

"Did he now?" I smirked. At this point I was just stalling, playing with her. I'd already made up my mind. I would tell her the truth, not only because of my plan to talk to her about her blocking ability. I loved her, almost like a sister already. It was impossible to lie to her, even if I wanted to. As far as I was concerned, she had suffered enough from deception by vampires who had claimed to love her. She deserved to be treated better, even if she was _only_ a human.

"So do you?" She pressed.

"Yes." I said, taking some seconds to organize my thoughts before I went on. "The first thing you have to understand is that my gift doesn't work like the ones of other gifted vampires you know. It's hard to explain, but I don't have any real control over it, in the sense that I can't use it at will." She looked puzzled, and I hurried to continue. "You know that Jasper senses the emotions of others all the time if he wants to or not. The same goes for Edward, I'm certain. With the little exception of you, my dear of course. What I meant to say is that they cannot shut it off. It's a little different for me. I can't do either one or the other."

Bella frowned in confusion. "Okay … I'm not sure I can follow … so what is it that you can do?"

"You could say that I have visions." I answered, amending at once, "Sort of."

"Like Alice?" She exclaimed, sounding intrigued once more. Was she really happy to have someone around that had the ability to foretell the future?

My answering growl was low enough to escape her notice. I didn't like to be compared to the little pixie one way or another. Fortunately I kept my irritation from showing in my voice. "No, Bella, my ability works in a complete different way. I assume you already know this much. Alice's visions only show probable outcomes, depending on many decisions, big or small ones. Whatever she _can_ see is never a hundred percent certain … just a possibility. It might make her gift helpful on occasion, but in the end not very reliable. Wouldn't you agree?

"Anyhow … what I'm trying to say is that what I _see_ is set in stone, unchangeable. Maybe that's why I can _see_ the past, too. I don't really know. But the most important difference is that I don't have real visions like Alice. I don't see something like those little 'movies' of hers, only picture proof of settings, like photographs. On very rare occasions I _receive_ more than one at a time. It's hard to tell how my gift really works, what the limitation are. But to tell the truth I've never wanted to try and find out. It felt unnecessary. I'm not like Alice. I don't rely on my gift to get through life." I finished my explanation, winking at Bella. She only nodded in response, obviously still trying to process all the information I just gave her. However, I was pleased to see the trace of a small smile flitting across her face. I took it as confirmation that she … like Charlotte and Jasper and myself … didn't like Alice's meddling with the life of others.

"Have you seen anything about me?" She asked then softly, shyly.

I had to laugh at her apprehension. "No, little one, I haven't. Whether it's because there isn't anything important I have to know, or because you are blocking my ability, I do not know."

She was clearly shocked by my statement. "I'm blocking you?"

I shrugged. "I cannot be sure of course, but it is a possibility I have to consider, since Jasper's gift doesn't seem to work on you all the time. And you've always been able to block Edward's mindreading ability, so I guess your gift is still evolving, only getting stronger with time. It does make sense. Why would you only be able to block out one specific gift and not others as well?" I pointed out. She didn't oppose me, probably because she had no argument against my assessment.

"Do you think that Alice isn't able to see me anymore either?" She asked, sounding anxious. _Why?_

"There is a good chance that she doesn't. But the more important question is do you _want_ her to see you or not?" I asked in return.

"No, I guess I would feel better if she doesn't." She said, dropping her gaze. Did she feel guilty? About what? Her bond with Jasper? She had no reason to feel that way, because she'd done nothing wrong. Before I could voice any of my questions she beat me to the punch.

"Peter, why didn't you tell Jasper about your gift? I mean he is your best friend and all …" She trailed off. She wasn't criticizing me, just wondering about my reasons to keep it a secret.

"Well … it's a rather long story. It has something to do with our shared past." I began, not sure if I should continue.

"You mean when you were with Maria during the vampires wars." She assumed correctly.

"He told you about that?" I asked. I was surprised, but glad. It would make things easier for me.

"Yes, last night." She said, giving me a soft, sympathetic smile. It almost looked like she wanted me to give me a hug too. I would have liked that, but now wasn't the right time, so I just returned her smile with one of my own. I didn't know how much she knew, but even a small amount of insight would be good enough.

"At first I didn't realize that I had this so-called gift … actually it took a very long time to figure it out for myself. I thought I was going nuts … getting all these strange, confusing pictures, not knowing what they meant or where they were originating from. All I knew was that they were not my memories.

"And when I finally did solve the mystery, I knew it would be wiser to keep it to myself. Maria was and probably still is very driven. That's putting it rather mildly … she's always looking for vampires with special abilities, in order to expand her domain. I guess it was a good thing that I was an excellent fighter otherwise I wouldn't have made it past my newborn year. That's why I never had a reason to use my gift as a bargaining chip, in order to survive." I grinned. I've always been a cunning bastard. That's one thing that would never change. "I actually kept it a secret for a very long time. I told Charlotte about it only after our escape from that hell hole in Texas. It was safer this way. But anyhow … I was always under the impression that Jasper had suspected something even back then. I don't know why he hadn't said anything. He was in the position to force me to confess, but he never did. Jasper's decisions saved my life more than once." I conceded.

"He has a good soul." Bella simply said, smiling wistfully. I couldn't agree more. Too bad Jasper wasn't able to see that too. _Maybe in time …_

Just then we reached the junction leading to our final destination. I drove down the overgrown lane towards the Cullen mansion. At this point she was practically bouncing in her seat. I wasn't faring that much better, having been apart from my mate for almost half a day had taken its toll on me as well. It was easy to tell that we both were happy and eager to be reunited with our loved ones. At last …

* * *

Jasper POV

Charlotte and I made our way back to Forks much sooner than originally planned. I didn't mind of course, quite the opposite. After receiving my divorce papers via a third (_human)_ party my mood was at its low point.

My sister was supportive and sympatric as ever, but her outrage was very strong, practically rolling of her in waves. I did my best to fight it off, before it was able to crush me. Fortunately, for both of us, Charlotte managed to rein in her anger pretty quickly, thereby allowing myself to calm down. I was sure that she wouldn't have appreciated if I'd done any damage to her new car, which was rather nice in my opinion.

Of course, she wanted me to talk about it, to help me, but I declined her generous offer … for the moment. I wasn't ready to talk about any of it, not yet anyway. It was all too fresh in my mind. I needed time to come to terms with it before I could share my thoughts with somebody else. She understood, and immediately agreed to skip the shopping part of our trip. It wasn't like either one of us needed something that desperately.

Charlotte spared me one last look before she diverted her eyes back to the road, leaving me to my own thoughts.

I leaned back into the seat, and closed my eyes.

_What a fucking mess … _I was just what I needed, another blow, when I was already down … physically and mentally hurting. Thank goodness, that the fucking pain in my chest seemed to lessen marginally but steadily with each mile we were getting closer to Forks.

I wasn't exactly angry or sad, just disappointed. Maybe I didn't have the right to feel this way, but still I'd expected more from my so-called wife … correction _ex_-wife. But apparently I wasn't worth speaking to in person. And maybe there wasn't anything more she needed to say to me. Her message was plain and simple. It was over between us. While I was still drowning in self-pity and self-loathing, Alice had made the final decision about the ending our relationship without me and had sent the papers to the only person she knew I would contact sooner or later.

My mind went back to my earlier meeting with Jenks. A small smile flitted across my face …

_When Jenks handed me the envelop it was clear that he was unaware of its contents. He was too relaxed. Well as relaxed as he could be under the circumstances. The fact that he was in the presence of a vampire, unknowingly though, always had him on edge._

_My first reaction was purely instinctual. I growled, low and deep, but apparently still audible to a human ear. It was very clear I'd scared Jenks more than usual. The color had drained from Jenks' face, and I was able to sense more fear emanating from him than before. He was shaking like a leaf, cowering into his seat behind the desk._

_He looked at me pleadingly, almost like he was trying say. 'Please don't shoot the messenger …'_

_Fortunately for him and me, I was able to get a hold of myself rather quickly. I sent him some calming waves, and assured him with words that everything was fine. I even thanked him for keeping 'my mail' until today. He might have been a little curious about the contents, but my reaction was answer enough. It wasn't good news. His strong sense of self-preservation prevented him to ask any unpleasant questions, though. _

_After that I kept our meeting short and strictly business, just giving him the needed instructions for my new ID and credit cards, just like I'd planned to in the beginning. Right now it did come in handy that I'd decided to keep a separate account from the Cullens the entire time. Jenks promised to have everything ready by the end of next week._

_Before I left his office, I made on final request. I made it very clear that he was to inform me immediately if anybody else was asking about me or my whereabouts. I knew he wouldn't dare to disappoint me …_

I sighed. Maybe Charlotte was right after all. I should take solace in the fact that I was now officially a free man. I wasn't even sure what I would have done, if Alice hadn't beaten me to it. Retaking my name was pretty much the same thing as filing for divorce.

But still I couldn't shake off this feeling of betrayal. Even if she'd felt that way the least she could have done was try to find me, and show me some decency by talking to me in person. Instead she took the easy way out, avoiding any kind of confrontation. I'd never pictured her for a coward. What did she expect? That I would put up some sort of fight? Resort to violence? Hardly. I would never lay a hand on her that way.

But on the other hand, I wasn't really free of blame either. I'd jumped into this relationship with Bella without being _legally_ free. Someone else might consider it a mere technicality but I felt differently. I'd always prided myself as a man of dignity.

I should feel bad about committing adultery, but the truth was that I didn't, because there were stronger forces at work here, forces I wasn't able to fight, even if I'd wanted to. And of course, I didn't want to. Bella made me happier than I could have dreamed of. Alice has never been able to do the same in all those years we'd spent together. I took some comfort in that fact.

We drove back in total silence. I could sense Charlotte's struggle the entire time. She wasn't exactly a chatty person, but this awkward silence between us was unsettling her. But she didn't say anything, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I was grateful for my sister's endless amount of understanding and love. It almost rivaled Bella's capacity for doing the same … almost. The only difference between them was that Bella would show anybody, even a complete stranger the same courtesy, whereas Charlotte only felt this way about Peter and me … her family. I didn't know if it was because Bella was still human, and had a beating heart. But I doubted that. I was sure it was just her. Simply Bella.

* * *

Charlotte and I made quick work of our little redecorating project, switching my couch with the four-poster bed from the guest room. We even added one of the dressers. It was big enough to hold all of my clothes, well all the ones I was keeping anyway. I got rid of more than 75%. All those stupid dress shirts and fancy pants, that Alice had bought me, were going to Good Will now.

In my opinion, the Cullens always had too many clothes, and the wrong ones at that. Jeans and a T-shirt was all I needed … and of course my favorite pair of cowboy boots. True it was nice not to think about money, but there were better ways to spent it. I was glad that Bella wasn't a fashion junkie either. In fact, I could vividly remember more than one time when I'd felt her annoyance about Alice's persistence to take her on one of her crazy shopping sprees. But being Bella, she had never complained openly, not even once. _Always eager to please …_

I thought this whole redecorating thing was sort of fun, although this was supposed to be a short visit, quick in and out. But now it seemed to become more like a permanent solution … well at least as long as Bella was still in high school. I would never be able to leave her side.

But I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to stay in this house. Maybe I should look for a place of my own for the duration of my stay in this town. This house held to many bad memories, for everyone involved. And truthfully, I didn't feel quite comfortable staying here without the knowledge and consent of Carlisle and Esme. After all this was still their house. It made me feel like a trespasser, even though I'd used to call this my home too … once upon the time. But deep down I'd always felt more like a guest than a true family member.

And speaking of true family, I got the feeling that Peter and Char would like to return home, back to their secluded little house in Arizona sooner rather than later. But I was sure that they would stick around until everything amiss was sorted out. I could tell that they both cared about Bella very much already.

After she'd finished changing the sheets and arranging the pillows and the comforter on the bed, Charlotte pulled a package out of her pocket and placed it on the bedside table.

I snorted when I read the label. "Condoms? Seriously? Why would I ever need something like this?" The more important question was why did she have something like this on her? Or did she pick them up back in Seattle? Well at least she chose the right size.

"Jasper, Jasper, Jasper …" She chided, shaking her head in disappointment. "Correct me if I'm wrong but your mate is a virgin, isn't she?" She spared me a pointed look, adding nothing else.

I almost smacked myself in the head. Why hadn't I thought of this myself? True, as a vampire I wasn't able to impregnate a human woman, but coming into contact with my venom could have some bad repercussions, especially for a virgin. For our first time together, a condom would be necessary, if I didn't want to change her by accident. But after that …

"Thanks … I guess." I muttered, still slightly embarrassed by my lack of foresight. But I didn't want to leave the item out in the open, on display practically screaming 'I want to fuck you.', so I went over and hid the package in the drawer of the nightstand. Charlotte chuckled, but didn't say anything.

We'd just finished with the rest of our mission of turning my study into a temporary but nice bedroom, when I picked up the familiar rumbling sound of Bella's truck, slowly coming down the lane. I had been planning to pick Bella up myself, but when I'd mentioned it to my sister she had informed me that Peter was already taking care of it. I was a little upset at first that she hadn't told me, but in the end I was more than thankful of her thoughtfulness. She had sent Peter to check on Bella.

I made my way down to the lower level in the blink of an eye, Charlotte following right behind me. A few seconds later the front door opened and my beautiful angel and my brother entered the house at the same time. And just like that the weird pain I'd been feeling the entire day vanished. A warm, fuzzy kind of feeling took its place. I sighed in relief, and so did everyone else in the room. The combined feelings happiness and love of four people were overwhelming, making me feel dizzy, but good.

But I paid no attention to my siblings and their reunion. I was completely captivated by the presence of my mate. Time seemed to stand still.

When Bella's brown eyes met my golden ones, the smile appearing on her face lit up the entire room. I fell in love with her all over again. She quickly removed her coat and threw it carelessly on the floor. And then without any further delay she ran towards me, jumping into my open arms. I would have easily caught her, but apparently I wasn't prepared for what came next.

Of course it wasn't the physical attack that brought me down, but her emotions … all of them released at once, slamming into me. She literally knocked me over. I went down, taking her with me. She landed more or less safely in my lap, straddling me. She was laughing in pure joy, clearly just as elated to see me as I was to be reunited with her.

Without a word, she cradled my face in her tiny, warm hands and crushed her lips on mine, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. I didn't mind her enthusiasm, quite the contrary I welcomed it. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her back with all I had. Soon our tongues were battling for dominance. I was drowning in our combined emotions of happiness, love and lust.

I barely took notice of Peter's and Charlotte's discreet exit. All of my usually sharp senses weren't working as they should be. At this moment Bella was the only thing I was able to hear, see, taste, smell or feel.

We were kissing what seemed like hours, but it was probably only a few minutes. Too soon I had no other choice but to let go of her sweet mouth. She was gasping for air, but my lips never left her skin. I was hungry for more. I trailed openmouthed kisses along her jaw, down her neck, licking and tasting her skin there. She tasted delicious.

"Oh, God, Jasper." She moaned, tilting her head further to give me better access to her neck. "I've missed you so fucking much it hurt."

"Me too, baby, me too." I breathed against her skin. She shivered in pleasure, grinding her center into mine. I responded with a moan of my own. By now it was obvious how much I enjoyed her brazen behavior. I was painfully hard, yearning for some kind of release. I could smell her arousal. It was sweet and heady. I could hardly wait to get a taste of it as well. My hands went down to her ass, squeezing her cheeks roughly, but still minding my strength.

Before I could take this any further like I wanted to, she pushed herself into a sitting position. First I was a little startled, afraid I might have done something wrong, but I was still able to read her emotions very clearly. She was just as aroused and eager as I was to continue, but I could also sense a slight trace of irritation mixed in with some mischief.

_What the hell?_

"Now, now Major … not so fast." She told me off, with a grin on her flushed face. Her lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing. She looked adorable. "I should be punishing you, instead of rewarding you … because I'm really, _really_ angry with you right now."

I growled in response. I seemed to do that a lot in her presence, but her addressing me with my military rank was quite the turn-on. So was the thought of her punishing me (even if it was merely a fantasy). I've always had a thing for bondage, a sexual preference Alice unfortunately hadn't shared. I was curious if that was something Bella might enjoy … someday.

I tried to pull her back down again, but she pushed away my hands, pinning my arms to the ground. Of course she was no match for my inhuman strength, but I didn't fight her, curious where she was taking this.

"What have I done to upset you, my sweet darlin'?" I asked innocently, playing along. I hadn't taken my eyes from hers, but thanks to my peripheral vision, I could see that her skirt had been pushed up slightly, revealing some of her bare skin underneath. I wanted nothing more than to free my hands and let them travel up her thighs. But I fought the urge though, remaining immobile, pinned underneath her.

Bella seemed to be able to sense my struggle, grinning evilly. It should have been clear that she was up to no good, but I was too entranced by her, to even care. She deliberately wriggled her hips against mine, using more pressure than before. I tried not to move, but failed miserably, bucking up against her. I couldn't help it. It was a reflex reaction.

"Stop that!" She ordered. "I'll tell you what you've done _wrong_. You've neglected to tell me that we are mates … soul mates according to Peter. And no, you can't be angry with your brother for spilling the beans." She said, giving me a meaningful, accusing look. Damn, she knew me pretty well. But she was right. I was the one who'd fucked up, not Peter.

Suddenly her demeanor changed from playful to serious. "Why didn't you tell me, Jasper?" I was able to tell that she wasn't really angry with me for withholding that piece information, just a little disappointed. I winced instinctively. And what did she do? She immediately felt guilty for causing _me_ pain, making shushing noises in order to soothe _me_. This woman was simply incredible. I stared up at her, lost for words at the moment. She gave me a small smile, and then she leaned in again, to place a soft, lingering kiss on my mouth. I responded in kind, pushing every ounce of my love for her into that one kiss. But I felt the urgent need to break our connection prematurely. I owed her an apology and an explanation.

Bella seemed to get the message, and pulled away on her own free will. She looked down at me expectantly, her eyes shining with nothing but love and understanding. I swallowed hard. "Bella, please believe me, I wasn't hiding it on purpose. I'm sorry if I hurt you. That wasn't my intention. It never is. You know that. But with everything else going on … Laurent, the werewolves and Rose and Emmett coming back tonight … well there never seemed to be the right moment to tell you.

"And I didn't want to throw such an important piece of information just at you, without having the time to talk it through with you in peace. I have to admit, there might have been another reason why I'd stalled." I confessed. "To tell the truth I have been a little freaked out at first. Well, not really freaked out, but definitely confused. You have to understand, I'd always believed Alice was it for me. And after I came here to find out that she'd left me for good, I was hurt and began to doubt everything and everybody." I was pleading with my eyes, for her understanding and her forgiveness.

"Jasper, please stop blaming yourself. I understand … your reaction and your decision to wait for the right moment to tell me. I really do, and I am not mad at you. But maybe next time you won't wait so long to tell me that something is bothering you. I am her for you, always." She smiled, touching my right cheek gently, almost reverently. I leaned into her hand, sighing. She was too selfless, too good. I still wasn't sure I deserved her, but I was happy to have her.

"I will." I vowed.

"So really you had no idea at all before Charlotte had told you?" She asked, merely out of interest.

I shook my head, reaching out for her hands, intertwining her fingers with mine. "No, I didn't. Like I've said, Alice and I were supposed to be mates. And as you know vampires mate for eternity, not just for a couple of decades. Whatever it was we'd shared it was obviously never destined to last, otherwise I wouldn't have received my divorce papers today …"

"WHAT?" She exclaimed, pulling her hands free with some force, startling me at first. There was a fire in her eyes that might have scared the crap out of me, if I hadn't felt that her anger wasn't directed at me. I knew this because her anger was quickly followed by waves of pain, self-doubt and guilt. Typical Bella behavior, she was blaming herself for all of this mess.

I couldn't have that. And I wouldn't.

I pulled myself into a sitting position, slightly rearranging Bella on my lap, so that our crotches didn't touch anymore. _No more distractions …at least for the moment …_ My embrace was comforting but casual, leaving some space between our bodies. Bella placed her hands to my chest. Her emotions were still in disarray.

I sent her some calming waves, and to my surprise she didn't fight my help at all, which was good, because honestly I couldn't take any more of her negative feelings. They felt like knives cutting through my durable skin, stabbing right into my dead heart. It was crucial for my own sanity and well-being that she calmed down. And slowly but surely she did. But even though, she still had my shirt gripped tightly in her tiny fists like she was afraid I might push her away after all and leave. Was she thinking that I was blaming her? _That's just crazy …_

I gave her a small, but genuine smile and I ran my hands over her clothed arms in a reassuring way.

"Please, Darlin', calm down. You have no reason whatsoever to feel bad or guilty about anything. Not even about your little outburst, because that was exactly my first reaction … as well as Charlotte's." I joked, but only halfheartedly. This was hardly a laughing matter. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She was too tense, still unsure. I took in a deep breath, before I continued.

"Yes. Alice had filed for divorce. And yes she had done so only a month after our separation. But as much as I want to give her a piece of my mind about her more than disrespectful way to get rid of me, I know it wouldn't change anything. Alice is my past, but you, my dear Isabella you are my present and my future." I told her, letting her feel my sincerity. I could hear her heartbeat pick up pace, and her breathing got hitched. I could tell that she trying to fight back tears, her feelings threatening to crush not only her but me as well. I wanted to drown in our shared feelings of love and devotion, but I wasn't finished yet. I did my best to hold them at bay for the moment.

"I'm not even sure if it was indeed love what I'd felt when I was with her. Maybe I'd confused gratitude with love, who knows. I might be an empath, but I'm far from infallible, especially when it comes to my own feelings." I admitted with a sad smile. "But in the end none of this matters. Sure, I will forever be grateful to Alice for showing me that there is indeed another way to live beside the constant mayhem and slaughter I'd been exposed to for almost a century. And I will never regret that I had agreed to go with her, because if I had denied her request, I probably wouldn't be here right now. In fact maybe I should thank Alice for leading me here … to you, my true and only mate. I love you, Isabella, with all my heart and my soul. Never doubt that." I finally let go, allowing her to feel my undying devotion, yet careful not to overwhelm her completely with the intensity of my feelings.

A single tear ran down her cheek, but I knew it was a tear of pure joy. "I love you too, Jasper Whitlock." She sniffed. "I'm yours, only yours, my mate… my _Major_." She added with a wink. I growled again, pulling her roughly towards me and kissing her with all my passion. We kept on kissing like that for another full minute, until she was out of breath again. I broke contact, resting my forehead against hers. We both were breathing heavily.

"I love when you call me that." I said in a husky whisper.

"I've figured as much." She giggled. "And just so you know I love your response too."

"Then I'm hoping you are prepared for any other _consequences_ as well." I warned playfully. My voice was deep and hoarse. I tightened my grip on her hips, pulling her closer.

"What do you have in mind?" She asked. Her voice was low, practically oozing sex. She had no idea that she was playing with fire. But then again, maybe she knew exactly what she was doing, and was just awaiting my reaction. Whatever, the truth was that I had to fight the urge to take her right there and then, finally claiming her as my mate. I had to tell myself that she deserved better. Taking her here, on the floor, in the living room was hardly the right place for her … for our first time.

Instead of granting her with a verbal answer to her question, I stood up, with her still in my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist in order to steady herself. I did my best to ignore the heat emanating from her center, so close to my groin.

I walked us up the stairs, in a human pace. "I have a surprise for you." I announced on the way. She frowned at me. "Oh, no, don't give me that look. I haven't spent any money, not even a dime, I promise." I laughed. I was aware that she wasn't very fond of surprises per se, especially the ones including expensive gifts.

"Alright." She conceded with a grumble. She seemed to be somewhat appeased, apparently believing me. And I knew she had no reason not to.

I took her straight to my new room, setting her down on her feet right in front of the closed door. "Go ahead." I encouraged her. I was a little nervous about her reaction, but mostly excited.

When she opened the door, she gasped. "Wow." She was surprised, and I could sense that she liked what she saw.

"I know the room is a little cramped now, but I thought you might prefer a real bed." I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Bella turned around, giving me a pointed look, raising one of her perfect eyebrows. "So, you think just because you've added a bed to your room that I'm going to spend my nights here with you from now on." She tried to sound reproachful, but failed miserably. Her emotions gave her away. She was impressed and happy … and a lot of other things, but definitely not angry.

I slowly but deliberately closed the distance between us, gently placing my hands on her hips. I pulled her towards me, having to use barely any force. She went more than willingly into my waiting arms. "Well, not every night. What would your father think? But I was hoping at least some?"

Bella smirked at me. "We'll see." She replied, teasingly. She let her gaze wander towards the bed, and then back to my eyes. "How about we take it for a test drive?" She cooed, letting her hands wander over my chest.

For a moment I was shocked by her boldness, but I recovered quickly. _What a minx …_

"You really have no idea what you're asking for." I growled. I picked her up effortlessly, and flung us on top of the bed. We both landed safely in the center. She giggled at my antics, or my enthusiasm, who knew. I didn't care what the reason was. I just loved hearing her laughter.

I gently pushed her onto her back, hovering over her. I supported most of my weight on my arms, not wanting to crush her, but there still was barely any space left between our bodies. Without waiting for her permission, I leaned in and pressed my lips insistently on her already swollen lips, kissing her senseless. She writhed underneath me, seeking out some needed friction. It was clear that she was truly enjoying herself.

With each passing moment our little make-out session got more heated, leaving no doubt left about where we were heading, if we'd continue on this path. Part of my brain … a very little part … shouted at me, trying to tell me that this was happening too fast, that I should take it slow, maybe even wait, but my body refused to listen.

I wanted this … badly, more than anything. I wanted to claim her, to make her mine. It felt so right. I ached to feel her warm, soft skin against my own. I wanted to taste her, to ravage her, to feel her wrapped around my now painfully hard cock. I could tell that she wanted the same. I felt her increasing desire for me, for my body. Her constant moaning was encouragement enough, but the scent of her arousal, getting stronger by the minute, permeating the air in the room, was what truly convinced me. I could literally taste her need for release on my tongue.

Call me a greedy and selfish bastard, but right now, I was more than happy that she was still untouched … still pure and innocent … therefore I would be the first _and_ the only man who would have her this way. _She is mine … only mine …_

Once again I pulled back from her lips, allowing her to catch her breath. But my hands never left her still completely covered body … learning, discovering, caressing, encouraging. "You should wear skirts more often." I breathed against the skin of her neck, licking my way up to her ear.

"Only for you." Bella managed to reply, her voice unsteady, husky.

"You'd better be." I chuckled darkly, gently biting her earlobe before giving it another lick. She shuddered delicately. Her answering growl was rather cute. _My little kitten …_

I slowly pulled back, sitting up on my knees between her parted legs. She was breathing heavily, and her face was flushed from excitement and arousal. She was gorgeous. Her clothes were slightly crumpled and her skirt at risen up, showing part of her pale tights. I placed my hands on her waist.

I raised my eyebrows in a silently question, persistently tugging at the hem of her sweater. I wanted to see her, all of her. I yearned to feel more of her skin. Bella understood my subtle hint, allowing me to pull both her sweater and her shirt off her in one swift movement. I tossed both items somewhere on the floor beside the bed. My eyes roamed hungrily over her partially exposed upper body.

She blushed under my scrutiny. "You are so beautiful." I said, not only because I wanted to reassure her. Fantasy-Bella from earlier today had nothing on Real-Bella. She was only partially naked, but as far as I was concerned she was beyond beautiful … she was perfect. My hands went right for the prize, cupping her lace-covered breasts. They fit perfectly.

Bella moaned loudly at the contact. I rubbed my thumps over her nipples, feeling and seeing them tightening further. She arched her back, leaning further into my touch. I used this chance to reach behind her, quickly unfastening the clasp of her bra. Due to my waning patience I almost ripped the bra, when I removed it. It joined her other clothing items on the floor. For a split second she was shocked, but when I put my hands back on her now naked breasts, she trembled and moaned in satisfaction.

She felt so good under my hands, soft and warm. I still marveled at the fact that difference in our skin temperature wasn't as big as it should be considering she was human and therefore alive, and I on the other hand was a living corpse, cold and hard. True, she was still warmer than me, but not as scorching as I remembered human skin to be.

"Please, Jasper …" She moaned, begging me, desperately clutching the comforter in her tiny fists. "I need more."

I smirked, leaning down to take one of her peaks into my mouth, while continuing to pinch the other one between my thumb and forefinger.

"Yes." She hissed in pleasure, arching her back again.

I teased her nipple relentlessly, changing between licking, sucking and biting, testing what she liked the most. Apparently she had quite a thing for biting. Every time I did that, she let out a loud, lingering moan, further increasing the level of her arousal.

I moaned against Bella's skin. She tasted divine, sweet and heady. I could taste the faint residual trace of her shower gel, something fruity, on her skin, mixed in with her very own aroma. It was intoxicating. I let go of her nipple, slowly moving downwards, my tongue and mouth never leaving her skin. I had to rearrange my own body slightly, coming to lie between her parted legs.

I pulled back slightly, chuckling at her whining protest. I looked up at her face. "Tell me what you want me to do." I breathed against the bare skin of her stomach.

She shuddered again. "I don't know … something … just touch me." She whimpered.

Her innocence was truly adorable. I knew exactly where she wanted to be touched, without her telling me in words. The scent of her arousal was getting stronger by the minute. Today I was going to let it slide, but in the future I would make her say it … out loud.

I reached down to the hem of her skirt, letting one of my hands disappear under it. The skin on her legs was soft, and so smooth. She must be shaving her legs. Without breaking our eye contact and ran my hand upwards, slowly … very slowly. Bella was holding her breath in anticipation, waiting for me to touch her where she needed to be touched the most in this moment. I stopped right at the very edge of her boy shorts. She whimpered again.

"Breathe, Bella." I reminded her, softly. Not wanting to wait any longer myself, I ran one finger alongside her slit. "So wet already …" I moaned, putting more pressure against her center. Bella moaned loudly, sighing in relief. She was a picture of beauty. Her eyes fluttered close, her mouth slightly parted, her face flushed in pure rapture. She bucked her center into my hand, seeking more needed friction.

It still wasn't enough for me. I needed to see her, needed to feel all of her. I pulled my hand away, and sat back on my knees again. I shushed her before she was able to voice her complaint. "I am going to take off the rest of your clothing now, Bella." I said in rough voice, not trying to hide my own excitement. "If you don't want to go any further, please tell me now and I will stop. I promise I won't be mad." _But greatly disappointed_ … I added in my head.

She blushed, but nodded her head. "It's okay. I want this, I need this … please … don't stop now, Jasper."

I could feel her slight embarrassment at the situation, but her need for release was stronger. And more than that, she trusted me not to do something that would hurt her … emotionally or physically. "No need to beg, my darlin'. Not yet anyway." I teased, trying to lighten the mood, to ease her discomfort some. It seemed to work, because she giggled in response.

I made quick work removing the rest of her clothes, soothing her nerves by placing strategic kisses all over her body. I refrained from using my gift on her, because that would be cheating, and not to mention a direct violation of her trust. Of course I could have asked for her permission but I wanted her to feel what she was feeling, not manipulating her to suit my needs. After all, this right now was all about her.

Finally she was completely naked. A slight shear of I couldn't take my eyes of her, drinking in the sight of my mate offering herself freely. My hands kept traveling over her heated skin, leaving goose bumps of pleasure not coldness in their wake.

When I cupped her cleanly shaven center with my hand, she practically screamed out in pleasure. I was thrilled to see her behaving so uninhibited. She was so responsive to my every touch, my every kiss. I loved it.

She was dripping wet. I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to taste her … from the source.

I retook my earlier position between her legs. She squirmed, trying to move away, feeling slightly embarrassed again. But I wouldn't have any of that, holding her hips still. "Just relax and enjoy. I promise this will feel really good." I purred, gently pushing her legs further apart. Her lips were glistening with the evidence of her immense arousal. I leaned in, licking once from her entrance up to her clit, circling the already engorged nub a couple times, before I pulled back.

Both of our reactions were instantaneous and mutual, both moaning deeply in pleasure. She tasted better than any blood I'd ever had. Being so close to her femoral artery, hearing her blood pumping through her veins, should have amplified my bloodlust by tenfold. But it didn't. Sure, I could smell her blood, but I wasn't even the slightest bit tempted. My thirst was of a completely other kind.

Bella immediately moved her hands to my head, weaving her fingers through my hair. She didn't use any pressure, but her message was clear, she was trying to make sure I stayed right where I was. I chuckled.

"Seems like, you _do_ enjoy this after all." I remarked, giving her another quick lick, before I continued. "Don't worry, darlin'. I have no intention not finishing what I'd started." I reassured her, teasing her entrance with one of my fingers. "Hmmm … You are so wet, so warm … so soft." I murmured, entering her slowly. "Ah, and so tight." I moaned in unison with Bella's. "I can hardly wait to feel you wrapped around my cock … fucking her tight pussy until you won't be able to walk the next day." She moaned even louder than before.

_So my girl liked it when I talked dirty. Mmmh … that's interesting._ I stored that knowledge away for future reference. Right now my mouth was busy. I began to lick her in earnest, at the same time resuming to move my finger slowly in and out of her pussy. She was so tight, but so slick at the same time. Soon I added a second one, slightly increasing the tempo.

"Oh … yes …" She moaned loudly, pressing down, beginning to fuck herself on my finger. I could tell she was close, both by her emotions and by the tightening of her muscles.

"Let go. Cum for me, my mate." I encouraged her, increasing the pressure on her clit as well. When I bit down, gently though, careful not to hurt her, Bella arched her back, and her entire body went rigid. Her walls clamped down, and she released around my fingers. I removed them immediately, only to replace them with my tongue, allowing her to ride out her orgasm on it. I eagerly lapped up every drop she had to offer, groaning and moaning the entire time. I would never tire of this taste. It was pure heaven. I cleaned her thoroughly with my tongue, gently bringing her down from her high.

Then I crawled up her body, claiming her mouth with a searing kiss. She opened her mouth eagerly, and I plunged my tongue right in, allowing her to taste herself. She wasn't disgusted, not at all, if anything her desire picked up again. I pulled away when I felt her need to breathe, looking into her deep brown eyes, shining with satisfaction and love.

"Wow …" Bella breathed. "That was … amazing. Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Darlin'. It was truly my pleasure." I purred, waggling my eyebrows. She giggled. I rolled on my back, pulling her with me. She rested her head on my chest, trying to calm her still slightly erratic breathing. I fed of her satisfied state of mind, but it wasn't enough.

My cock was so painfully hard by this point, not only begging to be released from its confines but also hoping, no expecting some sort of reciprocation. Almost like being able to read my thoughts Bella's hands travelled down to the hem of my shirt, tugging, silently asking me to take it off. Who was I to deny her this simple request? And to be honest I wanted to feel her hands on me again, like this morning.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her warm hands traveling over my chest. She leaned in kissing my scars, gently, almost reverently, like she was trying to remove the ugly memories of my past and replace them with happy ones. My mate seemed to have a sort of healing touch. My sigh of contentment turned into a constant sound of purring.

Suddenly her hand traveled south, over my still covered but very obvious erection. My eyes snapped open. She locked her gaze with mine, asking for permission to go on. I simply nodded, not trusting my voice.

Lowering my zipper, she licked her lips reflexively and tugged my pants over my hips, finally freeing my erection.

"Wow." She breathed, blushing furiously.

"I take it you like what you see?" I said, proudly, with a smirk in my voice. As a vampire I was very well endowed.

First she seemed to be a little scared, like she was wondering if it would ever fit, but she certainly did like what she saw. She licked her lips again, causing me to groan. I wanted nothing more than to feel her luscious lips wrapped around my hard cock, sucking me off. "Yes." She managed to get out.

I didn't dare to ask her to give me a blowjob. This was her first time. All was up to her. If she wanted to do it, I wouldn't have stopped her. Bella reached out and wrapped her tiny hand around my stiff member. Her fingertips weren't touching due to my size. But having her touch me this way at all, was enough to lose my control.

"So soft." She murmured, slowly, tenderly moving her hand up and down my cock, using the drops of pre-cum as lubrication. She carefully increased the tempo, always monitoring my response. I bucked my hips, letting her know that I enjoyed myself, encouraging her to use more strength and quicken the pace. I knew I wouldn't last long; I was so wound up tight. A part of me wanted to prolong this sensation, but the bigger part really needed a release, and soon.

Surprisingly this time, a still far-away noise was able to break through the muddled state of my mind. The sound was getting louder by the second, informing me that a car was coming down the lane, only leading toward this house and nothing else. There was no doubt in my mind. I knew who this car belonged to. It was the familiar sound of Emmett's jeep.

Their timing truly sucked.

"Fuck, no!" I cursed under my breath. My frustration was hard to miss, evident in my voice. In fact it was unmistakable in my entire demeanor. I had been so fucking close, my own blissful orgasm just out of reach. I didn't want her to stop … not now or ever. But unfortunately there wasn't enough time left for me to reach completion. I huffed and placed a hand over Bella's, purposely but very reluctantly stopping her ministrations. I opened my eyes and locked them with hers.

Misinterpreting my action and my facial expression, she withdrew her hand instantly, with a frown on her beautiful face. "Did … did I do something wrong?" She stammered, self-consciously as always. I wasn't really surprised by her wrong assumption. It was so Bella. I sat up, pulling her into my arms at once.

"No, my sweet darlin', of course not. What gives you that idea? It was wonderful, absolutely perfect." I reassured her, not only with words, but with a dose of my still intense desire for her as well. To further prove me point, I gingerly grabbed her hand, placing it back on my still hard cock, moaning at the contact. "Does this answer your question?" I purred, challenging her with a look.

She smiled timidly, blushing slightly. "Yes …but I … well … you know …"

I didn't let her finish, stopping her silly rambling with a quick, but passionate kiss. I knew we didn't have a lot of time, before my sibling would come bursting through the front door, but I needed her to get passed her insecurities. "Bella, you have no idea how much I want to continue this. You drive me crazy with your mere presence, even more so with your warm hands and soft lips on my body. I know you don't have any experiences, but it doesn't matter to me. You are just perfect. I love you and I want you … all of you, all the time. Never doubt that.

"But I'm afraid unfortunately now is not the time to prove this statement. Emmett and Rose will be here shortly." I finished.

Bella nodded, sighing. I could tell that she believed me. I could feel her relief, and her embarrassment about doubting me in the first place. "Oh, okay … I'm just … wait, what? Emmett and Rose are here … Oh, my God!" She exclaimed, jumping hysterically out of my embrace and then out of the bed. She blushed furiously … from top to bottom, while she was frantically scrambling around the room to find all of her clothes. I chuckled, but she simply ignored me, continuing her search.

"Mmmh, I've always wondered where your blush would end." I mused, smirking. "Now I know."

She snapped her head up, glaring at me. "Now is not the time for fun and games, Jasper!" She growled, blushing even more under my intense stare. I was practically devouring her with my eyes. And how could I not, she was stunning, gorgeous, sexy … in other words good enough to eat … well only figuratively speaking of course in my case. Her blood wasn't calling to me.

I chuckled again, biting my tongue. I knew in her panicked state it wouldn't be sensible to antagonize her further with another snappy comeback. Instead I finally made it of the bed myself, doing my best to will my erection away under the circumstances, and quickly refastening my pants. I picked up my shirt from the floor and pulled it back on.

In the meantime Bella had only managed to put back on her underwear. She was very nervous, understandably though. We both didn't know what to expect exactly. Everything was possible from acceptance to rejection. I went over to where Bella stood, stopping her mid-process of redressing, and pulling her into a comforting hug. "Shhh, sweetheart, don't stress yourself. Don't worry, darlin', I'm sure everything will be fine." I soothed her.

"If you say so." She grumbled into my chest. She sounded just as uncertain as I was, but I tried my best to hide it from her, not sure if I succeeded.

"Whatever happens, we will stick together no matter what. I love you … always and forever." I vowed. I placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up and sealing my promise with a soft, but deep kiss.

"I love you, too, Jasper." She sighed against my lips. We both didn't want to but we knew it was necessary that we parted.

"How about you go to the bathroom and get dressed there. I will go downstairs to greet them. Just take your time, and come down when you're ready, okay?" I proposed. She nodded in agreement, very grateful for being giving some extra time to prepare for the coming reunion with her former favorite brother and his wife. We kissed one last time.

While Bella made her way to the bathroom, to freshen up and to get fully dressed, I went downstairs. I picked up Bella coat from the floor by the door, and threw it over a chair in the kitchen. I knew this wouldn't help. There was no way to hide or deny the fact that Bella was here, or that we had been intimate just a few minutes ago. She might be able to wash of my scent, but I didn't have the same option. Not that it mattered. To my knowledge her truck was still packed in front of the house, right on display and her scent was all over the place. Not to mention Bella's heartbeat was the only one for miles. Only a complete fool would miss all those clues and my sister … at least … wasn't one. In fact she has never been easy to deceive. She saw everything. Just like my Bella.

I could hear the car came to a halt, and soon after two doors were being opened and then slammed shut. I stood in the middle of the room, waiting.

A moment later the door opened and my blond sister entered the room. "Nice ride outside. Yours?" Rose asked, dropping a bag by the door. She glanced around the room, but it was more in a reflex reaction than anything else. As far as I was able to tell from her emotions, she hadn't realized that Bella was here. _How odd._

"Well hello to you too, I suppose." I said, with a smirk on my face. "No, it's not mine. It's Charlotte's new baby."

She laughed and threw herself at me, hugging me tightly. She was more than happy to see me, relieved actually. She had truly missed me. I returned her hug with the same enthusiasm. It was so good to see her. I noticed her taking in a deep breath, and then she tensed, her whole body went rigid in my arms. She growled slightly.

_Here we go … _

Rose let go of me, taking a deliberate step back. I braced myself for whatever reaction would come. But she didn't make a scene like I'd expected. She didn't say anything, not a word. She simply stood there, taking another deep breath, obviously still tasting the air. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for more evidence. Like that was anymore necessary at this point. I knew she could smell her in the air, and on me. She also must have heard her heartbeat on the upper level. Finally her golden eyes landed back on me.

"So, Jasper, my dear brother. Is there _anything_ you want to tell me?" She asked, grinning. She knew that Bella was here. But I couldn't sense any animosity, just curiosity and a heavy dose of amusement.

_What the hell?_

Before I was able to answer her question my brother showed up at the door, carrying three more bags. He dropped them unceremoniously on the floor.

"Hey, bro. What have I missed?" Emmett boomed.

* * *

**A/N Wow this is my longest chapter … ever. I had to stop somewhere, so I hope you aren't mad for leaving you with yet another cliffhanger. You know me, I like them.**

**Anyway, what did you think about my first lemon (it's not really my first lemon ever, but the first one of many to come for this story). Did I disappoint?**

**And did Rose react the way you'd suspected? How do you think Emmet will react? Just as cool as his wife? Stay tuned … until next time.**


	24. Many Firsts

**A/N Sorry that it took me so long to update, but it couldn't be helped.**

**The responses for the last chapter really were amazing, and they made me laugh a lot. Of course, I was just as frustrated as Jasper, leaving him hanging (or rather standing) there without any kind of relief, was hard (no pun intended). But Bella will make it up to him … hopefully very soon. I'm so jealous. I wish I could take her place. Hmmm.**

**Enough with the whining and babbling … let's get back to the family reunion. But first let's see how Bella is dealing with all the excitement, shall we?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 24 Many Firsts

Bella POV

I looked into the mirror above the sink. My reflection made me blush and smile at the same time. My hair was tousled, my face was still flushed, and my lips were visibly swollen from all the kissing. I surely looked like someone who'd just had a lot of fun. And I felt like it too. In fact my whole body still tingled slightly with the residual energy left from the incredible, mind-blowing orgasm Jasper had just given me.

"What a head rush … followed by a large bucket of icy-cold water …" I grumbled the last part, recalling the unpleasant reason for putting things to an abrupt halt.

Of course neither Jasper nor I wanted to stop, but being caught in the act by Emmett and Rose wasn't high on my to-do-list, far from it actually, which was why I was currently hiding in the bathroom, to get redressed. Jasper was downstairs waiting to greet his siblings. I just hoped he would be able to defuse the situation. There was no doubt in my mind that they would figure out without seeing me in person that I was here. They would be able to smell me, not to mention to hear my heartbeat. My truck, parked right in front of the house was a big neon sign, very hard to miss.

I wasn't really hiding, but to tell the truth, I still needed some time before I made my presence known to them by actually showing myself. And looking like I did right now, wasn't going to work for me.

I turned on the faucet, splashing cold water into my face. I still felt hot from all the excitement, and I was definitely in need of some refreshment. I sighed. The coldness of the water felt simply amazing, helping me to cool down, but at the same time bringing back the memory of Jasper's touch. The slight difference in our skin temperature didn't bother me at all, if anything it seemed to make every sensation that much more intense.

I was still wondering why Jasper didn't feel as cold as any other vampire. When I'd touched Peter's skin today, he felt just as icy as Edward. Was this a mate thing or just me?

I shook my head. Now was not the time to ponder over this, but I made a mental note to ask Char later. With her insight in all things soul mates, she might have some answers for me. I was sure Jasper was wondering the same, but oddly he hasn't mentioned it either.

Of course it wasn't my first orgasm. I was far from innocent … even before I'd met Edward. Yes, I'd told him that I was a virgin, and I hadn't lied about that. But I was a normal (sort of), healthy, hormone-driven eighteen-year-old teenager, for crying out loud, and I had natural cravings. I might not let them control me, but sometimes … well they just needed to be fulfilled … somehow. And since I'd never had any intention to give myself to just anyone, I'd had to meet my requirements in another way, so to speak.

_And masturbating can be fun …_ I mused, while I was drying my face and my hands with the fluffy white towel.

It surely was, but more importantly it certainly helped to take of the edge, to help me unwind whenever I felt too horny. Well … to put it bluntly, sometimes I just needed to scratch the itch. And of course, as any normal teenager it helped to learn more about my body, and its responses.

But this … Jasper touching me, not only with his hands, but his lips and tongue … this was so much more, so much better than I'd imagined it would be. He'd given me what was by far the best, the most intense orgasm I've ever experienced. And something told me, this was just the beginning that it would only get better with time … and with every further step of our mutual exploration of our bodies.

At first I had been a little nervous, not knowing what to expect, how to respond. Sure, the concept of performing oral sex wasn't unknown to me. But reading about it in theory and experiencing it in reality were two complete different things. Of course I had been aware that Jasper could smell me, and I couldn't say that I was completely comfortable with that fact (not that I smelt but still). And having him tasting me, down there … well let's just say I had been apprehensive at best … as to how he would react to my 'flavor', for the lack of a better term.

Of course Jasper had sensed my nerves, telling me in his usual soothing tone of voice, that I would enjoy this. And he had been right (who was I to doubt a hundred and fifty plus year old vampire and his sexual prowess). One flick of his tongue against my joy spot, and all the angst, all my doubts had evaporated into thin air, and I'd given myself over to this incredible sensation, eagerly. And according to his feelings which he had been projecting the entire time, he had been enjoying this as much as I had … maybe even more so.

Despite my still nagging doubts whether I would be able to live up to his expectations, at the time I had been willing to return the favor, but after taking one look at his cock, I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to do that. His cock was beautiful for sure, but it was also very, _very_ huge. Even though I had nothing to compare him to, I knew that Jasper was above average in that department.

_Maybe it was a vampire thing …_

My stomach did these weird flip-flops again. I remembered listening to some girls in the gym locker room one day, as they were talking about their experiences and their preferences. According to them, having a well-endowed man was something good, something every woman supposedly dreamed of. Right now I wasn't so sure, if it was a good or bad thing. Sure, his cock felt nice, very nice, so soft and smooth, and the sight of it made me hunger for more than just a touch of my hand.

But seriously … How in the hell was this _thing_ going to fit inside me, without tearing me apart?

I knew that the first time was going to hurt, that was a given, no matter if it were with a vampire or a human. But in this case – losing my virginity – I was sure that size _really_ would make a difference … at least it was something to take into consideration.

But then again, I wasn't really afraid, more like overly anxious. I knew that Jasper wouldn't rush me, wouldn't force me to do anything until I was a hundred percent sure I was ready for it.

Jasper loved me, and I trusted him completely, that was all that mattered to me. He would never do anything to hurt me … intentionally or otherwise. I truly believed he would try his best to make this as painless and pleasurable as possible … given the circumstances … and I had no doubt that he would totally succeed with the pleasure part. But who knew, maybe his gift would come in handy regarding the other part. He surely would be able to sense any sign of pain, before I would even be able to voice it.

I walked over to the toilet where I had placed my clothes. I took my time getting dressed, not overly eager to leave this room yet.

Thinking about losing my virginity my mind suddenly went back to the day Angela had told me about her first time with Ben. I've always been a hopeless romantic when it came to love and sex, which was why I'd waited for so long to even consider taking this step. I've always wanted my first time to be perfect … like every girl …

* * *

_It was three months after Edward's departure. I was making noticeable progress, finally beginning to feel like myself again. Angela had played a big part in my recovery process, never pushing but always being there for me, in case I needed someone to talk to. I just hoped she thought the same about me._

_I've always liked her, but due to my blind obsession with THEM, I'd never taken the time to get to know her better. Fortunately, now things had changed._

_Over the past few weeks she and I had started to spend more and more time together outside of school … not every day but on a regular basis … mostly just hanging out, talking about a lot of things, but of course mostly avoiding a certain subject – the Cullens … and HIM in particular._

_Sometimes I helped her babysitting her younger twin brothers, and today was one of those days. Angela's parents were out on a date, which I thought was rather sweet. Seeing them still being very much in love after all those years made my heart melt and ache at the same time. Well maybe there was hope after all … even for me … to find the special someone, the one that sticks by you, no matter what._

_The little ones were already asleep, and Angela and I were currently launching on her bed, listening to some tunes and reading some girly magazines to pass the time until her parents would be back. We'd planned to go to the movies later._

_Angela leaned against the headboard, with her legs crossed, while I rested comfortably on my stomach on the far end of her bed. We were engrossed in our choice of literature for the evening, which I thought was hilarious, since we both normally didn't give much about any kind of gossip. But reading about the lives of movie stars and other celebrities, and even all those tips on all things beauty … well I had to admit they were kinda entertaining._

_Angela called my attention again. "Bella?" Her voice was too wary, too serious. It was very clear, that she was _not_ about to share another, hilarious piece of information with me, like she'd done a couple of times before. No, this time it was about something else._

_I lifted my head, looking up at her. "Yeah?"_

_Angela was biting her lip, frowning in contemplation, and then suddenly shaking her head vehemently. "Arghhh … just forget it. It's nothing." She said, waving her hand dismissively, and diverting her eyes back to the magazine in her hand._

"_No, Angela, you can't just do that. I know you want to ask me something. Just spit it out. What is it?" I encouraged her, not entirely sure I wanted to know what was on her mind. But I owed her the same courtesy she's always shown me._

_Angela sighed heavily. "It's about … ehm … Edward." She whispered HIS name, sneaking a peak at me from under her eyelashes to gauge my reaction. I flinched, but only a little. What she didn't know was that it actually didn't hurt that much anymore. Sure, HIS name and that of his family was still banned from my own home, but that was more Charlie's doing than mine … at least nowadays. In contrast to him, I never felt hate only pain and disappointment, like I was experiencing right now, when Angela mentioned HIS name. "I know you probably don't want to talk about him … and I totally understand … and of course you don't have to answer … but I've been wondering … have you and him … ehm …you know …" She trailed off, blushing. This was certainly one more trait we had in common._

_I knew what she was referring to, even without her putting it into actual words. In fact, I knew that a lot of my classmates had been wondering about the same thing. Did Edward Cullen pop Bella's cherry? I had heard them talking, or more like discussing the subject behind my back many times, even before THEIR departure, when I was still with HIM. The difference here was that Angela didn't ask because she needed to quench her thirst for all things gossip, like Jess or Lauren. No, I could sense another reason behind her question, which was probably why I was willing to answer her question in the first place._

"_No, we didn't have sex, if that's what you're asking." I grumbled, loud enough for her to hear though. I didn't mean to sound angry, but it was a sore subject for me._

"_Did you … did you not want to?" She asked, finally meeting my gaze._

_I pulled myself up, throwing the magazine on the floor, mirroring her sitting position, preparing myself for what I was sure would become a longer conversation. "Oh, of course I did." I said, scoffing. "HE was the one who didn't want to take our physical relationship further."_

"_Really?" She sounded so surprised, that I had to laugh._

"_Yeah, believe it or not, Edward is very old-fashioned. Actually, we didn't even make past first base." And even that we had barely managed without him losing control. Or so he'd claimed … always using the call of my blood and his strength as an excuse to stop things before they had even begun. Sure, I'd tolerated the other part of his reasoning. He'd been raised in a different era, with different moral standards. And I probably would have waited to have sex with him for as long as would have taken him to get ready to take this step. But what I still couldn't fathom was his unwillingness to have _any_ kind of sexual relationship before marriage. I knew there was still a teenager trapped inside his frozen body, a teenager with the same ragging hormone as I. But he'd never made a move, never even tried to get a feel. We could have taken things slow, testing our boundaries. I knew that his control was just as good as Carlisle's. Which made me wonder … and to be honest not for the first time … whether he had been interested in me that way at all. Maybe I wasn't attractive enough for him? Maybe my boobs should have been bigger? But maybe … just maybe he was gay? Well, this was a funny thought, but one I didn't put too much stock into. I was pretty sure that HE was not gay._

_But of course I couldn't tell Angela any of that, couldn't share any of my musings with her. It would raise too many questions, questions I wouldn't be able to answer._

"_Oh … then you are still a virgin?" She whispered the last part, glancing past me at her door, which was still open._

"_Does it bother you?" I chuckled, hopping of the bed. I closed the door quickly but silently, turning around to face her again. "Better?" I taunted her, making my way back to the bed._

"_Very funny, Bella! You seem to forget that my father is a cleric." She gave me a pointed look._

"_Of course, not. But they aren't here right now, are they?" I shot back._

"_Old habits die hard, I guess." Angela shrugged. I sniggered at her expression. I knew her parents weren't that strict. They had been okay with Angela's and Ben's relationship. But I guessed that she wasn't quite comfortable talking about sex with them around. Hell, even I hadn't been quite comfortable talking to my Mom about this subject all those years ago, and she was a true free spirit._

_I retook my place at the end of her bed. "So what brought this on? Your sudden interest in my sexual status, I mean." I requested, watching her reaction very closely. Her blush renewed, and suddenly it dawned on me. She had asked for one specific reason and one reason only … to compare notes. "Oh, my God. You and Ben …" I gasped, clapping a hand over my mouth. Now I understood her weird behavior, her reason for having me close the door. Dating was one thing, but having sex before marriage … wow we really were two peas in a pod._

"_Nothing gets by you." Angela remarked dryly. She didn't even realize how right she was with that assessment. But what she didn't know was that my power of observation didn't always work into my favor. I had learned that the hard way._

"_When?" I pressed with some care, trying not to sound too nosy. I knew they had broken up last summer, shortly before my disastrous birthday party. They hadn't made a big deal out of it, no big fighting scenes at the school. It almost seemed like their separation was of a mutual kind. Now I wasn't so sure anymore._

"_It happened only once … after Tyler's birthday party in August." She admitted, keeping her eyes down, nervously playing with her fingers, like she was waiting for my judgment._

"_How … how was it?"_

"_Mostly awkward … and it hurt … a lot. More than I'd imagined it would. Maybe it was we both were a little drunk and we certainly didn't know what we were doing." She said, shrugging. She sounded more clinical about it, than anything else. My heart went out for her. "But I think it had more to do that we weren't really ready … and least I know I wasn't."_

"_Then why …" I demanded, shocking myself more than her with the tone of voice. "I'm sorry, Angela. I don't mean to judge you or anything."_

_She gave me a small, honest smile. "It's okay, Bella. After all it's a valid question. And I'm glad to have someone to talk about it … finally. I could hardly go to my mother. I'm sure she would freak out, if she knew._

"_Anyway … at the time I thought I kinda had to … don't get me wrong he didn't force me or anything, not really. But you know how guys can get, when they really want something. He was quite persuasive in a cute, boyish kind of way, and I loved him, so I thought why not. It wasn't completely bad … well aside from the initial pain … but to tell the truth it wasn't what I'd expected. It wasn't special."_

"_Did you …I mean did he … you know?" I just couldn't say it._

"_Make me come?" Angela filled in the blanks, suddenly losing all her earlier inhibitions. I nodded, grinning._

"_No … that stupid looser didn't know what he was doing half the time. I'm sure he didn't even know where my clitoris was. It was all over before it'd even begun." She complained, and we both giggled … like normal teenage girls. This sharing thing was certainly a new experience for me, and apparently for Angela as well. I moved to her side, throwing my arm around my friend's shoulder. She leaned into me, allowing me to hold and comfort her._

"_Is this why you'd broken up?" I had to ask._

"_It's only part of the reason. After that disastrous first time, of course he wanted to do it again but I told him no. He claimed he understood, that he was willing to give me more time, but I didn't believe him. Two weeks later after many more attempts to get me into his bed again I broke with _him_._

"_Well, you are probably wondering why everything went down so smooth … given that he is a boy and everything … but you have to know that I made it _very_ clear, that if he told any tall tales about our breakup, I would make sure that everybody, and I mean everybody in our school would know how tiny his penis is. Working at the school paper does have its perks, I guess." She chuckled, wickedly. "I think he got the message. And deep down I think he knew we wouldn't have lasted anyway … come on what with all the different interests we had. I'm telling you, I'm so glad I don't have to listen to him nagging about some stupid ninja movie. It was tiresome … at best."_

_I was stunned. Who knew Angela had it in her? She was always the quiet, shy girl in school, but apparently underneath it she really was a force to be reckoned with. She had quite the spirit. I was in awe of her inner strength, but not really sure if it wasn't just a front. We didn't know each other that well. "But you are okay now? I mean with all that'd happened?"_

_Angela moved around in order to face me. "Yes, Bella, I am, I truly am." She smiled warmly. I could tell from the look on her face that she was touched by my words, by my thoughtfulness. "Thanks for your concern. It means a lot. You are a good friend … my best friend actually. And I'm glad to have you, not only to share things like that with you of course, but I'm glad I finally got it of my chest."_

_I grabbed her hand and squeezed it in recognition, thus showing her that my feelings were mutual. "I guess that what true friends are for." I teased._

"_Yes. But sometimes it is a friend's job to say things you might not want to hear. I know you are still hurting, and I get it. Edward was your first love and he broke your heart. Been there, done that. You'll get over it." She said. Her words seemed to be harsh, but she didn't sound cold and detached at all. If anything she sounded really mature, using almost the same words like my mother had a couple of weeks ago. The effect was just the same. It wasn't a lecture, just a friendly advice._

_Angela took a deep breath, before she continued. "Anyhow … just be grateful you hadn't gone any further with you-know-who. Someone like him isn't worth of such a gift … God that sounds cheesy … but it's true. I wish I'd waited … for the right one." She sighed. "But what's done is done. And I have faith that we both will find someone, who's just right for us."_

* * *

I pulled myself out of my memory, smiling at my image in the mirror. Angela was just as romantic as me when it came to love. Her first love was just as disappointing as mine, but she had never given up hope. I just hoped that she would get as lucky as me and find someone to complement her as much as Jasper did me. She certainly deserved to be this happy.

After that day Angela and I hadn't revisited this particular subject again … not in greater detail anyway. Whenever the subject of former boyfriends did come up, in some way or another, I've always had to tell half truths. It was hard for me. I hated lying and I knew I wasn't good at it. And it always made me feel like I was betraying her trust. Angela had shown me a great deal of trust in telling me something this private. But I knew I had to do it, in order to keep her save.

Angela had easily managed to fill the void Alice had left behind. To tell the truth she has proven to be a better friend than Alice ever was. I have been aware of this fact even before I knew what she'd done to Jasper. Angela was always there for me, to comfort me or to kick my ass. She always seemed to know what I needed, without acting all controlling. She called me perceptive, but she was just as insightful. I knew it had nothing to do that she was a human and Alice a vampire. It was their personalities that set them apart, not their natures.

Like Ben was Angela's, Edward was my first everything … my first boyfriend, the first one who'd told me 'I love you' and the first who'd broken my heart, making me feel unworthy, unwanted.

_Congratulation! Job well done …_

Before Jasper, Edward had been the first man I had been attracted to in a sexual way. I thought it was kinda funny, but no human had ever had the same effect on me. Sure, I'd had a crush on a boy or two back in Phoenix, but nothing serious. Maybe it was weird, but then again, with what I knew now it was obvious that I was always destined to end up with a vampire … just not the one I'd thought.

Edward had given me my first kiss, but he'd never gone further than that. He had claimed that it was too dangerous, which was probably why he hadn't even dared to kiss me properly in the first place.

_Dangerous my ass …_ I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Jasper had just proven that it was very much possible for a vampire to have a sexual relationship with a human without causing irreparable damage.

Jasper never showed any sign of fear or reservation, whenever he kissed or touched me. Although, I was pretty sure he did hold back to some extent, simply out of necessity, human versus vampire strength and all that, but he always let me know how much he desired me … with his gift as well as his actions. And well let's just say that my teenage hormones had gone through the roof since the first time we'd kissed.

Things certainly had changed for the better … rapidly, irrevocably. It had taken only one kiss, and I knew Jasper was the one I wanted to be with, was destined to be with. I could feel that even before I'd known about us being soul mates. I wanted to be his, all the way. And I was ready, if not eager, to take that step with him. I've never been gladder for Edward's restraint as I was right now, because when I finally would have sex for the first time it would be with someone I truly love. And frankly, I've never wanted Edward the way I wanted Jasper. I literally ached for his touch, his kisses, him.

But more importantly Jasper had proven to me that I was worth it … worth waiting for, worth fighting for, worth changing for … in one word: worth everything.

I should have believed him the first time he'd tried to tell me that, but apparently back then I wasn't ready to hear it. Maybe the time hadn't been right, or the circumstance. Or maybe at the time I'd wanted to hear those exact words from someone else.

_Whatever the reason was … it doesn't matter anymore._

I was finally fully dressed and ready to leave the bathroom. There wasn't much I could do about my hair, running my fingers through it didn't help much to disentangle the mess. I flattened it as best as I could. It had to do.

And why should I care what they would think of me or my relationship with Jasper anyway? I was a grown woman. I was mature enough to make my own decision, thank you very much. I'd had enough of people telling me what do in the past. I was so past that.

I had no idea how they would react. Rose and I had never been close to begin with. It wasn't that I didn't like her; I just hadn't had the chance to get to know her. Just like it had been with Jasper. But after reading the letter she had left behind for him, I had seen a different side of her, one she had never shown to me, and I hoped that she would be as accepting as Peter and Charlotte. Since she has been the closest to Jasper, she should be able to see how happy he was now, shouldn't she?

Emmett, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. Next to Edward and Alice he had been the one I'd felt the closest to. From the very beginning he had acted like true older brother, constantly making fun of me and my weird human ways ( his words not mine), but at the same time he was capable of showing fierce protectiveness like that time when James had decided to make me his next challenge.

There was no front when it came to Emmett. He'd always been true to his feelings. He laughed when he was happy, he pouted when he wasn't getting his way. It was safe to say that I'd missed him dearly. And I had taken his disappearance just as bad as Edward's or Alice's, maybe even more so. Somehow I knew that he would be harder to convince than his wife.

But then again, what did it matter? It wasn't like I was seeking their approval. I didn't owe them anything, no explanation, no justification. They didn't even deserve my usual fast forgiveness. _They_ had left _me_, not the other way around. Rationally I knew that we were in need of their help, at least concerning the werewolf problem. But I was sure that Jasper and Peter would have no problem to take care of Laurent all by themselves.

Sure, I had no right to order them away in case they would decide to act up. After all it was their house, not mine. But I was ready to fight, to stand my ground. Silly, immature Bella was no more. I would show them how much I've changed.

But whatever would happen next, one thing was for sure. Jasper and I, we belonged together, end of story. No one would be able to get between us.

With that in mind, I squared my shoulders and exited the bathroom. I could hear Jasper and Rose talking downstairs, but I couldn't make out the words. Damn vampires, couldn't they use a normal volume, making it easier for the human to eavesdrop? Apparently not. But at least there was no shouting … yet. I didn't know whether I should take comfort in that fact or not. Somehow this made me uneasy. It felt like the calm before the storm.

I tiptoed down the hall towards the staircase, in order to get closer, but not yet ready to show myself. I would wait for the right moment.

* * *

**A/N I had to end here, sorry, I know you guys are more than anxious to see how the reunion will proceed. But somehow I am a little stuck with the next part and I thought to give you at least something, since it has been already a month since the last update. But this chapter has its purpose. Angela will play a bigger role in the near future.**

**I promise next chapter will be longer again, and just be prepared for some more drama.**


	25. Not an easy start

**A/N yes, I know I'm late, very late and I'm so sorry. But writing this chapter was truly hard; I got stuck at various points. And I wasn't sure which POV I should use, so I'd decided to switch. I hope I got it right this time.**

**So without any further delay, I give you what you've all been waiting for, the reunion of Jasper, Bella, Rose and Em … with Peter and Char thrown into the mix of course.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 25 Not an easy start

_A few minutes earlier … outside of the Cullen mansion …_

Rose POV

There were two vehicles parked in the overgrown driveway … a rusty, old truck, blocking the entrance to the garage, and a black Mercedes. Emmett pulled in behind the latter. For a moment I wondered which one belonged to Jasper. My money was on the Mercedes. It wasn't the newest model, but it was definitely in much better shape than the truck.

As soon as Emmett stopped the engine, I was out, instantly followed by my mate.

"You just go ahead, I'll get the luggage." Emmett offered, already popping up the trunk.

And I did what he'd said, quickly grabbing my bag containing all my personal items from the backseat, and then I made my way into the house.

Jasper stood in the middle of the room, clearly awaiting our arrival … almost like a bellboy or a receptionist in a hotel, only dressed inappropriately. Don't get me wrong, he looked more like himself again, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, instead of the fancy pants and shirts Alice had forced upon him. This right here was the real Jasper, the one I'd missed the most, even before we'd left this town last September. And somehow I got the feeling that it wasn't just the change of clothes that made him look like that. There was something else; I just didn't know what it was … at least not yet anyway.

"Nice ride outside. Yours?" I asked. I knew it wasn't my best opening line, but it was the first thing that came to mind, feeling I needed some sort of an icebreaker. I dropped my bag on the floor, carefully though, bearing in mind that it contained something quite fragile, a laptop. I took a quick glance around the room. It had been only six months, since we'd left this house and it should feel like coming home, but unfortunately it didn't. Instead I was having this strange, eerie feeling of misplacement. Too many bad things happened here, things that had triggered so many changes, changes that couldn't be reversed. Though I truly loved this house, I knew I could never call this my home again.

My gaze finally went back to Jasper, who was shifting uncomfortably, giving off some very weird vibes. He was tense, too tense for my liking. Was he hiding something from me? Or did he just not know how to act around me?

"Well hello to you too, I suppose." He said, with a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. "No, it's not mine. It's Charlotte's new baby."

I decided to simply ignore his weird attitude and his snippy comment, and just threw myself at him, laughing. I was so happy to see him again, and I couldn't contain myself any longer. I was glad when he finally relaxed into my hug, enveloping me in a cocoon of his own joy. I was relieved to find out that his feelings were mutual, despite his first reaction. I drew in a deep breath, the first one since I'd entered the house.

Without the constant need for oxygen, of course I hadn't noticed it before. What a huge mistake on my part! But there it was … the strange but yet very familiar scent, not only clinging on pretty much every inch of my brother's skin, but polluting the air in the room, maybe even the entire house.

_Bella fucking Swan … you've gotta be kidding …_

I couldn't believe that I'd missed any of it before … the steady heartbeat and breathing of the human girl upstairs, the hum of the fridge, or the faint residual stench of human food … all of those tiny but unmistakable indicators, hinting to one thing.

Bella was here, right now. I growled slightly … more out of habit than anything else. I wasn't angry, more like a little irritated, and maybe a little disappointed, but mostly I was surprised. What was she doing here? And why in the heck was her scent all over Jasper?

I disentangled myself, taking a deliberate step back. The sheepish look on Jasper's face provided me with some needed answers. Right then I was one-hundred-percent sure he knew what I'd just discovered. His facial expression was pretty priceless.

_Yes, my dear brother … you are _so_ busted …_

So this was it? This was the thing he'd been trying to hide from me? Was this the reason why he acted so strangely? Jasper looked at me, rather anxiously, like he was expecting me to freak out. Perhaps I would have, if it wasn't for the happiness I could detect in his eyes. I took in another breath. Yes her scent was strong, which meant she had been here for quite some time. And there was something else. I could distinctly smell the evidence of sex.

_Oh, my … he didn't, did he? Oh, this just too good to be true …Edward would flip if he knew … not that I am going to tell him … but I am tempted …_

"So, Jasper, my dear brother. Is there _anything_ you want to tell me?" I coaxed, smirking. From the look on his face, I could tell he clearly wasn't expecting me to remain this calm.

Unfortunately Jasper didn't get the chance to answer my question, because my husband chose this exact moment to make his appearance in the house. Emmett dropped our bags carelessly by the door. He was just lucky I wasn't as obsessed as Alice when it came to my possessions, otherwise he would have never done anything like that … once maybe, but not a second time.

"Hey, bro. What have I missed?" Emmett exclaimed excitedly.

_Apparently a lot, honey …_ I thought to myself, stifling the chuckle that threatened to escape my lips. I plopped myself on the couch, waiting for this show to run its course. _This is going to be so much fun …_

I knew exactly why I kept my mouth shut. For one … it certainly wasn't my place to tell Emmett about Jasper's involvement with Bella, whatever it was. I wasn't vindictive like that pixie wife of his. Like Alice had said they were never meant to be together … not as mates, so in my opinion he wasn't cheating or anything along that line. But more importantly … this task of telling my mate required a certain amount of finesse … which I lacked. I wasn't the sensitive type, but Jasper was. Hopefully, his gift would come in handy here. I was pretty sure he would need it. I had the feeling that Emmett wasn't going to be as accepting as me.

* * *

Jasper POV

I'd barely paid Emmett any attention since he'd entered the room, keeping my main focus on my sister. Her silence was starting to freak me out. I knew perfectly well that she knew that Bella was here, but it became clearer with each passing second that she wasn't planning on saying anything about it. I didn't know if I should be glad that she didn't just rat me out to my brother, or not. Probably, I should. But then again I could clearly sense her amusement combined with a dose of mischief. She was up to _something_.

Rose studiously ignored my inquiring stare, instead looking around the room like she's never been here before. Well, sure, it had changed since the last time she'd been here. Back then she'd called this place her home. But now it was just an almost empty house, a mere memory. It was kinda sad.

My sister's eyes finally settled on the spot on the wall I'd thrown Peter in the other day. My brother had placed the material he'd picked up today for the damage repair right underneath the crack. It was quite a lot of stuff, more than we would actually need to fix this minor damage.

"I see you still haven't found the time to fix it? What … was there something more important you needed to take care of?" She asked offhandedly, but her emotions told a different story. The bitch was taunting me. I swallowed a growl, giving her a glare as an answer instead. "And by the way … you haven't told me how that happened?" She looked at me with her eyebrows raised.

I didn't get the change to answer any of her questions, because Peter beat me to the punch. "Can't you tell from its shape? That's where the Major had thrown my sorry ass in." He informed my sister, strolling into the house, like he fucking owned the place. Charlotte entered the house right behind him. From the looks of it they had been through the woods, literally, and probably on all fours. Yikes. I so didn't want the image of my siblings doing the deed in my head right now. More than once I'd seen quite more of them than I'd liked (and of Rose and Emmett as well). I shook my head to rid myself of those disturbing thoughts, locking my gaze with Peter's.

_Thanks jerk, for making it sound like I'd done it unjustified … but perfect timing, though …_

Peter winked at me, obviously sensing my sort-of gratitude, but completely ignoring my grimace of annoyance. It was probably for the best right now.

Having him and Char around for the big revelation could certainly be beneficial. As far as I could tell, Rose wasn't going to be a problem. She was in the loop already, and didn't seem to have a problem with Bella being here, although she was still radiating a lot of curiosity about the details. But Emmett … well let's just say it could get dicey.

I hadn't noticed it before, but Peter was holding a brown paper bag and one of those to-go-cups with something that smelt like coffee in his hands. Apparently they had made a pit-stop at some coffee shop, to pick up something for _my_ mate before making their return to the house.

_This has to stop. It is my job to take care of her._ I groaned internally. But for now I decided to let this matter slide. _One problem at the time …_

Charlotte flitted over to Rose's side and they hugged fiercely. "It's nice to finally see you again." They both exclaimed at the same time, causing them to start giggling like school girls.

Emmett's and Peter's greeting went over quite differently of course … only a manly pat on the back and a quick 'hello'. But apart from that, they all were feeling the same, happiness and elation, and a certain need to quench their curiosity.

"What's with the human food, dude? Did you change your diet?" Emmett joked, eying the items Peter held in his hand.

"Hardly," Peter snorted, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "This isn't for me; it's for the little lady."

"Who?" Emmett asked, confusion written all over his face. He still hadn't sensed Bella's presence in the house. I wouldn't go so far as calling my brother dense, but sometimes he was a little slow. But then again, even Rose hadn't picked up Bella's scent right away.

True, as vampires we did have very keen senses. We could hear a pin drop in a room of thousand people talking and music on at full volume; we could smell how slightest hormonal change did have an effect on the scent of a human's blood standing a few yards away … the list goes on and on. Too a human our abilities might be incredibly fascinating, maybe even something to envy, but to a vampire it both a blessing and a curse. As predators we did need those keen senses. They did help us hunt (our natural or non-natural prey), and they always worked as a sort of defense mechanism, to warn us in time whenever another of our kind was near.

But the constant strain on all of our senses could be quite exhausting, sometimes even nauseating. Especially in the first days after the change the onslaught of stimuli was very confusing, downright scary even. But with time and practice we'd all learned to tune out certain things, concentrating only on the most important sensations. It was definitely easier to accomplish this task in times of peace and quiet.

Considering our different upbringing, Peter, Char and I continued to be on our guard, paying close attention to everything that went on around us, always ready to act accordingly. It was hard to change a habit like that one, not that we would want to anyway. 'Better safe than sorry' that was our motto. Maybe this was reason why we'd managed to stay alive for so long in the first place … who knew.

But try as we might, we weren't perfect. There were times when we got too damn distracted … and well certain things could slip our notice. But that happened rarely, at least to me … and before Bella, that was. Being around her made me lose focus, especially whenever she was touching me.

But right here and now, I knew I had to pay extra attention. Yes, Bella was alone upstairs, but that didn't mean that I'd left her _alone_. All I had to do was splitting my focus in order to keep a close watch on my mate's emotions, while doing the same with Rose and Emmett down here.

Bella seemed to be doing fine on her own, as far as I could tell. Not for the first time, I had a little trouble to pinpoint her emotional mood exactly. She still continued to close off her emotions from me … even now, knowing that we were mates and all that. But somehow I got the impression that she didn't always do this on purpose, like she wasn't having any real control over her gift … not yet anyway. This was why I wasn't mad at her for doing this yet again, and under these particular circumstances, because I knew she trusted and loved me without reservation.

But even though I couldn't solely rely on my special gift, I still had my other senses to work for me. By now I was so accustomed to her breathing rhythm and the sound of her heartbeat, that it was easy tell what she was up to or how she was feeling, even though I wasn't with her in the physical sense.

So of course, I'd noticed right away when Bella had left the bathroom, walking on her tiptoes down the hall, trying her best to be stealthy, but of course failing completely. And I was fully aware of the fact that my beautiful mate was right up the stairs, waiting in the hallway, hiding from sight, but listening in to our conversation. I was pretty sure that she's barely caught on a word, since we were speaking to low for her human ears. Well that was before Emmett opened his mouth.

So it really wasn't a surprise … at least not for me or Peter or Char … that Bella chose the moment Emmett asked his question about her identity to make her appearance at the top of the stairs.

"Me." The sound of my angel's voice rang through the entire room, and all eyes immediately went to her. She was a vision of beauty and strength, walking down the stairs with her shoulders square and her head high. _My mate. _She was truly magnificent. There was no nervousness in her eyes, only determination … and when she looked at me, I could see love … and a great amount of lust.

_Mine …_ My feet moved on their own accord, closing the distance between me and Bella.

Then I heard a gasp and more than one chuckle coming from behind me, causing me to freeze on spot, still a few feet away from the staircase. I didn't want to take my eyes of my mate, but I knew I had to actually see what was going on behind me. There were too many emotions swirling around making it nearly impossible to get a clear picture. So I turned around, very reluctantly though, away from my mate.

Peter and Char wore matching grins on their face. Even Rose was smiling slightly. Her emotions hadn't changed since the first moment she'd realized Bella was here. She was still very curious about the circumstances, which was to be expected. But to my surprise there wasn't even a smidgen of animosity, no feelings of resentment coming from her. If anything she seemed to be a little proud of Bella's cool behavior and this reaction was definitely something I hadn't expected coming from my sister, considering that she didn't seem to have many positive feelings about Bella in the past. Beside Emmett, Rose always had been the easiest person to read around the Cullen clan. She was like an open book, not known for holding back her true feelings, or her thoughts. Edward would agree with me on that. Rose could be annoyingly straightforward, but it was part of her charm. Anyhow … I'd understood her reasons, hell I'd even shared her point of view on many of them back then, but now things have changed … for me, and apparently for Rose as well.

"Bella." Emmet managed to choke out. Of course the single gasp of surprise earlier had come from him. He stared at my mate in shock, open-mouthed, like he was trying to say something else, but didn't know how or what. Many emotions ran over his face. Shock was the most prominent one, quickly followed by guilt. And there was longing, a lot of it. I could feel his struggle, his indecision. I knew he wanted nothing more than to pull her into one of his legendary bear-hugs, apologize and move on from there. But at the same time he was afraid that she might not want to, that she might resent him.

I turned around again. Bella had finally reached the bottom on the staircase. "Emmett, Rose … nice to see you again." She greeted my siblings politely, gracing them with an equal polite smile, one that didn't reach her beautiful brown eyes. Then she averted her gaze, looking anywhere but at Emmett or his wife.

"Likewise." Rose replied with a smirk in her voice. Emmett on the other hand was anything but amused. Strong waves of disappointment and sadness hit me. It was a reasonable reaction on his part, considering his favorite little sister showed him the cold shoulder. He clearly hadn't been expecting this. But then again, did he actually think she would just forget everything, and act like nothing had happened? Why should he fare better than me?

I tried my best to fight off his feelings, before they could overwhelm me. Instead I concentrated on my mate's emotions. True, Bella was acting all cool, calm and collected, but I could sense that's all it was … an act. Deep inside Bella was nervous as hell, but she definitely did her best not to show it. I'd never pictured her as a good actress, but I had to admit she could have fooled even me with that indifferent look on her face.

Peter seemed to sense the tension in the room and decided it was time to step in. His intention was clear. He wanted to lighten the mood for everybody's sake, but mostly he was concerned about Bella. "Hey there, little pigeon, I've brought you something." He moved past me, holding out his gifts for her, grinning like a fool. "I'd thought you might need it, what with the all the _action_ today."

Bella was blushing slightly, but decided to overlook my brother's innuendo. She took a last step forward to close the gap between herself and my brother, graciously accepting Peter's offerings. She moaned, after taking a sniff at the beverage in the cup. That sound went straight to my groin.

_So not the right time …_ I cautioned myself. Getting a boner right there and then wouldn't be very helpful, now would it?

"Ah, Peter. You've brought me my favorite coffee." She took a sip, and then she opened the paper bag and smiled. "And blueberry muffins too. Thanks, you are the best."

"You hear that, Char. I'm the best." Peter gloated, glancing over to the couch where Charlotte and Rosalie were still sitting comfortably.

"Yeah, yeah … don't let this go to your head, honey. Seriously Bella, you have to stop stroking his ego, it is big enough as it is." Char groaned in exasperation, toping that with a roll of her eyes, causing Bella to giggle. Their little banter clearly had a positive effect on my mate's mood. She began to relax a little more. Probably exactly what Peter had intended.

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that already." Bella stated. This time Rose joined into the round of light laughter that followed. Emmett, Peter and I were the only ones who didn't find this funny … but for different reasons though.

"Hey. This is so not the way to treat your food provider." Peter complained.

Bella sniggered again at his choice of words, but sobering up, when she took in the pout on my brother's face. Her emotions told me she wasn't completely fooled, but felt the need to apologize anyway. "I'm sorry, Peter. Of course, I'm grateful that you look out for me … bringing me food and everything." Then she placed her hands on his arm, using it as leverage to pull herself up on her tiptoes, only to place a quick, gentle kiss on Peter's cheek.

* * *

Peter POV

Never in my wildest though nonexistent dreams had I expected Bella to do something like that. Truly, this girl never ceased to amaze me, or any one of us for that matter. The amount of faith this mere human had in our restraint was really something else. And I was going to do everything in my power to show her that her faith wasn't misplaced, and I was sure so was my mate. Bella was too damn important to all of us, not just to Jasper.

There was no sign of hesitation or fear or revulsion when she touched me. But then again, I would have been very surprised if she'd actually shown a reaction like that. She was obviously so used to the 'slight' temperature difference by now, that she didn't show any sort of reaction at all, like she didn't even notice it anymore. We were just people to her, not bloodthirsty, crazed predators.

_Weird … but I am not going to complain or anything. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth and all that …_

Her lack of response to my icy touch made complete sense though, considering the fact that she has been involved with my kind for quite some time now, touching and all. And not to mention the fact that she quite obviously had been starting to get _really_ physical with my brother … probably only seconds after Char and I had left the house earlier. It was about time. The sexual tension between those two lovebirds has been palpable, and strong, and _very_ catching, which was why I'd taken my mate for a little private shag in the woods. Not that we needed the extra boost, but it was nice just the same.

But evidently I had been the only one of us who had gotten lucky, the only one who'd scored so to speak … twice, I might add.

It was easy to tell that Bella and Jasper had been interrupted (hopefully not mid-coitus). He was way too tense, a clear sign of his sexual frustration. Poor bastard! Jasper really was in need of some release, and I wasn't talking about the kind he found this morning. No what he needed was a real good fucking session, one that lasted hours and then some. I had a feeling though she was still human and therefore not as durable as a vampire that Bella would be up to the challenge.

Anyway … at least he had gotten Bella off in time. But then again that was standard procedure for us Whitlock men; we always made sure that our mates came first, before we allowed ourselves to do the same.

I was pretty certain that Bella would be quite embarrassed if she knew what I knew. Aside from the slight glow on her face, I could smell her scent all over him, and I was sure so could every other vampire in the room … well maybe except for Emmett. He seemed to be the only one who still wasn't up to date, considering the permanent confused and slightly strained look on his face.

The warmth of Bella's skin against mine, when she laid her tiny hand on my bare arm was incredible. But that was nothing compared to the feeling of her soft, warm lips against the cool, hard surface of my face. The sensation was very, _very_ pleasurable … though not in a sexual way. But still, I couldn't stop myself from closing my eyes for a second, and letting out a low sigh of pure contentment.

Major fucking faux pas on both accounts … Bella's peculiar choice to show her affection and gratitude and then my lapse in self-control … especially right here and now. The atmosphere in the room has been strained enough before but our recent actions made things worse … and fast.

Sure rationally, Jasper knew that there was no need to be jealous, but when it came to our mates … well let's just say that all reason could go out the window in a matter of seconds, and for no good reason to begin with. So it was no big surprise that Jasper's possessiveness got the better of him. He crouched and growled in warning, telling me to back off, to let go of his mate. And it wasn't a low growl this time, and unfortunately not the only one. The second growl came from Emmett, and his wasn't directed at me.

Then all hell broke loose. Before Bella could comprehend what was going on, Emmett jumped Jasper, pulling him further away from her and me, clearly misreading Jasper's growl for what it was. Emmett only managed to get a grip on our brother and throw across the room, because Jasper hadn't seen it coming. His focus had been on me and his mate.

I had barely enough time to pull Bella out of the way, but I managed to do so, even without making her drop the coffee cup or the muffin in the process. It would have been a shame, especially after what I'd had to endure in that awful stinking coffee shop.

Jasper slammed back first into the wall on the opposite side of the room, very close to the spot I'd landed in the other day. The crack in the wall wasn't hard to miss. I knew getting more material than actually necessary wouldn't be a waste of money. Well, I didn't know _know_, but I did have a hunch. Call it intuition, or experience, whatever. But to tell the truth, I hadn't anticipated this to happen, or at least I'd hoped that something like this could have been avoided.

But we were nowhere perfect. Hence the situation we were in right now … with Jasper currently pinned by his throat by the hand of his own brother. Snarls of anger rang through the room. But oddly Jasper didn't even try to free himself. Yes, Emmett was probably the strongest of us all, physically speaking, but he still was no match for the Major.

To my surprise Bella quickly caught on what was happening around her. She struggled against my hold, desperately trying to get to Jasper. I could sympathize with her, watching your mate in danger was hard to bear. But what could she do? She was just human. Char flitted to my side, in case I needed help to restrain Bella, which of course I didn't. Rose on the other hand hadn't moved an inch from her seat on the couch. She was merely watching, probably knowing that her interference could make things worse. She shot me a fleeting look, asking me without words what we should or shouldn't do. I shook my head minutely, and she caught my drift. This was between Jasper and Emmett … and Bella.

When she realized that I wouldn't budge, Bella turned her head to give me a glare that would put Medusa to shame. Wow, I've never expected to see a look like that on that pretty, angelic face of hers. It kinda reminded me of Jasper's expression just before he would kill somebody … cold and determined, but still fucking beautiful in its glory.

_Looks like the God of War has truly found his Goddess …_ I mused.

"Let go of me, Peter." She commanded in a calm, but unrelenting tone. _And she sounds just like him, too …_

I knew better than to argue, and loosened my hold on her at once. Apart from the consistent stream of snarls and growls still coming from both Emmett and Jasper, the situation was under control. They didn't beat the crap out of each other, in fact they didn't move at all. Rose's, Char's and my non-interference might have something to do with it. Apparently our combined calmness was fuelling Jasper's own thereby helping him to stay focused and not lose his temper after all. I still didn't get it why he didn't just free himself, showing Emmett who was in charge around here, but then again who was I to question the Major's motives.

Bella stepped out of my embrace, and turned around to face me. "Thanks. Here," Bella shoved the cup of coffee and the muffin into my hands, "Please, hold them for me. I want to finish them later." She said calmly, with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Sweetie, please be careful." Char cautioned.

Bella gave my mate a curt nod and a small smile as an answer, and then she turned away from us. "She'll be fine." I whispered into my wife's ear. I was curious to see what she was going to do. But at the same time I was prepared to pull her away if things wouldn't go as planned.

Bella took in a deep breath, to steady herself, and then she walked over to Emmett and Jasper with the same confidence I had seen a couple of times before. She was truly magnificent. There was no fear, only purpose. She was truly worthy to be the Major's mate.

Bella stopped a few feet behind them, keeping a safe distance, just in case. _Smart girl …_

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Emmett? Get the hell away from him!" Bella demanded.

* * *

**A/N Please don't be mad at me for stopping here. This is just the first part. I had to split this chapter into two. Hopefully the second part will be out soon.**

**And a little but certainly interesting side note … my story is currently being translated into Portuguese by GRAZY LUTS. For those of you that speak Portuguese, please go and check it out, and leave her some love. I'm sure she is doing a great job. This got me thinking. Does anyone want to read my story in German? Send me a PM, and let me know.**


	26. Open mouth, insert foot

**A/N wow we are sooooo close to one thousand reviews. I don't know what to say, I'm not complaining or anything, but I've never dared to hope that this story would attract so many loyal readers. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, and showing patience when I take longer to update.**

**Now back to the story, I know you are excited to find out if Bella is going to rip Emmett a new one or not.**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 26 Open mouth, insert foot

Jasper POV

I had my reasons why I didn't fight against Emmett's hold.

True he was physically stronger than me, but he lacked my fighting expertise. Even with the moves I'd shown him over the years he still had nothing on me. Needless to say but he hasn't been very receptive to my teachings, always insisting to relay on his physical strength rather than to put some effort into learning some new tricks. He probably didn't even realize how lucky he actually was, never having any reason to obtain any serious tactical and fighting skills to assure his very own survival (and that of his loved ones), not like us Whitlocks. In the past, fighting with me always had been just for the fun of it, to release some pent up energy.

But this was not the case right now. He meant business … well sort of. Emmett's grip around my neck was tight but not really painful, at least not to someone like me. Good thing we didn't have to breathe, though, because he put enough pressure on my windpipe to crush it.

Of course I could have freed myself with a simple move but I didn't. I knew it would have made things worse, if I'd fought back. I didn't know how I managed to fight my instincts, or to fool Emmett in letting him believe that I yielded to his authority, but I was glad it was working … so far. I did my best to keep my own feelings under control, pushing calm into him, as much as I was able to conjure up, but only enough to keep him at bay.

I didn't want to sedate him, because I still needed excess to his emotions. His anger was potent but it was overshadowed by the strength of his guilt and his desire to protect, and of course his wish to atone for what he'd done to my mate by abandoning her.

_Good start, bro, attacking her mate … that will get you back in her good graces …_

The poor bastard still had no idea what was going on, which was probably a good thing and part of the reason I let him manhandle me in the first place. But first and foremost I didn't want a repeat performance from the other day. I didn't want to put my mate in danger of getting hurt … yet again. Once was enough.

But maybe I deserved this treatment after all.

Of course I should have known there was no reason for acting all jealous. Peter would never betray me or his mate for that matter. The kiss was all Bella's doing. Peter had been just as surprised as everybody else in the room. His ensuing feelings had been the reason why I'd snapped. I just couldn't help myself. My possessiveness had gotten the better of me, and I'd acted on impulse.

_Nobody touches my mate like that but me …_

Now, being trapped between the wall and Emmett, I made a mental note to talk to Bella later, when we would have a minute to ourselves. She needed to know that she couldn't do things like that. Surely she thought of it as a harmless gesture, but it wasn't … not for me, or any other mated male vampire.

Given the circumstances, it was probably a blessing that I hadn't had the chance to claim her yet otherwise my reaction wouldn't have been so tame. I would have done more than just growling … much more. And no one would have been able to stop me from expressing my wrath.

Yes, I needed to talk to her and soon. I needed to explain the rules, so to speak. Knowing that she didn't like to be told what to do or what to quit, I knew I had to choose my words very, _very_ carefully.

I wasn't planning on replacing Edward. Yes, I would guard her with my life, but I wouldn't hover, wouldn't try to control her. She had proven more than once that she was stronger than she appeared. She was smart enough to make the right choices. And I trusted her.

But nevertheless, she needed to know what she was getting herself into by mating with a vampire. We were possessive SOB's when it came to our mates. Even though I'd never experienced it for myself before, I just knew that there was nothing more important to a mated vampire than the safety of his mate, because that's how I felt about her.

True when I'd been with Alice I would have fought as well, because I'd cared about her.

But this, this bond I had with Bella was something else entirely, so much stronger, running deeper. I would kill thousands to ensure her wellbeing without feeling regret. I would do anything to make her happy. I was hers, undeniably and irrevocably hers. And she was mine. The love I felt for her was already so strong and overwhelming, and I knew our connection would only deepen after the mating … and even more so after her change.

_I can hardly wait … for either one of them to come to pass …_

Now that she'd gotten a first taste of what was in store for her, I only hoped that my possessive behavior wouldn't drive her away. I knew as long as she was still human she wouldn't truly understand the concept of vampire mating, what it truly meant. But after today and 'the talk' at least she would be prepared for the similar reaction next time.

* * *

Although I was glad that my brother had reacted quickly, grabbing hold of my mate before she could throw herself between me and Emmett, I didn't like seeing her restrained by him or anyone else. And apparently my mate wasn't thrilled about that either.

"Let go of me, Peter." Bella said. It was a command not a request. I was impressed how calm and confident she sounded, despite the fact that she was pissed. But she was in control of her emotions, not the other way around.

And to be honest the coolness in her voice was quite the turn on. _Not the time …you need to focus …_

Peter seemed to assess the situation for a moment, contemplating his options. I send him a wave of calm coupled with reassurance, with the desired result. He let go of my mate. _Wise choice …_

I'd expected Bella to come running towards me as soon as she was free, but she surprised me yet again. She remained cool, calm and collected, just taking a step away from Peter. Then she turned to face him. "Thanks. Here," Bella handed Peter the cup of coffee and the muffin, "Please, hold them for me. I want to finish them later." Even though I couldn't see her face, I was pretty sure she was smiling, at least a bit, because I could detect a hint of glee in her voice.

"Sweetie, please be careful." Char warned. I was pleased to see how much my sister cared for my mate, considering they didn't know each other very well. She was obviously concerned for the Bella's safety, for which I was grateful. And apparently so was Bella. She gave Charlotte a curt nod of acknowledgment, but didn't say anything in return. Then she turned away from them, towards me and Emmett.

"She'll be fine." I heard Peter reassuring his wife, but deep down he shared her concern. But for the time being he was willing to put his faith in Bella before his worry.

But there was something else, something that didn't sit quite well with me. _Curiosity_. The sick bastard wanted to see how this would turn out, that's probably why he gave in to her request so quickly. The only reason why I didn't act in response to his feeling of curiosity was his stance. Yes he didn't try to hold her back, but he was ready to step in, to pull her out of the line of fire if something went wrong.

Bella took in a deep breath, and then she slowly walked over to Emmett and me. There was a certain air of confidence around her that took my breath away. She was truly a vision. Magnificent, beautiful … mine.

True, Bella appeared to be calm, but she was only calm on the outside. She couldn't fool me though, not when her shield was down.

Right now there was a battle going inside her. Her emotions were chaotic, as usual. She was shifting through emotions like someone skimming through a tedious magazine, from one to the other, never lingering long enough, making it very hard for me to actually identify her emotional state.

She was mad, that much was clear … mad at Emmett, at Peter and probably at me too. But there was also a tinge of anxiety, and I was pretty sure that was meant for both of us, Emmet and myself. She was scared that I'd hurt Emmett and vice versa. Despite her anger and disappointment, deep down, she still cared for Emmett. She was sad and confused just like him, but she was very determined to set things straight.

But when her eyes met mine, I could also detect a flicker of possessiveness, a need to protect her mate. _Well what do you know? She feels the same about me … possessive and ready to strike … that's my girl …_

The entire time I'd watched the situation from the corner of my eyes. Thanks to my peripheral vision there was no need to take my eyes of Emmett to see what was going on around me, which was a good thing. I didn't want to draw his attention away from me, afraid it might make things worse. Somehow I knew the only person who was going to reach him in this state was Bella, and I was sure Peter had come to the same conclusion.

There was no indication that Emmett knew Bella was on her way over to us. His senses must be really out of commission. I didn't know how he remained oblivions, but I took solace in the fact. He was still too busy growling at me, drowning me in his feelings of anger. My answering growls were low but not less menacing. I would never surrender easily.

Bella came to a halt a few feet away. I didn't know if she did it on purpose or not, but I was glad that she kept some distance between herself and us, just in case.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Emmett? Get the hell away from him!" Bella demanded, in a voice that left no room for interpretation. She was pissed. I couldn't help myself but I got a little turned on by the aggressiveness in her voice.

Emmett's head whipped around. He stared at Bella with a mixture of confusion and anger. "What do you mean? He was going to attack you … _again_." He retorted icily.

_Careful there, bro … _Another low growl escaped me, but this time it went unanswered.

Bella snorted, not very ladylike but I thought it was sort of cute. "Please, that's very unlikely. Jasper would never hurt me." There was no doubt in her voice, only conviction. _God, I love this woman._

Apparently that wasn't the kind of reaction Emmett had been expecting. A frown appeared on his face. "But …"

Bella held up her hand, cutting him off. "No, I don't want to hear it. There are no buts, no ifs. You've made a mistake, misreading his growl for what it really was. End of story. You may not believe it but Jasper wasn't going to attack me. He wouldn't do that, not after …" She trailed off. I was sure her mind had gone to the same place in time as mine, but she didn't linger on the ugly memory of her disastrous birthday party and neither did I. We had both agreed to put that little incident behind us, leaving it in the past, where it belonged. But she still gave me a sad, little smile, like she was begging for my forgiveness, for bringing it up. Completely unnecessary, but sweet nonetheless, just typical Bella behavior. As far as I was concerned she didn't have any reason to feel bad or guilty, and I let know through my gift that I wasn't angry or sad. I sent her my love and support, along with some strength, with the intended result.

Bella straightened up and returned her full attention back on Emmett. She wasn't finished yet, far from it.

"Look at Jasper's eyes, Emmett. There are still as golden as yours or Rosalie's. He'd kept up his diet even after you guys had left him high and dry. Turns out he doesn't need any of you to keep him in line. He is so much stronger than you know … hell even he doesn't seem to realize how strong he is. It's a shame that his so called family doesn't show him the same kind of respect and trust you all ask of him … a family should be supportive, no matter what, and let's face it … you've failed him. It's that simple." Emmett flinched at her harsh words, and I could hear Rose wincing.

"And just for the record, no one here means me any harm, not even Jasper's human blood drinking friends, who in theory should pose the greatest threat to me," Bella turned her head, giving Peter and his mate a small smile, "No offence …"

"None taken." They both replied at the same time, not the least bit offended by her statement. They were both enjoying her rant, immensely. I almost pitied Emmett for being at the receiving end of her anger … almost. But he had it coming … sort of.

"… but they don't." Bella finished her sentence, with a certain kind of finality in her voice, thus closing the subject. She took in another deep, calming breath, before continuing, "I trust them, just as I trust Jasper … and I'd used to trust you. So please, Emmett, let go of him … Right. The. Fucking. Now." Her order left no room for discussion. Everyone in the room knew that, including Emmett. He let go of my throat, and stepped away, with his head hanging like a scolded child, who had just been caught with _both_ hands in a cookie jar. _Poor guy._

I sank to the ground, more or less gracefully. Bella lost no time, rushing to my side. I grabbed her arms and pulled her down, right into my lap. And she went more than willingly. It was where she belonged after all …

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" She asked. Her voice was layered with anxiety. She leaned in, checking for injuries by gently caressing the cold, hard skin of my throat with her warm, little fingers. Of course there was no evidence of Emmett's harsh treatment to find, no imprints of his fingers, no bruises on my skin, nothing. I was sure she knew that, but she was too worried to think rationally at this point and to be honest I didn't mind her reaction. How could I? The way she cared about me, about my physical wellbeing, though needless, made her that much more endearing in my eyes. First and foremost she saw the man in me, not the vampire. And that was something I still had to get used to. But I liked it, I liked it a lot.

"I'm fine, Darlin'." I reassured her, pulling her into a tight hug.

I was more than fine actually. With my beautiful, loving woman in my arms I was blissfully happy. I didn't know how she did it, but whenever I was around her she made me forget what I was, where I was … just like now. I didn't care that we had company, because all I saw, all I sensed, all I needed was her. I buried my face in Bella's dark hair, sniffing it. She still smelled like me, at least a little. The warmth of her body was seeping through the layers of our clothes, at once making me want more.

_Skin on skin contact …_ _just like before … that's what I want … to finish what we've started upstairs … her soft, little hands on me, caressing, exploring, feeling my skin … and healing my soul …_

An involuntary, but unmistakable moan of desire escaped my mouth, when I felt her hot breathe washing over the skin of my neck, followed by a lingering kiss on my throat. Then I felt the tip of her tongue and I nearly lost it. Sure enough, my jeans suddenly felt very tight.

A loud gasp of shock called my immediate attention, snapping me out of my stupor. It was coming, no surprise there, from Emmett, followed by a groan of exasperation. Before either one of us could say or do anything, Peter decided to intervene. He stepped right in between us, still with the coffee cup in one hand and the muffin in the other. He looked ridiculous, like some yuppie-guy, only lacking the right kind of clothes and a newspaper, preferably the New York Times.

"Okay, guys, time out. I think we all have enough of this little pissing contest of yours, am I right ladies? Emmett, Bella is fine and in no danger of getting eaten by any one of us. Got it?" Peter gave Emmett a meaningful look, and received a bashful nod of acknowledgement in return. I was a little taken aback that Em was so easily swayed. They hardly knew each other. They hadn't spent half a century living together. So how was this possible? Was Peter more trustworthy than me? It appeared that way_._ But then again, I had been the one who had screwed up, the one who had tried to bite his little sister, so maybe he had every right to doubt me.

Before I had the chance to explore this any further, Peter turned his attention to me. "And you Major, keep it down a notch, _please_. We get it. Bella is yours and no one wants to get between you two. I seriously doubt that anyone here has a death wish. Alright? And I'm also pretty sure that Esme would be freaking out if she knew what you are doing with this place. So I think we should put a moratorium on the indoor fighting. We certainly don't need another hole to fill." He grinned at the end. Of course his sexual innuendo didn't go unnoticed by me. I flipped him off.

Peter just chuckled and then came over, kneeling beside us. Anticipating that he'd want to speak to her next, Bella shifted her position in my lap, so that she was with her back to my chest. In the process, she inadvertently brushed against my half-hardened erection. I didn't know how I managed it, but somehow I was able to stifle the moan that threatened to escape my throat … but only by biting hard down on my lower lip, almost breaking skin.

"And as for you, _hot lips_," he addressed my mate with a leer on his face and in his voice, receiving another warning growl from me, which he chose to ignore, of course. He lowered his voice, trying to create a sense of privacy, which was pointless of course in a room full of vampires with extraordinary hearing capabilities. "You better keep your hands, lips and tongue under control, unless you want to give us all a free show."

Even with her back to me, I could sense that Bella was mortified. The rise of her body temperature told me that she was probably blushing like crazy, a rare reaction these days. I was starting to miss it, what with her newfound inner strength and all that. Her reaction was understandable though, Peter had practically called her a brazen hussy, which she wasn't.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. She rested her head against my chest, and I leaned down, nudging her hair out of the way with my nose, whispering in her ear. "Don't mind him, Darlin'. He is just jealous he won't get a second chance at this." I placed a lingering kiss on her cheek, while keeping my eyes on Peter. He got the message. _Hands of my mate, or else …_

He rolled his eyes at me. "And what a pity it is …" He winked at my mate, sighing theatrically. Of course Bella reacted just the way he'd intended, by sniggering.

"Don't push it." I warned, half heartedly.

"Yeah, yeah I get it ... Here you go, little lady. Why don't you have some of that stinking beverage? I bet you can use some refreshment after all this drama." He said in a normal volume, shoving the coffee cup and the muffin into her waiting hands, more than glad to get rid of both items. She took them with another snigger and a mumbled thank you.

"It's probably cold by now, sorry." Peter said, getting on his feet.

"I don't mind." She shrugged, taking a sip. "Luke warm, just how I like it." Peter laughed at her attempt to ease his mind, but I could tell it wasn't a lie … well at least not a complete lie. She might prefer her coffee hot and steaming, but she would never lie or act disrespectfully. She was still immensely grateful for Peter's gifts, much to my dismay. Bella kept drinking and when she bit into the muffin, she moaned in appreciation. This time her reaction was one hundred percent legitimate.

My brother smiled down at her, happy that Bella was enjoying her snack. Then he turned and walked over to Charlotte, who had taken a seat on one of the chairs. He kissed her soundly on the mouth, making a clear statement, before he positioned himself on the floor between her open legs. He leaned back, with his legs stretched out and his arms crossed, waiting expectantly.

He didn't have to wait long.

"Would anybody please tell me what is going on here?" Emmett threw his hands up in frustration, still standing in the middle of the room, a mixture of confusion and irritation rolling of him.

Rose got up from her seat on the couch and went over to her mate. "Why don't you sit down, honey and let them explain. I'm sure we can sort this out … _in peace_." She emphasized the last part, grabbing his large hand and dragging him back to the couch. He went with her more or less willingly, plopping down like a petulant child. He was still radiating anger, but the need quench his curiosity was stronger.

Emmett turned to his wife. "Explain what? Wait … Are you trying to tell me you knew about this?" He accused.

Rose's anger spiked. "First of all, don't use that tone with me, mister, if you know what's good for you." She growled, and Emmett actually flinched. _God I've missed this._ "And secondly, no, I didn't know … at least not until a couple of minutes ago. Just take a look at them. Isn't it obvious?" Rose's patience was running thin, that much was obvious, and not just to me.

Em shifted his gaze back to me and Bella, narrowing his eyes. It was easy to tell that he still wasn't comfortable with me holding Bella in my arms. I could feel and see him fighting the desire to come over and pull her away, only to keep her safe. That much hasn't changed, always the overprotective brother. But he stayed put, more thanks to Rose's tight grip on his thigh than his own self-restraint.

I held his scrutinizing gaze evenly, concentrating on reading his emotions. Hostility, confusion, guilt … but no realization yet. The obvious still seemed to evade him. How was it possible? Or maybe he didn't want to believe it.

I was glad, Bella wasn't the least bit phased by Emmett's scrutiny, just continuing to finish her muffin and her coffee in peace. The physical contact helped us both to stay calm. She sat the empty cup down beside us, leaning back in my chest, letting out a satisfied sigh.

Since nobody was saying anything, Rose took it upon herself to shed some light on the mystery. "You are mates, am I right?" She looked at me for confirmation. I simply nodded.

Emmett's shocked expression was priceless. "Mates. What do mean, mates? They can't be mates. Alice and Edward …"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. Upon hearing the names of her former boyfriend and my ex-wife Bella went rigid in my arms. More than one growl filled the air, and to my surprise one of them was actually coming from my mate.

_Sexy _… _Wow, for a human she really has the vampire thing down. Growling … check, beauty … check, supernatural ability … check, staying (almost) immobile … check … The only things left are speed and strength … I can hardly wait … okay I'm getting sidetracked here … back to the subject at hand …_

Bella's anger was back full force. "Alice and Edward," she seethed, "_Alice_ _and_ _Edward_ … How can you still believe that they are our mates? After they'd left us, after all they had done …" She startled trembling in my arms, pain joining her anger. Then I could smell them, tears, and that wasn't sitting well with me.

Instead of lashing out at my brother for upsetting my mate, I decided the best move right now was using my power to comfort Bella. Peter was right, fighting would get us nowhere. I squashed my own anger and concentrated on Bella. I tightened my grip, careful not to hurt her, of course. I pushed as much calm into her I was able to conjure up under the circumstances, but it didn't seem to have the desired effect this time. She was fighting me. I didn't know if she did it on purpose or not, but it didn't matter. I started to rock her back and forth, making shushing sounds. "Shhh, Darlin', calm down. Emmett doesn't know … he didn't mean to upset you … right?"

"Of course not. I'm just … this is all so confusing … I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I still love you, little sis." Emmett's voice faltered. I was sure if it were possible he would be in tears too.

"I AM NOT YOUR SISTER." Bella yelled. Emmett visibly and audibly flinched. And so did I. The pain of rejection felt like a stab with sharp knife right into my dead heart, with a little twist, leaving me utterly breathless. I did my best to stay in control, but even with Bella's shield up, I was still exposed to Emmett's emotions, and they were quite potent. "You gave up the right to call me that when you'd walked out on me, without a word of goodbye, if memory serves. _You_ left _me_, Emmett. What did you expect? That I'd forgive and forget? Just like that? Not bloody likely. I'm not the same Bella anymore."

"That much is painfully obvious." Rose commented dryly. Tact has never been my sister's strong suit. I could tell that Bella wanted to respond, but Rose shook her head vehemently, beating her to the punch. "Oh no, Bella, you've said your piece. Now it's my turn." She stated calmly but with determination. She reached over to grab one of Emmett's big hands. She held it tightly, drawing soothing circles on the back on his palm, with immediate result. Emmett's and therefore my feelings settled down some. I exhaled loudly.

Rose's emotions and her tone of voice told me that she didn't blame Bella for lashing out at her husband, but at the same time she was ready to stand up for Emmett, a normal reaction for a mated vampire. "I get where all your anger is coming from, I really do …"

"I highly doubt that." Bella scoffed, completely belittling Rose's display of sympathy. I could have told her that my sister was telling the truth, but I didn't. Somehow it didn't feel right to act as a go-between, not this time. And Bella probably wouldn't have believed me anyway. The best thing right now was for them to get everything out in the open. They needed to move past their resentment and abandonment issues. We all did. "Like you'd care what I'm thinking or feeling or what I've been through after you'd left … I know that you hate me." Bella spat.

Rose smiled sadly. "That's where you're wrong, Bella. I might not particularly like you but I don't hate you. I never did. I don't know what Edward has told you about me and my thoughts, but I don't hate you. And how could I? We barely know each other." Bella shrugged, still not believing her. Rose seemed to realize that, choosing a different approach. "Did you by any chance read the letter I'd left for Jasper?"

_Clever move there, sis …_ I smirked inwardly.

For a moment there was complete silence in the room, apart from Bella's slightly erratic breathing. And just as suddenly as she'd closed herself off, Bella allowed me excess to her emotions again. _Thank God …_

"Yes." Bella answered in a subdued voice, clearly remembering its contents. Her anger had waned, but it was replaced by a negative feeling of another kind … guilt. _Great …just great …_

"Then you know none of us wanted to leave Forks … or you for that matter," Rose said, amending, "Well apart from Doucheward and the evil gnome, of course. This was all their doing, especially the part about leaving you behind without giving any one of us the chance to say good bye or explain things." Bella nodded once, imperceptibly to a human, but not to a vampire eye.

Rose ignored Bella's reaction and went on. "True, I didn't care less about that at the time, but Emmett certainly did. And so did Esme and Carlisle. You might think that they didn't care about you, but you couldn't be more wrong. Believe what you will, Bella, but they truly loved you like a daughter, and they still do." Rose smiled warmly, patting Emmett's hand caringly.

"All I'd wanted to do was to say good bye to you in person. I thought that was the least you deserved. I didn't want to leave you behind to begin with … but most importantly I didn't want you to think that you didn't mean anything to me. The Cullens are my family, but …" Emmett said, his voice cracking with the strength of his emotions, "but so are you. I know you are angry with me and I'd understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore. But … but you'll always be my little sister if you like it or not."

Bella's heartbeat quickened and her breathing hitched. She was deeply touched by Emmett's words. "That's … that's _nice_." She muttered, obviously lost for words. She was still reluctant to forgive him completely, but she was willing to try.

Of course, Peter chose to be an insensitive idiot by chuckling, loudly. Bella's head snapped around, and even though I couldn't see her face, I just knew she was glaring at him. Her reaction had the opposite effect, causing him to lose it completely. He started laughing like a maniac.

Instead of yelling at him, for upsetting and embarrassing her yet again, she called out his mate's name in such a calm, serene kind of way that didn't bode well … for Peter. They seemed to have a silent conversation, which only lasted for a few seconds, and completely went unnoticed by everybody but me. Then Char nodded her head once, smirking, and then her arm moved. She smacked the back of Peter's head so hard that the sound of the impact vibrated through the almost empty room. The force of the blow caused Peter to slump forward.

"What the hell … that actually hurt, woman." Peter complained, rubbing his head.

"You had it coming." Char said, smacking him again, less hard this time, just for good measure. I had a hard time not to burst out laughing.

"She is right." Bella agreed. For the first time she was really annoyed with my brother. "You had it coming, Peter … I'm only sorry for not being able to do it myself."

I could feel Emmett's and Rose's confusion at Bella's statement. "Char and Bella have an agreement. Whenever Peter acts out, Char will hand out the punishment in her place … since Bella would only hurt herself in the process." I explained, placing a kiss on Bella's head.

Then I lost control of my power, and everybody including Peter started laughing, and suddenly the mood in the room changed, and part of the earlier tension was leaving the room, making it easier to breathe. _Just what we needed, a little distraction …_

"That's hilarious." Rose commented, still sniggering. "And quite clever. Better Char than you, huh?"

I chuckled. "Yes, this way I don't have to fear any ramifications. I'm pretty sure it won't be the last time, you'll witness this. He can be quite the idiot." I said, ignoring Peter's low growl of protest. But at least he didn't complain in words, apparently knowing that now was not the time to continue acting like a fool. And I had a feeling that Bella and I weren't the only ones interested to hear the rest of Rose's story. "But I think he's got the message and will remain silent from now on. Please continue. I assume you weren't finished yet."

Rose nodded and picked up where she'd left off. "Yes … well … Emmett, Esme and Carlisle argued with Edward for hours after he'd come home that night. Believe me when I say that they were doing their best to sway Edward, but my idiot brother simply wouldn't listen to reason, stubborn son of a bitch that he is. I guess his mind was made up the moment everything had gone downhill at your birthday party. Of course he blamed Jasper for losing it over a simple paper cut, but I'm sure he was mostly angry with himself, and rightfully though, considering he was the one who'd caused you any damage." I still didn't like to be reminded of Bella getting hurt because of me. I still felt somewhat responsible.

But Bella, God bless her, hurried to defend me. "Jasper isn't …" She began, but Rose cut her off.

"I know, Bella, I know that he isn't to blame for what'd happened that day, and neither are you. Maybe none of us are. Cutting yourself was a mere accident and our reaction was to be expected. Try as we might, but there is no use to downplay the truth. We are bloodthirsty vampires and you are a human … our natural food source, for crying out loud. The scent of fresh blood isn't something we can simply ignore. None of us can, not even I and Carlisle, who've never tasted human blood in all those years, are completely immune to it. It is what it is." Her words were almost the same ones that Bella had used the other day. They didn't even know it, but they were so much alike. No wonder I felt the way I did about them. I loved Bella as my mate, and Rose as a sister. Both were fiercely protective and utterly honest. _Truly one … or two of a kind … _

"I'd realized pretty fast that it has been our combined bloodlust that had driven Jasper over the edge. But in the end it didn't matter what I'd thought. It was Alice who turned the tide. She convinced us that a cold break was in your best interest, saying that she had a vision, thus backing up her claim." Rose seethed, and Bella let out a snort. "Yeah, I'm right there with you. Quite obviously she'd lied. I don't know how she did it, but she managed to fool us all. Even Edward couldn't tell that she was lying, probably too blinded by his own guilty feelings to pay enough attention. Or maybe she was simply too clever, who knows." Rose shrugged. Her feelings of anger were rising again. "We've never had any reason to doubt Alice's words or her so called good intentions, so of course we trusted her, moving along with her plan to leave Forks and you as soon as possible, not even waiting for Jasper's return. But believe me we've paid for both mistakes dearly. You see, Bella, you are not the only one who got hurt in the process. It's true and I'm a little ashamed to admit that in the beginning my only concern was for Jasper's wellbeing, understandably though, since nobody else seemed to give a damn about him at the time and considering the fact that you and I had never been that close. But that doesn't mean I didn't sympathize with your situation. And if you'd read my letter very carefully, you know that I don't think it was the right decision to make … leaving you behind with no way to contact us, cutting of all ties. Edward had brought you into our family, making you part of it … and suddenly you were what … disposable? You didn't deserve to be dumped over something that was nobody's fault … even if it was inevitable to happen at some point." Rose said, putting it bluntly as usual.

But Bella wasn't offended, quite the opposite. I smelled tears again. "Thanks, Rosalie." She sniffed, gripping my arms like as a sort of anchor. Rose's words did have a similar effect on me. I was touched and glad at the same time. Rose cared about my mate more than she was willing to admit, and vice versa. They didn't seem to notice it … yet, but Rose and Bella shared a mutual bond of respect, one that could easily evolve into friendship or even sisterhood. I certainly would like that.

I wasn't able to tell if it was just the influence of my projective power or not, but Rose's demeanor softened even further. There was even the slightest hint of a sob in her voice, when she continued. "It has become quite obvious that your absence, Bella, was the reason for our collective suffering. Everybody missed you in one way or another … Well everybody except for Alice …" She mused. I wondered where she was going at with this short but certainly significant statement, but unfortunately she didn't elaborate. _Later …_

"Anyhow, as I was saying, things haven't been exactly _peachy_ since we've left Forks … quite the opposite actually. Everyone was brooding 24/7, for different reasons, of course. We weren't talking to each other very much. Actually we barely spend any time as a family, at all. Carlisle busied himself with work at the local hospital, while Esme was distracting herself with redecorating our house in Alaska. But I doubt very much that it was working." Rose shook her head. Sadness was rolling of her in waves. Emmett's expression matched that of his wife. I could imagine how hard it must have been for all them to live under such awful emotional stress. Wanting to reconcile, but not really knowing how, that must have been pure hell. Quite frankly, I was pretty glad that I hadn't stayed with them. Just having access to Emmett's and Rose's feeling right now was enough to bring me down. "Edward and Alice kept to themselves, avoiding everybody, even each other. They had left weeks before we did, separately, but according to Carlisle they are together now, God only knows where. But honestly, I don't really care. Whatever they are feeling … they brought it among themselves." Rose wasn't really gloating, just hitting a nail.

"The last time Alice and I had spoken to each other, I'd discovered something rather interesting, maybe even unsettling." Rose was looking straight at me now. "I'd asked her about you and your whereabouts … for the umpteenth time, I might add. I was still giving her the benefits of the doubt, believing that she still needed time to recover from all the drama. I still believed that sooner or later she going out to find you, I still thought that she and you were still … you know mates …"

"Oh." Emmett exclaimed, clearly having some sort of epiphany. "I remember. Alice said that you and her … that you have never been mates … Oh dear Lord, that would explain a lot, wouldn't it?" He turned to look at Rosalie. "Do you think that she knew about them all along?"

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**A/N Oh crap, another cliffi. *shrugs* You know me, I like them.**

**So it's finally done. The family is back together, partially reconciled and ready to deal with all the problems looming on the horizon. So what's next?**

**And what do you think? Did Alice know about Jasper and Bella?**


	27. Mysteries unsolved

**A/N We did it … well actually you, my loyal (and patient) readers, did it. Over thousand reviews. That's just crazy.**

**This chapter is dedicated to **_**rugby35**_** and **_**CentauRita**_** (loved all your reviews by the way, sugar) who have been battling for review number 1000. But of course, I thank the rest of you as well from the bottom of my heart. **

**I wasn't really surprised that (almost) every one of you is convinced that Alice is the evil, scheming bitch of the century. For now I'm not going to verify or contradict any of your theories, but I will shed some light on Edward's involvement … if there is any … **

**Enjoy!**

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_Previously …_

"_Oh." Emmett exclaimed, clearly having some sort of epiphany. "I remember. Alice said that you and her … that you have never been mates … Oh dear Lord, that would explain a lot, wouldn't it?" He turned to look at Rosalie. "Do you think that she knew about them all along?"_

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Chapter 27 Mysteries unsolved

Jasper POV

The room fell into complete silence. Even a mere human would have been able to hear a pin drop under these circumstances.

I wasn't the only one who was stunned speechless by Emmett's unsuspected moment of clarity. Who would have thought he had it in him?

But the more important question was: Was Emmett right with his assessment? Was it possible that Alice has known all along about me and Bella, about us being mates? Or has she come to the same conclusion only after our separation, like me, finally realizing that we weren't supposed to last? I really hoped that was the case, because despite the new image I had of my ex-wife, I couldn't bring myself to believe that she was that cruel and callous. I still believed that she'd helped keeping me and Bella apart solely for the purpose to ensure the human's safety, because she'd cared about her best friend …

True, Alice was manipulative like no other, I've always known that, and I've never faulted her for that. That's who she was. But I've never pictured her to be ruthless to achieve her goals. Sneaky yes, but not ruthless …

But what if I was wrong? Maybe Alice has managed to deceive us all. _What a disturbing thought._

It was a possibility, a small one, but still a viable possibility. As powerful as we all were, none of our gifts were infallible, not Edward's telepathy, Alice's fortune-telling or my empathy. And maybe we've been relying on them too much, to see what was right in front of our eyes …

It took some time and a lot of practice, but by now I knew exactly how to bypass Edward's mind reading power. And I wasn't the only one who'd managed to find a way to keep things from Edward, if necessary. It usually helped to think of things that annoyed or bored him, like thinking about fashion in Alice's case, or about rebuilding a car like Rosalie.

Naturally, we all had things to hide from each other, and living amongst a mind reader made us quite creative in trying to keep those things a secret.

Emmett's way to keep Edward out of his head was probably the most effective and quickest … and probably the cruelest … from Edward's point of view. I knew for a fact that Em actually took great pleasure bombarding Edward's 'innocent' mind with endless pictures of him with his mate, doing the nasty. Like hearing them on a daily basis wasn't enough to torture him … or any of us. Needless to say, those mental images usually had Edward running for the hills in no time.

As funny as it was, it was also a little childish to use such methods. It wasn't like Edward was spying on us on purpose. He just couldn't help. His gift like mine didn't have an on/off switch. As a matter of fact he, like me, wished that things were different. We both thought, that our gifts were more a burden than a blessing.

I wasn't sure if it was actually possible to find a way around my gift, since it was much harder to fake emotions than to hide thoughts, but who knew. In our world anything seemed possible … especially since Bella has become a part of it.

I had no problem to identify emotions, but to interpret them correctly was another story. And whenever I was in a room with more than two people it could be very difficult to pinpoint the source, to tell who was feeling what. It wasn't like emotions had a tenor to them, like thoughts.

Alice's gift worked in a complete different way.

For one, she didn't have visions to guide her or us twenty four seven, which was probably a very good thing. Otherwise she would have gone crazy a long time ago. But more importantly, the outcome of her visions could always change, because the future wasn't set in stone … which made her visions not very reliable to begin with. I was pretty sure that nobody knew how exactly Alice's gift worked, not even Alice herself.

Predicting the future was tricky business … nothing was for certain, too many variables to consider, everything could change in a blink of an eye. In another word: her gift was flawed.

Usually her visions came out of nowhere, triggered by one thing or another. My guess was those visions were the ones that truly mattered … like those times when she'd seen me slip up, and she actually had been able to stop me.

But most of the times she deliberately used her gift to search the future for anything and everything, trivial or otherwise. I could understand and appreciate her need to protect the family, and all those innocent humans (mostly from me), but using her gift to check the weather report for the next day or sneak a peek at her Christmas presents … well that was just wrong and not to mention extremely annoying.

Maybe her gift shouldn't be used like that? Maybe her gift did have some sort of limit? Maybe by trying to force to see everything, the truly important things had slipped by her notice? Why else hasn't she been able to warn us beforehand not to take Bella with us to that disastrous baseball game? Or why hasn't she seen that Bella was going to trick me, and leave to meet James all on her own? But the most important question was: Why in the hell hasn't she seen what was going to happen at Bella's birthday party? She could have saved us all a lot of heartache. But maybe she wasn't supposed to see it? Maybe it was supposed to happen just like that? Otherwise Bella and I wouldn't be here, together at last, now would we? Maybe she was no longer able to meddle in the fates of others? So should I just be grateful instead of angry?

_Too many questions, not enough answers …_

I was pulled out of my inner musings by the only person who could reach me at the moment without saying a word, the one person, who probably held my attention on a subconscious level at all time, just by being with me in the same room.

My beautiful mate.

So far she hadn't said anything, but I could tell that she wanted to, badly.

Bella slightly shifted her position in my lap, so that she was facing me again. She was confused and upset, that much was clear from her facial expression, but other than that I couldn't quite determine her emotional state. Once again her emotions were in total disarray.

_Well, darlin' we are in the same boot here … I'm just as confused as you are …_

"Jasper, you don't think that it's true, do you?" She asked me, her voice slightly breaking at the end. She shot me an inquiring, almost pleading look, her eyes wide, glistening with unshed tears.

I reached out, cupping her face, stroking her cheeks gently with my thumps. I yearned to console her, but I didn't want to lie either. "I don't know, Bella. I hope not, but …"

"… unfortunately we can't completely rule it out either." Rose finished my sentence in a subdued voice, echoing my thoughts precisely.

It was easy to tell that my sister felt regret for voicing her opinion out loud, which was certainly a first. I sent her some reassuring vibes, receiving a slight nod of acknowledgment and appreciation in return.

True Alice and Rose have never been very close, but they were family, sisters who trusted each other. So of course, if Alice truly had done something to harm her family, in any way, Rose would never forgive her for that. Any kind of betrayal was an absolute no-go in Rose's book, and considering her history, it was completely reasonable.

Bella shook her head vehemently. "No, no, I don't believe it. That would just be …"

"Cruel? Yeah it would be." I agreed. "I don't want to believe it either." _But there are certain points I cannot ignore._ I added in my mind.

"What's so hard to believe? She is a scheming, manipulating bitch, end of story." Peter seethed. Charlotte's and Rose's emotions told me, that they were in complete agreement with him, well at least with his last statement. Emmett seemed to be too stunned to make up his mind.

Peter did have a point. We all knew how Alice used her gift to manipulate things and people to her liking, we just hadn't called her out on it, not really anyway. We have taken her good intentions for granted, never having any reason to doubt her. Has she taken advantage of our faith we've put in her?

Before I could say my piece, Bella pushed me away … for the first time ever. She frantically scrambled to get on her feet. Although her rejection did hurt me, a lot, I helped her up. Her earlier confusion has quickly turned into a mixture of anger and disgust. It was hard to tell who exactly it was directed at, but from the look on her face, unfortunately it included me.

_Oh great … how do I fix this?_

I didn't get the chance to say or do anything, because she turned away from me, glaring at Peter, who was still sitting between Charlotte's legs.

"Oh, please … you are only saying this because you hate Alice." My mate scoffed, moving further away from me. She stopped a few feet away from Peter.

Only Bella would walk up to a vampire and start a confrontation, without considering the consequences. I admired her for her strength, her zest, but on the other hand I wanted to pull her aside and tell her to put a stop to this nonsense.

But I didn't. Instead I followed Bella like her shadow, barely keeping any space between us. I was practically breathing down her neck. She knew I right behind her, but sending clear vibes, telling me not to interfere. It was hard to fight the urge put my arms around her waist and pull her back to my chest. It went against my nature. For one I wanted to console her, but more importantly I wanted to protect her.

I knew from personal experience that Peter wasn't one for turning down a fight, verbal or otherwise. I sent him a wave of gratitude for trying to keep himself in check.

"You don't know anything." Bella snapped.

"Au contraire, mademoiselle, I happen to know quite a lot. Gifted vampire with over a hundred and fifty years of experience, remember?" Peter quipped.

Sometimes my brother was so full of himself. It would take more than a slap or two, to pull him down from his high horse. I was more than willing to deliver the message, but for now, I let it slide.

"And just for the record, I have every right to hate the little pixie. I've witnessed her turning my brother, my sire, the man I still look up to despite everything, into nothing more than a puppet on strings. Of course I hate her. Nothing you say will ever change my mind.

"She uses her gift to scheme and manipulate each and every person around her. Too bad for her, that neither I nor Char are that easily to control. Sorry guys," he spared us Cullens (and former Cullens) a significant look, "but how come that none of you have actually questioned her motives before? Are you actually that foolish?"

It was a low blow and he knew it. He hit a nerve, in all of us, I could tell. He wasn't wrong with his assessment though, harsh as it was, it was the truth. Blind faith was never a good thing.

Peter didn't feel bad for his admission. Actually he was relieved, for finally being able to speak his mind so freely. I've always known that he didn't like Alice or the person that I've become by choosing a life with her and the Cullens over him and Char.

Of course his feelings of resentment had nothing to do with my choice of diet. He couldn't care less about that. In fact, whatever made me happy was good enough for him. And changing my diet definitely fell in that category. But marrying Alice did not.

Until today he'd kept his true opinion to himself, clearly not wanting to cause irreparable damage to our friendship, because he'd known that at the time I would have chosen my supposed mate over him. I couldn't fault him for keeping his opinion to himself. It only showed how much he was willing to sacrifice to keep me in his life, one way or another.

Bella's breath hitched. She turned her head to look at me first, and then her eyes went over to Rosalie and Emmett. She shook her head. Whatever she saw in our eyes, it wasn't what she'd expected to find.

"I can't believe you are willing to condemn your sister without having any _real_ evidence." She said quietly, but her voice spoke volumes. She was disappointed.

This was typical Bella behavior. Even though it has been very clear earlier that she was very mad at Alice about the whole divorce papers issue, she was still willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Sure, it was unfair to judge Alice without having her here to explain things and if necessary to defend herself. But still, in the end the fact remained the same … Alice was a manipulative bitch.

I was torn. I wanted to explain myself, telling Bella that I wasn't convinced … yet … that Alice had done anything, other than doing what she' thought was best for the family. But at the same time I wanted to knock some sense into my mate's head. Her compassion and selflessness were endearing and honorable character traits, a main part why I loved her so much, but somehow I hoped that with everything that has happened, she might have realized that she should be a little more careful who to trust. And here I'd thought vampires had a problem with change, apparently Bella did too. I swallowed my aggravation, focusing on calming my mate instead. Her wellbeing would always be my first and main concern. There would be time to deal with everything else later.

"Bella …" I called her name softly. With gentle, yet strong fingers I grasped her chin forcing her to look straight at me. When our eyes met, the tears, she has been trying to hold back, started spilling. I tried to pull her closer, but she fought against me. Glad to have another alternative, I tried to calm her with my gift instead, but again, it wasn't working.

_Damn her and her stupid shield_, I cursed inwardly.

Apparently she'd felt what I was trying to do. "Not right now, Jasper. I just … I think I need a moment to myself. Please, just let me go." She demanded gently yet firmly. I had no other choice but to let her go. I would never force myself on her, in any way.

_Whatever makes you happy, Darlin' …_ I thought, taking a step back.

Bella wiped her tears from her face with the back of her hands and immediately turned to walk away from me.

"Where are you going?" I asked, completely aware how desperate I sounded. But I didn't care. Every vampire in the room knew what I was feeling, not only because I was projecting my gift. Mated vampires felt very possessive and protective of their mates, and not being able to console your mate … well, let's just say it was excruciatingly devastating.

Bella looked over her shoulder. She gave me a warm, reassuring smile, trying to tell me without words, not to worry.

"I need to use the bathroom. I had too much coffee and now I have to pee." Her answer was surprisingly blunt. And it wasn't an excuse. "Cause and effect." She added with a shrug, before she walked straight into the downstairs bathroom by the stairs, closing the door quietly behind her, disappearing from sight.

A few seconds later I heard water running down the drain. I had to smile despite my hurt feelings. Bella always turned on the sink before using the toilet, hoping that the sound of running water would drown out the _other_ noises. It was a neat trick, but unfortunately for her, it didn't work, at least not completely. Of course for her sake, and ours, we've all learned to tune out certain noises.

I sank to the floor, feeling utterly drained all of a sudden.

The whole afternoon has turned into a freaking rollercoaster ride, one I couldn't say I was enjoying, at least not anymore.

Sure, the afternoon has started out just fine … well more than fine actually. To be honest, I've had the best make-out session of my life, and that was saying something, considering my age and my sexual experience, not to mention the fact that I haven't had the chance to find my own release. It still has been perfect. But then again, seeing Bella in all her naked glory for the first time was gratification enough. She was a vision, breathtakingly beautiful from head to toe. And making her cum with my tongue and my fingers … oh god, I couldn't wait to have a repeat performance of that, preferably sooner than later.

Of course, I was glad to have Emmett and Rose back in my life. And I knew they felt the same about me … and Bella. And of course, I'd anticipated that our reunion wouldn't be a walk in the park, that it could be tricky, but not like this … a freaking trip down memory lane, wondering if the life I've lived for the past seventy years might just have been a complete lie … Peter rubbing it in … Bella making me feel guilty and then shying away from me … it was all too much.

Of course, I broke down. But Peter, being Peter, didn't let me drown in self-pity.

"Did Bella just quote Matrix?" He remarked with a chuckle.

"Yeah … I think she did." Emmett verified, chuckling as well. "I didn't even know she was into this stuff." He mused. But he was clearly pleased by that fact.

"Of course, who wouldn't … Keanu alone …" Rose sighed.

"For a human he's quite hot." Char agreed in a similar dreamy voice, causing the women to giggle like teenage schoolgirls and the men to growl in annoyance.

But the effect of changing the subject remained just the same. Like magic the rising tension left the room, replacing my anxiety with far more pleasant feelings. I soaked up the amusement like a sponge. I was glad for being able to breathe freely again, even though it wasn't physically necessary, it made quite a difference.

My eyes were still glued to the bathroom door. I could still hear the water running, though I knew that Bella had already finished taking care of her human needs. I still couldn't get a good read on her emotions, but I took comfort in the fact that I couldn't hear her crying. From what I was able to gather, considering she had shut me out, quite literally on both accounts, she was having one hell of an inner monolog while she was in there.

Sometimes I wished I did have Edward's power. But then again, she was immune to that, too.

Char stood up and came over, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Bella is fine. Just give her a moment to calm down. This is all a little too much for her right now, as you can imagine." She leaned down and kissed my cheek swiftly, before she went into the kitchen. She was back a second later with a bottle of water for Bella. The way she was taking care of my mate, emotionally and physically, was heartwarming.

"I'm so sorry." Emmett muttered barely audible. I might have missed it completely, if it hadn't been for his emotions. His guilt was back at full force. He was desperate to make things right with me and his little sister, not worsen them. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"Stop berating yourself, honey. No one is mad with you." Rose soothed her mate, not only with words but with a gentle pat on his thigh as well. I let Emmett know through my gift that I totally agreed with his wife. His tense stance visibly relaxed. "But you've raised a valid question. It could be possible in theory … but I don't believe Alice is actually that good. Fooling Edward and Jasper … well I think that would be quite hard to pull off … and doing so on a long term basis …sheer impossible." She stated with full conviction.

"Yeah, the sneaky pixie isn't all that clever." Emmett agreed eagerly.

"Well, good thing is, her plan, whatever it was, has failed." Rose said, thoughtfully. "Though I still don't understand why it was okay to push Edward towards Bella considering her blood sings to him, and at the same time doing everything to keep you and her apart. It doesn't make any sense." She looked at me, seeking answers I didn't have, but would make sure to get … somehow, someday.

"Other than trying to prevent Bella from stealing her husband, you mean." Emmett joked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

With a loud thud Rose's hand connected with the back of Emmett's head. He didn't dare to complain, because he knew he'd deserved it.

"_Ex_-husband." I corrected him. Though I surely didn't like what he'd said, because he made it sound like Bella and I had started something back then, I wasn't really mad with though, knowing that he hadn't meant it like that. That's just Emmett, always speaking before thinking.

"You're divorced?" Rose asked, surprised, but utterly pleased at the same time. "Well, I guess that's the best thing I've heard today."

"I second that." Peter agreed, the glee in his voice matching that of my sister, but he wasn't surprised at all. Quite obviously Charlotte has filled him in after they'd left the house earlier to give me and Bella some privacy.

Although I was still hurt about the way Alice had dropped my ass, I couldn't argue that in the end, she's given me exactly what I wanted, and needed. Freedom. "She has filed for divorce in October. But I've only gotten the paper today." I told them.

"What a bitch." Rose cussed under her breath, her long blond hair swinging with the shakes of her head. "No wonder she was so pissed off whenever I mentioned your name. But what I don't get is why she hasn't told any of us. We are still her family." Her voice was layered with sadness and disappointment. With a thoughtful look on her face, she added, "I'm not even sure Edward knows. I wonder what else she's kept from us …"

Right then I heard the sink being turned off. "I guess Alice had her reasons … and we could sit here all day long and venture guesses. But I don't believe we would make any progress. So for everybody's sake, I think we should drop the whole 'Alice' subject … at least for now." I suggested. Everyone in the room was in complete agreement with my proposal.

I exhaled loudly and got on my feet. "In fact, there were far more pressing matters we need to discuss." I declared with a fleeting look over my shoulder. Of course, Peter and Char knew what I was referring to, but Emmett and Rose had no idea. Both their eyes widened marginally, telling me that my statement quite obviously caught their instant attention. But they had to be little more patient for the explanation, because a moment later the bathroom door opened and my mate came out.

Bella looked a thousand times better, emotionally speaking, because she always was beautiful, no matter what state she was in or what she was wearing. Though, I had to admit, seeing her dressed in that skirt, was truly a special treat.

Her eyes immediately sought out mine and a wide smile spread across her face when our eyes met. I was relieved to see in her warm, loving, ever-trusting eyes that she wasn't mad with me anymore. But more than that I could feel it because she'd dropped her shield again, allowing me complete access.

Waves of calmness and peace washed over me, intermingled with the unconditional love she felt for me. Her emotions were almost too overwhelming in their intensity and purity. Maybe I should be used to it by now, but the truth was I wasn't, probably I never would be.

I still felt undeserving of this kind, loving woman who was currently gazing at me like I was the most beautiful man and the most important person in her life. I still couldn't belief my luck. It was more I've ever dared to hope for. Regardless, I vowed to myself once again, that I would do everything in my power to keep her, to prove myself worthy of her trust and her love, to make her as happy as she made me.

I didn't know how long we stood there, lost in each other's gazes. The world around us seemed to disappear entirely. For me there was only Bella, and quite obviously she felt the same. What felt like hours, were probably just seconds. Finally I couldn't take it any longer, the physical distance between me and my mate. I needed to hold her, to feel her. With a few quick strides I was right in front of her, pulling her into my arms. I crashed my mouth on hers, kissing her passionately, almost desperately. She reciprocated in kind, moaning, when my tongue entered her mouth. God, she tasted so good. I would never get my fill of her.

I would have proceeded if it hadn't been for Bella's need for oxygen. Reluctantly, I pulled away, breathing almost as hard as my mate. I leaned in once more, placing a quick, soft kiss on her lips.

"I love you, too." I murmured against her lips, answering her unspoken words.

Bella sighed, burying her head into my chest. I could hear her mumbling silly words of apology. I shook my head, gently caressing her backside. "You have no need to feel sorry. If anything, I should be the one to apologize. Your reaction was completely justified. You are right. Judging someone without having any viable evidence is unfair, and not to mention rather pointless. I know we need to talk about this, but I think right now might not be the best time. Later, okay?"

She lifted her head, smiling. "That's fine with me."

We shared another sweet kiss, before I turned us around, to face our present company. Neither Bella nor I were prepared for what we found.

Both couples looked mildly disheveled. Emmett's shirt was missing a few buttons. Rose's hair looked like Bella's when she woke up in the morning. Peter and Charlotte both sat side by side on the floor, leaning against the wall. Their clothes were more wrinkled than before, but neither one of them seemed to care.

It wasn't hard to guess what has taken place behind our backs.

"Did we miss anything?" I asked, playing all innocent, but failing miserably.

"Like, you have to ask." Peter replied dryly, pulling his mate closer. Char rested her head on Peter's shoulder. She wore a huge smile on her face, looking utterly pleased. "Those vibes you just put out would make even the most virtuous person lose their inhibition in a jiffy. I mean that kiss alone …" he trailed of, with a dreamy look on his face. I rolled my eyes at him. I wouldn't be surprised if Peter asked for another demonstration, at another time.

_Think again, you kinky bastard … _

Emmett voiced his aggravation at loud. "Hey, that's my little sister, you are talking about." He growled at Peter. Bella didn't rebuke him this time, for calling her his little sister. She seemed to be otherwise occupied. Or she didn't care. It was hard to tell.

"That's enough boys. We don't want to make Bella any more uncomfortable than she already is." Rose cautioned.

I looked down at my mate, and for sure, she was blushing slightly. "No need to feel ashamed, Darlin'." I whispered into her ear, fighting the urge to pull her lob between my teeth and nibble on it.

_Later … when we are alone … without witnesses …_

"Jasper is right. You really shouldn't. That was a really, _really_ nice kiss." Rose said, winking at Bella. To my surprise, she took my sister's appraisal for what it was, a compliment. I chuckled, when I felt my mate's embarrassment for nearly inciting an orgy vanish only to be replaced by feelings of another kind. Pride. This was new, but a refreshing change.

"So, Jasper," Rose called my attention, "you've mentioned something about important things we need to discuss. How about you fill us in now?"

I nodded once and guided Bella to the now empty chair. I sat down, pulling her into my lap. I liked having her there.

"Yes, well … since my return to Forks two days ago there have been … some complications." I began. "Carlisle's presumptions have turned out to be wrong. There are still werewolves in this area."

Rose and Emmett gasped, not in horror, but in surprise. "The wolves are back? Wow … that is … that could be a problem." My sister said, glancing over to Peter and Charlotte.

"You don't say. Char and I are practically housebound because of those nasty smelling mutts." Peter complained.

Rose wisely chose to ignore his pathetic whining. "How do you know they are back? Did they come over here?"

I shook my head. "No, Bella had a little run in with a guy named Sam Uley." I said, trying hard to keep my temper in check. Just thinking about her encounter with the werewolf made the venom pool in my mouth. I swallowed it, and my anger.

"Uley … that name sounds familiar. If memory serves his … grandfather, I presume … was part of the original pack. But what do you mean by run in? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Rose asked, addressing Bella directly.

"No, of course not." Bella exclaimed, clearly appalled by the implication. I wasn't surprised that she was angry because that the same reaction she'd had when I'd asked that question. I stroked her back reassuringly, sending her some calming waves. She took a deep breath before she went on. "Sam came to my house the other day, just to _talk_. He knows that vampires are back in the area, but he doesn't know who or how many. He came to warn me, that's it. And since you guys can smell each other … well let's just say he knew that I knew without saying it out loud. Sure, he wasn't thrilled about my involvement with you guys, far from it actually. But he didn't threaten me or anything. I think … somehow … he seemed to understand."

Rose and Emmett were shocked. "Let's hope so … But how do you know that he is a werewolf?" She demanded to know rather nicely, despite her level of stress. She was truly concerned about Bella.

"Oh, he didn't tell me … but from the bits and pieces of information I've gotten from my friend Jacob and you guys … well it was rather easy to put two and two together." Bella explained, feeling very proud of herself. We all knew that she was very smart, and sometimes annoyingly observant.

"So he knows that you know, about what he is, I mean." Rose clarified. Bella nodded once. "Hmmm … that's interesting. As far as I know they are just as secretive about their existence as we are, maybe even more so. He must like you, or at least respect you, to let you get away with it." She said, frowning slightly. "Albeit, you have no idea, how lucky you are, Bella. Werewolves can be very dangerous. They usually act on instinct alone." She was simply stating facts, not trying to scold Bella. But of course, given her history, my mate didn't see it that way.

"Says the vampire." She scoffed. "I trust him with my life. I _know_ they don't mean me any harm. They are here to protect the people of Forks. And last I've checked, I am one of the _human_ citizens." She did have a point. Every vampire in the room could vouch for that. Her heartbeat was strong, and a little faster than usual, due to her anger.

For a moment there I wondered why she didn't tell my siblings about Sam's heroic act. As much as I hated to admit it, I sort of owed him, for saving Bella's life that night. But I guessed that she wasn't quite ready to share that information with them. Remembering the pain she'd felt when telling me about Edward's dumping act, I could understand her decision. I was sure, that she would tell them, eventually, when she was ready.

Rose shook her head. "No, actually, Bella, first and foremost they are here to protect their tribe. According to our treaty, Forks is our territory. They have to stay on their land … at least now that we are back." She amended, settling deeper into the couch. "But I guess you are right … in theory. Of course, they keep watch over the rest of the population of Forks too. I'm just not so sure they truly consider you part of the people they need to guard anymore. Don't get me wrong, I don't think they would do anything to you on purpose. And I hope they would help you, if you'd ask them for it. But since you are sleeping with the enemy, so to speak, well I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't. I'm sorry, but it is what it is." Bella nodded her head, but didn't reply anything. She seemed to realize that her association with us came with a price. Choosing sides always did.

"Bella, I'm just worried, that's it. You don't know these creatures like I do. Believe me. It wasn't easy to make them agree to the treaty in the first place. In fact, if it hadn't been for Edward's mind reading and Carlisle's way with words, things would have turned out quite differently." Rose said. "Maybe it's a natural response in our kind, and theirs, who knows, but it took a lot of convincing from Carlisle, that our first encounter hadn't ended in bloodshed."

Emmett snorted. "Five against three, I still think we could have taken them." He grumbled, frustration seeping out of him for being denied a challenge, and an unusual one at that. I grinned. My brother has always been the act-first-asked-questions-later-type, completely relying on his physical strength, always eager to show his supremacy in that department.

He was a stubborn hothead, even back in his human days. Who in their right mind would go up against a full-grown bear and believe to come out victorious? Only Emmett.

"Yes, honey, I know. You've lost the opportunity of a lifetime." Rose rolled her eyes, patting his leg. We all knew she was placating him. "But I am glad for the way things have turned out. The treaty has its perks. We can stay and return to this place whenever we want, without having to fear any retaliation.

"Actually … I have an idea. Remember, two years ago, when we came back, Carlisle had arranged a meeting with the tribal elders to talk and renew the treaty, since you and Alice had joined our coven? Well, maybe we should do the same thing now, explain our … er, temporary return but more importantly let them know that two human drinkers are staying as well. It would certainly show … I don't know … our good will to coexist in peace?"

I smirked. "I like the way you're thinking, sis." I said. Carlisle would be very proud of his daughter. "Bella, do you think, you could get in touch with Sam?"

Bella felt happy to be involved in this matter. "I don't have his number. But I could give Jacob a call. Maybe he will relay the message." She suggested, shrugging her shoulders. I could tell that she wasn't completely sure it would work, but she was willing to give it a try, eager to help in any way possible. I wouldn't to stop her, as long as she was staying out of trouble. Knowing her, it would be hard to convince her to stay away from the actual meeting, but there's always hoping.

"Okay that's settled then." Rose said, closing that particular subject, but moving on to next without further delay. "Jasper, you've said complications, as in plurals… what else is there?"

I grimaced. "Laurent."

"Laurent? What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Emmett growled, nearly jumping off the couch, but his mate kept him in place.

I could understand his reaction. Werewolves were one thing. We could avoid them, if need be. And with our numbers, and fighting expertise on our side, I was fairly sure we would have the upper hand, if it actually came to a fight. But that would be the last resort. We would rather leave than start war with these creatures, which were in fact still part human.

But having to deal with another one of our kind, who might pose a threat to Bella, well that was another thing all together. Laurent was, or has been, connected to James, the vampire who had caused our family nothing but grief and in Bella's case enormous physical pain. Sure, he was dead now, thanks to me and Emmett, but still … the mere mention of his former coven member brought back all those horrible memories, we were all trying to forget, or at least bury. None of us wanted a repeat of that, especially not me.

Instinctively, I pulled Bella closer to me. She seemed to sense my distress, and snuggled deeper into my embrace. The contact helped to keep me focused. "We don't know. He didn't stick around so we couldn't ask him. I was hoping you might know something."

Rose and Emmett shared a brief look, before Rose answered my question. "Well, we didn't spend much time with the Denali clan. I went hunting with Kate a couple of times, but that's about it. When we left he was still there." She said, taking a moment to think. "But … now that you mention it … the color of his eyes was still too close to red than golden. But then again you know, as well as I do, it takes some time to get used to our diet." She spared me a significant look. She wasn't judging me, she never has.

It had taken me over a year, six months longer than Alice, to come to terms with the change. My eye color still differed slightly from the rest of them. They were a tad darker, but that was only noticeable to a vampire though. Unfortunately, there had been minor setbacks over the years. But I wanted this life, which was why I'd fought so hard to get back on course, each and every time. I knew I would never be completely impervious to the call of human blood, but by now I had enough strength to withstand its lure, to be around humans. As long as I didn't smell freshly spilled blood, I was safe. I still didn't know how Carlisle was doing it, treating humans with open wounds on a daily basis. Maybe the fact that he'd never tasted human blood was working into his favor.

"But there is something else." Rose went on. Her tone of voice changed. She sounded rather … smug. "I'm pretty sure he is loyal to the Denali's, because he is mated to Irina."

This was certainly interesting news, maybe even good ones.

Irina was the one of the sisters I'd had the least contact with whenever we had been visiting our extended family in Denali. I barely knew anything about her, other than the basics, I'd learned from the others. She, like her sisters, was a succubus, and therefore always eager to get laid … a lot. Of course, she'd stayed away from me, because I've been supposedly mated to Alice back then, and because she was scared a little of me. Irina had tried her luck with Edward, but only once. Apparently she was a little smarter, or less masochistic than her sister Tanya, who always tried to get into Edward's pants, but failing each and every time. It was very entertaining to watch them, her persistence and his resulting discomfort.

Kate, on the other hand, was an exception among her sisters. For one, her succubae tendencies weren't as prominent, and secondly, she preferred to play for the other team, a fact I wasn't sure everyone knew about (apart from Edward, of course). She seemed to be a very private person.

Eleazar and Carmen were the equivalent to Carlisle and Esme, acting as parental leaders of their coven, although they didn't share a blood or venom relationship with the sisters. I've spent some nights talking with Eleazar, me sharing some of my past with Maria, and him telling me about his time among the Volturi guard. Sometimes Carmen had joined us, but she wasn't as willing to talk about her past as her mate.

It was safe to say that the Denali coven was the closest thing the Cullens had to extended family. We shared the same lifestyle, as in the same diet and the same views. None of the sisters had to pretend to be high school kids, like we had to do so many times.

"Oh, and you think, because of his alliance with them, he owns us the same courtesy?" I countered.

"Well, it's certainly a possibility. He knows about our strong connections with the Denali coven. And I know Irina is one hundred percent loyal to her family _and_ to us. If she'd have to choose I'm sure she'd choose her family over him. You know how tight they are. She and her sisters are both blood and venom related. There is no tighter bond than that." She argued heatedly. Mere out of instinct, I wanted to respond something, anything, but the sudden spike in Charlotte's emotions stopped me in time, before I could make a fool out of myself. From the corner of my eye I could see Char nodding her head emphatically. Now that I knew about her gift, I took her reaction as silent confirmation. It gave me some needed comfort.

"Let's hope you are right about that." I remarked, addressing both of them, but keeping my eyes on Rose.

"Well … how about we find out?" She proposed, pulling out her cell phone, skimming through the directory.

"Who are you calling?" I asked.

"Kate." She said. I was surprised, but I didn't demand an explanation. She clearly had her reason for calling her instead of Irina. And maybe it was the better to ask Kate for information than Laurent's mate. If he betrayed her, she might not be very forthcoming.

The phone rang four times, before it went to voicemail. Damn. Rose left a short message, asking for a return call. She tried to sound nonchalant, but wasn't completely convincing. But maybe that would work into our favor. The sooner we would get answers the better.

"Well, I guess we have to have a little more patience." She shrugged, sounding slightly disgruntled. Well, she wasn't the only one who felt that way. Patience wasn't one of our strong suits, even with infinite time at our disposal. That, I'd learned fast.

But I knew this wasn't the time or the place to panic. After all, I was still a soldier, a strategist. I could wait a little longer for answers. As long as we had a plan, we had nothing to worry about.

I straightened up in the seat, slightly shifting Bella's position on my lap. "Okay that's what we are going to do. We will stay together until the situation with the wolves and Laurent is resolved. No one goes out alone, is that clear?" Every vampire nodded in agreement. Peter was the only one who wore a slight smirk on his face. I ignored it, but only because I knew he didn't think this was funny, no, he was just pleased to see the old me. We shared a brief look, and a nod, and then I turned my attention towards my mate. "From now on, there is always going to be someone with you, Bella. And please don't start to argue, because this isn't up for discussion. I won't allow anything happening to you." I tried my best not to sound like Edward, but the truth was, I didn't care if I did. Her safety was way too important to me. I was surprised but utterly pleased when she didn't put up a fight. She wasn't happy to be told what to do, but she seemed to comprehend that the situation called for some safety measures.

She smiled up at me. "Well, I don't mind having you around all the time." She crooned.

"Careful what you wish for, darlin'." I playfully growled into her ear, and she shivered in delight. "I might just take you up on your offer. Although, we should probably be careful around the Chief …" I didn't get to finish my thought.

"Charlie." Bella exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "What time is it? Past six already … oh shit, I have to go. My Dad will be home soon and I have to make dinner." She frantically went to search for her things. I stared after her dumbfounded, as she made her way upstairs. A few moments later she was back at the top of the stairs, utterly breathless, but now wearing her boots.

"Easy, there, Bella." I tried to calm her, but she wouldn't have any of it. She came down, reaching for her coat, Charlotte was handing her and then she was out of the door.

I followed her outside, with the rest of my family on our trail.

She stood on the porch, searching for something. "Where the fuck is my truck?" She turned around, glaring at Peter. I could feel Emmett's and Rose's immense amusement. Both of them hadn't heard Bella using any kind of foul language before today. But I had come to witness more than once already what did lie underneath the surface. What she had shown Edward and the rest of the Cullens had been just a façade, an image. I loved the Real Bella, and her foul mouth.

Peter grinned. "I've parked … er, stashed your vehicle behind the garage." He said. Bella frowned at him, but didn't ask for a reason. She simply shrugged and made her way around the garage to her truck. The rest of us followed her.

She sat behind the wheel, trying to start the engine, but the ignition didn't fire. She gave it a few more tries, before she slammed her hands down on the wheel in resignation.

"My truck won't start." She cursed loudly. "Peter, what the fuck have you done?" The grumpy look on her face was truly adorable.

"I haven't done anything, little lady." Peter defended himself. Bella grumbled something unintelligible, clearly not believing him. I didn't either, not completely anyway, because I could tell he was hiding something from me and from her. But sensing Bella's urgency to get home in time, I discarded my suspicion … for now.

But before I could offer her a ride on my back, Rose stepped up. "No biggie, I can take you home." Rose said, surprising all of us. "I'll even take a look at your truck later, if you want." She added, phrasing her offer carefully. "I'm sure I can fix whatever is wrong 'til morning."

"That would be nice. Thank you, Rose." Bella replied. Both women smiled at each other tentatively. It was another, very important step in their blooming relationship. I could feel it. And I was happy about it, no question there, but I still felt robbed of the possibility to take care of my mate.

Bella reached for her back bag, and then she climbed out of the truck, leaving the key stuck in the ignition.

Then she looked at me and saw the sad look on my face. She dropped her bag to the ground and threw her arms around my waist. I pulled her closer, not wanting to let her go.

"I know you'd like to take me home yourself, Jasper. But I think you really need to hunt." She said, tracing the circles underneath my eyes. I was a little hungry, as expected after all that emotional drama. "I'll be fine with Rosalie, I promise."

"Yeah, I know." I replied, grumpily.

"You're cute, when you're pouting." Bella remarked, kissing me once, swiftly. "I'll leave the window open for you." She whispered, winking at me.

"You'll better." I growled, pulling her in for another, more passionate kiss. When I let go of her, she stumbled back slightly, fighting to catch her breath. "And you're cute, when you're blushing." She stuck out her tongue, and I chuckled at her silly antics. She grabbed her bag and followed Rose to Emmett's jeep. The rest of us tagged along.

"I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow." Bella said, before climbing into the passenger side of the jeep.

"Don't worry, Jasper, I'll make sure she gets home alright." Rose promised, getting behind the wheel.

"I know." I replied, adding in a low voice, inaudible to a human ear, "Please stay with her until her father gets home." I pleaded. She nodded once, closing the door. Then she rolled down the window, leaning her head out and saying her goodbye to her husband in a form of a short, but loving kiss.

"See you, Bella." Emmett called out, clearly fighting the urge to call her 'little sis'.

"See you, Emmett." Bella replied, just as awkward. But she gave him a little smile, which lightened up his mood marginally.

Rose closed the window and then they drove off. Just like this morning, I stared after them, until the vehicle vanished completely from sight. I reluctantly turned around to discover the only person left in the yard was Peter. And he was grinning like a fool.

"You've orchestrated this, didn't you?" I accused him.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He said, turning his back on me and strolling back into the house.

* * *

_A few months earlier …_

Edward POV

I couldn't take it anymore, I simply had to leave. Hiding in my room, going hunting on my own, avoiding the remaining members of my family most of the time … it wasn't working for me, not anymore. I needed a break, mentally and physically. A place where it was truly quiet and no thoughts of resentment, guilt or sorrow could plague my already tortured mind.

Rosalie called me a moping idiot out loud and in her mind, more than once. We've never been very close, so her resentful behavior didn't come as a surprise to me. She was deliberately trying to get a rise out of me, using me as an outlet for her anger, but I didn't care. I was just glad that she avoided me otherwise. Ever since we've arrived in Alaska she's spent most of her time either with her mate or Kate.

Esme, being the loving mother that she was, tried to give me space and time to grieve my loss. While my sister blamed me for _everything_ that had gone wrong in the recent past, my mother felt nothing but sympathy for my situation. Though I appreciated her sentiment, I wasn't sure I truly deserved it.

Rosalie wasn't that far off the truth with her assessment. I was to blame, at the very least for the feeling of loss my family was experiencing after our departure.

Emmett and Carlisle agreed with their spouses, for the most part, willingly following their example by leaving me alone, for which I was more than grateful, considering their own mental state. But then again they had every right to be angry and disappointed in me.

The fight we've had back in Forks was still fresh in my mind. How could I forget that? It has been the worst fight we've ever had, as a family, even worse than the argument we'd had after I'd saved Bella's life for the first time, by jumping between her and Tyler's van. Back then they had been angry with me for acting so recklessly, putting our very existence at risk, by exposing our secret to a human.

But now things were different.

A lot has happened in the meantime. Against all odds, Bella has managed to become a true member of my family … a beloved daughter, a little sister, a treasured friend. And how could they not love her? She was literally the personification of pure goodness, an angel, someone who should be protected at all costs, especially from a monster like me.

Although I hadn't expected anything less, I still had been a little surprised by Emmett's passionate reaction. He had fought so hard, not holding back one bit, attacking me with words only, but still … his words had managed to cut me deeper than a set of vampire teeth could have. I knew he still hated me for denying him his simple request, the chance to say goodbye to his little sister in person instead of dumping her like trash on the side road (his words not mine). I was certain he would have tried to remove more than one part of my body, if he'd known how exactly I'd ended things with Bella.

I could still see her face in my mind. I would never forget how sad she'd looked, how hurt and broken, when I'd told her that I didn't want her anymore, that I didn't love her and that I was leaving, and taking my family with me. I still couldn't believe how easy it had been to convince her. It might sound cruel and completely out of line, but the truth was that I'd expected it to be harder. I had been prepared to argue, to make her see reason, but Bella hadn't put up much of a fight, simply nodding in acceptance, almost like she had been waiting for it to happen.

How could she believe me so fast? I'd told her time and time again that I loved her. And she had responded in kind just as often. Then why hadn't she fought more? Was I such a convincing liar? Apparently … but in the end the reason didn't matter. I was relieved, because her quick acceptance had made things a little easier for me. I knew I shouldn't feel glad about it, but I was.

Without a doubt, I was physically strong, but mentally … not so much. I wasn't sure I would have been strong enough to uphold my charade for long if she'd reacted differently, if she'd actually argued with me.

In fact, there was another thing, an important detail, Emmett didn't know about. I've been very close to give in to his demand, allowing him to see Bella one last time, as long as we would to take our leave in the end.

I wasn't deliberately cruel, just desperate … desperate to give Bella what she truly deserved: A demon-free life, a _human_ life with all its pleasures and opportunities, things that I could never offer her … a physical relationship, a real family, a true future.

But Alice's timely interference had prevented me from verbalizing my offer, stopping me from making things worse than they've already been. We all knew better than to ignore her visions, and since nobody wanted to harm Bella further, we'd heeded her warning words and left.

It was the right decision. I was sure about that. As much as it pained me to be away from Bella, to see my family suffer, I still believed it was the only real choice left. Sure, at first I've only blamed Jasper, but to be honest his reaction at Bella's birthday party was just the tip of the iceberg. I should have known better. We all should have known better.

We were death in disguise, end of story.

True, for years we've tried our best to better ourselves. We've tried to live in a world that was no longer ours. But try as we might, we could never be one of them again.

We have been deluding ourselves. Allowing a human in our midst, pretending that it was alright, that it was safe. But I've been the biggest fool of us all. I should have listened to Jasper's and Rosalie's warning. Bella wasn't one of us, thereby in constant danger of getting herself hurt or even worse, killed.

But I've been arrogant and selfish, driven by the urge to prove myself and the desire to solve the mystery that was one Bella Swan, which was why I'd disregarded all warnings. But it was stupid to believe that spending time with Bella, getting to know her would make things easier, that I would get used to her alluring scent. The fact remained the same. Every moment I spent in her presence I had to fight the urge to sink my teeth into her neck and drain her dry.

It still made no sense to me, that I'd been able to suck out James' venom back in that dance studio in Phoenix and thereby saving her from becoming one of us.

I still felt bad about the fact that I'd sort of lied to her in the hospital. I'd told her my love for her has been the sole reason to stop in time. But the truth was that it was mainly the fear of her becoming a bloodthirsty vampire that had given me strength to accomplish the task in the end. But how could I have told her that?

It was a miracle that it had worked at all. She tasted even better than she smelled. Only thinking about the taste of her blood made my mouth water with venom.

And she had no idea how much harder it had become to be around her after that day.

_Mind over matter …_ I'd told her once. Yeah, right, that was just bullshit.

Every time she'd kissed me after our return to Forks, the burn of bloodlust in my throat had increased tenfold. I'd stopped spending the night lying next to her. Instead I'd retreated to her rocking chair as soon as she'd fallen asleep, only to return to her side when she'd started to stir. One more thing she didn't know about.

So why did I stay? Because, despite all the obstacles, I did love her. And how could I not? Everybody loved Bella, even Rosalie … in her own, special way.

Bella was unique. She had the purest soul I'd ever encountered.

And what did I do?

I broke her.

I broke the girl that I loved.

I should have stayed away from her from the start. It was stupid to believe that getting to know her would make things better, easier. Bella had no place in our world, not only because she was human and thereby weak. She was simply too good, too precious. I knew that she would have sacrificed her humanity and her soul to spend eternity with me without a second thought, because she loved me that much. She had told me so at prom.

But she didn't understand the consequences. She didn't know what she was giving up. And she certainly didn't know what it meant to fight the lust of blood each and every second, of every day, for an eternity. It was a never-ending struggle.

* * *

I went south … on foot, of course. Taking my car with me was out of the question. It had a GPS installed, and with that it would have been too easy to track me down. But I didn't want to be found. I wanted to be alone. And I didn't need a car to get around anyway. As much as I enjoyed speeding down an empty highway, I preferred running. Feeling the wind, the speed, the freedom … was truly exhilarating and the only feeling of true joy I knew … besides playing my piano.

Aside from a change of clothes and some writing material, I'd packed enough cash to last me for a while, years perhaps, since I didn't really need anything. Of course I'd taken my cell phone with me, just in case. But I left it turned off. For one, I needed to save the batteries. Out here in the wilderness it was very hard to find a socket to charge them. But more importantly my family could have used it to pinpoint my location, in the same way they could have done with my car.

Of course I appreciated modern technology. How could I not? A lot has changed since my human days, especially in the last decade, and most of the improvements turned out to be very handy, even for a vampire. But right now I hated those tiny devices, those chips, making it possible to locate me wherever I was hiding. Like it wasn't enough to have a sister who could track each and every move I was planning to make.

But I had another reason for leaving my phone off. I knew that Esme and Carlisle would try and check in with me. Even though they were not that much older than me, physically, and with Esme being indeed younger than me in vampire years, they had easily replaced the set of parents I'd lost all those years ago. I had the utmost respect for Carlisle and Esme, loved them with all my (dead) heart. I wouldn't have been able to ignore the ringing for long. This way it was much easier. I hated causing them more pain, but I needed time. I would call them … when I was ready.

I found a small, vacated hunting cabin in the woods of the Rocky Mountains, far enough away from any human population. Considering the less than perfect shape of the cabin I didn't expect anyone to show up here and reclaim this place. It wasn't like I really needed a place to stay, but I welcomed the prospect of having a roof over my head, just in case I needed shelter from the weather. Maybe I just was too used to having some comfort at least, but in any case, it was nice to have a place where you could sit or lie down, even if I didn't have the need to rest, physically.

I did clean up the place as best as I could, even making some minor repairs, like fixing the windows and the damage of the roof. For now, it would suffice.

It was beautiful out here … and oh so quiet. It was just what I needed right now. No thoughts of any kind, slowly driving me insane, only the sounds of nature. It was pure bliss.

I didn't know how long I was going to stay here. I had no real plan. I just wanted, no needed some time to rest, to come to terms with all the things that had gone wrong over the past weeks, or months. In a house full of vampires it had been sheer impossible for me to relax, to heal, but out here, I was free to let my mind wander, and to drown in my guilty feelings.

Alice had been the only person who'd tried to reach out to me, but I didn't want her help. I didn't really feel I deserved anyone's help or sympathy for that matter. I'd come to the conclusion that I had no right to mourn my loss at all. I had screwed up everything. Sure, it had been Jasper who'd lunged for Bella, but it had been me who'd caused the actual damage to her fragile body. And that was just one more reason, why I had to leave Bella. I couldn't be trusted around her.

And now I was alone.

At least that's what I thought. For the last couple of days I couldn't shake the feeling that someone or some_thing_ was watching me, following me whenever I was outside hunting or simply strolling through the area.

First I thought it was Alice. Even though I'd told her not to follow me, I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd gone against my wishes. It wouldn't have been the first time. I knew that she had been planning to leave the family as well. I had read it in her mind. But just like me she hadn't made up her mind about where to go to or what to do next.

The compassionate part of me still hoped that she would go and search for Jasper, despite the things she's said about him not being her mate. To this day, I had no idea if it was true, but deep down I was sure that she still cared about him, just like I still cared about Bella, even though I'd left her. Despite his actions and the resulting consequences, he was still part of our family. He deserved forgiveness.

Maybe Alice wanted to give me a head start, and some time alone, before she would finally catch up with me.

But then again if it had been Alice, she would have shown herself, instead of playing cat and mouse with me.

Whoever it was kept his distance. I couldn't pick up the scent of another vampire, or the usual tenor of a mind, always warning me in advance whenever someone was close. But there was nothing, no thoughts, no scent. Maybe I was just imagining things.

_There is no one out here in the woods … just you and wild animals … _I assured myself, more or less convincingly, before I made my way back to the cabin.

* * *

**A/N Sorry that it took me so long to update, but I hope I've made up with the length of this chapter. Unfortunately, RL sucks right now therefore I can't promise you a quick update for the next chapter. I'll try my best, though.**

**So Edward is alone after all or at least not with Alice. Hmm … what a mystery. Why would Alice lie to Esme and Carlisle, telling them that she was with Edward? Any theories?**


	28. Calm before the storm

**A/N Hmmm … maybe I've lost my touch or it took me too long to update, but I am a little disappointed that I am getting fewer responses than usual. *frowns, makes puppy dog eyes, then shrugs***

**Well maybe this will be more to your liking, some guy bonding between Jasper and Emmett, some girl talk between Rose and Bella, and on top of that some interaction with the werewolves.**

**And as an extra bonus: a little insight information on our mystery stalker.**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 28 Calm before the storm

Jasper POV

Char and Peter took off hunting shortly after Rose and Bella had left, taking their car this time. For a moment I wondered why they didn't just made their way to Port Angeles on foot, but since I had more important things on my mind, I didn't bother to ask. Who knew, maybe they wanted to hunt farther away this time, just to be safe, or planned to take a little shopping trip.

I was simply too anxious to care about the reason.

Ever since my mate has left with my sister the eerie ache in my chest was back, not at full force like earlier today when I was in Seattle with Char, but still strong enough to cause me some noticeable discomfort, like an itch I couldn't reach to scratch. I could detect a similar reaction in Emmett due to Rose's absence, but apparently he was somewhat used to it by now, able to squash it down. Understandably though, given that they were mated for over half a century. Like Char had told me, it would get easier in time … which was a relief.

"So, Jasper, are you ready to jet?" Emmett called my attention, clearly ecstatic about the idea of going hunting with me. His mood was quite catching, smothering the part of me that wanted to stay put and mope. The chance of spending some quality time with Emmett and getting some grub while we were at it, even though the whole thing was Peter's idea, sounded too good to pass up.

"Yes … just give a minute to get changed into something else." I replied. Emmett raised an eyebrow in question, but I didn't stick around to give him an explanation. His booming laughter followed me up the stairs.

Seconds later I was in my room, stripping off my pants and my shirt. I didn't want to ruin them, which was a likely possibility when going hunting with Emmett. Things could get a little rough sometimes. More than once we had come home from one of our hunting sessions with our clothes torn to shreds and drenched in animal blood and dirt, always causing Alice to have one of her legendary hissy fits. Although we all owed mountains of clothes and she never allowed us to wear something twice, she still hated it when we didn't treat our clothes with the utmost respect.

She has been such a nagging spoilsport sometimes, perfectly knowing that we guys, namely Em and I, needed some sort of physical outlet. We were male vampires, for God's sake. Fighting, even if only for fun, was part of our nature. Sure, sex was a great way too to let off steam, which was why Emmett and Rose had such an active love life. But Alice and I … well in that area something has always been missing.

_True passion …_

Anyhow … I wanted to keep these specific clothes intact, since it has been obvious that Bella liked seeing me in them, and her scent was all over them. So in case I would be unable to spend a night with her, I had something to remember her by, to snuggle in. God, I was turning into such a sap.

I rummaged through the drawers to find some old, pulling out a pair of old jeans and another plain shirt. They would do. I quickly got dressed, slipping my cell into my front pocket, and then I joined Emmett downstairs.

"This will be just like the good old times." He said cheerfully, rubbing his hands in anticipation.

"Yes, I'm sure it will." I chuckled.

A second later we were out of house and raced through the woods. Speed wise we were evenly matched. Edward was always the one who outrun us all. Emmett, being Emmett tried more than once to take me down, but of course I always managed to dodge his pathetic attempts. I didn't need Edward's gift. My own was working quite well enough to anticipate his moves, not to mention my decades of fighting experience working to my advantage. But it was fun nonetheless.

But soon we decided to go our different ways. It wouldn't be wise to hunt in close proximity. Sharing a meal with your mate was one thing, a rare one even, but two males would most likely end up tearing each other apart. Our territory instincts were simply too strong to ignore.

Emmett was hoping to find a bear, clearly in need to let off some steam, since I've neglected to indulge him with a fighting match. I knew the chance of finding a bear was rather slim to none at this time of year. But knowing Emmett he would find a cave and wake the bear from hibernation, just to have some fun.

I wasn't really hungry, which why I wasn't as picky as usual. And there wasn't any real selection around here anyway. I took down the first deer that came across my path and drained it quickly. I buried the carcass, and then I made my way back to a small clearing, waiting for Emmett to find me.

I sat down on a tree trunk, watching the sun descend through the thicket. I knew it would be long before she would completely disappear, thirty minutes at the most. It was kinda romantic out here … the colors, the stillness and the atmosphere was soothing. I wished I could share this moment with Bella though she might mind the cold.

Before I was able to drown myself in self-pity, Emmett emerged from the east. His appearance was nothing I haven't seen before. His clothes were dirty, and his shirt was ripped. One of the sleeves was missing completely. There were leaves and twigs stuck in his short curls. Simply put, he looked like a mess.

"I see you were in luck." I stated, shaking my head at his antics. His table manners were that of a five-year-old (human) child eating spaghetti. There were smudges of blood all over his clothes.

"Yeah," he grinned, "You know me, nothing is better than an irritated grizzly in the … evening."

"God, you are such a child sometimes."

"Now you sound like Alice … or even worse, like Edward." He snickered. I growled at the comparison. "Come on. Don't tell me you haven't missed this? Us … together hunting … having fun?" He flopped on the ground next me, moving his right hand through his hair. With a disgruntled look on his face he started to pluck the dirt out off his hair.

"Sure, I've missed it. But more importantly … I missed you guys." I admitted, letting him feel my sincerity through my gift.

He stopped mid-cleaning, frowning at me. "Yeah, we've missed you too, bro. Sorry that we didn't come looking for you."

"Wouldn't have done you any good anyway …" I tried to console him.

"But we should have tried … I should have listened to Rose. She'd tried to convince me time and time again, to go and find you. But I was so mad. I couldn't think straight … I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean to … when … when … you know … Bella is right … our combined bloodlust was too much for anyone to handle, especially you … I should have known that … I'm so sorry." He ended his rant on a pleading note, but too ashamed to meet my eyes.

"Stop with the guilt trip already, Em. It's making me nauseous." I joked, semi-sincerely. But it seemed to do the trick.

His mood improved … somewhat. "So, still brothers?" He pressed, giving me his trademark dimpled smile, crushing the twig he's been playing with to dust.

I grinned. "Of course, we are, nothing will ever change that." I said, clapping him on the back. "Unless … well you know all bets are off if you do anything to upset my mate. Do I make myself clear?" I accentuated my threat with a meaningful look.

Emmett cringed. "I get it. I won't, I promise. Oh God, things are so messed up right now. How did we get here? A couple of months ago everything was fine … yeah I know she was still with Edward, and you probably don't want to be reminded of that. But still, you know what I mean. I didn't want to leave her, but I did it anyway. Why didn't I fight harder? I get why she is so angry with me and I know I don't deserve her forgiveness. But please tell me there is a viable chance that Bella will forgive me." He implored.

"She will. I'm sure she will." I assured him. "But it won't happen overnight. You really need to have patience with her. She needs some time. But she will forgive you … eventually."

"That's good." He sighed in relief.

Maybe it wasn't my place to tell him, but I saw no other choice. I knew my brother. He would do pretty much anything to get back into my mate's good graces. Patience and diplomacy weren't exactly his strong suits. I knew how fragile Bella truly was despite her outward appearance. She still hurt.

I decided it was for the best to fill him in. Bella could yell at me later. I took in a deep breath. "It hasn't been easy for Bella after … well you know, after we all left her. That day has changed everything for her … for all of us. The trust she had put in us, so easily, was shattered … almost beyond repair. When I got here on Saturday she was so furious with me. She yelled at me, not holding back one bit. I've never seen her so angry. I didn't know she has it in her." I laughed at the memory. "But the funny thing is, she was never angry with me for trying to kill her, no she was only disappointed that I left, that we all left. She loved us, so deeply, and we … She is still dealing with some abandonment issues. She seems to be strong and believe me, she is a hell of a fighter, but she still suffers.

"We've left her, Emmett. We just left her. We all did a number on her self-esteem, not just Edward. Though, what _he_ did puts us leaving without saying goodbye to shame." I growled, remembering the night Bella shared her memories with me. I still wanted to hit someone, preferably Edward.

"What do you mean?" Emmett growled.

"He broke her, metaphorically speaking. I won't go into specifics here, because I'm not so sure she wants _me_ to tell you." I explained. I could sense Emmett's resentment and blame rise once more, which, I was sure this time was mainly directed at his bronze haired brother. Thanks to my gift I was able to keep his negative feelings at bay. I didn't even consider replacing them with positive ones. He had a right to his own feelings. But yet, I hurried to continue. "But I'm sure she will fill you in when she is ready. In fact, she didn't tell me anything either … not right away anyway. I'm pretty sure the only reason why she came to trust me again, so fast, is the fact that I am her mate, her_ true _mate.

"Anyhow … I can tell you this much. The things he said to her, the way he broke up with her … it has left its mark on her heart. I don't know how she is able to show me any kind of affection, how she can trust me, after what _Edward_ did, after what I _almost_ did … but I'm glad that she does." I groaned, rubbing my chest right above my dead heart. Thinking about my mate seemed to increase the throbbing pain.

Emmett was clearly lost for words, but his emotional turmoil spoke volumes, only adding to my discomfort. I pushed as much calm I could muster into him, with the desired effect. He considerably loosened up.

He glanced at me. "It sucks doesn't it? The pain, I mean …" My brother mused, smirking maliciously.

"Be grateful that I can feel your sympathy otherwise I would gladly kick your ass." I let him know, matching his grin with one of mine. "But to answer your question, I can't say that I'm enjoying the sensation, but from what I've been told it will get better. And compared to what I've endured in my past life this is a walk in the park … definitely manageable."

He nodded, frowning. "Does Bella know about your past?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes. I told her … not everything of course, but she knows enough. Bella is my life now, my reason for being … more than I've ever dared to dream about finding, and certainly more than I deserve to have … and I won't keep any secrets from her."

"And how … how did she did take it? Was she terrified?" He asked, probably remembering our first encounter and his own reaction, and that of the rest of his family. Everybody had been a little on edge when we'd first met, to put it lightly. My scars were like billboards, screaming danger. Every vampire knew what they meant, instinctively, or if they were unlucky, from personal experience.

I laughed. "No, she wasn't, actually. You know how Bella is. Always sympathetic … never judging. Without a second thought she forgave me for everything … for all the horrific things I did in my past, including my attempt to kill her." I said, shaking my head. I still couldn't believe it.

"Bella is truly one of a kind." Emmett chuckled, and I joined in. His feelings towards his little sister were strong and clear … love, admiration, and a strong desire to protect her. I let them wash over me, enjoying their pureness.

"Yes, she is." I agreed, chuckling. "The way she has Peter wrapped around her little finger, not to mention Char, is truly astounding. They think of her as a sister already, and they hardly know her."

Emmett huffed in annoyance. I could tell that he was a little jealous. "Emmett, there is no need to feel this way." I reprimanded him, but in gentle way. "Believe me. I know for a fact that deep down Bella still thinks of you as her big brother. Despite of what she said earlier she still loves you."

"If you say so …" He grumbled.

I chuckled at his petulant behavior. "Empath, remember." I said, pointing at myself.

Emmett rolled his eyes at me, swiftly changing the subject. "So, I take it you are planning to stay here." He assumed.

"Yes, until she has finished school. I don't know what we are going to do after that … I guess she wants to go to the university somewhere. I only hope that she does. I don't mind staying here for now, but I have no intention to remain here longer than necessary."

"Too many bad memories …" Emmett concluded, gloomily.

"Yes, something like that …" I muttered, moving to get on my feet. "Come on. Let's go back to the house, and get cleaned up. I really want to check up on Bella." I stressed.

"Are you telling me you don't you trust my wife? I'm shocked." Emmett mocked, jumping on his feet.

Was this his attempt to cheer me up? I snorted. It was tenuous at best. "You know very well it's not like that." I replied, rolling my eyes. "If anything, Rose is probably the safest bet among us. But still, I have to admit that I was a little surprised that Bella has taken Rose up on her offer so quickly … and so willingly."

"Yeah, me too." Emmett confessed, scratching his head.

"It makes sense though … they have less baggage." I mused.

"Point taken." He allowed, grudgingly.

With it our conversation came to a final end and we took off running back to the house, not at full speed, but still fast enough.

A few minutes later a very familiar stench, made me falter in my steps. It was already very strong, but seemed to increase in its intensity the further we got. I slowed down my strides considerably, eventually coming to a complete halt. Emmett copied my action, moving to my side.

"What's wrong?" He asked, slightly worried, but mostly confused.

"Did we cross the treaty line?" I asked him. Unfortunately, there wasn't an actual border line, like a fence or something, dividing our territory from theirs, which was part of the reason, why I've always avoided going anywhere near their territory. I didn't want to provoke them by accidentally stepping over the line.

"No, I'm sure, we haven't. But I can see … er, smell what you're getting at." He said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

I could sense them, before I could actually see them. "Prepare yourself. We are going to have company."

Emmett immediately moved into a crouch, frantically scanning the area in front of us. "How many?" He whispered, a mixture of excitement and anxiousness rolling of him in waves. I pushed against it, knowing it would be for the best to keep Emmett's emotions in check, as well as my own, otherwise this would end badly.

"That's probably a bad idea." I hissed, reaching for his arm. I pulled him to his feet, rather harshly. "We don't want to send them the wrong message, now do we?" I spared him a significant look. He nodded tersely, moving to stand behind me.

"How many?" He repeated his question.

"Three." I answered in a very low voice, barely above a whisper.

I was tense, very tense. I wasn't concerned about the uneven number, more about facing the unknown. I didn't like not knowing what to expect, and never having encountered a werewolf before, fell into that category.

Because the stench was almost unbearable at this point, I stopped breathing altogether, immensely grateful that I had no need for oxygen. By now I could hear their heartbeats loud and clear, even though they were still out of sight. I didn't know if it was normal for a werewolf to have an accelerated heartbeat, or not. But according to their emotions they were very anxious, which could be a feasible explanation for it.

I concentrated hard, feeling the need to gather as much information before we would come face to face with our 'enemy'. I could tell that one of them was trying very hard to maintain a level head. I couldn't be sure, but something told me he was in command. And there was something else. It almost seemed like they were having a conversation, which was ludicrous of course, since they were animals … at least at the moment.

I had to admit, despite my discomfort, I was highly intrigued. But realizing that right now was not the right time for such a sentiment, I squashed it down. I needed to stay alert, on top of the situation.

"Stay behind me and let me do the talking." I instructed my brother, who silently agreed with me.

A moment later three enormous furry creatures came into few. Even though it wasn't his first time, Emmett let out a strangled noise, more or less resembling a gasp of surprise. I nearly did the same, but caught myself just in time.

They were huge. To call them wolves was a disgrace to the real deal. They looked more like overgrown, misshaped dogs with too much fur. In fact they were almost as big as horses.

The one in the lead was completely black and slightly bigger than the two others flanking him. The one on his right side had grey fur, while the other was brown with highlighted areas on the back. At least this way it was easy to tell them apart. For a split second I wondered how many more of them there were. But I doubted they would give up that vital piece of information voluntarily.

The wolves stopped a few feet away from us, thus keeping a safe distance. It was probably for the best. They wouldn't let me or Emmett out of their sight, though it was obvious that the black was far more interested in me than my brother. I kept my pose as nonthreatening as possible, but at the same time I didn't want them to think I was intimidated, which I wasn't of course. It would take a lot more than three oversized puppies to scare me. The black wolf seemed to recognize my authority, and vice versa. It was obvious, from his stance and his emotions, that he was the one in charge.

_The pack leader … the alpha … whatever …_

It was hard not to answer the constant growling of the other two with one of my own. Emmett was having an even harder time to keep himself in check. Almost like reading my mind, the black wolf barked out some sort of order, and his companions fell silent.

_So far so good …_

Then he cocked his head to one side, scrutinizing me. Before I was able to interpret the shift in his emotions completely, he bolted, disappearing behind a tree. The other two stayed put, but their level of discomfort spiked dramatically.

_What the hell is he up to?_

I've been using my gift on them (and on Emmett) the entire time, but I kept the output of my calming influence at a steady, intermediate level, since I didn't want to knock them out. I was just glad that it worked at all. For all I knew, they could have been impervious to my gift.

Surprisingly though, they seemed to be quite aware that they were being manipulated. And one thing was for sure, they didn't like it, not one bit. Of course, they tried to fight it off, with very little success. So the wolves have heard about special gifted vampires? That made me wonder what else they might know.

The air crackled with magic, and a second later a tall, broad-shouldered man with short black hair rejoined the two remaining wolves. He was naked, except for a pair of short pants. Funny, I hadn't noticed it before, but there was some piece of clothing fastened to one of their hind legs. _How resourceful …_ I was sure they did it merely for modest reasons, since it was obvious that the cold didn't seem to bother him, at all.

"We just came here to talk." He said, coldly. His voice was deep, and the implication behind his words was plain obvious. He didn't want to be here anymore than Emmett and I.

* * *

Bella POV

The ride home in Emmett's jeep was short, and for the most part pleasant. As much as I loved my old truck, riding in a vehicle that could go over fifty miles an hour and didn't make these weird rumbling noises all of the time was truly a nice change. To my surprise Rosalie kept to the speed limit. I was grateful for that though, clearly remembering how Edward's driving used to scare the living crap out of me.

It was the silence between me and Rosalie that was a little unsettling, but then again it was totally understandable, since we didn't know each other that well, or at all. And what should we talk about? The weather, her nice shoes, school … Hardly. Apparently we had at least one thing in common. Neither one of us felt the need to fill the void with silly chitchat.

We were just pulling into the driveway in front of my house, when Rosalie's cell phone beeped. She shut down the engine and pulled her cell out. She quickly read the text message, grumbling something I couldn't quite catch. But from the irritated expression on her face, I surmised that it couldn't be anything good. She huffed and then put her phone away.

"Is there a problem?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No. Everything is just _peachy_." She answered in a clipped tone. I almost smiled. Almost. One thing was for sure, Rosalie wasn't known for hiding her true feelings, from anyone. In some way, I respected her straightforwardness. At least you knew where you stood with her. But unfortunately, she hardly ever explained her reasons behind her feelings, at least not to me.

"Well, thanks for the ride." I said. I quickly unfastened my seatbelt, not seeing a reason for remaining in the car any longer, since it didn't look like she was planning to give me a real answer. I grabbed my backpack, but when I reached for the door handle, Rosalie stopped me by gently laying a hand on my shoulder.

"It's not like that, Bella. The message was from Peter." She told me, without hesitation. Or so it seemed. "He just wrote that I should stay with you. That's all. Well not quite … he made it very clear it was _imperative_ that I don't leave you alone until Jasper is back. He emphasized the word with three exclamation marks. Cryptic bastard. Something tells me that he knows more, but for some reason doesn't want to tell me." She seethed.

"He probably does." I commented with a chuckle. Rosalie looked at me with a frown on her face. For a moment I pondered if I should tell her about Peter's gift, but I decided against it. _Not my place …_

I opened the door, and stepped out of the vehicle. "Well … why don't you come in then?" I offered, making it actually sound like an invitation. The truth was I didn't mind spending some more time with her, trying to get to know her better. _This could be interesting …_

I was far more concerned about how I should explain her presence to Charlie. Without a doubt he wouldn't be as forgiving, not after experiencing my suffering due to their leaving right along with me. But I took comfort in the fact that he would meet Rosalie first. I was not quite ready yet to tell him about my involvement with Edward's brother. That would take some time and preparation.

With a sigh I turned away from the jeep, walking straight to the front porch. I searched my bag for the key. Even though I heard her door open and close, I didn't hear her approach. I jumped, startling by her sudden appearance at my side.

"Sorry." She apologized, sincerely.

"I'm fine." I assured her, unlocking the front door. She followed me into the living room. "Make yourself comfortable. I know it's not much, but it is …"

"Home." Rosalie finished my sentence, in a wistful voice. She smiled warmly, taking in the room.

I nodded, surprised by her reaction. She seemed rather intrigued, instead of repelled. "Yes … I'm just going upstairs to change my clothes. I'll be back in a jiffy."

"Take your time." She said, walking over to the mantelpiece to look at the pictures lined up there. I shook my head, but didn't linger. I turned, leaving her in the living room. I headed straight for the stairs, taking two at the time. I quickly changed my outfit, putting on a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a plain shirt. Then I rejoined Rosalie downstairs. She had one of the pictures in her hand, turning around just when I reached the last step.

"You were adorable as a child." She remarked, genuinely, carefully putting the picture back. Most of the pictures were showing me, like a sort of visual timeline from my day of birth until today. This particular one showed me and my father at a fair near Seattle. I was five at the time, sitting on my father's shoulders with a small stuffed giraffe, which he'd won for me at some game, smiling in the camera. One of my frontal teeth was missing, and my face was smeared with remains of chocolate ice-cream. Rosalie was right. It was a cute photo, and certainly one of the less embarrassing pictures on display. There was one of me, all dressed up in fishing gear, holding a large fishing pole … and I was drenched. More than once, I'd managed to fall into the river while being on a fishing trip with my Dad. That was part of the reason why I hated it. But even though, I've always agreed to join him each and every time, just because I've wanted to spend as much time with my father as possible, considering we've seen each other only two or three times a year. And it has made Charlie happy.

I didn't know how to respond to Rosalie's comment. I was flattered, for sure, but there was something in her eyes … grief … a strange longing I couldn't comprehend. I simply stared at her, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

"I really should start making dinner." I blurted out, really glad to have an excuse to leave the room, before it could get any more awkward. I practically ran into the kitchen. I went straight to the fridge and opened it.

The selection was minimal. Of course, the freezer was stocked with fresh fish, but I knew that would take too long. Charlie was due to be home in half an hour.

_I really need to go shopping tomorrow …_

I decided to make a simple pasta dish. And there were still some vegetables left, enough to make a salad to go with the main course. I knew that Charlie wouldn't mind, as long as he would get a home cooked meal, he was happy. In this we were the same … easy to please.

When I turned around, I came to realize that Rosalie had managed once again to follow me without making a sound, whatsoever. But this time I was prepared, kinda expecting her to be in here instead of remaining in the living room.

The gorgeous blonde vampire sat at the small kitchen table, playing absentmindedly with the salt shaker. Even though she didn't seem to mind to be here, she looked quite out of place. Someone like her who belonged on the cover of every fashion magazine there was, shouldn't be forced to babysit a silly human like me.

I was sure that she was just as unsure and nervous as I was. It was, after all, the first time we were alone, without someone acting as a buffer. Of course, I knew she wouldn't do anything to harm me, physically. But to be frank, I was more concerned about getting hurt emotionally. Her words had the tendency to cut deeper than her teeth would. But then I remembered the way she had acted back at the Cullen house. Maybe she has changed. _One way to find out …_

"Can I offer you something to drink?" I asked, politely, trying to eliminate some of the tension by making a joke … a very bad one at that, considering I was talking to a vampire.

She stared at me for a moment, probably thinking I've finally lost my mind, before she burst out laughing. I joined in, savoring the sight. I've never seen her so … carefree. Gone was the constant grimace. A genuine smile took its place, making her look even more beautiful. I had no idea that was possible.

"You've got some wicked humor there, Bella. I didn't know you had it in you. But I like it." She chuckled. "And to answer your question … No, thank you, I'm fine."

"That's good to know." I let out a fake breath of relief. "And I definitely don't want you to get sick, by making you drink something that isn't compatible with your system."

"You care about my wellbeing. I'm touched." Rosalie replied. There was something her voice that told me she was only partially joking. "Actually, I haven't consumed any kind of human food since my change. It wasn't like I had any craving for it any longer. And having witnessed what it _can_ do … thanks to Emmett's repeated tryouts … I think I'll never test it myself." She said, making a face of pure repulsion. "It is pretty unpleasant."

"I can imagine." I grinned. It wasn't a big shock that Emmett was foolish enough to try this more than once. This was so like him. Edward had told there was only one way to get rid of human food, solid or liquid. _The same way it gets in …_The mere thought of it made me shudder. "We really need a change of subject. I am just about to prepare a meal, and we are talking about puking. It's highly inappropriate, don't you think?" I scoffed.

"I couldn't agree more." Rosalie concurred.

I turned my back on her and started to wash the vegetables. Just then, I could hear the chair scratching the floor. I knew she did it on purpose, thus letting me know that she was approaching. She came to stand beside me.

"Can I help?"

Her question caught me completely off-guard. Was she serious? Her offer sounded legit. "Er … if you want to …" I said, warily, unable to hide my bewilderment. I shrugged and went to search the cupboards for a bowl, placing it and a cutting board on the counter. "Thanks for the offer, Rosalie."

"Don't mention it. And please, call me Rose." She said, smiling warmly. She picked up a tomato, experimentally inhaling its essence. From the looks of it she did like the aroma. "I used to love these." She said wistfully, before putting it on the board. "I may not have any cooking skills … but I think I can manage to cut the ingredients."

"I have the utmost confidence in you." I said, handing her a knife. She snorted, but didn't comment. Instead she immediately got to work, starting to cut the vegetables into perfect bite-sized pieces. I filled a pot with water for the pasta, placing it on the heating plate, but I didn't turn on the oven. I would wait for that until my father was home. "You should have seen the chaos Jasper had created this morning, when he'd tried to make me breakfast. It was hilarious." I giggled, remembering the forlorn, defeated expression on Jasper's face at the time of my arrival in the kitchen. He had looked so adorable in his frustration. God, I missed him.

"I bet it was." Rose said, smirking. She was almost finished with her task. For some unknown reason she was taking her time, working at a human pace. Maybe she did it for my sake, trying to make me feel better, less inferior. Suddenly she stopped, glancing at me with a suspicious look on her perfect face. "And you were probably glad to discover that we aren't good at everything after all, am I right?"

_Damn … busted … and by the ice-queen of all people …_

* * *

Rose POV

I gave Bella a meaningful look, daring her to contradict me. Her cheeks flushed in typical Bella-fashion. Just then I realized how much I've missed it, missed her. How odd.

Bella averted her eyes in what I interpreted as embarrassment. I could practically hear her mind working. Was she actually considering lying to me, especially now that we were making such good progress? She must know that I would be able to see right through it, not only because she truly sucked at lying, but mainly because I knew I was right with my assessment.

At last, I got my answer, but only in nonverbal form. Bella simply nodded her head once, just confirming what I already knew. But why did she feel ashamed?

"Don't feel bad, Bella. It's a completely understandable reaction on your part." I hurried to appease her mind, waving my hand casually. "Nobody will hold it against you for feeling this way. It's only natural … and probably a good thing too. Sometimes the guys feel way too smug about our so-called superiority. They need to be put in their places from time to time." I said, winking at Bella. It had the desired effect. She relaxed, giggling lightly. Then she carried on with her preparations. I wrinkled my nose when she opened a can with some red substance, emptying it into a small pan. I figured it was some sort of sauce for the pasta. I couldn't imagine that it actually tasted good, by the way it smelled. Thankfully she covered the pan with a lid, keeping the horrific stench slightly contained.

I diverted my attention back to my assigned task, cutting the last two tomatoes. I sort of liked it. And as long as I had to deal only with raw ingredients, I could manage to work with human food without making a fool out of myself, by gagging or something along that line.

It was probably for the best that I was doing this part anyway, considering the need for a sharp object. The Bella I knew was very prone to accidents and cutting herself … again … in the presence of a vampire was certainly not in her best interest. Though, I had to admit, she seemed to be more confident, in more ways than one. So far, she hasn't tripped, not even once. And she definitely seemed to have grown up mentally. Gone was the insecure, little girl who used to follow Edward like a lost puppy. The new Bella was certainly someone according to my taste, figuratively speaking.

"Anyhow … the fact is, none of us know how to cook … well apart from Esme, of course. You probably don't know this, but she was the only one of us who had to provide for a family while she was still human. That's why she is the only one who knows how to cook. Different times, different values. Men in my days barely knew how to boil water." I chuckled, but sobering quickly. "And as for me … well I have never been taught how to make dinner."

"Why not?" She asked, sounding intrigued, not nosy.

"What exactly has Edward told you about me?" I answered her question with one of my own. I knew it was very rude, but I needed to know what she did know about me already, before I would start to fill her in on my history. I emptied the rest of the cut vegetables into the bowl, pushing it towards Bella.

"Not much." She said, reaching for a bottle of oil. She uncapped it and added some it to the salad, along with some spices and salt, using a large spoon to mix everything. "He didn't seem comfortable talking about any of you behind your backs. He only indicated that you've been through something similar like me … you know the incident with the guys in Port Angeles." I cringed, but it escaped her notice. Bella had no idea how close she was to the truth. But unlike her, no one came to my rescue … well not in the conventional way. "Apart from Carlisle's past, pretty much everything I know about you guys I've learned from the person in question. And since you and I never had the chance to get to know each other …" She trailed off, biting her lip worriedly. I knew she wasn't blaming me, just stating a fact. But she did have a point. Maybe things between us could have been different then, if it hadn't been for tenacity to push her away. And I've clearly underestimated Edward's sense for integrity. I've always thought he would use his gift to his advantage, betraying our secrets, to suit his purpose. Apparently I was wrong about that, too.

"I really blew it there, didn't I?" I said, laughing awkwardly. Bella smiled softly, shrugging her shoulders. Was this her way of saying 'maybe'? I really hoped it wasn't too late to rectify things between her and me. I said as much.

"I believe it's never too late." She stated. There was no trace of deceit in her voice. She really meant it. "I've always wanted to get to know you … every one of you. I just didn't get the chance before. Maybe in time … we can be friends."

"I would like that very much." I said, softly, adding attentively, "… and so would Emmett."

Bella froze for a moment, but recovered quickly. "I need some time." She insisted, her voice slightly unsteady.

"I understand … and so does he. Just give him a chance, please." I begged. "He truly missed you."

"I missed him, too." She admitted, placing the bowl with the salad on the table. I helped her setting up the table. I even added a plate for myself, not really looking forward to actually consuming any of the food. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to.

I sat down, asking her to join me. Since there wasn't anything else she needed to prepare, she complied, rather eagerly. I was just about to start telling her about my past, when her home line rang. With a small noise of protest, she stood up and went to answer it. Thanks to my superior senses I was able to hear both sides of the conversation.

"Bells, it's me." Her father said.

"Hi Dad. Will you be home soon?" She asked.

"That's why I'm calling." He grumbled, obviously annoyed. "I'm sorry, honey, but I won't be home for at least another hour. I've just got a call from the hospital. Apparently someone broke in, and stole some stuff. I need to go there and check it out, since Henry has … once again … managed to be late for his shift. So, don't wait up for me with dinner."

"That's unfortunate." Bella sighed. I knew she didn't mean that, at least not completely, because I could detect a hint of relief in her voice. I was sure it had something to do with me, though I didn't blame her. Explaining my presence to the Chief was going to be tricky. "I leave something for you in the fridge, to reheat in microwave, okay?"

"Thanks. You are an angel. What would I do without you?"

"Probably starve to death." Bella teased, giggling.

"Har, har, very funny." He complained, but laughing himself. Their little banter made me smile as well. It was quite obvious how close they were. I felt a twinge of jealousy, because she had something I've been missing my entire human life … a true, loving relationship with my parents. "Well, I guess I'll see you later." He said his goodbyes.

"Bye, Dad." She replied, and then the line disconnected. After she hung up the phone, she turned around, smirking at me. "Well, at least you won't have to pretend to eat."

"There is that." I allowed, chuckling, though I was far happier about the fact, that I would have some more time with her alone.

Bella turned on oven, in order to heat up the sauce and the water. Then she sat down again, loading her plate with a small portion of the salad. "Sure, you don't want anything?" She asked, with a mischievous smile on her face.

I rolled my eyes. "Just eat."

She sniggered, but followed my advice without any delay. It was quite clear that she was hungry, since her stomach has been growling for a while. I leaned back in my seat, watching her enjoy her first course, something she didn't seem to like very much.

So, I decided that now was probably the best time to continue our conversation. It would give me something to do, and with her busy eating, she would be a very good listener. But unfortunately, before I even got the chance to formulate my first sentence, my nose was assaulted by a strange, yet familiar stench. I knew right away it had nothing to do with Bella's cooking.

My head snapped up, and my whole body went rigid, a reaction that didn't go unnoticed by Bella.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, dropping her fork.

"I'm not quite sure yet, but we are going to have company." I informed her, unable to mask my discomfort, visibly or verbally. I got on my feet, moving toward the front door. I could hear her turning of the oven (clever girl), before she joined me in the hall.

"Who is it?" She whispered.

I didn't get the chance to give her an answer. An unfamiliar, not quite pleasant voice beat me to the punch. "Bella, I know you are in there … and I know you're not alone."

"Jacob?"

* * *

Unknown POV

He was hunting again, moving gracefully through the woods. Sometimes I had a little trouble following him, because he was really, _really_ fast. But fortunately I was always able to catch up with him in the end. And if I didn't I would simply go back to his cabin, waiting for his return.

I've been watching him for days, always keeping my distance, mostly hiding in the trees, out of sight.

Of course, I knew right away what he was. He wasn't the first vampire I've come across in my long life, and he probably won't be the last one. But he was by far the most interesting, not to mention the most attractive. His hair had the strangest color I've ever seen. Auburn. And it was in constant disarray. But I liked it, yearning to run my fingers through it, wanting to feel its texture. He was tall and lean, but well-built nonetheless … at least from what I could tell. So far I haven't seen him without clothes. But I was sure I wouldn't be disappointed.

Simply put … his beauty took my breath away.

Of course, _that_ fact didn't come as a surprise to me. His kind was known for being unusually, _inhumanly_ attractive … among other things. And I also knew that they used it to lure their human prey. Good thing I didn't fall into that category … at least not completely.

I probably should have left these woods the moment he showed up, especially since it seemed he was planning to stay for a while. His kind and mine didn't tend to get along very well … or at all.

But I didn't want to leave. I liked it these woods. And I was here first.

I've always been too stubborn and too curious for my own good … according to my family. Those character traits were my greatest weaknesses, and in conjunction with my unwillingness to submit to rules that made no sense to me, the reason why I was by myself for all these years.

Instead of staying away or better yet attack them on sight, I've always felt compelled to get to know these creatures. Sadly, my first face-to-face encounter didn't end well … for the vampire in question …

_It was during one of my long, solitary strolls through the forest of my mother country when I came across a female. I wasn't supposed to leave the confines of our settlement, but of course I didn't listen._

_As soon as I spied her, my instincts kicked in, automatically. It was probably a good thing though, considering my recklessness. But fortunately, my senses told me that she was the only vampire in the near vicinity._

_She was smaller than me, and blond, wearing clothes that definitely had seen better days. Her eyes were bright red, a sign that she had fed quite recently. Oddly, I didn't feel bad about that, even though I knew that a human had given his life to preserve hers. But they had to eat something, didn't they?_

_All I felt was relief, because a hungry vampire might have attacked me on sight. But as it was, she didn't show any sign of animosity. In fact, it was obvious that she was just as startled as I was. For a few moments we appraised each other in silence. Taking her size into account, I was pretty sure I could take her … but that would always be my last resort._

_I detested any kind of violence. True, I did understand the reason for self-preservation. But in my opinion we had no right to hunt them down and kill them, just because they _might_ pose a threat._

_Live and let live … that has always been my motto. I would only fight to defend myself. As long as she didn't give me a reason to attack, I wouldn't._

_I was sure at this point that she didn't mean my any harm. But even though, I kept my distance. After all, I wasn't an idiot. I've heard the stories … countless times. I knew what this creature was capable of._

_Better safe than sorry …_

_She seemed to be just as cautious, not making any move either. We both were slightly unsure what to make of the other, but at the same time I was certain she was as intrigued and curious as I was._

_With a shy, but genuine smile on my face I sat down on the forest floor. She seemed to understand my friendly gesture for what it was, an invitation, and copied my action, slowly, her eyes never leaving mine._

_And then we started talking. To my surprise, she was very forthcoming, quite the chatty person. Her name was Thira. I learned that she was relatively young, only a decade old. She had been sixteen when she was changed, only a year older than me. Her maker hadn't treated her very nicely, but eventually she had been able to escape him. She has been on her own for almost three years, simply wandering around, not looking for anything in particular. She simply enjoyed living her life from one day to the other._

_I felt bad for the little vampire. It was clear that she hadn't chosen this life. It had been forced upon her. But she was trying to make the best of it … in her own way. At the very least she seemed to be happy to be free to go wherever she wanted. And for that, I envied her._

_I was just about to tell her about myself, to show her what I was, when all of the sudden my brothers showed up._

_Everything happened so fast._

_One of them restrained me at once, thus preventing me from interfering. In hindsight, it was probably for the best. Rationally, I knew that I wasn't strong enough to take them on and protect her, but that didn't mean I wouldn't have tried … only to end up hurt or even worse, getting myself killed in the process._

_But before I was able to explain or do anything, the other three attacked my potential new friend, shredding her to pieces in mere seconds. She didn't stand the slightest chance._

_The ripping sounds were awful, like nails on a chalkboard awful. Her screams were so loud, and heart-rending. I started to cry, begging them to stop before it was too late, but my brothers wouldn't listen._

_For one last time I met Thira's eyes. They were wide open, full of fear and pain. But what really got to me was the glimpse of betrayal I could detect in them. Oh my god, she was dying with the thought that I'd set her up. I stopped struggling, and collapsed. My brother went down with me, still keeping his arms around me … just in case._

"_I'm sorry." I mouthed, and then her head landed in the fire, along with the rest of her other severed body parts._

_And then it was over. All that was left of the nice, innocent girl was a pile of ashes. The sweet stench of her remains was polluting the air, almost making me retch._

_The sudden stillness was unnerving. My brother finally let me go, and I crumbled, starting to cry in earnest._

"_Why? Why?" I moaned between sobs._

"_You know why!" My oldest brother, suddenly back in his human form, snapped at me._

"_She … she didn't … she wasn't going to hurt me." I managed to get out between my sobs. "She was harmless."_

"_You can't be serious." He scoffed. "You know that these leeches live for one thing, and one thing only … blood. Be glad that you don't smell like food to them, otherwise you would be dead by now." He came over, hauling me to my feet, with more force than necessary. He was angry, and disappointed. "Let's get out of here. This area isn't safe. Who knows how many more are out there."_

"_Thira was alone." I sniffed._

_My brother tightened his grip on my arm, but I didn't flinch. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction in showing him, how much his rough treatment hurt me, physically and emotionally. "The council will be very interested in this. Making friends with the enemy … that's a new one. What were you thinking?"_

_I didn't even consider giving him an answer to that question. He wouldn't understand my reasoning, none of them would. I let them lead me back to the camp. Why put off the inevitable any longer than necessary? I did my best to mentally prepare myself for what awaiting me. I knew that the council would be less than happy with me and my actions._

'Unhappy' was putting it mildly. They have been furious. Never before have I seen them so agitated. Sure I've expected as much, but yet I was shocked to the core when I received their final verdict a day later.

I was ostracized by my own people, asked to never return, ever. In their eyes, by fraternizing with the enemy, I've committed treason, an unforgivable offense in our society. And since I've shown no regret for my actions, whatsoever, they had no other choice.

I've accepted my punishment without a fight. Sure, my heart ached to leave my people. After all, this was my home, my family, everything I knew. But it was quite obvious that I wasn't welcomed any longer. So I left.

Throughout the years I mostly kept to myself, barely making any direct contact with anyone, human or otherwise.

Though, I've spent a couple of years with a nice, elderly lady, named Anna, who has been living alone since her husband passed away. She owned a small ranch in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in New Mexico. She caught me stealing some of her food, but instead of chasing me off, she took me in. I gladly accepted her offer. I stayed with her until the day she had no other choice but to sell her property. I helped her with the chores, and in return she taught me how to read and write. I liked her very much, but I've never felt comfortable enough to reveal my true nature to her. But more importantly, I didn't want to scare her. Fortunately, she wasn't very nosy person, not asking many questions, so I've never had to lie to her. We've parted ways as friends.

That was ages ago. Since then I've been alone, staying away from populated areas. I actually spent more time in my second skin than as a human. It was safer, and more prudent, since I had no money to purchase food or clothing. And to be honest I preferred living like that.

I knew it was just a matter of time, before I would run into some vampires. The ones I've met so far were all nomads like me. But I haven't tried to make contact with any of them, because it was quite obvious that they were the complete opposite of Thira. I've had no other choice but to kill two, in order to stay alive, the most recent one last year. But I didn't feel really bad about it. They were evil and nasty, and deserved to die.

Unlike this one.

_He_ was something else entirely … an anomaly among his kind. I almost fell off my tree the first time I saw him hunting. Without much effort he took down a deer, only to lean in and quench his thirst on it. Suffice it to say, I was completely astonished.

He didn't hunt humans.

What was wrong with him? Why would he do that? Were there others that shared his choice of diet? I had so many questions.

That … and my undeniable attraction towards the bronze haired beauty … was the reason why I stayed, barely leaving him out of my sight. By now I was sure he knew that he was being followed. He kept looking over his shoulder, frequently scanning his surroundings and sniffing the air. Thankfully, he couldn't distinguish my smell from the animal life around us … and for good reason, since I've spent most of my life in animal form.

I wondered what he was doing out here. From the looks of his clothes he was used to a completely different life style. Somehow, I got the impression that he was on the run, hiding from something … or someone. But what, and why?

More than once I found him sitting on a rock at the sore of the lake near his cabin, reading or busy writing in his journal. He looked so lost, and sad. I longed to comfort him. But I wasn't quite ready yet, to approach him.

I wanted to know more before I showed myself.

I've never entered the cabin before today, but I figured the only way I could get any information without actually talking to him, would be by reading his journal. I knew it wasn't right, but my curiosity got the better of me.

So, as soon as I was sure he was otherwise engaged, I rushed back to his cabin. The door was still open. Only when I was inside I changed back into my human form. I would need opposable thumps, if I wanted to be able to turn the pages. I slipped into a simple white dress, the only clothe I possessed and always had with me. Then I went to search for his journal. I didn't have to look long. It lay on the small table, which besides a chair was the only intact furniture in this room. I grabbed it and sat down on the floor. I opened the journal, glad to discover he was speaking the same language as me. For a moment I marveled over his neat, elegant penmanship, before I started reading.

I was so engrossed into his journal that I completely forgot the time and where I was. That's why his sudden appearance at the door took me totally off-guard.

"Who are you?"

* * *

**A/N hmmm … me and my damn cliffhangers, well some things never change. After reading this it should be clear who or rather what is following Edward, at least I hope it is. Just a little hint, it's not a Yeti *winks at **_**Jazzella**_***.**

**So now that the werewolves have made their first move, on two fronts, what is going to happen? Any theories?**

**Well, I guess we'll see each other next year! Until then, take care.**


End file.
